Re: aggressive speech/behavior

July 24, 2007

Hi i am shell mum of six my five year old has aspergers my four year old classic

autism

my five year old is very very aggresive and has the problems with friends .

my son also woll argue the case to the bitter end but you have to satnd firm

and believe in the

end he will understand i know all baout the kicks the punches the misiles being

launched and luner

mum lol

but we learn to stay one step infront if he wants chocolate for doing a chore

then you ask hin for

something when you do anyhting for him he will be very confused but if you

explain in a way only

you know understands that if yopu give him something for a job he gives you

something for a job

black and white is all they know there is no inbetween

if i can help in any way my group link is below .

love shell

kind regards shell

http://groups.msn.com/autismaspergersinthefamily

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July 24, 2007

I completely understand your frustration. Our son as AS and uses very inappropriate words to express his anger. I know he does it because he doesn't know any other way to get out how angry he is at the moment. He's said he wants to cut people, use bombs, hang you, etc.....when he gets angry. Fortunately, if I set him down (this doesn't work with his father, who also has a temper) and say do you really want to hurt 'this person', he will say no BUT....and try to explain his anger in 'better terms'. He will be in second grade next year and he will be having group sessions with other children to help him communicate. I am hoping this will help him learn to express his anger in a more appropriate manner. You and your family are in my prayers as I know how you feel. We have a 19 mo. neuro-typical son and he is picking up on some of our AS son's behavior. I can only ask God to

help!spencercg <spencercg@...> wrote: Hi, I don't post often (too busy!), but have been having difficulty with my 10 year old son (PDD-NOS), who is home for the summer. The beginning of the summer was great - he worked in the yard for hours (he loves to weed!), and lined up jobs for neighbors. The jobs have petered out, he's participated somewhat successfully in a morning camp last week (he can either keep himself pulled together or he can have a friend, and we chose to let him be in a

group with a friend for the week - I know he needs friends, but it is hard to watch him self-sabotage behaviorally because he thinks it impresses the friend.) Almost our whole family participated in the day camp (I direct it), so chores slid, and we've had a hard time pulling everyone back into our usual routine. My son has resisted going back into the routine pretty hard, and last night, refused to set the table unless I bought him chocolate, which I wasn't going to do (I never do give in to these unreasonable requests, but he hasn't learned this, another frustration since eventually his brother and sister learned it!) I gave him the choice of setting the table or spending the rest of the evening in his room (he was back-talking pretty badly). After 5 minutes in his room he stomped upstairs, saying "I forgot something." I told him to get it and go back down. He said, "I forgot the butcher knife!" I told him that was

inappropriate, and that he needed to get back to his room and stay there. He stomped down the stairs shouting, "I hate you! I hate myself!" Later his brother took down a peanut butter sandwich for his dinner, and he remained in his room.This really unnerved me because, a couple of months ago he was upset with his sister and went and got his pocket knife and threatened her with it. Needless to say, he lost the pocket knife. I think he did this last night to get a rise out of me, but he really does know what buttons to push. We've been working since the earlier situation with his sister to get him back into therapy (he moved from therapy to a social skills group 2 years ago), and can't get our psych clinic to understand how urgent we feel the situation has become (we have to be assigned a new psych, since ours has moved on). I'd really appreciate words of encouragement or your prayers!cindymother of

3 (son, 15, typically developing; daughter 12, typically developing; son, 10, PDD-NOS)

Shape in your own image. Join our Network Research Panel today!

July 26, 2007

In my 10 year old's moments of anger he will say things like he wants to kick someone in the shins or hurt himself. Luckily once he's calmed down he says he definitly did not mean that. Allcock <jallcock105@...> wrote: I completely understand your frustration. Our son as AS and uses very inappropriate words to express his anger. I know he does it because he doesn't know any other way to get out how angry he is at the moment. He's said he wants to cut people, use bombs, hang you, etc.....when

he gets angry. Fortunately, if I set him down (this doesn't work with his father, who also has a temper) and say do you really want to hurt 'this person', he will say no BUT....and try to explain his anger in 'better terms'. He will be in second grade next year and he will be having group sessions with other children to help him communicate. I am hoping this will help him learn to express his anger in a more appropriate manner. You and your family are in my prayers as I know how you feel. We have a 19 mo. neuro-typical son and he is picking up on some of our AS son's behavior. I can only ask God to help!spencercg <spencercg > wrote: Hi, I don't post often (too busy!), but have been having difficulty with my 10 year old son (PDD-NOS), who

is home for the summer. The beginning of the summer was great - he worked in the yard for hours (he loves to weed!), and lined up jobs for neighbors. The jobs have petered out, he's participated somewhat successfully in a morning camp last week (he can either keep himself pulled together or he can have a friend, and we chose to let him be in a group with a friend for the week - I know he needs friends, but it is hard to watch him self-sabotage behaviorally because he thinks it impresses the friend.) Almost our whole family participated in the day camp (I direct it), so chores slid, and we've had a hard time pulling everyone back into our usual routine. My son has resisted going back into the routine pretty hard, and last night, refused to set the table unless I bought him chocolate, which I wasn't going to do (I never do give in to these unreasonable requests, but he hasn't learned this, another frustration since

eventually his brother and sister learned it!) I gave him the choice of setting the table or spending the rest of the evening in his room (he was back-talking pretty badly). After 5 minutes in his room he stomped upstairs, saying "I forgot something." I told him to get it and go back down. He said, "I forgot the butcher knife!" I told him that was inappropriate, and that he needed to get back to his room and stay there. He stomped down the stairs shouting, "I hate you! I hate myself!" Later his brother took down a peanut butter sandwich for his dinner, and he remained in his room.This really unnerved me because, a couple of months ago he was upset with his sister and went and got his pocket knife and threatened her with it. Needless to say, he lost the pocket knife. I think he did this last night to get a rise out of me, but he really does know what buttons to push. We've been working since the earlier situation

with his sister to get him back into therapy (he moved from therapy to a social skills group 2 years ago), and can't get our psych clinic to understand how urgent we feel the situation has become (we have to be assigned a new psych, since ours has moved on). I'd really appreciate words of encouragement or your prayers!cindymother of 3 (son, 15, typically developing; daughter 12, typically developing; son, 10, PDD-NOS) Shape in your own image. Join our Network Research Panel today!

July 28, 2007

,

prayers for you! I hope you can get him into counseling soon.

RoxannaAutism Happens

( ) aggressive speech/behavior

Hi, I don't post often (too busy!), but have been having difficulty with my 10 year old son (PDD-NOS), who is home for the summer. The beginning of the summer was great - he worked in the yard for hours (he loves to weed!), and lined up jobs for neighbors. The jobs have petered out, he's participated somewhat successfully in a morning camp last week (he can either keep himself pulled together or he can have a friend, and we chose to let him be in a group with a friend for the week - I know he needs friends, but it is hard to watch him self-sabotage behaviorally because he thinks it impresses the friend.) Almost our whole family participated in the day camp (I direct it), so chores slid, and we've had a hard time pulling everyone back into our usual routine. My son has resisted going back into the routine pretty hard, and last night, refused to set the table unless I bought him chocolate, which I wasn't going to do (I never do give in to these unreasonable requests, but he hasn't learned this, another frustration since eventually his brother and sister learned it!) I gave him the choice of setting the table or spending the rest of the evening in his room (he was back-talking pretty badly). After 5 minutes in his room he stomped upstairs, saying "I forgot something." I told him to get it and go back down. He said, "I forgot the butcher knife!" I told him that was inappropriate, and that he needed to get back to his room and stay there. He stomped down the stairs shouting, "I hate you! I hate myself!" Later his brother took down a peanut butter sandwich for his dinner, and he remained in his room.This really unnerved me because, a couple of months ago he was upset with his sister and went and got his pocket knife and threatened her with it. Needless to say, he lost the pocket knife. I think he did this last night to get a rise out of me, but he really does know what buttons to push. We've been working since the earlier situation with his sister to get him back into therapy (he moved from therapy to a social skills group 2 years ago), and can't get our psych clinic to understand how urgent we feel the situation has become (we have to be assigned a new psych, since ours has moved on). I'd really appreciate words of encouragement or your prayers!cindymother of 3 (son, 15, typically developing; daughter 12, typically developing; son, 10, PDD-NOS)

July 28, 2007

, I know exactly what you are going thru. Our son (14) makes these kinds of threats. You sound so calm. I'm not calm. It ticks me off! We have had to put locks on that we should not have had to. I now lock my bedroom when I leave the house b/c I don't want him in their. There have been times that we have locked up the knives in the pantry. I don't understand why they make these threats? We, like you, have consequences for when he does this but it never seems to change. He is in both individual and group therapy. The asperger me,me,me is driving ME nuts.

Sorry I did not make you feel better. I'm with ya on the side of the road. At least we are not alone.

