Re: Re: I Do Not Have Asperger's!!! to Jackie

[Guest guest]

I know as a parent of a child with AS that I am going to have to be

more disciplined myself! It's just so hard because one minute you are

talking to an intelligient child and then next it's like talking to a 2

year old!! I need to be more consistent about " teaching " things to

. We do talk about things after he has settled down and I think

he realizes that he can do something different, but that's as far as we

get. Right now we are trying to teach him that doing some wrong and

then saying sorry doesn't fix the problem especially when he continues

to do the same thing. My husband gets so infuriated with this!!

say's " sorry " because he was taught to apologize for things,

but now it's used for everything!!

I don't know if the sib fighting is normal or not... it all seems a bit

extreme for it be normal fighting! Then again... I may worry too much!

LOL My youngest may be on the spectrum too and it's usually

and her that are clashing. My middle child is NT and she is just stuck

in the middle of the two of them! Don't get me wrong she does her fair

share!! LOL Can't wait for school to start again... some peace and

quiet at least! HA HA HA!!!

Jackie

On Jul 11, 2007, at 3:16 PM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:

> We've been very blunt with Ian about what issues he has ,and will

> have, because of Aspergers.  He knows he's smart because of it. 

> He knows that he's always going to have to work at being social.  He

> wants friends and yet as the same time,,,,could care a less.

> When I catch him doing something " correctly " ,,,,,we chat about it and

> I know I go overboard with the praise,,,,,but I give it until I can't

> stop.  When he does something very annoying.....like when he says

> things over and over and over and over or screams and shouts wierd

> things at the pool...........it's really embarrassing for him....or

> should I say, should be embarrassing for him......anyway,,,,,,,,then I

> chat with him about that..and why it's annoying.  He really " gets

> it " .  Not that it won't happen again,,,,,,,,,but maybe with

> repetition, it will sink in.

> I've learned (and he is too - he's 11),,,,that social

> " appropriateness " is NEVER going to just " happen " .  He's only going

> to learn HOW to BE.....from LEARNING it.  It will never come on its

> own.

> He knows that some day, he'll have to get a job...........again, this

> is going to have to be in a field where he'll probably be

> alone........cause that works for him.

> As far as fighting with sibs..........I think they all fight.  It

> makes me insane, too........but this, I believe, is normal.  At least

> I tell myself it is.

> Robin

>

> <hunebear3@...> wrote:

>> This is the hard part that he sees himself as " defective " I see him as

>> a extremely smart child that is different! The developmental doctor

>> also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at times I notice that

>> he uses these words to describe himself more frequently. He also calls

>> himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is the only one who

>> can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his sister calls him

>> a loser!!! We are on a " down " mood swing this week and it's very ugly

>> around here! can't do anything himself and wants to be told

>> everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've got 10 things

>> going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get organized so that we as

>> a family can STAY organized in order to help from being so

>> overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time crying and temper

>> tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his youngest sister!!

>> She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams (VERY LOUDLY)

>> and then complains that she is screaming and hurting his ears... then

>> he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you tell that I'm

>> stressed??? LOL

>>

>> This is the sad part of AS to me at least! The feelings of self

>> worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart and that " he

>> knows more than any of the other kids in his class " but he gets so

>> upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a bike, etc... I'm

>> hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get his life and our

>> family life on track and can help him to see that He is NOT

>> defective... just a very unique child with different great qualities

>> that others do not possess!!

>> On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:

>>

>> > ...but he calls it defective!

>> > my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5

>> > I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it. he says he is a

>> > loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My ds even blames

>> it

>> > on his own glasses for the reason he " can't do anything right "

>> >

>> >

>> >

>> >

[Guest guest]

The hard thing for me...with my daughter just newly diagnosed....is sorting out

her not so good behavior. I am always looking at these situations now and

thinking....okay, is this the mild Aspergers or is she just being naughty. Does

this eventually become easier to sort out?

Kirsten

Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have Asperger's!!! to Jackie

We've been very blunt with Ian about what issues he has ,and will have, because

of Aspergers. He knows he's smart because of it. He knows that he's always

going to have to work at being social. He wants friends and yet as the same

time,,,,could care a less.

When I catch him doing something " correctly " ,,,,,we chat about it and I know I

go overboard with the praise,,,,,but I give it until I can't stop. When he does

something very annoying.....like when he says things over and over and over and

over or screams and shouts wierd things at the pool...........it's really

embarrassing for him....or should I say, should be embarrassing for

him......anyway,,,,,,,,then I chat with him about that..and why it's annoying.

He really " gets it " . Not that it won't happen again,,,,,,,,,but maybe with

repetition, it will sink in.

I've learned (and he is too - he's 11),,,,that social " appropriateness " is NEVER

going to just " happen " . He's only going to learn HOW to BE.....from LEARNING

it. It will never come on its own.

He knows that some day, he'll have to get a job...........again, this is going

to have to be in a field where he'll probably be alone........cause that works

for him.

As far as fighting with sibs..........I think they all fight. It makes me

insane, too........but this, I believe, is normal. At least I tell myself it

is.

Robin

<hunebear3@...> wrote:

This is the hard part that he sees himself as " defective " I see him as

a extremely smart child that is different! The developmental doctor

also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at times I notice that

he uses these words to describe himself more frequently. He also calls

himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is the only one who

can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his sister calls him

a loser!!! We are on a " down " mood swing this week and it's very ugly

around here! can't do anything himself and wants to be told

everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've got 10 things

going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get organized so that we as

a family can STAY organized in order to help from being so

overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time crying and temper

tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his youngest sister!!

She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams (VERY LOUDLY)

and then complains that she is screaming and hurting his ears... then

he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you tell that I'm

stressed??? LOL

This is the sad part of AS to me at least! The feelings of self

worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart and that " he

knows more than any of the other kids in his class " but he gets so

upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a bike, etc... I'm

hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get his life and our

family life on track and can help him to see that He is NOT

defective... just a very unique child with different great qualities

that others do not possess!!

On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:

> ...but he calls it defective!

> my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5

> I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it. he says he is a

> loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My ds even blames it

> on his own glasses for the reason he " can't do anything right "

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My oldest, Aspie 8 yr. old daughter....constantly is torturing(for lack

of a better word) my next youngest daughter who has a personality and

aura that everyone wishes they could have. I often worry about how this

is affecting Madeline(my second child). I guess she will be really good

at dealing with difficult people:)! Kirsten

Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have Asperger's!!! to

Jackie

I know as a parent of a child with AS that I am going to have to be more

disciplined myself! It's just so hard because one minute you are talking

to an intelligient child and then next it's like talking to a 2 year

old!! I need to be more consistent about " teaching " things to .

We do talk about things after he has settled down and I think he

realizes that he can do something different, but that's as far as we

get. Right now we are trying to teach him that doing some wrong and then

saying sorry doesn't fix the problem especially when he continues to do

the same thing. My husband gets so infuriated with this!! say's

" sorry " because he was taught to apologize for things, but now it's used

for everything!!

I don't know if the sib fighting is normal or not... it all seems a bit

extreme for it be normal fighting! Then again... I may worry too much!

LOL My youngest may be on the spectrum too and it's usually and

her that are clashing. My middle child is NT and she is just stuck in

the middle of the two of them! Don't get me wrong she does her fair

share!! LOL Can't wait for school to start again... some peace and quiet

at least! HA HA HA!!!

Jackie

On Jul 11, 2007, at 3:16 PM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:

We've been very blunt with Ian about what issues he has ,and

will have, because of Aspergers. He knows he's smart because of it. He

knows that he's always going to have to work at being social. He wants

friends and yet as the same time,,,,could care a less.

When I catch him doing something " correctly " ,,,,,we chat about

it and I know I go overboard with the praise,,,,,but I give it until I

can't stop. When he does something very annoying.....like when he says

things over and over and over and over or screams and shouts wierd

things at the pool...........it's really embarrassing for him....or

should I say, should be embarrassing for him......anyway,,,,,,,,then I

chat with him about that..and why it's annoying. He really " gets it " .

Not that it won't happen again,,,,,,,,,but maybe with repetition, it

will sink in.

I've learned (and he is too - he's 11),,,,that social

" appropriateness " is NEVER going to just " happen " . He's only going to

learn HOW to BE.....from LEARNING it. It will never come on its own.

He knows that some day, he'll have to get a job...........again,

this is going to have to be in a field where he'll probably be

alone........cause that works for him.

As far as fighting with sibs..........I think they all fight.

It makes me insane, too........but this, I believe, is normal. At least

I tell myself it is.

