Re: Re: I Do Not Have Asperger's!!! to Jackie

July 11, 2007

I know as a parent of a child with AS that I am going to have to be

more disciplined myself! It's just so hard because one minute you are

talking to an intelligient child and then next it's like talking to a 2

year old!! I need to be more consistent about " teaching " things to

. We do talk about things after he has settled down and I think

he realizes that he can do something different, but that's as far as we

get. Right now we are trying to teach him that doing some wrong and

then saying sorry doesn't fix the problem especially when he continues

to do the same thing. My husband gets so infuriated with this!!

say's " sorry " because he was taught to apologize for things,

but now it's used for everything!!

I don't know if the sib fighting is normal or not... it all seems a bit

extreme for it be normal fighting! Then again... I may worry too much!

LOL My youngest may be on the spectrum too and it's usually

and her that are clashing. My middle child is NT and she is just stuck

in the middle of the two of them! Don't get me wrong she does her fair

share!! LOL Can't wait for school to start again... some peace and

quiet at least! HA HA HA!!!

Jackie

On Jul 11, 2007, at 3:16 PM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:

> We've been very blunt with Ian about what issues he has ,and will

> have, because of Aspergers. He knows he's smart because of it.

> He knows that he's always going to have to work at being social. He

> wants friends and yet as the same time,,,,could care a less.

> When I catch him doing something " correctly " ,,,,,we chat about it and

> I know I go overboard with the praise,,,,,but I give it until I can't

> stop. When he does something very annoying.....like when he says

> things over and over and over and over or screams and shouts wierd

> things at the pool...........it's really embarrassing for him....or

> should I say, should be embarrassing for him......anyway,,,,,,,,then I

> chat with him about that..and why it's annoying. He really " gets

> it " . Not that it won't happen again,,,,,,,,,but maybe with

> repetition, it will sink in.

> I've learned (and he is too - he's 11),,,,that social

> " appropriateness " is NEVER going to just " happen " . He's only going

> to learn HOW to BE.....from LEARNING it. It will never come on its

> own.

> He knows that some day, he'll have to get a job...........again, this

> is going to have to be in a field where he'll probably be

> alone........cause that works for him.

> As far as fighting with sibs..........I think they all fight. It

> makes me insane, too........but this, I believe, is normal. At least

> I tell myself it is.

> Robin

>

> <hunebear3@...> wrote:

>> This is the hard part that he sees himself as " defective " I see him as

>> a extremely smart child that is different! The developmental doctor

>> also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at times I notice that

>> he uses these words to describe himself more frequently. He also calls

>> himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is the only one who

>> can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his sister calls him

>> a loser!!! We are on a " down " mood swing this week and it's very ugly

>> around here! can't do anything himself and wants to be told

>> everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've got 10 things

>> going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get organized so that we as

>> a family can STAY organized in order to help from being so

>> overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time crying and temper

>> tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his youngest sister!!

>> She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams (VERY LOUDLY)

>> and then complains that she is screaming and hurting his ears... then

>> he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you tell that I'm

>> stressed??? LOL

>>

>> This is the sad part of AS to me at least! The feelings of self

>> worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart and that " he

>> knows more than any of the other kids in his class " but he gets so

>> upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a bike, etc... I'm

>> hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get his life and our

>> family life on track and can help him to see that He is NOT

>> defective... just a very unique child with different great qualities

>> that others do not possess!!

>> On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:

>>

>> > ...but he calls it defective!

>> > my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5

>> > I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it. he says he is a

>> > loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My ds even blames

>> it

>> > on his own glasses for the reason he " can't do anything right "

>> >

July 12, 2007

The hard thing for me...with my daughter just newly diagnosed....is sorting out

her not so good behavior. I am always looking at these situations now and

thinking....okay, is this the mild Aspergers or is she just being naughty. Does

this eventually become easier to sort out?

Kirsten

Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have Asperger's!!! to Jackie

We've been very blunt with Ian about what issues he has ,and will have, because

of Aspergers. He knows he's smart because of it. He knows that he's always

going to have to work at being social. He wants friends and yet as the same

time,,,,could care a less.