( ) aggressive speech/behavior

Hi, I don't post often (too busy!), but have been having difficulty with my 10 year old son (PDD-NOS), who is home for the summer. The beginning of the summer was great - he worked in the yard for hours (he loves to weed!), and lined up jobs for neighbors. The jobs have petered out, he's participated somewhat successfully in a morning camp last week (he can either keep himself pulled together or he can have a friend, and we chose to let him be in a group with a friend for the week - I know he needs friends, but it is hard to watch him self-sabotage behaviorally because he thinks it impresses the friend.) Almost our whole family participated in the day camp (I direct it), so chores slid, and we've had a hard time pulling everyone back into our usual routine. My son has resisted going back into the routine pretty hard, and last night, refused to set the table unless I bought him chocolate, which I wasn't going to do (I never do give in to these unreasonable requests, but he hasn't learned this, another frustration since eventually his brother and sister learned it!) I gave him the choice of setting the table or spending the rest of the evening in his room (he was back-talking pretty badly). After 5 minutes in his room he stomped upstairs, saying "I forgot something." I told him to get it and go back down. He said, "I forgot the butcher knife!" I told him that was inappropriate, and that he needed to get back to his room and stay there. He stomped down the stairs shouting, "I hate you! I hate myself!" Later his brother took down a peanut butter sandwich for his dinner, and he remained in his room.This really unnerved me because, a couple of months ago he was upset with his sister and went and got his pocket knife and threatened her with it. Needless to say, he lost the pocket knife. I think he did this last night to get a rise out of me, but he really does know what buttons to push. We've been working since the earlier situation with his sister to get him back into therapy (he moved from therapy to a social skills group 2 years ago), and can't get our psych clinic to understand how urgent we feel the situation has become (we have to be assigned a new psych, since ours has moved on). I'd really appreciate words of encouragement or your prayers!cindymother of 3 (son, 15, typically developing; daughter 12, typically developing; son, 10, PDD-NOS)

July 28, 2007

Just a different perspective. My son did this when he was 10 0r 11. He both threatened others and himself. The cause was abuse from the other children in his (small) class. This had a devastating effect on him that he, at 19, is still working out.LizOn Jul 28, 2007, at 7:16 AM, or Steve wrote:, I know exactly what you are going thru. Our son (14) makes these kinds of threats. You sound so calm. I'm not calm. It ticks me off! We have had to put locks on that we should not have had to. I now lock my bedroom when I leave the house b/c I don't want him in their. There have been times that we have locked up the knives in the pantry. I don't understand why they make these threats? We, like you, have consequences for when he does this but it never seems to change. He is in both individual and group therapy. The asperger me,me,me is driving ME nuts.Sorry I did not make you feel better. I'm with ya on the side of the road. At least we are not alone.

July 29, 2007

Liz, I would not doubt for a moment that this started with kids in his class. Even back in elem. school there were problems with kids. Very mean kids.

Re: ( ) aggressive speech/behavior

Just a different perspective. My son did this when he was 10 0r 11. He both threatened others and himself. The cause was abuse from the other children in his (small) class. This had a devastating effect on him that he, at 19, is still working out.

Liz

On Jul 28, 2007, at 7:16 AM, or Steve wrote:

, I know exactly what you are going thru. Our son (14) makes these kinds of threats. You sound so calm. I'm not calm. It ticks me off! We have had to put locks on that we should not have had to. I now lock my bedroom when I leave the house b/c I don't want him in their. There have been times that we have locked up the knives in the pantry. I don't understand why they make these threats? We, like you, have consequences for when he does this but it never seems to change. He is in both individual and group therapy. The asperger me,me,me is driving ME nuts.

Sorry I did not make you feel better. I'm with ya on the side of the road. At least we are not alone.

July 29, 2007

HI there,

My son uses inappropriate words when he is upset or just plain mad.

For instance if one of his sisters gets on his nerves and he's to the

point that he just can't take it anymore he tells me that " One day I " m

just going to kill them " ! It's very un-nerving to hear words like

this from a 10 year old. When he is having a meltdown he will also

tell me that I hate him and don't love him and that he wishes he were

dead. We are now in the process of having his medication evaluated to

see if he is on the right ones. I do tell him once he has calmed down

that those are not appropriate words and he tells me that he knows that

and he just said them because he was so mad. We are also working on

learning some self calming techniques but are not having much luck so

far!

Jackie

On Jul 24, 2007, at 2:50 PM, spencercg wrote:

> Hi,

> I don't post often (too busy!), but have been having difficulty with

> my 10 year old son (PDD-NOS), who is home for the summer. The

> beginning of the summer was great - he worked in the yard for hours

> (he loves to weed!), and lined up jobs for neighbors. The jobs have

> petered out, he's participated somewhat successfully in a morning

> camp last week (he can either keep himself pulled together or he can

> have a friend, and we chose to let him be in a group with a friend

> for the week - I know he needs friends, but it is hard to watch him

> self-sabotage behaviorally because he thinks it impresses the

> friend.) Almost our whole family participated in the day camp (I

> direct it), so chores slid, and we've had a hard time pulling

> everyone back into our usual routine. My son has resisted going back

> into the routine pretty hard, and last night, refused to set the

> table unless I bought him chocolate, which I wasn't going to do (I

> never do give in to these unreasonable requests, but he hasn't

> learned this, another frustration since eventually his brother and

> sister learned it!) I gave him the choice of setting the table or

> spending the rest of the evening in his room (he was back-talking

> pretty badly). After 5 minutes in his room he stomped upstairs,

> saying " I forgot something. " I told him to get it and go back down.

> He said, " I forgot the butcher knife! " I told him that was

> inappropriate, and that he needed to get back to his room and stay

> there. He stomped down the stairs shouting, " I hate you! I hate

> myself! " Later his brother took down a peanut butter sandwich for

> his dinner, and he remained in his room.

>

> This really unnerved me because, a couple of months ago he was upset

> with his sister and went and got his pocket knife and threatened her

> with it. Needless to say, he lost the pocket knife. I think he did

> this last night to get a rise out of me, but he really does know what

> buttons to push. We've been working since the earlier situation with

> his sister to get him back into therapy (he moved from therapy to a

> social skills group 2 years ago), and can't get our psych clinic to

> understand how urgent we feel the situation has become (we have to be

> assigned a new psych, since ours has moved on).

>

> I'd really appreciate words of encouragement or your prayers!

>

> cindy

> mother of 3 (son, 15, typically developing; daughter 12, typically

> developing; son, 10, PDD-NOS)

>

July 29, 2007

Jackie, does it seem like your kid just suddenly flips

when he does that? You just described my kid

perfectly. It almost seems like she gets in these

times when she is what we call, out of her frickin

mind. Truly. She is not rational, you cannot calm

her down, you cannot distract her or talk her out of

it. You just have to wait for it to pass. Then later

on, when she is in her " right mind " she will cry and

say she is sorry and she doesn't know why she did it.

She knows it is wrong later on, but at the time is not

able to see anything wrong with what she is doing or

saying and not able to stop herself.

Kaye

--- <hunebear3@...> wrote:

> HI there,

>

> My son uses inappropriate words when he is upset or

> just plain mad.

> For instance if one of his sisters gets on his

> nerves and he's to the

> point that he just can't take it anymore he tells me

> that " One day I " m

> just going to kill them " ! It's very un-nerving to

> hear words like

> this from a 10 year old. When he is having a

> meltdown he will also

> tell me that I hate him and don't love him and that

> he wishes he were

> dead. We are now in the process of having his

> medication evaluated to

> see if he is on the right ones. I do tell him once

> he has calmed down

> that those are not appropriate words and he tells me

> that he knows that

> and he just said them because he was so mad. We are

> also working on

> learning some self calming techniques but are not

> having much luck so

> far!

>

> Jackie

> On Jul 24, 2007, at 2:50 PM, spencercg wrote:

>

> > Hi,

> > I don't post often (too busy!), but have been

> having difficulty with

> > my 10 year old son (PDD-NOS), who is home for the

> summer. The

> > beginning of the summer was great - he worked in

> the yard for hours

> > (he loves to weed!), and lined up jobs for

> neighbors. The jobs have

> > petered out, he's participated somewhat

> successfully in a morning

> > camp last week (he can either keep himself pulled

> together or he can

> > have a friend, and we chose to let him be in a

> group with a friend

> > for the week - I know he needs friends, but it is

> hard to watch him

> > self-sabotage behaviorally because he thinks it

> impresses the

> > friend.) Almost our whole family participated in

> the day camp (I

> > direct it), so chores slid, and we've had a hard

> time pulling

> > everyone back into our usual routine. My son has

> resisted going back

> > into the routine pretty hard, and last night,

> refused to set the

> > table unless I bought him chocolate, which I

> wasn't going to do (I

> > never do give in to these unreasonable requests,

> but he hasn't

> > learned this, another frustration since eventually

> his brother and

> > sister learned it!) I gave him the choice of

> setting the table or

> > spending the rest of the evening in his room (he

> was back-talking

> > pretty badly). After 5 minutes in his room he

> stomped upstairs,

> > saying " I forgot something. " I told him to get it

> and go back down.

> > He said, " I forgot the butcher knife! " I told him

> that was

> > inappropriate, and that he needed to get back to

> his room and stay

> > there. He stomped down the stairs shouting, " I

> hate you! I hate

> > myself! " Later his brother took down a peanut

> butter sandwich for

> > his dinner, and he remained in his room.