Robin

<hunebear3@...> wrote:

This is the hard part that he sees himself as

" defective " I see him as

a extremely smart child that is different! The

developmental doctor

also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at times

I notice that

he uses these words to describe himself more frequently.

He also calls

himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is

the only one who

can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his

sister calls him

a loser!!! We are on a " down " mood swing this week and

it's very ugly

around here! can't do anything himself and wants

to be told

everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've

got 10 things

going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get organized

so that we as

a family can STAY organized in order to help

from being so

overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time

crying and temper

tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his

youngest sister!!

She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams

(VERY LOUDLY)

and then complains that she is screaming and hurting his

ears... then

he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you

tell that I'm

stressed??? LOL

This is the sad part of AS to me at least! The feelings

of self

worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart and

that " he

knows more than any of the other kids in his class " but

he gets so

upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a

bike, etc... I'm

hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get his

life and our

family life on track and can help him to see that He is

NOT

defective... just a very unique child with different

great qualities

that others do not possess!!

On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:

> ...but he calls it defective!

> my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5

> I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it.

he says he is a

> loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My ds

even blames it

> on his own glasses for the reason he " can't do

anything right "

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

The depression part has been a problem here for my 10 yo ds. The "friend" thing is so awful. I think it's the worst thing of all. The kids in the neighborhood sometimes play with him but more often, they tease him or exclude him. It's been tough to deal with this stuff lately.

RoxannaAutism Happens

Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have Asperger's!!! to Jackie

This is the hard part that he sees himself as "defective" I see him as a extremely smart child that is different! The developmental doctor also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at times I notice that he uses these words to describe himself more frequently. He also calls himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is the only one who can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his sister calls him a loser!!! We are on a "down" mood swing this week and it's very ugly around here! can't do anything himself and wants to be told everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've got 10 things going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get organized so that we as a family can STAY organized in order to help from being so overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time crying and temper tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his youngest sister!! She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams (VERY LOUDLY) and then complains that she is screaming and hurting his ears... then he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you tell that I'm stressed??? LOLThis is the sad part of AS to me at least! The feelings of self worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart and that "he knows more than any of the other kids in his class" but he gets so upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a bike, etc... I'm hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get his life and our family life on track and can help him to see that He is NOT defective... just a very unique child with different great qualities that others do not possess!!On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:> ...but he calls it defective!> my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5> I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it. he says he is a> loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My ds even blames it> on his own glasses for the reason he "can't do anything right">>>>

[Guest guest]

Hee hee. I wish it did get easier..... Actually,,,,,,I think that now,,when I have him stop something,,,,,,,,if he does stop,,,great. If he doesn't and he keeps going and going without any "change"...like getting aggitated or something,,,then I think he's being naughty. I'll then keep trying to make him stop or whatever. If he is not stopping and seems to be needing to do it or is actaully getting annoying....and you try to stop the behavior and maybe touch him and he can't take it or.....is being annoying in the "social sense",,,,,,and he's "freaking"......that is stuff they can't help. I know this sounded really vague.......but I think the only way you can tell is with time. It breaks my heart when I think back to when we'd get really mad at some of his behavior. Now I know that he couldn't help it. Him jumping on his friends was simply his not UNDERSTANDING that he

SHOULDN'T. Him humming all the time and throwing a royal spaz fit when we had to go somewhere or leave somewhere or ALWAYS when we were out somewhere or visiting family.......was his way of NOT BEING ABLE TO DEAL WITH CHANGE. Sadly,,,,,Like I said,,,,,it just takes time. We've actually, only recently begun to tell our family and friends that we would leave early or stay in a hotel when visiting instead of at their home,,,,,,,,just to avoid breakdowns. In the past,,,,we thought each time,,,that it would be better. We'd get embarrassed,,,mad,,,,Ian would be freaked out,,,,,kids would all be upset.....we'd wonder why we did it again........it was awful. Now,,,,,we selfishly just worry about ourselves. Good luck. Robin"McClure, Kirsten" <McClure.Kirsten@...> wrote: The hard thing for me...with my daughter just newly diagnosed....is sorting out her not so good behavior. I am always looking at these situations now and thinking....okay, is this the mild Aspergers or is she just being naughty. Does this eventually become easier to sort out?Kirsten -----Original Message-----From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of and/or Robin LemkeSent: Wednesday, July 11, 2007 3:17 PM Subject: Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have Asperger's!!! to JackieWe've been very blunt with Ian about what issues he has ,and will have, because of Aspergers. He knows he's smart because of it. He knows that he's always going to have to work at being social. He wants friends and yet as the same time,,,,could care a less.When I catch him doing something "correctly",,,,,we chat about it and I know I go overboard with the praise,,,,,but I give it until I can't stop. When he does something very annoying.....like when he says things over and over and over and over or screams and shouts wierd things at the pool...........it's really embarrassing for him....or should I say, should be embarrassing for him......anyway,,,,,,,,then I chat with him about that..and why it's annoying. He really "gets it". Not that it won't happen

again,,,,,,,,,but maybe with repetition, it will sink in.I've learned (and he is too - he's 11),,,,that social "appropriateness" is NEVER going to just "happen". He's only going to learn HOW to BE.....from LEARNING it. It will never come on its own.He knows that some day, he'll have to get a job...........again, this is going to have to be in a field where he'll probably be alone........cause that works for him.As far as fighting with sibs..........I think they all fight. It makes me insane, too........but this, I believe, is normal. At least I tell myself it is.Robin <hunebear3comcast (DOT) net> wrote:This is the hard part that he sees himself as "defective" I see him as a extremely smart child that is different! The developmental doctor also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at times I notice that he uses these words to describe

himself more frequently. He also calls himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is the only one who can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his sister calls him a loser!!! We are on a "down" mood swing this week and it's very ugly around here! can't do anything himself and wants to be told everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've got 10 things going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get organized so that we as a family can STAY organized in order to help from being so overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time crying and temper tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his youngest sister!! She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams (VERY LOUDLY) and then complains that she is screaming and hurting his ears... then he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you tell that I'm stressed??? LOLThis is the sad part of AS to me at

least! The feelings of self worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart and that "he knows more than any of the other kids in his class" but he gets so upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a bike, etc... I'm hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get his life and our family life on track and can help him to see that He is NOT defective... just a very unique child with different great qualities that others do not possess!!On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:> ...but he calls it defective!> my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5> I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it. he says he is a> loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My ds even blames it> on his own glasses for the reason he "can't do anything right">>>>

[Guest guest]

Ian is just now starting to get past the "sorry" stage. Just saying it, I believe, because he knows that he should. Thank GOD. I try to look at that in a good way. It gives me hope that he can LEARN other socially appropriate things he'll need to survive. Ahhhh.....hope. Hee hee. Robin <hunebear3@...> wrote: I know as a parent of a child with AS that I am going to have to be more disciplined myself! It's just so hard because one minute you are talking to an intelligient child and then next it's like talking to a 2 year old!! I need to be more consistent about "teaching" things to . We do talk about things after he has settled down and I think he realizes that he can do something different, but that's as far as we

get. Right now we are trying to teach him that doing some wrong and then saying sorry doesn't fix the problem especially when he continues to do the same thing. My husband gets so infuriated with this!! say's "sorry" because he was taught to apologize for things, but now it's used for everything!!I don't know if the sib fighting is normal or not... it all seems a bit extreme for it be normal fighting! Then again... I may worry too much! LOL My youngest may be on the spectrum too and it's usually and her that are clashing. My middle child is NT and she is just stuck in the middle of the two of them! Don't get me wrong she does her fair share!! LOL Can't wait for school to start again... some peace and quiet at least! HA HA HA!!!JackieOn Jul 11, 2007, at 3:16 PM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:> We've been very blunt with Ian about what issues he has ,and will > have, because of