When I catch him doing something " correctly " ,,,,,we chat about it and I know I

go overboard with the praise,,,,,but I give it until I can't stop. When he does

something very annoying.....like when he says things over and over and over and

over or screams and shouts wierd things at the pool...........it's really

embarrassing for him....or should I say, should be embarrassing for

him......anyway,,,,,,,,then I chat with him about that..and why it's annoying.

He really " gets it " . Not that it won't happen again,,,,,,,,,but maybe with

repetition, it will sink in.

I've learned (and he is too - he's 11),,,,that social " appropriateness " is NEVER

going to just " happen " . He's only going to learn HOW to BE.....from LEARNING

it. It will never come on its own.

He knows that some day, he'll have to get a job...........again, this is going

to have to be in a field where he'll probably be alone........cause that works

for him.

As far as fighting with sibs..........I think they all fight. It makes me

insane, too........but this, I believe, is normal. At least I tell myself it

is.

Robin

<hunebear3@...> wrote:

This is the hard part that he sees himself as " defective " I see him as

a extremely smart child that is different! The developmental doctor

also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at times I notice that

he uses these words to describe himself more frequently. He also calls

himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is the only one who

can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his sister calls him

a loser!!! We are on a " down " mood swing this week and it's very ugly

around here! can't do anything himself and wants to be told

everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've got 10 things

going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get organized so that we as

a family can STAY organized in order to help from being so

overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time crying and temper

tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his youngest sister!!

She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams (VERY LOUDLY)

and then complains that she is screaming and hurting his ears... then

he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you tell that I'm

stressed??? LOL

This is the sad part of AS to me at least! The feelings of self

worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart and that " he

knows more than any of the other kids in his class " but he gets so

upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a bike, etc... I'm

hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get his life and our

family life on track and can help him to see that He is NOT

defective... just a very unique child with different great qualities

that others do not possess!!

On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:

> ...but he calls it defective!

> my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5

> I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it. he says he is a

> loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My ds even blames it

> on his own glasses for the reason he " can't do anything right "

>

July 12, 2007

My oldest, Aspie 8 yr. old daughter....constantly is torturing(for lack

of a better word) my next youngest daughter who has a personality and

aura that everyone wishes they could have. I often worry about how this

is affecting Madeline(my second child). I guess she will be really good

at dealing with difficult people:)! Kirsten

Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have Asperger's!!! to

Jackie

I know as a parent of a child with AS that I am going to have to be more

disciplined myself! It's just so hard because one minute you are talking

to an intelligient child and then next it's like talking to a 2 year

old!! I need to be more consistent about " teaching " things to .

We do talk about things after he has settled down and I think he

realizes that he can do something different, but that's as far as we

get. Right now we are trying to teach him that doing some wrong and then

saying sorry doesn't fix the problem especially when he continues to do

the same thing. My husband gets so infuriated with this!! say's

" sorry " because he was taught to apologize for things, but now it's used

for everything!!

I don't know if the sib fighting is normal or not... it all seems a bit

extreme for it be normal fighting! Then again... I may worry too much!

LOL My youngest may be on the spectrum too and it's usually and

her that are clashing. My middle child is NT and she is just stuck in

the middle of the two of them! Don't get me wrong she does her fair

share!! LOL Can't wait for school to start again... some peace and quiet

at least! HA HA HA!!!

Jackie

On Jul 11, 2007, at 3:16 PM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:

We've been very blunt with Ian about what issues he has ,and

will have, because of Aspergers. He knows he's smart because of it. He

knows that he's always going to have to work at being social. He wants

friends and yet as the same time,,,,could care a less.

When I catch him doing something " correctly " ,,,,,we chat about

it and I know I go overboard with the praise,,,,,but I give it until I

can't stop. When he does something very annoying.....like when he says

things over and over and over and over or screams and shouts wierd

things at the pool...........it's really embarrassing for him....or

should I say, should be embarrassing for him......anyway,,,,,,,,then I

chat with him about that..and why it's annoying. He really " gets it " .

Not that it won't happen again,,,,,,,,,but maybe with repetition, it

will sink in.

I've learned (and he is too - he's 11),,,,that social

" appropriateness " is NEVER going to just " happen " . He's only going to

learn HOW to BE.....from LEARNING it. It will never come on its own.

He knows that some day, he'll have to get a job...........again,

this is going to have to be in a field where he'll probably be

alone........cause that works for him.