> >

> > This really unnerved me because, a couple of

> months ago he was upset

> > with his sister and went and got his pocket knife

> and threatened her

> > with it. Needless to say, he lost the pocket

> knife. I think he did

> > this last night to get a rise out of me, but he

> really does know what

> > buttons to push. We've been working since the

> earlier situation with

> > his sister to get him back into therapy (he moved

> from therapy to a

> > social skills group 2 years ago), and can't get

> our psych clinic to

> > understand how urgent we feel the situation has

> become (we have to be

> > assigned a new psych, since ours has moved on).

> >

> > I'd really appreciate words of encouragement or

> your prayers!

> >

> > cindy

> > mother of 3 (son, 15, typically developing;

> daughter 12, typically

> > developing; son, 10, PDD-NOS)

> >

July 29, 2007

Have you tried kid yoga? Or breathing techniques? What about a weighted vest or blanket? Pressure point massage? <hunebear3@...> wrote: HI there,My son uses inappropriate words when he is upset or just plain mad. For instance if one of his sisters gets on his nerves and he's to the point that he just can't take it anymore he tells me that "One day I"m just going to kill them" ! It's very un-nerving to hear words like this from a 10 year old. When he is having a meltdown he will

also tell me that I hate him and don't love him and that he wishes he were dead. We are now in the process of having his medication evaluated to see if he is on the right ones. I do tell him once he has calmed down that those are not appropriate words and he tells me that he knows that and he just said them because he was so mad. We are also working on learning some self calming techniques but are not having much luck so far!JackieOn Jul 24, 2007, at 2:50 PM, spencercg wrote:> Hi,> I don't post often (too busy!), but have been having difficulty with> my 10 year old son (PDD-NOS), who is home for the summer. The> beginning of the summer was great - he worked in the yard for hours> (he loves to weed!), and lined up jobs for neighbors. The jobs have> petered out, he's participated somewhat successfully in a morning> camp last week (he can either keep himself pulled together or he

can> have a friend, and we chose to let him be in a group with a friend> for the week - I know he needs friends, but it is hard to watch him> self-sabotage behaviorally because he thinks it impresses the> friend.) Almost our whole family participated in the day camp (I> direct it), so chores slid, and we've had a hard time pulling> everyone back into our usual routine. My son has resisted going back> into the routine pretty hard, and last night, refused to set the> table unless I bought him chocolate, which I wasn't going to do (I> never do give in to these unreasonable requests, but he hasn't> learned this, another frustration since eventually his brother and> sister learned it!) I gave him the choice of setting the table or> spending the rest of the evening in his room (he was back-talking> pretty badly). After 5 minutes in his room he stomped upstairs,> saying "I forgot

something." I told him to get it and go back down.> He said, "I forgot the butcher knife!" I told him that was> inappropriate, and that he needed to get back to his room and stay> there. He stomped down the stairs shouting, "I hate you! I hate> myself!" Later his brother took down a peanut butter sandwich for> his dinner, and he remained in his room.>> This really unnerved me because, a couple of months ago he was upset> with his sister and went and got his pocket knife and threatened her> with it. Needless to say, he lost the pocket knife. I think he did> this last night to get a rise out of me, but he really does know what> buttons to push. We've been working since the earlier situation with> his sister to get him back into therapy (he moved from therapy to a> social skills group 2 years ago), and can't get our psych clinic to> understand how urgent we feel the situation has

become (we have to be> assigned a new psych, since ours has moved on).>> I'd really appreciate words of encouragement or your prayers!>> cindy> mother of 3 (son, 15, typically developing; daughter 12, typically> developing; son, 10, PDD-NOS)>>>>

July 29, 2007

We have tried breathing techniques and a weighted lap pad... problem is

he doesn't get that he needs to do these things BEFORE he explodes!

I'm working on it but it's a slow process. Yoga was just suggested to

us at our first OT appt on Friday. is a sensory seeker and he

enjoys deep pressure and having his joints, muscles stretched... so we

are on the lookout for a Yoga DVD that he can work on!

Great ideas!

Jackie

On Jul 29, 2007, at 7:09 AM, Dee DiMemmo wrote:

> Have you tried kid yoga? Or breathing techniques? What about a

> weighted vest or blanket? Pressure point massage?

>

> <hunebear3@...> wrote:HI there,

>>

>> My son uses inappropriate words when he is upset or just plain mad.

>> For instance if one of his sisters gets on his nerves and he's to the

>> point that he just can't take it anymore he tells me that " One day I " m

>> just going to kill them " ! It's very un-nerving to hear words like

>> this from a 10 year old. When he is having a meltdown he will also

>> tell me that I hate him and don't love him and that he wishes he were

>> dead. We are now in the process of having his medication evaluated to

>> see if he is on the right ones. I do tell him once he has calmed down

>> that those are not appropriate words and he tells me that he knows

>> that

>> and he just said them because he was so mad. We are also working on

>> learning some self calming techniques but are not having much luck so

>> far!

>>

>> Jackie

>> On Jul 24, 2007, at 2:50 PM, spencercg wrote:

>>

>> > Hi,

>> > I don't post often (too busy!), but have been having difficulty with

>> > my 10 year old son (PDD-NOS), who is home for the summer. The

>> > beginning of the summer was great - he worked in the yard for hours

>> > (he loves to weed!), and lined up jobs for neighbors. The jobs have

>> > petered out, he's participated somewhat successfully in a morning

>> > camp last week (he can either keep himself pulled together or he can

>> > have a friend, and we chose to let him be in a group with a friend

>> > for the week - I know he needs friends, but it is hard to watch him

>> > self-sabotage behaviorally because he thinks it impresses the

>> > friend.) Almost our whole family participated in the day camp (I

>> > direct it), so chores slid, and we've had a hard time pulling

>> > everyone back into our usual routine. My son has resisted going back

>> > into the routine pretty hard, and last night, refused to set the

>> > table unless I bought him chocolate, which I wasn't going to do (I

>> > never do give in to these unreasonable requests, but he hasn't

>> > learned this, another frustration since eventually his brother and

>> > sister learned it!) I gave him the choice of setting the table or

>> > spending the rest of the evening in his room (he was back-talking

>> > pretty badly). After 5 minutes in his room he stomped upstairs,

>> > saying " I forgot something. " I told him to get it and go back down.

>> > He said, " I forgot the butcher knife! " I told him that was

>> > inappropriate, and that he needed to get back to his room and stay

>> > there. He stomped down the stairs shouting, " I hate you! I hate

>> > myself! " Later his brother took down a peanut butter sandwich for

>> > his dinner, and he remained in his room.

>> >

>> > This really unnerved me because, a couple of months ago he was upset

>> > with his sister and went and got his pocket knife and threatened her

>> > with it. Needless to say, he lost the pocket knife. I think he did

>> > this last night to get a rise out of me, but he really does know

>> what

>> > buttons to push. We've been working since the earlier situation with

>> > his sister to get him back into therapy (he moved from therapy to a

>> > social skills group 2 years ago), and can't get our psych clinic to

>> > understand how urgent we feel the situation has become (we have to

>> be

>> > assigned a new psych, since ours has moved on).

>> >

>> > I'd really appreciate words of encouragement or your prayers!

>> >

>> > cindy

>> > mother of 3 (son, 15, typically developing; daughter 12, typically

>> > developing; son, 10, PDD-NOS)

>> >

July 29, 2007

Kaye,

You hit the nail on the head! There's not dealing with him once he has

gotten to this point. I have to just send him to his room and leave

him alone. About 50 percent of the time he will come and say he is

sorry, but he is without remorse or guilt so I'm not sure what exactly

is going through his mind. I do talk to him about it and he says he

understands and does not know why he says those things... but then the

next time we have a " spell " it's the same thing all over! The doctor

is concerned that these mood swings could be Bi Polar... we are hoping

to see about that on the 6th of August when we meet with the

Development Pediatrician. She's the best locally and is the Autism

Specialist at the Children's hospital!!

BTW... we use the term " out of his frickin mind " too!!! LOL Gave my DH

and I a good laugh this morning because it's great to see that other

people think this stuff too!

Jackie

On Jul 28, 2007, at 10:55 PM, Kaye Bates wrote:

> Jackie, does it seem like your kid just suddenly flips

> when he does that? You just described my kid

> perfectly. It almost seems like she gets in these

> times when she is what we call, out of her frickin

> mind. Truly. She is not rational, you cannot calm

> her down, you cannot distract her or talk her out of

> it. You just have to wait for it to pass. Then later

> on, when she is in her " right mind " she will cry and

> say she is sorry and she doesn't know why she did it.

> She knows it is wrong later on, but at the time is not

> able to see anything wrong with what she is doing or

> saying and not able to stop herself.

>

> Kaye

>

> --- <hunebear3@...> wrote:

>

>> HI there,

>>

>> My son uses inappropriate words when he is upset or

>> just plain mad.

>> For instance if one of his sisters gets on his

>> nerves and he's to the

>> point that he just can't take it anymore he tells me

>> that " One day I " m

>> just going to kill them " ! It's very un-nerving to

>> hear words like

>> this from a 10 year old. When he is having a

>> meltdown he will also

>> tell me that I hate him and don't love him and that

>> he wishes he were

>> dead. We are now in the process of having his

>> medication evaluated to

>> see if he is on the right ones. I do tell him once

>> he has calmed down

>> that those are not appropriate words and he tells me

>> that he knows that

>> and he just said them because he was so mad. We are

>> also working on

>> learning some self calming techniques but are not

>> having much luck so

>> far!