Aspergers. He knows he's smart because of it. > He knows that he's always going to have to work at being social. He > wants friends and yet as the same time,,,,could care a less.> When I catch him doing something "correctly",,,,,we chat about it and > I know I go overboard with the praise,,,,,but I give it until I can't > stop. When he does something very annoying.....like when he says > things over and over and over and over or screams and shouts wierd > things at the pool...........it's really embarrassing for him....or > should I say, should be embarrassing for him......anyway,,,,,,,,then I > chat with him about that..and why it's annoying. He really "gets > it". Not that it won't happen again,,,,,,,,,but maybe with > repetition, it will sink in.> I've learned (and he is too - he's 11),,,,that social > "appropriateness" is NEVER going

to just "happen". He's only going > to learn HOW to BE.....from LEARNING it. It will never come on its > own.> He knows that some day, he'll have to get a job...........again, this > is going to have to be in a field where he'll probably be > alone........cause that works for him.> As far as fighting with sibs..........I think they all fight. It > makes me insane, too........but this, I believe, is normal. At least > I tell myself it is.> Robin>> wrote:>> This is the hard part that he sees himself as "defective" I see him as>> a extremely smart child that is different! The developmental doctor>> also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at times I notice that>> he uses these words to describe himself more frequently. He also calls>> himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like

your son he is the only one who>> can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his sister calls him>> a loser!!! We are on a "down" mood swing this week and it's very ugly>> around here! can't do anything himself and wants to be told>> everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've got 10 things>> going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get organized so that we as>> a family can STAY organized in order to help from being so>> overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time crying and temper>> tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his youngest sister!!>> She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams (VERY LOUDLY)>> and then complains that she is screaming and hurting his ears... then>> he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you tell that I'm>> stressed??? LOL>>>> This is

the sad part of AS to me at least! The feelings of self>> worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart and that "he>> knows more than any of the other kids in his class" but he gets so>> upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a bike, etc... I'm>> hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get his life and our>> family life on track and can help him to see that He is NOT>> defective... just a very unique child with different great qualities>> that others do not possess!!>> On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:>>>> > ...but he calls it defective!>> > my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5>> > I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it. he says he is a>> > loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My ds even blames >> it>> > on his own glasses for the reason he

"can't do anything right">> >>> >>> >>> >

[Guest guest]

My daughter will say sorry that I made you mad. I usually am frustrated with her when she says this. She doesn't say sorry for what happened just sorry you got mad about it. LOL This usually occurs as I am deep cleaning the house and expect it to at least be clean for the day and she starts ripping paper up or pulling everything off of a shelf looking for something that isn't even there. Then I feel horrible that she feels bad. Ugh it is a circle! she doesn't realize why I am upset just that I am upset and for that she is sorry. ( You should see me running around trying to clean before company arrives! I clean up and then have to go back and clean again the messes dd has made behind me! I try to get her involved in cleaning, she wants to help but she doesn't really clean well. At all! I have tried giving her various jobs like wiping down the kitchen table--she takes a swipe and that is

it. She likes to clean the microwave but ends up soaping up her arm instead and then slipping and sliding on the bubbles she let fall on the floor. Making it dangerous for her to clean the microwave! Her room stays a disaster area. Unless I stand there every single day and tell her pick up X now pick up Y now pick up Z and on and on. Drives me nuts. and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: Ian is just now starting to get past the "sorry" stage. Just

saying it, I believe, because he knows that he should. Thank GOD. I try to look at that in a good way. It gives me hope that he can LEARN other socially appropriate things he'll need to survive. Ahhhh.....hope. Hee hee. Robin <hunebear3comcast (DOT) net> wrote: I know as a parent of a child with AS that I am going to have to be more disciplined myself! It's just so hard because one minute you are talking to an intelligient child and then next it's like talking to a 2 year old!! I need to be more consistent about "teaching" things to . We do talk about things after he has settled down and I think he realizes that he can do something different, but that's as far as we get. Right now we are trying to teach him that doing some wrong and then saying sorry doesn't fix the

problem especially when he continues to do the same thing. My husband gets so infuriated with this!! say's "sorry" because he was taught to apologize for things, but now it's used for everything!!I don't know if the sib fighting is normal or not... it all seems a bit extreme for it be normal fighting! Then again... I may worry too much! LOL My youngest may be on the spectrum too and it's usually and her that are clashing. My middle child is NT and she is just stuck in the middle of the two of them! Don't get me wrong she does her fair share!! LOL Can't wait for school to start again... some peace and quiet at least! HA HA HA!!!JackieOn Jul 11, 2007, at 3:16 PM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:> We've been very blunt with Ian about what issues he has ,and will > have, because of Aspergers. He knows he's smart because of it. > He knows that he's always going to

have to work at being social. He > wants friends and yet as the same time,,,,could care a less.> When I catch him doing something "correctly",,,,,we chat about it and > I know I go overboard with the praise,,,,,but I give it until I can't > stop. When he does something very annoying.....like when he says > things over and over and over and over or screams and shouts wierd > things at the pool...........it's really embarrassing for him....or > should I say, should be embarrassing for him......anyway,,,,,,,,then I > chat with him about that..and why it's annoying. He really "gets > it". Not that it won't happen again,,,,,,,,,but maybe with > repetition, it will sink in.> I've learned (and he is too - he's 11),,,,that social > "appropriateness" is NEVER going to just "happen". He's only going > to learn HOW to BE.....from

LEARNING it. It will never come on its > own.> He knows that some day, he'll have to get a job...........again, this > is going to have to be in a field where he'll probably be > alone........cause that works for him.> As far as fighting with sibs..........I think they all fight. It > makes me insane, too........but this, I believe, is normal. At least > I tell myself it is.> Robin>> wrote:>> This is the hard part that he sees himself as "defective" I see him as>> a extremely smart child that is different! The developmental doctor>> also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at times I notice that>> he uses these words to describe himself more frequently. He also calls>> himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is the only one who>> can call himself these

things! Gets VERY angry if his sister calls him>> a loser!!! We are on a "down" mood swing this week and it's very ugly>> around here! can't do anything himself and wants to be told>> everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've got 10 things>> going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get organized so that we as>> a family can STAY organized in order to help from being so>> overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time crying and temper>> tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his youngest sister!!>> She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams (VERY LOUDLY)>> and then complains that she is screaming and hurting his ears... then>> he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you tell that I'm>> stressed??? LOL>>>> This is the sad part of AS to me at least! The feelings of

self>> worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart and that "he>> knows more than any of the other kids in his class" but he gets so>> upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a bike, etc... I'm>> hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get his life and our>> family life on track and can help him to see that He is NOT>> defective... just a very unique child with different great qualities>> that others do not possess!!>> On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:>>>> > ...but he calls it defective!>> > my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5>> > I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it. he says he is a>> > loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My ds even blames >> it>> > on his own glasses for the reason he "can't do anything right">>

>>> >>> >>> >

[Guest guest]

Kids are all so mean!! Sometimes I can completely understand why the

kids don't want to play with my DS... but then again he is my child!!

The neighborhood kids either are my son's best friend-- when they want

something or there's no one else to play or they hurl insults over our

fence at my son. The worst insult to my son is " stupid " ! He can

handle them calling him a sissy or " Homo " much better than being called

stupid! But then again after they call him stupid he's real quick to

point out all the reason WHY he can't be stupid!! Which then makes the

boys all laugh and tell him to go in the house! All of the

neighborhood kids... which all happen to be boys play mostly with my

DD... which is sad! She is the one who rides bikes with them, tosses

the football... you know typical boy things. is now beginning

to notice this more! One of the boys was in the house yesterday and

came to me and said " it happened again " and I said what... and

then told me my friend is playing with ... she took him away! So

I made the girls and boys separate. That worked for a while!

The friend thing is just getting worse and worse and causing

not to even want to go out in the yard to play. Plus some of the

children in the neighborhood are the kinds of kids that I don't want my

children playing with out of my sight... if you know what I mean! They

have NO parent supervision and are allowed to do pretty much whatever

they want to do and that is NOT a good place for to be

especially. So sometimes I think they invite over because they

know I won't let him go just to see him have a breakdown in the yard.

Believe me and I talk about this frequently, but when the

moment comes... all of our talking is out the window!!!

This job of raising an AS child is Hard... just gotta figure out how to

lick it!! LOL

Jackie

On Jul 11, 2007, at 9:18 PM, Roxanna wrote:

> The depression part has been a problem here for my 10 yo ds.  The

> " friend " thing is so awful.  I think it's the worst thing of all.  The

> kids in the neighborhood sometimes play with him but more often, they

> tease him or exclude him.  It's been tough to deal with this stuff

> lately. 

>  

> Roxanna

> Autism Happens

>> Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have Asperger's!!! to

>> Jackie

>>

>>

>> This is the hard part that he sees himself as " defective " I see him as

>> a extremely smart child that is different! The developmental doctor

>> also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at times I notice that

>> he uses these words to describe himself more frequently. He also calls

>> himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is the only one who

>> can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his sister calls him

>> a loser!!! We are on a " down " mood swing this week and it's very ugly

>> around here! can't do anything himself and wants to be told

>> everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've got 10 things

>> going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get organized so that we as

>> a family can STAY organized in order to help from being so

>> overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time crying and temper

>> tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his youngest sister!!