As far as fighting with sibs..........I think they all fight.

It makes me insane, too........but this, I believe, is normal. At least

I tell myself it is.

Robin

<hunebear3@...> wrote:

This is the hard part that he sees himself as

" defective " I see him as

a extremely smart child that is different! The

developmental doctor

also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at times

I notice that

he uses these words to describe himself more frequently.

He also calls

himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is

the only one who

can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his

sister calls him

a loser!!! We are on a " down " mood swing this week and

it's very ugly

around here! can't do anything himself and wants

to be told

everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've

got 10 things

going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get organized

so that we as

a family can STAY organized in order to help

from being so

overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time

crying and temper

tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his

youngest sister!!

She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams

(VERY LOUDLY)

and then complains that she is screaming and hurting his

ears... then

he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you

tell that I'm

stressed??? LOL

This is the sad part of AS to me at least! The feelings

of self

worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart and

that " he

knows more than any of the other kids in his class " but

he gets so

upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a

bike, etc... I'm

hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get his

life and our

family life on track and can help him to see that He is

NOT

defective... just a very unique child with different

great qualities

that others do not possess!!

On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:

> ...but he calls it defective!

> my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5

> I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it.

he says he is a

> loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My ds

even blames it

> on his own glasses for the reason he " can't do

anything right "

>

July 12, 2007

The depression part has been a problem here for my 10 yo ds. The "friend" thing is so awful. I think it's the worst thing of all. The kids in the neighborhood sometimes play with him but more often, they tease him or exclude him. It's been tough to deal with this stuff lately.

RoxannaAutism Happens

Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have Asperger's!!! to Jackie

This is the hard part that he sees himself as "defective" I see him as a extremely smart child that is different! The developmental doctor also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at times I notice that he uses these words to describe himself more frequently. He also calls himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is the only one who can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his sister calls him a loser!!! We are on a "down" mood swing this week and it's very ugly around here! can't do anything himself and wants to be told everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've got 10 things going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get organized so that we as a family can STAY organized in order to help from being so overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time crying and temper tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his youngest sister!! She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams (VERY LOUDLY) and then complains that she is screaming and hurting his ears... then he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you tell that I'm stressed??? LOLThis is the sad part of AS to me at least! The feelings of self worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart and that "he knows more than any of the other kids in his class" but he gets so upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a bike, etc... I'm hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get his life and our family life on track and can help him to see that He is NOT defective... just a very unique child with different great qualities that others do not possess!!On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:> ...but he calls it defective!> my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5> I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it. he says he is a> loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My ds even blames it> on his own glasses for the reason he "can't do anything right">>>>

July 12, 2007

Hee hee. I wish it did get easier..... Actually,,,,,,I think that now,,when I have him stop something,,,,,,,,if he does stop,,,great. If he doesn't and he keeps going and going without any "change"...like getting aggitated or something,,,then I think he's being naughty. I'll then keep trying to make him stop or whatever. If he is not stopping and seems to be needing to do it or is actaully getting annoying....and you try to stop the behavior and maybe touch him and he can't take it or.....is being annoying in the "social sense",,,,,,and he's "freaking"......that is stuff they can't help. I know this sounded really vague.......but I think the only way you can tell is with time. It breaks my heart when I think back to when we'd get really mad at some of his behavior. Now I know that he couldn't help it. Him jumping on his friends was simply his not UNDERSTANDING that he