>>

>> Jackie

>> On Jul 24, 2007, at 2:50 PM, spencercg wrote:

>>

>>> Hi,

>>> I don't post often (too busy!), but have been

>> having difficulty with

>>> my 10 year old son (PDD-NOS), who is home for the

>> summer. The

>>> beginning of the summer was great - he worked in

>> the yard for hours

>>> (he loves to weed!), and lined up jobs for

>> neighbors. The jobs have

>>> petered out, he's participated somewhat

>> successfully in a morning

>>> camp last week (he can either keep himself pulled

>> together or he can

>>> have a friend, and we chose to let him be in a

>> group with a friend

>>> for the week - I know he needs friends, but it is

>> hard to watch him

>>> self-sabotage behaviorally because he thinks it

>> impresses the

>>> friend.) Almost our whole family participated in

>> the day camp (I

>>> direct it), so chores slid, and we've had a hard

>> time pulling

>>> everyone back into our usual routine. My son has

>> resisted going back

>>> into the routine pretty hard, and last night,

>> refused to set the

>>> table unless I bought him chocolate, which I

>> wasn't going to do (I

>>> never do give in to these unreasonable requests,

>> but he hasn't

>>> learned this, another frustration since eventually

>> his brother and

>>> sister learned it!) I gave him the choice of

>> setting the table or

>>> spending the rest of the evening in his room (he

>> was back-talking

>>> pretty badly). After 5 minutes in his room he

>> stomped upstairs,

>>> saying " I forgot something. " I told him to get it

>> and go back down.

>>> He said, " I forgot the butcher knife! " I told him

>> that was

>>> inappropriate, and that he needed to get back to

>> his room and stay

>>> there. He stomped down the stairs shouting, " I

>> hate you! I hate

>>> myself! " Later his brother took down a peanut

>> butter sandwich for

>>> his dinner, and he remained in his room.

>>>

>>> This really unnerved me because, a couple of

>> months ago he was upset

>>> with his sister and went and got his pocket knife

>> and threatened her

>>> with it. Needless to say, he lost the pocket

>> knife. I think he did

>>> this last night to get a rise out of me, but he

>> really does know what

>>> buttons to push. We've been working since the

>> earlier situation with

>>> his sister to get him back into therapy (he moved

>> from therapy to a

>>> social skills group 2 years ago), and can't get

>> our psych clinic to

>>> understand how urgent we feel the situation has

>> become (we have to be

>>> assigned a new psych, since ours has moved on).

>>>

>>> I'd really appreciate words of encouragement or

>> your prayers!

>>>

>>> cindy

>>> mother of 3 (son, 15, typically developing;

>> daughter 12, typically

>>> developing; son, 10, PDD-NOS)

>>>

July 29, 2007

There is a yoga video called kid yoga that I got out from the library its very basic and doesn't require a lot of flexibility. Also on the channel Sprout, they do yoga every night. It helps that I do a daily dozen of yoga postures everyday & DS sees that. FitTV has a show Namaste Yoga but a lot of the episodes are for more advanced practicitioners and might be frustrating <hunebear3@...> wrote: We have tried breathing techniques and a weighted lap pad... problem is he doesn't get that he needs to do these things BEFORE he explodes! I'm working on it but it's a slow process. Yoga was just suggested to us at our first OT appt on Friday. is a sensory seeker and he enjoys deep pressure and having his joints, muscles stretched... so we are on the lookout for a Yoga

DVD that he can work on!Great ideas!JackieOn Jul 29, 2007, at 7:09 AM, Dee DiMemmo wrote:> Have you tried kid yoga? Or breathing techniques? What about a > weighted vest or blanket? Pressure point massage?>> wrote:HI there,>>>> My son uses inappropriate words when he is upset or just plain mad.>> For instance if one of his sisters gets on his nerves and he's to the>> point that he just can't take it anymore he tells me that "One day I"m>> just going to kill them" ! It's very un-nerving to hear words like>> this from a 10 year old. When he is having a meltdown he will also>> tell me that I hate him and don't love him and that he wishes he were>> dead. We are now in the process of having his medication evaluated to>> see if he is on the right ones. I do tell him once he has calmed

down>> that those are not appropriate words and he tells me that he knows >> that>> and he just said them because he was so mad. We are also working on>> learning some self calming techniques but are not having much luck so>> far!>>>> Jackie>> On Jul 24, 2007, at 2:50 PM, spencercg wrote:>>>> > Hi,>> > I don't post often (too busy!), but have been having difficulty with>> > my 10 year old son (PDD-NOS), who is home for the summer. The>> > beginning of the summer was great - he worked in the yard for hours>> > (he loves to weed!), and lined up jobs for neighbors. The jobs have>> > petered out, he's participated somewhat successfully in a morning>> > camp last week (he can either keep himself pulled together or he can>> > have a friend, and we chose to let him be in a group with a

friend>> > for the week - I know he needs friends, but it is hard to watch him>> > self-sabotage behaviorally because he thinks it impresses the>> > friend.) Almost our whole family participated in the day camp (I>> > direct it), so chores slid, and we've had a hard time pulling>> > everyone back into our usual routine. My son has resisted going back>> > into the routine pretty hard, and last night, refused to set the>> > table unless I bought him chocolate, which I wasn't going to do (I>> > never do give in to these unreasonable requests, but he hasn't>> > learned this, another frustration since eventually his brother and>> > sister learned it!) I gave him the choice of setting the table or>> > spending the rest of the evening in his room (he was back-talking>> > pretty badly). After 5 minutes in his room he stomped

upstairs,>> > saying "I forgot something." I told him to get it and go back down.>> > He said, "I forgot the butcher knife!" I told him that was>> > inappropriate, and that he needed to get back to his room and stay>> > there. He stomped down the stairs shouting, "I hate you! I hate>> > myself!" Later his brother took down a peanut butter sandwich for>> > his dinner, and he remained in his room.>> >>> > This really unnerved me because, a couple of months ago he was upset>> > with his sister and went and got his pocket knife and threatened her>> > with it. Needless to say, he lost the pocket knife. I think he did>> > this last night to get a rise out of me, but he really does know >> what>> > buttons to push. We've been working since the earlier situation with>> > his sister to get him back into

therapy (he moved from therapy to a>> > social skills group 2 years ago), and can't get our psych clinic to>> > understand how urgent we feel the situation has become (we have to >> be>> > assigned a new psych, since ours has moved on).>> >>> > I'd really appreciate words of encouragement or your prayers!>> >>> > cindy>> > mother of 3 (son, 15, typically developing; daughter 12, typically>> > developing; son, 10, PDD-NOS)>> >>> >>> >>> >

July 29, 2007

Jackie, that's interesting that your doc mentioned

the bipolar mood swings. We just found out this

summer that Karissa is a " rapid cycler " on the mood

swing thing. So now she takes mood stabilizers and it

is a whole lot better. The thing is, the times she

gets this way, it is just like a sudden flip

(everything is calm, nothing happened to set her

off)...It is just a sudden flip for no apparent

reason. Since you never saw it coming in the first

place, you can do nothing to head it off. When it is

one of these true mood flip things, she is like she is

on a dirge. Very negative talking. If you try to

calm her, she escalates. When she starts this stuff,

we pretty much clear out of the room and wait till it

passes. It has nothing to do with discipline or OT

issues. I truly do think the doc hit it right on the

head when he diagnosed her rapid cycling bipolar

because once he gave her the meds for that, it has

pretty much gone away. She no longer gets violent.

She will still say a few bad things (I hate you, I'm

running away..I'm going to hurt myself) but it is all

talk. She may just cry. It has gotten so much

better. Sometimes the hardest thing is just figuring

out what in the world it is. The only thing that

helps is applying the RIGHT solution to the problem

(OT stuff helps an OT issue, discipline helps a

discipline issue, MOOD STABILIZERS help rapid

cycling!) If you guess wrong on what is causing it

the wrong solution does nothing at all except make it

all worse. If your doctor is right hopefully your son

will improve with the right help!

Kaye

--- <hunebear3@...> wrote:

> Kaye,

>

> You hit the nail on the head! There's not dealing

> with him once he has

> gotten to this point. I have to just send him to

> his room and leave

> him alone. About 50 percent of the time he will

> come and say he is

> sorry, but he is without remorse or guilt so I'm not

> sure what exactly

> is going through his mind. I do talk to him about

> it and he says he

> understands and does not know why he says those

> things... but then the

> next time we have a " spell " it's the same thing all

> over! The doctor

> is concerned that these mood swings could be Bi

> Polar... we are hoping

> to see about that on the 6th of August when we meet

> with the

> Development Pediatrician. She's the best locally

> and is the Autism

> Specialist at the Children's hospital!!

>

> BTW... we use the term " out of his frickin mind "

> too!!! LOL Gave my DH

> and I a good laugh this morning because it's great

> to see that other

> people think this stuff too!

>

> Jackie

> On Jul 28, 2007, at 10:55 PM, Kaye Bates wrote:

>

> > Jackie, does it seem like your kid just suddenly

> flips

> > when he does that? You just described my kid

> > perfectly. It almost seems like she gets in these

> > times when she is what we call, out of her frickin

> > mind. Truly. She is not rational, you cannot

> calm

> > her down, you cannot distract her or talk her out

> of

> > it. You just have to wait for it to pass. Then

> later

> > on, when she is in her " right mind " she will cry

> and

> > say she is sorry and she doesn't know why she did

> it.