>> She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams (VERY LOUDLY)

>> and then complains that she is screaming and hurting his ears... then

>> he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you tell that I'm

>> stressed??? LOL

>>

>> This is the sad part of AS to me at least! The feelings of self

>> worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart and that " he

>> knows more than any of the other kids in his class " but he gets so

>> upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a bike, etc... I'm

>> hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get his life and our

>> family life on track and can help him to see that He is NOT

>> defective... just a very unique child with different great qualities

>> that others do not possess!!

>> On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:

>>

>> > ...but he calls it defective!

>> > my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5

>> > I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it. he says he is a

>> > loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My ds even blames

>> it

>> > on his own glasses for the reason he " can't do anything right "

>> >

>> >

>> >

>> >

[Guest guest]

Hi Jackie, The same problem here. there are a click (handful) of children that are unsupervised under 12 and free to do what they want including staying out till late hours. The ones that are supervised only have scheduled playdates, have to stay in site of their parents. (like mine). and of course when the unsupervised boys are separated. the one that's left home with nothing to do would come over to play with my son. great, He has a friend??? problem is, he asked if he could have everything my son has. He just got a fishing pole still with tags. and the kid wanted it. I explained to my son what a 'friend' is. also asked if he thought these boys fit that description of 'friend'. so, he played by himself for a while. He joined a boys & girls club and gets to play with other children there. He also wants a 'best friend' so bad. but right

now, I'd rather him wait and play at the boys club, than get into trouble or hurt feelings with those unsupervised boys. I could easily see him doing something dangerous just because he says he is strong or nothing bad can happen. (because he doesn't understand the concept of danger). I think sometimes our children need some adult help when choosing a friend. a little explaining that names "do hurt" and a 'friend' won't call you names. Is your son involved in boyscouts? baseball? maybe you can call one of those boys over for a playdate and if your son is into fishing, movies, riding bikes. Maybe you can arrange for them both to do that together with you supervising until a friendship develops. Just a thought. I wish I had more ideas for you. When the boys call your son stupid. Have him say: takes on to know one -and walk away. maybe not those exact words, but

something to say back so your son wont feel so hurt. Sorry he has to be around those mean children. Do you have an aspergers support group near you? If they have children your sons age, mayby you can all meet at a park and see who he gets along with???. *smile* <hunebear3@...> wrote: Kids are all so mean!! Sometimes I can completely understand why the kids don't want to play with my DS... but then again he is my child!! The neighborhood kids either are my son's best friend-- when they want something or there's no one else to play or they hurl insults over our fence at my son. The worst insult to my son is "stupid"! He can handle them calling him a sissy or "Homo" much better than being called stupid! But then again after

they call him stupid he's real quick to point out all the reason WHY he can't be stupid!! Which then makes the boys all laugh and tell him to go in the house! All of the neighborhood kids... which all happen to be boys play mostly with my DD... which is sad! She is the one who rides bikes with them, tosses the football... you know typical boy things. is now beginning to notice this more! One of the boys was in the house yesterday and came to me and said "it happened again" and I said what... and then told me my friend is playing with ... she took him away! So I made the girls and boys separate. That worked for a while!The friend thing is just getting worse and worse and causing not to even want to go out in the yard to play. Plus some of the children in the neighborhood are the kinds of kids that I don't want my children playing with out of my sight... if you know what I mean! They

have NO parent supervision and are allowed to do pretty much whatever they want to do and that is NOT a good place for to be especially. So sometimes I think they invite over because they know I won't let him go just to see him have a breakdown in the yard. Believe me and I talk about this frequently, but when the moment comes... all of our talking is out the window!!!This job of raising an AS child is Hard... just gotta figure out how to lick it!! LOLJackieOn Jul 11, 2007, at 9:18 PM, Roxanna wrote:> The depression part has been a problem here for my 10 yo ds. The > "friend" thing is so awful. I think it's the worst thing of all. The > kids in the neighborhood sometimes play with him but more often, they > tease him or exclude him. It's been tough to deal with this stuff > lately. > > Roxanna> Autism

Happens>> Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have Asperger's!!! to >> Jackie>>>>>> This is the hard part that he sees himself as "defective" I see him as>> a extremely smart child that is different! The developmental doctor>> also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at times I notice that>> he uses these words to describe himself more frequently. He also calls>> himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is the only one who>> can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his sister calls him>> a loser!!! We are on a "down" mood swing this week and it's very ugly>> around here! can't do anything himself and wants to be told>> everything

to do step by step! Hard for me because I've got 10 things>> going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get organized so that we as>> a family can STAY organized in order to help from being so>> overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time crying and temper>> tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his youngest sister!!>> She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams (VERY LOUDLY)>> and then complains that she is screaming and hurting his ears... then>> he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you tell that I'm>> stressed??? LOL>>>> This is the sad part of AS to me at least! The feelings of self>> worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart and that "he>> knows more than any of the other kids in his class" but he gets so>> upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a bike, etc...

I'm>> hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get his life and our>> family life on track and can help him to see that He is NOT>> defective... just a very unique child with different great qualities>> that others do not possess!!>> On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:>>>> > ...but he calls it defective!>> > my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5>> > I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it. he says he is a>> > loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My ds even blames >> it>> > on his own glasses for the reason he "can't do anything right">> >>> >>> >>> >

[Guest guest]

Rose,

These are all great suggestions! is only involved in Karate

right now. His only other interest is Video games. He will not

participate in any group sports as he HATES sports! I am trying to

locate a local support group that is more geared toward AS. There is a

Special needs group that meets approx 30 minutes from my house but I

think that is more of a " mom " support meeting even though children are

welcomed. I just finished a Sleep Study at the Local Children's

hospital and I had some great Mom's in my group and lucky for us all we

have children that are all about the same age. So we are planning on

forming our own little group as soon as vacation season is over. I'm

looking forward to that because the other mom's have children that are

Dx with AS too!

does not understand the concept of what a friend is either. He

thinks when someone asks to " borrow " (which means keep in the other

children's eyes) that they are his " friend " . If they want to play with

him ONE day out of 7 then they are his friend. Basically anyone that

his " nice " to him on a one time basis is his friend! We talk about

what a friend is frequently and I try to help when the boys are over,

but like I said I can not trust him going to the other's boy's house as

they are unsupervised. These boys are all about 10 years old and they

come knocking on our door as late as 8:30 pm!! I'm sorry if I sound

like a overprotective mother but my kids are usually in bed at this

time... especially if it's a school night!!

will do just about anything that someone tells him to do or

dares whatever it is! So that's another reason I don't feel safe

allowing him to go to far from home. There is one boy that he plays

with that spends the night here that is very tolerate of . He's

attuned into 's problems even though he doesn't know whats wrong

with him. Walter-- the friend has asked me several times why

cries so easily and why he gets so mad... but he will usually try to

calm down or talk him through it. He also tells the other boys

to stop making fun of him! BUT... he(walter) likes to play with the

other boys too and this ticks off because he thinks he should

be the ONLY friend!! What a hard life to live!!!

Maybe there's someone on this group that lives closeby... I live in

Gallatin, TN!!! Want to hook up for a Play date?????? LOL

Jackie

On Jul 12, 2007, at 11:08 AM, Rose wrote:

> Hi Jackie,

> The same problem here.  there are a click (handful) of children that

> are unsupervised under 12 and free to do what they want including

> staying out till late hours.  The ones that are supervised only have

> scheduled playdates, have to stay in site of their parents. (like

> mine).

> and of course when the unsupervised boys are separated.  the one

> that's left home with nothing to do would come over to play with my

> son.  great, He has a friend???  problem is, he asked if he could have

> everything my son has.  He just got a fishing pole still with tags. 

> and the kid wanted it.  I explained to my son what a 'friend' is. 

> also asked if he thought these boys fit that description of 'friend'. 

> so, he played by himself for a while.  He joined a boys & girls club

> and gets to play with other children there.   He also wants a 'best

> friend' so bad.  but right now, I'd rather him wait and play at the

> boys club, than get into trouble or hurt feelings with those

> unsupervised boys.  I could easily see him doing something dangerous

> just because he says he is strong or nothing bad can happen. (because

> he doesn't understand the concept of danger).  