SHOULDN'T. Him humming all the time and throwing a royal spaz fit when we had to go somewhere or leave somewhere or ALWAYS when we were out somewhere or visiting family.......was his way of NOT BEING ABLE TO DEAL WITH CHANGE. Sadly,,,,,Like I said,,,,,it just takes time. We've actually, only recently begun to tell our family and friends that we would leave early or stay in a hotel when visiting instead of at their home,,,,,,,,just to avoid breakdowns. In the past,,,,we thought each time,,,that it would be better. We'd get embarrassed,,,mad,,,,Ian would be freaked out,,,,,kids would all be upset.....we'd wonder why we did it again........it was awful. Now,,,,,we selfishly just worry about ourselves. Good luck. Robin"McClure, Kirsten" <McClure.Kirsten@...> wrote: The hard thing for me...with my daughter just newly diagnosed....is sorting out her not so good behavior. I am always looking at these situations now and thinking....okay, is this the mild Aspergers or is she just being naughty. Does this eventually become easier to sort out?Kirsten -----Original Message-----From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of and/or Robin LemkeSent: Wednesday, July 11, 2007 3:17 PM Subject: Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have Asperger's!!! to JackieWe've been very blunt with Ian about what issues he has ,and will have, because of Aspergers. He knows he's smart because of it. He knows that he's always going to have to work at being social. He wants friends and yet as the same time,,,,could care a less.When I catch him doing something "correctly",,,,,we chat about it and I know I go overboard with the praise,,,,,but I give it until I can't stop. When he does something very annoying.....like when he says things over and over and over and over or screams and shouts wierd things at the pool...........it's really embarrassing for him....or should I say, should be embarrassing for him......anyway,,,,,,,,then I chat with him about that..and why it's annoying. He really "gets it". Not that it won't happen

again,,,,,,,,,but maybe with repetition, it will sink in.I've learned (and he is too - he's 11),,,,that social "appropriateness" is NEVER going to just "happen". He's only going to learn HOW to BE.....from LEARNING it. It will never come on its own.He knows that some day, he'll have to get a job...........again, this is going to have to be in a field where he'll probably be alone........cause that works for him.As far as fighting with sibs..........I think they all fight. It makes me insane, too........but this, I believe, is normal. At least I tell myself it is.Robin <hunebear3comcast (DOT) net> wrote:This is the hard part that he sees himself as "defective" I see him as a extremely smart child that is different! The developmental doctor also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at times I notice that he uses these words to describe

himself more frequently. He also calls himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is the only one who can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his sister calls him a loser!!! We are on a "down" mood swing this week and it's very ugly around here! can't do anything himself and wants to be told everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've got 10 things going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get organized so that we as a family can STAY organized in order to help from being so overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time crying and temper tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his youngest sister!! She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams (VERY LOUDLY) and then complains that she is screaming and hurting his ears... then he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you tell that I'm stressed??? LOLThis is the sad part of AS to me at

least! The feelings of self worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart and that "he knows more than any of the other kids in his class" but he gets so upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a bike, etc... I'm hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get his life and our family life on track and can help him to see that He is NOT defective... just a very unique child with different great qualities that others do not possess!!On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:> ...but he calls it defective!> my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5> I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it. he says he is a> loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My ds even blames it> on his own glasses for the reason he "can't do anything right">>>>

July 12, 2007

Ian is just now starting to get past the "sorry" stage. Just saying it, I believe, because he knows that he should. Thank GOD. I try to look at that in a good way. It gives me hope that he can LEARN other socially appropriate things he'll need to survive. Ahhhh.....hope. Hee hee. Robin <hunebear3@...> wrote: I know as a parent of a child with AS that I am going to have to be more disciplined myself! It's just so hard because one minute you are talking to an intelligient child and then next it's like talking to a 2 year old!! I need to be more consistent about "teaching" things to . We do talk about things after he has settled down and I think he realizes that he can do something different, but that's as far as we

get. Right now we are trying to teach him that doing some wrong and then saying sorry doesn't fix the problem especially when he continues to do the same thing. My husband gets so infuriated with this!! say's "sorry" because he was taught to apologize for things, but now it's used for everything!!I don't know if the sib fighting is normal or not... it all seems a bit extreme for it be normal fighting! Then again... I may worry too much! LOL My youngest may be on the spectrum too and it's usually and her that are clashing. My middle child is NT and she is just stuck in the middle of the two of them! Don't get me wrong she does her fair share!! LOL Can't wait for school to start again... some peace and quiet at least! HA HA HA!!!JackieOn Jul 11, 2007, at 3:16 PM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:> We've been very blunt with Ian about what issues he has ,and will > have, because of