> > She knows it is wrong later on, but at the time is

> not

> > able to see anything wrong with what she is doing

> or

> > saying and not able to stop herself.

> >

> > Kaye

> >

> > --- <hunebear3@...>

> wrote:

> >

> >> HI there,

> >>

> >> My son uses inappropriate words when he is upset

> or

> >> just plain mad.

> >> For instance if one of his sisters gets on his

> >> nerves and he's to the

> >> point that he just can't take it anymore he tells

> me

> >> that " One day I " m

> >> just going to kill them " ! It's very un-nerving

> to

> >> hear words like

> >> this from a 10 year old. When he is having a

> >> meltdown he will also

> >> tell me that I hate him and don't love him and

> that

> >> he wishes he were

> >> dead. We are now in the process of having his

> >> medication evaluated to

> >> see if he is on the right ones. I do tell him

> once

> >> he has calmed down

> >> that those are not appropriate words and he tells

> me

> >> that he knows that

> >> and he just said them because he was so mad. We

> are

> >> also working on

> >> learning some self calming techniques but are not

> >> having much luck so

> >> far!

> >>

> >> Jackie

> >> On Jul 24, 2007, at 2:50 PM, spencercg wrote:

> >>

> >>> Hi,

> >>> I don't post often (too busy!), but have been

> >> having difficulty with

> >>> my 10 year old son (PDD-NOS), who is home for

> the

> >> summer. The

> >>> beginning of the summer was great - he worked in

> >> the yard for hours

> >>> (he loves to weed!), and lined up jobs for

> >> neighbors. The jobs have

> >>> petered out, he's participated somewhat

> >> successfully in a morning

> >>> camp last week (he can either keep himself

> pulled

> >> together or he can

> >>> have a friend, and we chose to let him be in a

> >> group with a friend

> >>> for the week - I know he needs friends, but it

> is

> >> hard to watch him

> >>> self-sabotage behaviorally because he thinks it

> >> impresses the

> >>> friend.) Almost our whole family participated

> in

> >> the day camp (I

> >>> direct it), so chores slid, and we've had a hard

> >> time pulling

> >>> everyone back into our usual routine. My son

> has

> >> resisted going back

> >>> into the routine pretty hard, and last night,

> >> refused to set the

> >>> table unless I bought him chocolate, which I

> >> wasn't going to do (I

> >>> never do give in to these unreasonable requests,

> >> but he hasn't

> >>> learned this, another frustration since

> eventually

> >> his brother and

> >>> sister learned it!) I gave him the choice of

> >> setting the table or

> >>> spending the rest of the evening in his room (he

> >> was back-talking

> >>> pretty badly). After 5 minutes in his room he

> >> stomped upstairs,

> >>> saying " I forgot something. " I told him to get

> it

> >> and go back down.

> >>> He said, " I forgot the butcher knife! " I told

> him

> >> that was

> >>> inappropriate, and that he needed to get back to

> >> his room and stay

> >>> there. He stomped down the stairs shouting, " I

> >> hate you! I hate

> >>> myself! " Later his brother took down a peanut

> >> butter sandwich for

> >>> his dinner, and he remained in his room.

> >>>

> >>> This really unnerved me because, a couple of

> >> months ago he was upset

> >>> with his sister and went and got his pocket

> knife

> >> and threatened her

> >>> with it. Needless to say, he lost the pocket

> >> knife. I think he did

> >>> this last night to get a rise out of me, but he

> >> really does know what

> >>> buttons to push. We've been working since the

> >> earlier situation with

> >>> his sister to get him back into therapy (he

> moved

> >> from therapy to a

> >>> social skills group 2 years ago), and can't get

> >> our psych clinic to

> >>> understand how urgent we feel the situation has

> >> become (we have to be

> >>> assigned a new psych, since ours has moved on).

> >>>

> >>> I'd really appreciate words of encouragement or

> >> your prayers!

> >>>

> >>> cindy

> >>> mother of 3 (son, 15, typically developing;

> >> daughter 12, typically

> >>> developing; son, 10, PDD-NOS)

> >>>

July 29, 2007

Jackie, that's interesting that your doc mentioned

the bipolar mood swings. We just found out this

summer that Karissa is a " rapid cycler " on the mood

swing thing. So now she takes mood stabilizers and it

is a whole lot better. The thing is, the times she

gets this way, it is just like a sudden flip

(everything is calm, nothing happened to set her

off)...It is just a sudden flip for no apparent

reason. Since you never saw it coming in the first

place, you can do nothing to head it off. When it is

one of these true mood flip things, she is like she is

on a dirge. Very negative talking. If you try to

calm her, she escalates. When she starts this stuff,

we pretty much clear out of the room and wait till it

passes. It has nothing to do with discipline or OT

issues. I truly do think the doc hit it right on the

head when he diagnosed her rapid cycling bipolar

because once he gave her the meds for that, it has

pretty much gone away. She no longer gets violent.

She will still say a few bad things (I hate you, I'm

running away..I'm going to hurt myself) but it is all

talk. She may just cry. It has gotten so much

better. Sometimes the hardest thing is just figuring

out what in the world it is. The only thing that

helps is applying the RIGHT solution to the problem

(OT stuff helps an OT issue, discipline helps a

discipline issue, MOOD STABILIZERS help rapid

cycling!) If you guess wrong on what is causing it

the wrong solution does nothing at all except make it

all worse. If your doctor is right hopefully your son

will improve with the right help!

Kaye

--- <hunebear3@...> wrote:

> Kaye,

>

> You hit the nail on the head! There's not dealing

> with him once he has

> gotten to this point. I have to just send him to

> his room and leave

> him alone. About 50 percent of the time he will

> come and say he is

> sorry, but he is without remorse or guilt so I'm not

> sure what exactly

> is going through his mind. I do talk to him about

> it and he says he

> understands and does not know why he says those

> things... but then the

> next time we have a " spell " it's the same thing all

> over! The doctor

> is concerned that these mood swings could be Bi

> Polar... we are hoping

> to see about that on the 6th of August when we meet

> with the

> Development Pediatrician. She's the best locally

> and is the Autism

> Specialist at the Children's hospital!!

>

> BTW... we use the term " out of his frickin mind "

> too!!! LOL Gave my DH

> and I a good laugh this morning because it's great

> to see that other

> people think this stuff too!

>

> Jackie

> On Jul 28, 2007, at 10:55 PM, Kaye Bates wrote:

>

> > Jackie, does it seem like your kid just suddenly

> flips

> > when he does that? You just described my kid

> > perfectly. It almost seems like she gets in these

> > times when she is what we call, out of her frickin

> > mind. Truly. She is not rational, you cannot

> calm

> > her down, you cannot distract her or talk her out

> of

> > it. You just have to wait for it to pass. Then

> later

> > on, when she is in her " right mind " she will cry

> and

> > say she is sorry and she doesn't know why she did

> it.

> > She knows it is wrong later on, but at the time is

> not

> > able to see anything wrong with what she is doing

> or

> > saying and not able to stop herself.

> >

> > Kaye

> >

> > --- <hunebear3@...>

> wrote:

> >

> >> HI there,

> >>

> >> My son uses inappropriate words when he is upset

> or

> >> just plain mad.

> >> For instance if one of his sisters gets on his

> >> nerves and he's to the

> >> point that he just can't take it anymore he tells

> me

> >> that " One day I " m

> >> just going to kill them " ! It's very un-nerving

> to

> >> hear words like

> >> this from a 10 year old. When he is having a

> >> meltdown he will also

> >> tell me that I hate him and don't love him and

> that

> >> he wishes he were

> >> dead. We are now in the process of having his

> >> medication evaluated to

> >> see if he is on the right ones. I do tell him

> once

> >> he has calmed down

> >> that those are not appropriate words and he tells

> me

> >> that he knows that

> >> and he just said them because he was so mad. We

> are

> >> also working on

> >> learning some self calming techniques but are not

> >> having much luck so

> >> far!

> >>

> >> Jackie

> >> On Jul 24, 2007, at 2:50 PM, spencercg wrote:

> >>

> >>> Hi,

> >>> I don't post often (too busy!), but have been

> >> having difficulty with

> >>> my 10 year old son (PDD-NOS), who is home for

> the

> >> summer. The

> >>> beginning of the summer was great - he worked in

> >> the yard for hours

> >>> (he loves to weed!), and lined up jobs for

> >> neighbors. The jobs have

> >>> petered out, he's participated somewhat

> >> successfully in a morning

> >>> camp last week (he can either keep himself

> pulled

> >> together or he can

> >>> have a friend, and we chose to let him be in a

> >> group with a friend

> >>> for the week - I know he needs friends, but it

> is

> >> hard to watch him

> >>> self-sabotage behaviorally because he thinks it

> >> impresses the

> >>> friend.) Almost our whole family participated

> in

> >> the day camp (I

> >>> direct it), so chores slid, and we've had a hard

> >> time pulling

> >>> everyone back into our usual routine. My son

> has

> >> resisted going back

> >>> into the routine pretty hard, and last night,

> >> refused to set the

> >>> table unless I bought him chocolate, which I

> >> wasn't going to do (I

> >>> never do give in to these unreasonable requests,

> >> but he hasn't

> >>> learned this, another frustration since

> eventually

> >> his brother and

> >>> sister learned it!) I gave him the choice of

> >> setting the table or

> >>> spending the rest of the evening in his room (he

> >> was back-talking

> >>> pretty badly). After 5 minutes in his room he

> >> stomped upstairs,

> >>> saying " I forgot something. " I told him to get

> it

> >> and go back down.