> I think sometimes our children need some adult help when choosing a

> friend.  a little explaining that names " do hurt " and a 'friend' won't

> call you names.    Is your son involved in boyscouts? baseball? maybe

> you can call one of those boys over for a playdate and if your son is

> into fishing, movies, riding bikes.  Maybe you can arrange for them

> both to do that together with you supervising until a friendship

> develops.  Just a thought.  I wish I had more ideas for you.  When the

> boys call your son stupid.  Have him say:  takes on to know one -and

> walk away.  maybe not those exact words, but something to say back so

> your son wont feel so hurt.   Sorry he has to be around those mean

> children.   Do you have an aspergers support group near you?  If they

> have children your sons age, mayby you can all meet at a park and see

> who he gets along with???.   *smile*

>

> <hunebear3@...> wrote:

>> Kids are all so mean!! Sometimes I can completely understand why the

>> kids don't want to play with my DS... but then again he is my child!!

>> The neighborhood kids either are my son's best friend-- when they want

>> something or there's no one else to play or they hurl insults over our

>> fence at my son. The worst insult to my son is " stupid " ! He can

>> handle them calling him a sissy or " Homo " much better than being

>> called

>> stupid! But then again after they call him stupid he's real quick to

>> point out all the reason WHY he can't be stupid!! Which then makes the

>> boys all laugh and tell him to go in the house! All of the

>> neighborhood kids... which all happen to be boys play mostly with my

>> DD... which is sad! She is the one who rides bikes with them, tosses

>> the football... you know typical boy things. is now beginning

>> to notice this more! One of the boys was in the house yesterday and

>> came to me and said " it happened again " and I said what... and

>> then told me my friend is playing with ... she took him away! So

>> I made the girls and boys separate. That worked for a while!

>>

>> The friend thing is just getting worse and worse and causing

>> not to even want to go out in the yard to play. Plus some of the

>> children in the neighborhood are the kinds of kids that I don't want

>> my

>> children playing with out of my sight... if you know what I mean! They

>> have NO parent supervision and are allowed to do pretty much whatever

>> they want to do and that is NOT a good place for to be

>> especially. So sometimes I think they invite over because they

>> know I won't let him go just to see him have a breakdown in the yard.

>> Believe me and I talk about this frequently, but when the

>> moment comes... all of our talking is out the window!!!

>>

>> This job of raising an AS child is Hard... just gotta figure out how

>> to

>> lick it!! LOL

>>

>> Jackie

>> On Jul 11, 2007, at 9:18 PM, Roxanna wrote:

>>

>> > The depression part has been a problem here for my 10 yo ds.  The

>> > " friend " thing is so awful.  I think it's the worst thing of all. 

>> The

>> > kids in the neighborhood sometimes play with him but more often,

>> they

>> > tease him or exclude him.  It's been tough to deal with this stuff

>> > lately. 

>> >  

>> > Roxanna

>> > Autism Happens

>> >> Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have Asperger's!!! to

>> >> Jackie

>> >>

>> >>

>> >> This is the hard part that he sees himself as " defective " I see

>> him as

>> >> a extremely smart child that is different! The developmental doctor

>> >> also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at times I notice

>> that

>> >> he uses these words to describe himself more frequently. He also

>> calls

>> >> himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is the only one

>> who

>> >> can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his sister calls

>> him

>> >> a loser!!! We are on a " down " mood swing this week and it's very

>> ugly

>> >> around here! can't do anything himself and wants to be told

>> >> everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've got 10

>> things

>> >> going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get organized so that

>> we as

>> >> a family can STAY organized in order to help from being so

>> >> overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time crying and

>> temper

>> >> tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his youngest

>> sister!!

>> >> She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams (VERY

>> LOUDLY)

>> >> and then complains that she is screaming and hurting his ears...

>> then

>> >> he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you tell that I'm

>> >> stressed??? LOL

>> >>

>> >> This is the sad part of AS to me at least! The feelings of self

>> >> worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart and that " he

>> >> knows more than any of the other kids in his class " but he gets so

>> >> upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a bike, etc...

>> I'm

>> >> hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get his life and

>> our

>> >> family life on track and can help him to see that He is NOT

>> >> defective... just a very unique child with different great

>> qualities

>> >> that others do not possess!!

>> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:

>> >>

>> >> > ...but he calls it defective!

>> >> > my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5

>> >> > I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it. he says he

>> is a

>> >> > loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My ds even

>> blames

>> >> it

>> >> > on his own glasses for the reason he " can't do anything right "

>> >> >

>> >> >

>> >> >

>> >> >

[Guest guest]

Walter sounds awesome!!!!!I wish we had a Walter. Do you let him know what's up with ? (We're in Wisconsin.....)Robin <hunebear3@...> wrote: Rose,These are all great suggestions! is only involved in Karate right now. His only other interest is Video games. He will not participate in any group sports as he HATES sports! I am trying to locate a local support group that is more geared toward AS. There is a Special needs group that meets approx 30 minutes from my house but I think that is more of a "mom" support meeting even though children are welcomed. I just finished a Sleep Study at the Local Children's hospital and I had some great Mom's in my group and lucky for us all we have children that are all about the same age. So we are

planning on forming our own little group as soon as vacation season is over. I'm looking forward to that because the other mom's have children that are Dx with AS too! does not understand the concept of what a friend is either. He thinks when someone asks to "borrow" (which means keep in the other children's eyes) that they are his "friend". If they want to play with him ONE day out of 7 then they are his friend. Basically anyone that his "nice" to him on a one time basis is his friend! We talk about what a friend is frequently and I try to help when the boys are over, but like I said I can not trust him going to the other's boy's house as they are unsupervised. These boys are all about 10 years old and they come knocking on our door as late as 8:30 pm!! I'm sorry if I sound like a overprotective mother but my kids are usually in bed at this time... especially if it's a school night!! will do

just about anything that someone tells him to do or dares whatever it is! So that's another reason I don't feel safe allowing him to go to far from home. There is one boy that he plays with that spends the night here that is very tolerate of . He's attuned into 's problems even though he doesn't know whats wrong with him. Walter-- the friend has asked me several times why cries so easily and why he gets so mad... but he will usually try to calm down or talk him through it. He also tells the other boys to stop making fun of him! BUT... he(walter) likes to play with the other boys too and this ticks off because he thinks he should be the ONLY friend!! What a hard life to live!!!Maybe there's someone on this group that lives closeby... I live in Gallatin, TN!!! Want to hook up for a Play date?????? LOLJackieOn Jul 12, 2007, at 11:08 AM, Rose wrote:> Hi

Jackie,> The same problem here. there are a click (handful) of children that > are unsupervised under 12 and free to do what they want including > staying out till late hours. The ones that are supervised only have > scheduled playdates, have to stay in site of their parents. (like > mine).> and of course when the unsupervised boys are separated. the one > that's left home with nothing to do would come over to play with my > son. great, He has a friend??? problem is, he asked if he could have > everything my son has. He just got a fishing pole still with tags. > and the kid wanted it. I explained to my son what a 'friend' is. > also asked if he thought these boys fit that description of 'friend'. > so, he played by himself for a while. He joined a boys & girls club > and gets to play with other

children there. He also wants a 'best > friend' so bad. but right now, I'd rather him wait and play at the > boys club, than get into trouble or hurt feelings with those > unsupervised boys. I could easily see him doing something dangerous > just because he says he is strong or nothing bad can happen. (because > he doesn't understand the concept of danger). > I think sometimes our children need some adult help when choosing a > friend. a little explaining that names "do hurt" and a 'friend' won't > call you names. Is your son involved in boyscouts? baseball? maybe > you can call one of those boys over for a playdate and if your son is > into fishing, movies, riding bikes. Maybe you can arrange for them > both to do that together with you supervising until a friendship > develops. Just a thought.

I wish I had more ideas for you. When the > boys call your son stupid. Have him say: takes on to know one -and > walk away. maybe not those exact words, but something to say back so > your son wont feel so hurt. Sorry he has to be around those mean > children. Do you have an aspergers support group near you? If they > have children your sons age, mayby you can all meet at a park and see > who he gets along with???. *smile*>> wrote:>> Kids are all so mean!! Sometimes I can completely understand why the>> kids don't want to play with my DS... but then again he is my child!!>> The neighborhood kids either are my son's best friend-- when they want>> something or there's no one else to play or they hurl insults over our>> fence at my son.