Aspergers. He knows he's smart because of it. > He knows that he's always going to have to work at being social. He > wants friends and yet as the same time,,,,could care a less.> When I catch him doing something "correctly",,,,,we chat about it and > I know I go overboard with the praise,,,,,but I give it until I can't > stop. When he does something very annoying.....like when he says > things over and over and over and over or screams and shouts wierd > things at the pool...........it's really embarrassing for him....or > should I say, should be embarrassing for him......anyway,,,,,,,,then I > chat with him about that..and why it's annoying. He really "gets > it". Not that it won't happen again,,,,,,,,,but maybe with > repetition, it will sink in.> I've learned (and he is too - he's 11),,,,that social > "appropriateness" is NEVER going

to just "happen". He's only going > to learn HOW to BE.....from LEARNING it. It will never come on its > own.> He knows that some day, he'll have to get a job...........again, this > is going to have to be in a field where he'll probably be > alone........cause that works for him.> As far as fighting with sibs..........I think they all fight. It > makes me insane, too........but this, I believe, is normal. At least > I tell myself it is.> Robin>> wrote:>> This is the hard part that he sees himself as "defective" I see him as>> a extremely smart child that is different! The developmental doctor>> also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at times I notice that>> he uses these words to describe himself more frequently. He also calls>> himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like

your son he is the only one who>> can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his sister calls him>> a loser!!! We are on a "down" mood swing this week and it's very ugly>> around here! can't do anything himself and wants to be told>> everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've got 10 things>> going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get organized so that we as>> a family can STAY organized in order to help from being so>> overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time crying and temper>> tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his youngest sister!!>> She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams (VERY LOUDLY)>> and then complains that she is screaming and hurting his ears... then>> he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you tell that I'm>> stressed??? LOL>>>> This is

the sad part of AS to me at least! The feelings of self>> worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart and that "he>> knows more than any of the other kids in his class" but he gets so>> upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a bike, etc... I'm>> hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get his life and our>> family life on track and can help him to see that He is NOT>> defective... just a very unique child with different great qualities>> that others do not possess!!>> On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:>>>> > ...but he calls it defective!>> > my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5>> > I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it. he says he is a>> > loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My ds even blames >> it>> > on his own glasses for the reason he

"can't do anything right">> >>> >>> >>> >

July 12, 2007

My daughter will say sorry that I made you mad. I usually am frustrated with her when she says this. She doesn't say sorry for what happened just sorry you got mad about it. LOL This usually occurs as I am deep cleaning the house and expect it to at least be clean for the day and she starts ripping paper up or pulling everything off of a shelf looking for something that isn't even there. Then I feel horrible that she feels bad. Ugh it is a circle! she doesn't realize why I am upset just that I am upset and for that she is sorry. ( You should see me running around trying to clean before company arrives! I clean up and then have to go back and clean again the messes dd has made behind me! I try to get her involved in cleaning, she wants to help but she doesn't really clean well. At all! I have tried giving her various jobs like wiping down the kitchen table--she takes a swipe and that is

it. She likes to clean the microwave but ends up soaping up her arm instead and then slipping and sliding on the bubbles she let fall on the floor. Making it dangerous for her to clean the microwave! Her room stays a disaster area. Unless I stand there every single day and tell her pick up X now pick up Y now pick up Z and on and on. Drives me nuts. and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: Ian is just now starting to get past the "sorry" stage. Just

saying it, I believe, because he knows that he should. Thank GOD. I try to look at that in a good way. It gives me hope that he can LEARN other socially appropriate things he'll need to survive. Ahhhh.....hope. Hee hee. Robin <hunebear3comcast (DOT) net> wrote: I know as a parent of a child with AS that I am going to have to be more disciplined myself! It's just so hard because one minute you are talking to an intelligient child and then next it's like talking to a 2 year old!! I need to be more consistent about "teaching" things to . We do talk about things after he has settled down and I think he realizes that he can do something different, but that's as far as we get. Right now we are trying to teach him that doing some wrong and then saying sorry doesn't fix the

problem especially when he continues to do the same thing. My husband gets so infuriated with this!! say's "sorry" because he was taught to apologize for things, but now it's used for everything!!I don't know if the sib fighting is normal or not... it all seems a bit extreme for it be normal fighting! Then again... I may worry too much! LOL My youngest may be on the spectrum too and it's usually and her that are clashing. My middle child is NT and she is just stuck in the middle of the two of them! Don't get me wrong she does her fair share!! LOL Can't wait for school to start again... some peace and quiet at least! HA HA HA!!!JackieOn Jul 11, 2007, at 3:16 PM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:> We've been very blunt with Ian about what issues he has ,and will > have, because of Aspergers. He knows he's smart because of it. > He knows that he's always going to