> >>> He said, " I forgot the butcher knife! " I told

> him

> >> that was

> >>> inappropriate, and that he needed to get back to

> >> his room and stay

> >>> there. He stomped down the stairs shouting, " I

> >> hate you! I hate

> >>> myself! " Later his brother took down a peanut

> >> butter sandwich for

> >>> his dinner, and he remained in his room.

> >>>

> >>> This really unnerved me because, a couple of

> >> months ago he was upset

> >>> with his sister and went and got his pocket

> knife

> >> and threatened her

> >>> with it. Needless to say, he lost the pocket

> >> knife. I think he did

> >>> this last night to get a rise out of me, but he

> >> really does know what

> >>> buttons to push. We've been working since the

> >> earlier situation with

> >>> his sister to get him back into therapy (he

> moved

> >> from therapy to a

> >>> social skills group 2 years ago), and can't get

> >> our psych clinic to

> >>> understand how urgent we feel the situation has

> >> become (we have to be

> >>> assigned a new psych, since ours has moved on).

> >>>

> >>> I'd really appreciate words of encouragement or

> >> your prayers!

> >>>

> >>> cindy

> >>> mother of 3 (son, 15, typically developing;

> >> daughter 12, typically

> >>> developing; son, 10, PDD-NOS)

> >>>

July 30, 2007

One idea to consider is teaching him the words that he can use when he is really angry. Another idea is to work on teaching him to rate his anger. With my ds, he has two speeds - super and high. He needs to learn not to go ballistic over small issues, what is a small issue, and ways to handle situations so he doesn't have to threaten to kill people to feel better. I think a lot of my own ds's problem(s) is he has no "self-regulation" ability. It's like his thermostat is broken so even if he's only stubbed his toe, for instance, he can cry and wail as if he broke his arm. It is still a huge problem with him.

RoxannaAutism Happens

Re: ( ) aggressive speech/behavior

HI there,My son uses inappropriate words when he is upset or just plain mad. For instance if one of his sisters gets on his nerves and he's to the point that he just can't take it anymore he tells me that "One day I"m just going to kill them" ! It's very un-nerving to hear words like this from a 10 year old. When he is having a meltdown he will also tell me that I hate him and don't love him and that he wishes he were dead. We are now in the process of having his medication evaluated to see if he is on the right ones. I do tell him once he has calmed down that those are not appropriate words and he tells me that he knows that and he just said them because he was so mad. We are also working on learning some self calming techniques but are not having much luck so far!JackieOn Jul 24, 2007, at 2:50 PM, spencercg wrote:> Hi,> I don't post often (too busy!), but have been having difficulty with> my 10 year old son (PDD-NOS), who is home for the summer. The> beginning of the summer was great - he worked in the yard for hours> (he loves to weed!), and lined up jobs for neighbors. The jobs have> petered out, he's participated somewhat successfully in a morning> camp last week (he can either keep himself pulled together or he can> have a friend, and we chose to let him be in a group with a friend> for the week - I know he needs friends, but it is hard to watch him> self-sabotage behaviorally because he thinks it impresses the> friend.) Almost our whole family participated in the day camp (I> direct it), so chores slid, and we've had a hard time pulling> everyone back into our usual routine. My son has resisted going back> into the routine pretty hard, and last night, refused to set the> table unless I bought him chocolate, which I wasn't going to do (I> never do give in to these unreasonable requests, but he hasn't> learned this, another frustration since eventually his brother and> sister learned it!) I gave him the choice of setting the table or> spending the rest of the evening in his room (he was back-talking> pretty badly). After 5 minutes in his room he stomped upstairs,> saying "I forgot something." I told him to get it and go back down.> He said, "I forgot the butcher knife!" I told him that was> inappropriate, and that he needed to get back to his room and stay> there. He stomped down the stairs shouting, "I hate you! I hate> myself!" Later his brother took down a peanut butter sandwich for> his dinner, and he remained in his room.>> This really unnerved me because, a couple of months ago he was upset> with his sister and went and got his pocket knife and threatened her> with it. Needless to say, he lost the pocket knife. I think he did> this last night to get a rise out of me, but he really does know what> buttons to push. We've been working since the earlier situation with> his sister to get him back into therapy (he moved from therapy to a> social skills group 2 years ago), and can't get our psych clinic to> understand how urgent we feel the situation has become (we have to be> assigned a new psych, since ours has moved on).>> I'd really appreciate words of encouragement or your prayers!>> cindy> mother of 3 (son, 15, typically developing; daughter 12, typically> developing; son, 10, PDD-NOS)>>>>

July 30, 2007

I Love what you said...

If you guess wrong on what is causing itthe wrong solution does nothing at all except make itall worse.

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: ( ) aggressive speech/behavior

Jackie, that's interesting that your doc mentionedthe bipolar mood swings. We just found out thissummer that Karissa is a "rapid cycler" on the moodswing thing. So now she takes mood stabilizers and itis a whole lot better. The thing is, the times shegets this way, it is just like a sudden flip(everything is calm, nothing happened to set heroff)...It is just a sudden flip for no apparentreason. Since you never saw it coming in the firstplace, you can do nothing to head it off. When it isone of these true mood flip things, she is like she ison a dirge. Very negative talking. If you try tocalm her, she escalates. When she starts this stuff,we pretty much clear out of the room and wait till itpasses. It has nothing to do with discipline or OTissues. I truly do think the doc hit it right on thehead when he diagnosed her rapid cycling bipolarbecause once he gave her the meds for that, it haspretty much gone away. She no longer gets violent. She will still say a few bad things (I hate you, I'mrunning away..I'm going to hurt myself) but it is alltalk. She may just cry. It has gotten so muchbetter. Sometimes the hardest thing is just figuringout what in the world it is. The only thing thathelps is applying the RIGHT solution to the problem(OT stuff helps an OT issue, discipline helps adiscipline issue, MOOD STABILIZERS help rapidcycling!) If you guess wrong on what is causing itthe wrong solution does nothing at all except make itall worse. If your doctor is right hopefully your sonwill improve with the right help!Kaye--- <hunebear3comcast (DOT) net> wrote:> Kaye,> > You hit the nail on the head! There's not dealing> with him once he has > gotten to this point. I have to just send him to> his room and leave > him alone. About 50 percent of the time he will> come and say he is > sorry, but he is without remorse or guilt so I'm not> sure what exactly > is going through his mind. I do talk to him about> it and he says he > understands and does not know why he says those> things... but then the > next time we have a "spell" it's the same thing all> over! The doctor > is concerned that these mood swings could be Bi> Polar... we are hoping > to see about that on the 6th of August when we meet> with the > Development Pediatrician. She's the best locally> and is the Autism > Specialist at the Children's hospital!!> > BTW... we use the term "out of his frickin mind"> too!!! LOL Gave my DH > and I a good laugh this morning because it's great> to see that other > people think this stuff too!> > Jackie> On Jul 28, 2007, at 10:55 PM, Kaye Bates wrote:> > > Jackie, does it seem like your kid just suddenly> flips> > when he does that? You just described my kid> > perfectly. It almost seems like she gets in these> > times when she is what we call, out of her frickin> > mind. Truly. She is not rational, you cannot> calm> > her down, you cannot distract her or talk her out> of> > it. You just have to wait for it to pass. Then> later> > on, when she is in her "right mind" she will cry> and> > say she is sorry and she doesn't know why she did> it.> > She knows it is wrong later on, but at the time is> not> > able to see anything wrong with what she is doing> or> > saying and not able to stop herself.> >> > Kaye> >> > --- <hunebear3comcast (DOT) net>> wrote:> >> >> HI there,> >>> >> My son uses inappropriate words when he is upset> or> >> just plain mad.> >> For instance if one of his sisters gets on his> >> nerves and he's to the> >> point that he just can't take it anymore he tells> me> >> that "One day I"m> >> just going to kill them" ! It's very un-nerving> to> >> hear words like> >> this from a 10 year old. When he is having a> >> meltdown he will also> >> tell me that I hate him and don't love him and> that> >> he wishes he were> >> dead. We are now in the process of having his> >> medication evaluated to> >> see if he is on the right ones. I do tell him> once> >> he has calmed down> >> that those are not appropriate words and he tells> me> >> that he knows that> >> and he just said them because he was so mad. We> are> >> also working on> >> learning some self calming techniques but are not> >> having much luck so> >> far!> >>> >> Jackie> >> On Jul 24, 2007, at 2:50 PM, spencercg wrote:> >>> >>> Hi,> >>> I don't post often (too busy!), but have been> >> having difficulty with> >>> my 10 year old son (PDD-NOS), who is home for> the> >> summer. The> >>> beginning of the summer was great - he worked in> >> the yard for hours> >>> (he loves to weed!), and lined up jobs for> >> neighbors. The jobs have> >>> petered out, he's participated somewhat> >> successfully in a morning> >>> camp last week (he can either keep himself> pulled> >> together or he can> >>> have a friend, and we chose to let him be in a> >> group with a friend> >>> for the week - I know he needs friends, but it> is> >> hard to watch him> >>> self-sabotage behaviorally because he thinks it> >> impresses the> >>> friend.) Almost our whole family participated> in> >> the day camp (I> >>> direct it), so chores slid, and we've had a hard> >> time pulling> >>> everyone back into our usual routine. My son> has> >> resisted going back> >>> into the routine pretty hard, and last night,> >> refused to set the> >>> table unless I bought him chocolate, which I> >> wasn't going to do (I> >>> never do give in to these unreasonable requests,> >> but he hasn't> >>> learned this, another frustration since> eventually> >> his brother and> >>> sister learned it!) I gave him the choice of> >> setting the table or> >>> spending the rest of the evening in his room (he> >> was back-talking> >>> pretty badly). After 5 minutes in his room he> >> stomped upstairs,> >>> saying "I forgot something." I told him to get> it> >> and go back down.> >>> He said, "I forgot the butcher knife!" I told> him> >> that was> >>> inappropriate, and that he needed to get back to> >> his room and stay> >>> there. He stomped down the stairs shouting, "I> >> hate you! I hate> >>> myself!" Later his brother took down a peanut> >> butter sandwich for> >>> his dinner, and he remained in his room.> >>>> >>> This really unnerved me because, a couple of> >> months ago he was upset> >>> with his sister and went and got his pocket> knife> >> and threatened her> >>> with it. Needless to say, he lost the pocket> >> knife. I think he did> >>> this last night to get a rise out of me, but he> >> really does know what> >>> buttons to push. We've been working since the> >> earlier situation with> >>> his sister to get him back into therapy (he> moved> >> from therapy to a> >>> social skills group 2 years ago), and can't get> >> our psych clinic to> >>> understand how urgent we feel the situation has> >> become (we have to be> >>> assigned a new psych, since ours has moved on).> >>>> >>> I'd really appreciate words of encouragement or> >> your prayers!> >>>> >>> cindy> >>> mother of 3 (son, 15, typically developing;> >> daughter 12, typically> >>> developing; son, 10, PDD-NOS)> >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>