The worst insult to my son is "stupid"! He can>> handle them calling him a sissy or "Homo" much better than being >> called>> stupid! But then again after they call him stupid he's real quick to>> point out all the reason WHY he can't be stupid!! Which then makes the>> boys all laugh and tell him to go in the house! All of the>> neighborhood kids... which all happen to be boys play mostly with my>> DD... which is sad! She is the one who rides bikes with them, tosses>> the football... you know typical boy things. is now beginning>> to notice this more! One of the boys was in the house yesterday and>> came to me and said "it happened again" and I said what... and>> then told me my friend is playing with ... she took him away! So>> I made the girls and boys separate. That worked for a while!>>>> The friend thing is

just getting worse and worse and causing >> not to even want to go out in the yard to play. Plus some of the>> children in the neighborhood are the kinds of kids that I don't want >> my>> children playing with out of my sight... if you know what I mean! They>> have NO parent supervision and are allowed to do pretty much whatever>> they want to do and that is NOT a good place for to be>> especially. So sometimes I think they invite over because they>> know I won't let him go just to see him have a breakdown in the yard.>> Believe me and I talk about this frequently, but when the>> moment comes... all of our talking is out the window!!!>>>> This job of raising an AS child is Hard... just gotta figure out how >> to>> lick it!! LOL>>>> Jackie>> On Jul 11, 2007, at 9:18 PM,

Roxanna wrote:>>>> > The depression part has been a problem here for my 10 yo ds. The>> > "friend" thing is so awful. I think it's the worst thing of all. >> The>> > kids in the neighborhood sometimes play with him but more often, >> they>> > tease him or exclude him. It's been tough to deal with this stuff>> > lately. >> > >> > Roxanna>> > Autism Happens>> >> Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have Asperger's!!! to>> >> Jackie>> >>>> >>>> >> This is the hard part that he sees himself as "defective" I see

>> him as>> >> a extremely smart child that is different! The developmental doctor>> >> also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at times I notice >> that>> >> he uses these words to describe himself more frequently. He also >> calls>> >> himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is the only one >> who>> >> can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his sister calls >> him>> >> a loser!!! We are on a "down" mood swing this week and it's very >> ugly>> >> around here! can't do anything himself and wants to be told>> >> everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've got 10 >> things>> >> going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get organized so that >> we as>> >> a family can STAY organized in order

to help from being so>> >> overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time crying and >> temper>> >> tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his youngest >> sister!!>> >> She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams (VERY >> LOUDLY)>> >> and then complains that she is screaming and hurting his ears... >> then>> >> he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you tell that I'm>> >> stressed??? LOL>> >>>> >> This is the sad part of AS to me at least! The feelings of self>> >> worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart and that "he>> >> knows more than any of the other kids in his class" but he gets so>> >> upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a bike, etc... >> I'm>> >> hoping that

we the new therapy appts that we can get his life and >> our>> >> family life on track and can help him to see that He is NOT>> >> defective... just a very unique child with different great >> qualities>> >> that others do not possess!!>> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:>> >>>> >> > ...but he calls it defective!>> >> > my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5>> >> > I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it. he says he >> is a>> >> > loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My ds even >> blames>> >> it>> >> > on his own glasses for the reason he "can't do anything right">> >> >>> >> >>> >> >>> >> > Autism...Solve the

Puzzle!>> >> >>> >> > Post message: >> >> >>> >> > Unsubscribe: -unsubscribe >> >> >>> >> > List owner: -owner >> >> >>> >> >>> >> >

[Guest guest]

If no one is close by, (I'm in N.Y.). Maybe others (on this site) with children the same age as your son can e-mail you off line with their e-mail address and he can have a 'pen pal'. or maybe write letters, or talk on the phone. they can be "HIS" friend. Maybe he can even have his own e-mail address. Would that interest him? <hunebear3@...> wrote: Rose,These are all great suggestions! is only involved in Karate right now. His only other interest is Video games. He will not participate in any group sports as he HATES sports! I am trying to locate a local support group that is more geared toward AS. There is a Special needs group that meets approx 30 minutes from my

house but I think that is more of a "mom" support meeting even though children are welcomed. I just finished a Sleep Study at the Local Children's hospital and I had some great Mom's in my group and lucky for us all we have children that are all about the same age. So we are planning on forming our own little group as soon as vacation season is over. I'm looking forward to that because the other mom's have children that are Dx with AS too! does not understand the concept of what a friend is either. He thinks when someone asks to "borrow" (which means keep in the other children's eyes) that they are his "friend". If they want to play with him ONE day out of 7 then they are his friend. Basically anyone that his "nice" to him on a one time basis is his friend! We talk about what a friend is frequently and I try to help when the boys are over, but like I said I can not trust him going to the other's boy's house

as they are unsupervised. These boys are all about 10 years old and they come knocking on our door as late as 8:30 pm!! I'm sorry if I sound like a overprotective mother but my kids are usually in bed at this time... especially if it's a school night!! will do just about anything that someone tells him to do or dares whatever it is! So that's another reason I don't feel safe allowing him to go to far from home. There is one boy that he plays with that spends the night here that is very tolerate of . He's attuned into 's problems even though he doesn't know whats wrong with him. Walter-- the friend has asked me several times why cries so easily and why he gets so mad... but he will usually try to calm down or talk him through it. He also tells the other boys to stop making fun of him! BUT... he(walter) likes to play with the other boys too and this ticks off because he

thinks he should be the ONLY friend!! What a hard life to live!!!Maybe there's someone on this group that lives closeby... I live in Gallatin, TN!!! Want to hook up for a Play date?????? LOLJackieOn Jul 12, 2007, at 11:08 AM, Rose wrote:> Hi Jackie,> The same problem here. there are a click (handful) of children that > are unsupervised under 12 and free to do what they want including > staying out till late hours. The ones that are supervised only have > scheduled playdates, have to stay in site of their parents. (like > mine).> and of course when the unsupervised boys are separated. the one > that's left home with nothing to do would come over to play with my > son. great, He has a friend??? problem is, he asked if he could have > everything my son has. He just got a fishing pole still with tags. > and the kid wanted

it. I explained to my son what a 'friend' is. > also asked if he thought these boys fit that description of 'friend'. > so, he played by himself for a while. He joined a boys & girls club > and gets to play with other children there. He also wants a 'best > friend' so bad. but right now, I'd rather him wait and play at the > boys club, than get into trouble or hurt feelings with those > unsupervised boys. I could easily see him doing something dangerous > just because he says he is strong or nothing bad can happen. (because > he doesn't understand the concept of danger). > I think sometimes our children need some adult help when choosing a > friend. a little explaining that names "do hurt" and a 'friend' won't > call you names. Is your son involved in boyscouts? baseball? maybe

> you can call one of those boys over for a playdate and if your son is > into fishing, movies, riding bikes. Maybe you can arrange for them > both to do that together with you supervising until a friendship > develops. Just a thought. I wish I had more ideas for you. When the > boys call your son stupid. Have him say: takes on to know one -and > walk away. maybe not those exact words, but something to say back so > your son wont feel so hurt. Sorry he has to be around those mean > children. Do you have an aspergers support group near you? If they > have children your sons age, mayby you can all meet at a park and see > who he gets along with???. *smile*>> wrote:>> Kids are all so mean!! Sometimes I can completely understand why

the>> kids don't want to play with my DS... but then again he is my child!!>> The neighborhood kids either are my son's best friend-- when they want>> something or there's no one else to play or they hurl insults over our>> fence at my son. The worst insult to my son is "stupid"! He can>> handle them calling him a sissy or "Homo" much better than being >> called>> stupid! But then again after they call him stupid he's real quick to>> point out all the reason WHY he can't be stupid!! Which then makes the>> boys all laugh and tell him to go in the house! All of the>> neighborhood kids... which all happen to be boys play mostly with my>> DD... which is sad! She is the one who rides bikes with them, tosses>> the football... you know typical boy things. is now beginning>> to notice this more! One of the boys was in the house yesterday

and>> came to me and said "it happened again" and I said what... and>> then told me my friend is playing with ... she took him away! So>> I made the girls and boys separate. That worked for a while!>>>> The friend thing is just getting worse and worse and causing >> not to even want to go out in the yard to play. Plus some of the>> children in the neighborhood are the kinds of kids that I don't want >> my>> children playing with out of my sight... if you know what I mean! They>> have NO parent supervision and are allowed to do pretty much whatever>> they want to do and that is NOT a good place for to be>> especially. So sometimes I think they invite over because they>> know I won't let him go just to see him have a breakdown in the yard.>> Believe me and I talk about this frequently, but when

the>> moment comes... all of our talking is out the window!!!>>>> This job of raising an AS child is Hard... just gotta figure out how >> to>> lick it!! LOL>>>> Jackie>> On Jul 11, 2007, at 9:18 PM, Roxanna wrote:>>>> > The depression part has been a problem here for my 10 yo ds. The>> > "friend" thing is so awful. I think it's the worst thing of all. >> The>> > kids in the neighborhood sometimes play with him but more often, >> they>> > tease him or exclude him. It's been tough to deal with this stuff>> > lately. >> > >> > Roxanna>> > Autism Happens>> >> Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have Asperger's!!! to>> >> Jackie>> >>>> >>>> >> This is the hard part that he sees himself as "defective" I see >> him as>> >> a extremely smart child that is different! The developmental doctor>> >> also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at times I notice >> that>> >> he uses these words to describe himself more frequently. He also >> calls>> >> himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is the only one >> who>> >> can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his sister calls >> him>> >> a loser!!! We are on a "down" mood swing this week and it's very >> ugly>> >> around here! can't do anything himself and wants