have to work at being social. He > wants friends and yet as the same time,,,,could care a less.> When I catch him doing something "correctly",,,,,we chat about it and > I know I go overboard with the praise,,,,,but I give it until I can't > stop. When he does something very annoying.....like when he says > things over and over and over and over or screams and shouts wierd > things at the pool...........it's really embarrassing for him....or > should I say, should be embarrassing for him......anyway,,,,,,,,then I > chat with him about that..and why it's annoying. He really "gets > it". Not that it won't happen again,,,,,,,,,but maybe with > repetition, it will sink in.> I've learned (and he is too - he's 11),,,,that social > "appropriateness" is NEVER going to just "happen". He's only going > to learn HOW to BE.....from

LEARNING it. It will never come on its > own.> He knows that some day, he'll have to get a job...........again, this > is going to have to be in a field where he'll probably be > alone........cause that works for him.> As far as fighting with sibs..........I think they all fight. It > makes me insane, too........but this, I believe, is normal. At least > I tell myself it is.> Robin>> wrote:>> This is the hard part that he sees himself as "defective" I see him as>> a extremely smart child that is different! The developmental doctor>> also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at times I notice that>> he uses these words to describe himself more frequently. He also calls>> himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is the only one who>> can call himself these

things! Gets VERY angry if his sister calls him>> a loser!!! We are on a "down" mood swing this week and it's very ugly>> around here! can't do anything himself and wants to be told>> everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've got 10 things>> going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get organized so that we as>> a family can STAY organized in order to help from being so>> overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time crying and temper>> tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his youngest sister!!>> She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams (VERY LOUDLY)>> and then complains that she is screaming and hurting his ears... then>> he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you tell that I'm>> stressed??? LOL>>>> This is the sad part of AS to me at least! The feelings of

self>> worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart and that "he>> knows more than any of the other kids in his class" but he gets so>> upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a bike, etc... I'm>> hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get his life and our>> family life on track and can help him to see that He is NOT>> defective... just a very unique child with different great qualities>> that others do not possess!!>> On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:>>>> > ...but he calls it defective!>> > my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5>> > I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it. he says he is a>> > loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My ds even blames >> it>> > on his own glasses for the reason he "can't do anything right">>

>>> >>> >>> >

July 12, 2007

Kids are all so mean!! Sometimes I can completely understand why the

kids don't want to play with my DS... but then again he is my child!!

The neighborhood kids either are my son's best friend-- when they want

something or there's no one else to play or they hurl insults over our

fence at my son. The worst insult to my son is " stupid " ! He can

handle them calling him a sissy or " Homo " much better than being called

stupid! But then again after they call him stupid he's real quick to

point out all the reason WHY he can't be stupid!! Which then makes the

boys all laugh and tell him to go in the house! All of the

neighborhood kids... which all happen to be boys play mostly with my

DD... which is sad! She is the one who rides bikes with them, tosses

the football... you know typical boy things. is now beginning

to notice this more! One of the boys was in the house yesterday and

came to me and said " it happened again " and I said what... and

then told me my friend is playing with ... she took him away! So

I made the girls and boys separate. That worked for a while!

The friend thing is just getting worse and worse and causing

not to even want to go out in the yard to play. Plus some of the

children in the neighborhood are the kinds of kids that I don't want my

children playing with out of my sight... if you know what I mean! They

have NO parent supervision and are allowed to do pretty much whatever

they want to do and that is NOT a good place for to be

especially. So sometimes I think they invite over because they

know I won't let him go just to see him have a breakdown in the yard.

Believe me and I talk about this frequently, but when the

moment comes... all of our talking is out the window!!!

This job of raising an AS child is Hard... just gotta figure out how to

lick it!! LOL

Jackie

On Jul 11, 2007, at 9:18 PM, Roxanna wrote:

> The depression part has been a problem here for my 10 yo ds. The

> " friend " thing is so awful. I think it's the worst thing of all. The

> kids in the neighborhood sometimes play with him but more often, they

> tease him or exclude him. It's been tough to deal with this stuff

> lately.

>

> Roxanna

> Autism Happens

>> Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have Asperger's!!! to

>> Jackie