July 30, 2007

I'll look for this Kid Yoga video and see if will like it...

I'll have my MIL check at the library where she works tomorrow! We

don't have Sprout so that can't help us! LOL

Thanks for the info.

Jackie

On Jul 29, 2007, at 12:36 PM, Dee DiMemmo wrote:

> There is a yoga video called kid yoga that I got out from the library

> its very basic and doesn't require a lot of flexibility. Also on the

> channel Sprout, they do yoga every night. It helps that I do a daily

> dozen of yoga postures everyday & DS sees that.

> FitTV has a show Namaste Yoga but a lot of the episodes are for more

> advanced practicitioners and might be frustrating

>

> <hunebear3@...> wrote:

>> We have tried breathing techniques and a weighted lap pad... problem

>> is

>> he doesn't get that he needs to do these things BEFORE he explodes!

>> I'm working on it but it's a slow process. Yoga was just suggested to

>> us at our first OT appt on Friday. is a sensory seeker and he

>> enjoys deep pressure and having his joints, muscles stretched... so we

>> are on the lookout for a Yoga DVD that he can work on!

>>

>> Great ideas!

>>

>> Jackie

>> On Jul 29, 2007, at 7:09 AM, Dee DiMemmo wrote:

>>

>> > Have you tried kid yoga? Or breathing techniques? What about a

>> > weighted vest or blanket? Pressure point massage?

>> >

>> > wrote:HI there,

>> >>

>> >> My son uses inappropriate words when he is upset or just plain mad.

>> >> For instance if one of his sisters gets on his nerves and he's to

>> the

>> >> point that he just can't take it anymore he tells me that " One day

>> I " m

>> >> just going to kill them " ! It's very un-nerving to hear words like

>> >> this from a 10 year old. When he is having a meltdown he will also

>> >> tell me that I hate him and don't love him and that he wishes he

>> were

>> >> dead. We are now in the process of having his medication evaluated

>> to

>> >> see if he is on the right ones. I do tell him once he has calmed

>> down

>> >> that those are not appropriate words and he tells me that he knows

>> >> that

>> >> and he just said them because he was so mad. We are also working on

>> >> learning some self calming techniques but are not having much luck

>> so

>> >> far!

>> >>

>> >> Jackie

>> >> On Jul 24, 2007, at 2:50 PM, spencercg wrote:

>> >>

>> >> > Hi,

>> >> > I don't post often (too busy!), but have been having difficulty

>> with

>> >> > my 10 year old son (PDD-NOS), who is home for the summer. The

>> >> > beginning of the summer was great - he worked in the yard for

>> hours

>> >> > (he loves to weed!), and lined up jobs for neighbors. The jobs

>> have

>> >> > petered out, he's participated somewhat successfully in a morning

>> >> > camp last week (he can either keep himself pulled together or he

>> can

>> >> > have a friend, and we chose to let him be in a group with a

>> friend

>> >> > for the week - I know he needs friends, but it is hard to watch

>> him

>> >> > self-sabotage behaviorally because he thinks it impresses the

>> >> > friend.) Almost our whole family participated in the day camp (I

>> >> > direct it), so chores slid, and we've had a hard time pulling

>> >> > everyone back into our usual routine. My son has resisted going

>> back

>> >> > into the routine pretty hard, and last night, refused to set the

>> >> > table unless I bought him chocolate, which I wasn't going to do

>> (I

>> >> > never do give in to these unreasonable requests, but he hasn't

>> >> > learned this, another frustration since eventually his brother

>> and

>> >> > sister learned it!) I gave him the choice of setting the table or

>> >> > spending the rest of the evening in his room (he was back-talking

>> >> > pretty badly). After 5 minutes in his room he stomped upstairs,

>> >> > saying " I forgot something. " I told him to get it and go back

>> down.

>> >> > He said, " I forgot the butcher knife! " I told him that was

>> >> > inappropriate, and that he needed to get back to his room and

>> stay

>> >> > there. He stomped down the stairs shouting, " I hate you! I hate

>> >> > myself! " Later his brother took down a peanut butter sandwich for

>> >> > his dinner, and he remained in his room.

>> >> >

>> >> > This really unnerved me because, a couple of months ago he was

>> upset

>> >> > with his sister and went and got his pocket knife and threatened

>> her

>> >> > with it. Needless to say, he lost the pocket knife. I think he

>> did

>> >> > this last night to get a rise out of me, but he really does know

>> >> what

>> >> > buttons to push. We've been working since the earlier situation

>> with

>> >> > his sister to get him back into therapy (he moved from therapy

>> to a

>> >> > social skills group 2 years ago), and can't get our psych clinic

>> to

>> >> > understand how urgent we feel the situation has become (we have

>> to

>> >> be

>> >> > assigned a new psych, since ours has moved on).

>> >> >

>> >> > I'd really appreciate words of encouragement or your prayers!

>> >> >

>> >> > cindy

>> >> > mother of 3 (son, 15, typically developing; daughter 12,

>> typically

>> >> > developing; son, 10, PDD-NOS)

>> >> >

July 30, 2007

Kaye,

Sometimes has what the Doctor calls " Unprovoked " mood swings...

which are exactly what you are describing.. these " bad " mood swings

that come out of no where! No amount of rationalizing to him can calm

him down and he actually then begins to see it as an insult to him...

" why are you always making me be the in trouble " ! He takes Prozac in

the morning for his anxiety and depression and he started taking

Respridal at night about 4 months ago for his angriness and for impulse

control. The new doctor which has NOT seen my son yet... she was part

of a research study that I was participating in at the Children's

Hospital suggested to me that his medicines could quite possibly be

working against each other and that is why I am still seeing these

breakthrough mood swings. Granted the medicine has helped A TON, but I

would prefer if these spells did not exist at all. I know the

Respirdal is working wonders because he didn't take it one night last

week and he was just awful the next day. Such an angry mess... very

aggressive toward his sisters AND me... He has not been aggressive

with me since he began the medicine. He has only acted like he was

going to hit me and he's pushed me a bit, but that's as far as it gets

with me. He shoved his sisters down and then hit one of them with the

broom!!! SCARY!! So as you can imagine I was happy when I got the

phone call on friday telling me that I had an appointment with this new

doctor. She's a developmental pediatrician who specializes in Autism

Spectrum Disorder patients. Her waiting list is at least 6 months

long... but after meeting me and talking about my son during the

research study she had him put on her urgent list and now we have our

appt on the 6th!

Funny thing though is the Respirdal is the meds that I wanted to take

him off of... but if he truly is Bi polar that is the one they will

keep him on. I know exactly what you mean about finding the " RIGHT "

solution to the problem because the " wrong " one will just set him over

the edge! I do think some of his problems are that he has a hard time

regulating his senses and he just gets overloaded and can't figure it

out... that's when he cries and whimpers and stomps around like a 2

year old!

I hope this appt will set us on the right track and we can get him

stabilized! Thanks Kaye for your comments and help!