to be told>> >> everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've got 10 >> things>> >> going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get organized so that >> we as>> >> a family can STAY organized in order to help from being so>> >> overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time crying and >> temper>> >> tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his youngest >> sister!!>> >> She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams (VERY >> LOUDLY)>> >> and then complains that she is screaming and hurting his ears... >> then>> >> he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you tell that I'm>> >> stressed??? LOL>> >>>> >> This is the sad part of AS to me at least! The feelings of self>> >>

worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart and that "he>> >> knows more than any of the other kids in his class" but he gets so>> >> upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a bike, etc... >> I'm>> >> hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get his life and >> our>> >> family life on track and can help him to see that He is NOT>> >> defective... just a very unique child with different great >> qualities>> >> that others do not possess!!>> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:>> >>>> >> > ...but he calls it defective!>> >> > my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5>> >> > I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it. he says he >> is a>> >> > loser but gets mad if his brother calls him

one. My ds even >> blames>> >> it>> >> > on his own glasses for the reason he "can't do anything right">> >> >>> >> >>> >> >>> >> >

[Guest guest]

I just asked him and he's dancing around singing YES YES YES!! So I'm

guessing that he would love to have an email pen pal!! His name is

and he will be 11 years old in December. I'll set him up an

email account tonight!!!

I don't think there is anyone on this group that is close by... but we

shall see! But for now the email thing would be perfect!

Jackie

On Jul 12, 2007, at 5:56 PM, Rose wrote:

> If no one is close by, (I'm in N.Y.).  Maybe others (on this

> site) with children the same age as your son  can e-mail you off line

> with their e-mail address and he can have a 'pen pal'.  or maybe write

> letters, or talk on the phone.  they can be " HIS " friend. Maybe he can

> even have his own e-mail address.   Would that interest him?

>  

>  

>  

>

> <hunebear3@...> wrote:

>> Rose,

>>

>> These are all great suggestions! is only involved in Karate

>> right now. His only other interest is Video games. He will not

>> participate in any group sports as he HATES sports! I am trying to

>> locate a local support group that is more geared toward AS. There is a

>> Special needs group that meets approx 30 minutes from my house but I

>> think that is more of a " mom " support meeting even though children are

>> welcomed. I just finished a Sleep Study at the Local Children's

>> hospital and I had some great Mom's in my group and lucky for us all

>> we

>> have children that are all about the same age. So we are planning on

>> forming our own little group as soon as vacation season is over. I'm

>> looking forward to that because the other mom's have children that are

>> Dx with AS too!

>>

>> does not understand the concept of what a friend is either. He

>> thinks when someone asks to " borrow " (which means keep in the other

>> children's eyes) that they are his " friend " . If they want to play with

>> him ONE day out of 7 then they are his friend. Basically anyone that

>> his " nice " to him on a one time basis is his friend! We talk about

>> what a friend is frequently and I try to help when the boys are over,

>> but like I said I can not trust him going to the other's boy's house

>> as

>> they are unsupervised. These boys are all about 10 years old and they

>> come knocking on our door as late as 8:30 pm!! I'm sorry if I sound

>> like a overprotective mother but my kids are usually in bed at this

>> time... especially if it's a school night!!

>>

>> will do just about anything that someone tells him to do or

>> dares whatever it is! So that's another reason I don't feel safe

>> allowing him to go to far from home. There is one boy that he plays

>> with that spends the night here that is very tolerate of . He's

>> attuned into 's problems even though he doesn't know whats

>> wrong

>> with him. Walter-- the friend has asked me several times why

>> cries so easily and why he gets so mad... but he will usually try to

>> calm down or talk him through it. He also tells the other boys

>> to stop making fun of him! BUT... he(walter) likes to play with the

>> other boys too and this ticks off because he thinks he should

>> be the ONLY friend!! What a hard life to live!!!

>>

>> Maybe there's someone on this group that lives closeby... I live in

>> Gallatin, TN!!! Want to hook up for a Play date?????? LOL

>>

>> Jackie

>> On Jul 12, 2007, at 11:08 AM, Rose wrote:

>>

>> > Hi Jackie,

>> > The same problem here.  there are a click (handful) of children that

>> > are unsupervised under 12 and free to do what they want including

>> > staying out till late hours.  The ones that are supervised only have

>> > scheduled playdates, have to stay in site of their parents. (like

>> > mine).

>> > and of course when the unsupervised boys are separated.  the one

>> > that's left home with nothing to do would come over to play with my

>> > son.  great, He has a friend???  problem is, he asked if he could

>> have

>> > everything my son has.  He just got a fishing pole still with tags. 

>> > and the kid wanted it.  I explained to my son what a 'friend' is. 

>> > also asked if he thought these boys fit that description of

>> 'friend'. 

>> > so, he played by himself for a while.  He joined a boys & girls club

>> > and gets to play with other children there.   He also wants a 'best

>> > friend' so bad.  but right now, I'd rather him wait and play at the

>> > boys club, than get into trouble or hurt feelings with those

>> > unsupervised boys.  I could easily see him doing something dangerous

>> > just because he says he is strong or nothing bad can happen.

>> (because

>> > he doesn't understand the concept of danger).  

>> > I think sometimes our children need some adult help when choosing a

>> > friend.  a little explaining that names " do hurt " and a 'friend'

>> won't

>> > call you names.    Is your son involved in boyscouts? baseball?

>> maybe

>> > you can call one of those boys over for a playdate and if your son

>> is

>> > into fishing, movies, riding bikes.  Maybe you can arrange for them

>> > both to do that together with you supervising until a friendship

>> > develops.  Just a thought.  I wish I had more ideas for you.  When

>> the

>> > boys call your son stupid.  Have him say:  takes on to know one -and

>> > walk away.  maybe not those exact words, but something to say

>> back so

>> > your son wont feel so hurt.   Sorry he has to be around those mean

>> > children.   Do you have an aspergers support group near you?  If

>> they

>> > have children your sons age, mayby you can all meet at a park and

>> see

>> > who he gets along with???.   *smile*

>> >

>> > wrote:

>> >> Kids are all so mean!! Sometimes I can completely understand why

>> the

>> >> kids don't want to play with my DS... but then again he is my

>> child!!

>> >> The neighborhood kids either are my son's best friend-- when they

>> want

>> >> something or there's no one else to play or they hurl insults over

>> our

>> >> fence at my son. The worst insult to my son is " stupid " ! He can

>> >> handle them calling him a sissy or " Homo " much better than being

>> >> called

>> >> stupid! But then again after they call him stupid he's real quick

>> to

>> >> point out all the reason WHY he can't be stupid!! Which then makes

>> the

>> >> boys all laugh and tell him to go in the house! All of the

>> >> neighborhood kids... which all happen to be boys play mostly with

>> my

>> >> DD... which is sad! She is the one who rides bikes with them,

>> tosses

>> >> the football... you know typical boy things. is now

>> beginning

>> >> to notice this more! One of the boys was in the house yesterday and

>> >> came to me and said " it happened again " and I said what...

>> and

>> >> then told me my friend is playing with ... she took him away!

>> So

>> >> I made the girls and boys separate. That worked for a while!

>> >>

>> >> The friend thing is just getting worse and worse and causing

>>

>> >> not to even want to go out in the yard to play. Plus some of the

>> >> children in the neighborhood are the kinds of kids that I don't

>> want

>> >> my

>> >> children playing with out of my sight... if you know what I mean!

>> They

>> >> have NO parent supervision and are allowed to do pretty much

>> whatever

>> >> they want to do and that is NOT a good place for to be

>> >> especially. So sometimes I think they invite over because

>> they

>> >> know I won't let him go just to see him have a breakdown in the

>> yard.

>> >> Believe me and I talk about this frequently, but when the

>> >> moment comes... all of our talking is out the window!!!

>> >>

>> >> This job of raising an AS child is Hard... just gotta figure out

>> how

>> >> to

>> >> lick it!! LOL

>> >>

>> >> Jackie

>> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 9:18 PM, Roxanna wrote:

>> >>

>> >> > The depression part has been a problem here for my 10 yo ds.  The

>> >> > " friend " thing is so awful.  I think it's the worst thing of

>> all. 