Jackie

On Jul 29, 2007, at 4:13 PM, Kaye Bates wrote:

> Jackie, that's interesting that your doc mentioned

> the bipolar mood swings. We just found out this

> summer that Karissa is a " rapid cycler " on the mood

> swing thing. So now she takes mood stabilizers and it

> is a whole lot better. The thing is, the times she

> gets this way, it is just like a sudden flip

> (everything is calm, nothing happened to set her

> off)...It is just a sudden flip for no apparent

> reason. Since you never saw it coming in the first

> place, you can do nothing to head it off. When it is

> one of these true mood flip things, she is like she is

> on a dirge. Very negative talking. If you try to

> calm her, she escalates. When she starts this stuff,

> we pretty much clear out of the room and wait till it

> passes. It has nothing to do with discipline or OT

> issues. I truly do think the doc hit it right on the

> head when he diagnosed her rapid cycling bipolar

> because once he gave her the meds for that, it has

> pretty much gone away. She no longer gets violent.

> She will still say a few bad things (I hate you, I'm

> running away..I'm going to hurt myself) but it is all

> talk. She may just cry. It has gotten so much

> better. Sometimes the hardest thing is just figuring

> out what in the world it is. The only thing that

> helps is applying the RIGHT solution to the problem

> (OT stuff helps an OT issue, discipline helps a

> discipline issue, MOOD STABILIZERS help rapid

> cycling!) If you guess wrong on what is causing it

> the wrong solution does nothing at all except make it

> all worse. If your doctor is right hopefully your son

> will improve with the right help!

>

> Kaye

>

> --- <hunebear3@...> wrote:

>

>> Kaye,

>>

>> You hit the nail on the head! There's not dealing

>> with him once he has

>> gotten to this point. I have to just send him to

>> his room and leave

>> him alone. About 50 percent of the time he will

>> come and say he is

>> sorry, but he is without remorse or guilt so I'm not

>> sure what exactly

>> is going through his mind. I do talk to him about

>> it and he says he

>> understands and does not know why he says those

>> things... but then the

>> next time we have a " spell " it's the same thing all

>> over! The doctor

>> is concerned that these mood swings could be Bi

>> Polar... we are hoping

>> to see about that on the 6th of August when we meet

>> with the

>> Development Pediatrician. She's the best locally

>> and is the Autism

>> Specialist at the Children's hospital!!

>>

>> BTW... we use the term " out of his frickin mind "

>> too!!! LOL Gave my DH

>> and I a good laugh this morning because it's great

>> to see that other

>> people think this stuff too!

>>

>> Jackie

>> On Jul 28, 2007, at 10:55 PM, Kaye Bates wrote:

>>

>>> Jackie, does it seem like your kid just suddenly

>> flips

>>> when he does that? You just described my kid

>>> perfectly. It almost seems like she gets in these

>>> times when she is what we call, out of her frickin

>>> mind. Truly. She is not rational, you cannot

>> calm

>>> her down, you cannot distract her or talk her out

>> of

>>> it. You just have to wait for it to pass. Then

>> later

>>> on, when she is in her " right mind " she will cry

>> and

>>> say she is sorry and she doesn't know why she did

>> it.

>>> She knows it is wrong later on, but at the time is

>> not

>>> able to see anything wrong with what she is doing

>> or

>>> saying and not able to stop herself.

>>>

>>> Kaye

>>>

>>> --- <hunebear3@...>

>> wrote:

>>>

>>>> HI there,

>>>>

>>>> My son uses inappropriate words when he is upset

>> or

>>>> just plain mad.

>>>> For instance if one of his sisters gets on his

>>>> nerves and he's to the

>>>> point that he just can't take it anymore he tells

>> me

>>>> that " One day I " m

>>>> just going to kill them " ! It's very un-nerving

>> to

>>>> hear words like

>>>> this from a 10 year old. When he is having a

>>>> meltdown he will also

>>>> tell me that I hate him and don't love him and

>> that

>>>> he wishes he were

>>>> dead. We are now in the process of having his

>>>> medication evaluated to

>>>> see if he is on the right ones. I do tell him

>> once

>>>> he has calmed down

>>>> that those are not appropriate words and he tells

>> me

>>>> that he knows that

>>>> and he just said them because he was so mad. We

>> are

>>>> also working on

>>>> learning some self calming techniques but are not

>>>> having much luck so

>>>> far!

>>>>

>>>> Jackie

>>>> On Jul 24, 2007, at 2:50 PM, spencercg wrote:

>>>>

>>>>> Hi,

>>>>> I don't post often (too busy!), but have been

>>>> having difficulty with

>>>>> my 10 year old son (PDD-NOS), who is home for

>> the

>>>> summer. The

>>>>> beginning of the summer was great - he worked in

>>>> the yard for hours

>>>>> (he loves to weed!), and lined up jobs for

>>>> neighbors. The jobs have

>>>>> petered out, he's participated somewhat

>>>> successfully in a morning

>>>>> camp last week (he can either keep himself

>> pulled

>>>> together or he can

>>>>> have a friend, and we chose to let him be in a

>>>> group with a friend

>>>>> for the week - I know he needs friends, but it

>> is

>>>> hard to watch him

>>>>> self-sabotage behaviorally because he thinks it

>>>> impresses the

>>>>> friend.) Almost our whole family participated

>> in

>>>> the day camp (I

>>>>> direct it), so chores slid, and we've had a hard

>>>> time pulling

>>>>> everyone back into our usual routine. My son

>> has

>>>> resisted going back

>>>>> into the routine pretty hard, and last night,

>>>> refused to set the

>>>>> table unless I bought him chocolate, which I

>>>> wasn't going to do (I

>>>>> never do give in to these unreasonable requests,

>>>> but he hasn't

>>>>> learned this, another frustration since

>> eventually

>>>> his brother and

>>>>> sister learned it!) I gave him the choice of

>>>> setting the table or

>>>>> spending the rest of the evening in his room (he

>>>> was back-talking

>>>>> pretty badly). After 5 minutes in his room he

>>>> stomped upstairs,

>>>>> saying " I forgot something. " I told him to get

>> it

>>>> and go back down.

>>>>> He said, " I forgot the butcher knife! " I told

>> him

>>>> that was

>>>>> inappropriate, and that he needed to get back to

>>>> his room and stay

>>>>> there. He stomped down the stairs shouting, " I

>>>> hate you! I hate

>>>>> myself! " Later his brother took down a peanut

>>>> butter sandwich for

>>>>> his dinner, and he remained in his room.

>>>>>

>>>>> This really unnerved me because, a couple of

>>>> months ago he was upset

>>>>> with his sister and went and got his pocket

>> knife

>>>> and threatened her

>>>>> with it. Needless to say, he lost the pocket

>>>> knife. I think he did

>>>>> this last night to get a rise out of me, but he

>>>> really does know what

>>>>> buttons to push. We've been working since the

>>>> earlier situation with

>>>>> his sister to get him back into therapy (he

>> moved

>>>> from therapy to a

>>>>> social skills group 2 years ago), and can't get

>>>> our psych clinic to

>>>>> understand how urgent we feel the situation has

>>>> become (we have to be

>>>>> assigned a new psych, since ours has moved on).

>>>>>

>>>>> I'd really appreciate words of encouragement or

>>>> your prayers!

>>>>>

>>>>> cindy

>>>>> mother of 3 (son, 15, typically developing;

>>>> daughter 12, typically

>>>>> developing; son, 10, PDD-NOS)

>>>>>

July 30, 2007

I have always used modeling to teach my children the language skills

they know... that's probably why they are all so smart! LOL I do

consistently model the appropriate phrases that should be used... such

as " will you please leave my room, I want to be alone " but it's

like when he's in one of THOSE moods all rational thinking goes out the

window! My son also works on super and super high speed, there's

really not an in between with him either... my 4 year old is the same

way... she's either happy or pissed!!

My son most definitely needs to learn to walk away from the tiny things

and just focus on the things that HE can change. He's my " enforcer "

and he gets so ticked if everyone is not following the rules and he

will just fall to pcs! I am constantly telling him The rules of the

house and letting him know that I am the one in control. My son does

not have a self regulation ability either and he does the same thing as

your son. It's really odd how much he does over react to everything.

I was told at our OT eval on friday that is a Sensory Seeker

and suffers from Sensory Regulation Disorder. He will be getting OT

services to help with these issues and I have been given a " heavy duty "

work list for him so that he can get some of that extra energy out...

Supposedly that will help him to learn how to regulate his reactions

and emotions to things.

Jackie

On Jul 29, 2007, at 9:33 PM, Roxanna wrote:

> One idea to consider is teaching him the words that he can use when he

> is really angry. Another idea is to work on teaching him to rate his

> anger. With my ds, he has two speeds - super and high. He needs to

> learn not to go ballistic over small issues, what is a small issue,

> and ways to handle situations so he doesn't have to threaten to kill

> people to feel better. I think a lot of my own ds's problem(s) is he

> has no " self-regulation " ability. It's like his thermostat is broken

> so even if he's only stubbed his toe, for instance, he can cry and

> wail as if he broke his arm. It is still a huge problem with him.

>

> Roxanna

> Autism Happens

>> Re: ( ) aggressive speech/behavior