>> >> The

>> >> > kids in the neighborhood sometimes play with him but more often,

>> >> they

>> >> > tease him or exclude him.  It's been tough to deal with this

>> stuff

>> >> > lately. 

>> >> >  

>> >> > Roxanna

>> >> > Autism Happens

>> >> >> Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have Asperger's!!!

>> to

>> >> >> Jackie

>> >> >>

>> >> >>

>> >> >> This is the hard part that he sees himself as " defective " I see

>> >> him as

>> >> >> a extremely smart child that is different! The developmental

>> doctor

>> >> >> also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at times I notice

>> >> that

>> >> >> he uses these words to describe himself more frequently. He also

>> >> calls

>> >> >> himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is the only

>> one

>> >> who

>> >> >> can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his sister

>> calls

>> >> him

>> >> >> a loser!!! We are on a " down " mood swing this week and it's very

>> >> ugly

>> >> >> around here! can't do anything himself and wants to be

>> told

>> >> >> everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've got 10

>> >> things

>> >> >> going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get organized so that

>> >> we as

>> >> >> a family can STAY organized in order to help from being

>> so

>> >> >> overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time crying and

>> >> temper

>> >> >> tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his youngest

>> >> sister!!

>> >> >> She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams (VERY

>> >> LOUDLY)

>> >> >> and then complains that she is screaming and hurting his ears...

>> >> then

>> >> >> he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you tell that

>> I'm

>> >> >> stressed??? LOL

>> >> >>

>> >> >> This is the sad part of AS to me at least! The feelings of self

>> >> >> worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart and that

>> " he

>> >> >> knows more than any of the other kids in his class " but he gets

>> so

>> >> >> upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a bike, etc...

>> >> I'm

>> >> >> hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get his life

>> and

>> >> our

>> >> >> family life on track and can help him to see that He is NOT

>> >> >> defective... just a very unique child with different great

>> >> qualities

>> >> >> that others do not possess!!

>> >> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:

>> >> >>

>> >> >> > ...but he calls it defective!

>> >> >> > my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5

>> >> >> > I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it. he says

>> he

>> >> is a

>> >> >> > loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My ds even

>> >> blames

>> >> >> it

>> >> >> > on his own glasses for the reason he " can't do anything right "

>> >> >> >

>> >> >> >

>> >> >> >

>> >> >> >

[Guest guest]

Walter is a great kid! Has a rough home life so I think he likes to

come to our house because we have a family... you know mom and dad in

the same house. He's being raised by his Grandmother and has limited

contact with his mom.

I haven't told him that has AS but I have told him that

has trouble dealing with difficult situations and that is why he gets

upset easily or cries. The last time Walter was over got over

stimulated by the Video Games and got mad because Walter wouldn't play

his way. So walter told him " It's just a game " and of course we all

know what this did to !! HE BLEW HIS TOP!!! I just had walter

come out of the room until was calming down. He(walter) went

back in there and told him that it wasn't nice that he was yelling at

everyone and that he would only play games with again if he

would stay calm.

has another Friend at school named . has a brother

who is HFA! SO once again we have someone that can understand about

. I talked to 's mom when spent the night over

there and explained about how important it was that he take his meds

and I told her what was wrong with . It was great because she

completely understand because of Her own son!! She also went on and on

about how polite was when he was over there! will also

tell " stop it, you are getting on my nerves! " Which I love

because it's just blunt and to the point and usually gets it!

One problem... doesn't like to share his friend with anyone!

He can't understand WHY would want any other friends except

him!!! A whole nother story! :-)

Jackie

On Jul 12, 2007, at 4:06 PM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:

> Walter sounds awesome!!!!!

> I wish we had a Walter.  Do you let him know what's up with ?

> (We're in Wisconsin.....)

> Robin

> <hunebear3@...> wrote:

>> Rose,

>>

>> These are all great suggestions! is only involved in Karate

>> right now. His only other interest is Video games. He will not

>> participate in any group sports as he HATES sports! I am trying to

>> locate a local support group that is more geared toward AS. There is a

>> Special needs group that meets approx 30 minutes from my house but I

>> think that is more of a " mom " support meeting even though children are

>> welcomed. I just finished a Sleep Study at the Local Children's

>> hospital and I had some great Mom's in my group and lucky for us all

>> we

>> have children that are all about the same age. So we are planning on

>> forming our own little group as soon as vacation season is over. I'm

>> looking forward to that because the other mom's have children that are

>> Dx with AS too!

>>

>> does not understand the concept of what a friend is either. He

>> thinks when someone asks to " borrow " (which means keep in the other

>> children's eyes) that they are his " friend " . If they want to play with

>> him ONE day out of 7 then they are his friend. Basically anyone that

>> his " nice " to him on a one time basis is his friend! We talk about

>> what a friend is frequently and I try to help when the boys are over,

>> but like I said I can not trust him going to the other's boy's house

>> as

>> they are unsupervised. These boys are all about 10 years old and they

>> come knocking on our door as late as 8:30 pm!! I'm sorry if I sound

>> like a overprotective mother but my kids are usually in bed at this

>> time... especially if it's a school night!!

>>

>> will do just about anything that someone tells him to do or

>> dares whatever it is! So that's another reason I don't feel safe

>> allowing him to go to far from home. There is one boy that he plays

>> with that spends the night here that is very tolerate of . He's

>> attuned into 's problems even though he doesn't know whats

>> wrong

>> with him. Walter-- the friend has asked me several times why

>> cries so easily and why he gets so mad... but he will usually try to

>> calm down or talk him through it. He also tells the other boys

>> to stop making fun of him! BUT... he(walter) likes to play with the

>> other boys too and this ticks off because he thinks he should

>> be the ONLY friend!! What a hard life to live!!!

>>

>> Maybe there's someone on this group that lives closeby... I live in

>> Gallatin, TN!!! Want to hook up for a Play date?????? LOL

>>

>> Jackie

>> On Jul 12, 2007, at 11:08 AM, Rose wrote:

>>

>> > Hi Jackie,

>> > The same problem here.  there are a click (handful) of children that

>> > are unsupervised under 12 and free to do what they want including

>> > staying out till late hours.  The ones that are supervised only have

>> > scheduled playdates, have to stay in site of their parents. (like

>> > mine).

>> > and of course when the unsupervised boys are separated.  the one

>> > that's left home with nothing to do would come over to play with my

>> > son.  great, He has a friend???  problem is, he asked if he could

>> have

>> > everything my son has.  He just got a fishing pole still with tags. 

>> > and the kid wanted it.  I explained to my son what a 'friend' is. 

>> > also asked if he thought these boys fit that description of

>> 'friend'. 

>> > so, he played by himself for a while.  He joined a boys & girls club

>> > and gets to play with other children there.   He also wants a 'best

>> > friend' so bad.  but right now, I'd rather him wait and play at the

>> > boys club, than get into trouble or hurt feelings with those

>> > unsupervised boys.  I could easily see him doing something dangerous

>> > just because he says he is strong or nothing bad can happen.

>> (because

>> > he doesn't understand the concept of danger).  

>> > I think sometimes our children need some adult help when choosing a

>> > friend.  a little explaining that names " do hurt " and a 'friend'

>> won't

>> > call you names.    Is your son involved in boyscouts? baseball?

>> maybe

>> > you can call one of those boys over for a playdate and if your son

>> is

>> > into fishing, movies, riding bikes.  Maybe you can arrange for them

>> > both to do that together with you supervising until a friendship

>> > develops.  Just a thought.  I wish I had more ideas for you.  When

>> the

>> > boys call your son stupid.  Have him say:  takes on to know one -and

>> > walk away.  maybe not those exact words, but something to say

>> back so

>> > your son wont feel so hurt.   Sorry he has to be around those mean

>> > children.   Do you have an aspergers support group near you?  If

>> they

>> > have children your sons age, mayby you can all meet at a park and

>> see

>> > who he gets along with???.   *smile*

>> >

>> > wrote:

>> >> Kids are all so mean!! Sometimes I can completely understand why

>> the

>> >> kids don't want to play with my DS... but then again he is my

>> child!!

>> >> The neighborhood kids either are my son's best friend-- when they

>> want

>> >> something or there's no one else to play or they hurl insults over

>> our

>> >> fence at my son. The worst insult to my son is " stupid " ! He can

>> >> handle them calling him a sissy or " Homo " much better than being

>> >> called

>> >> stupid! But then again after they call him stupid he's real quick

>> to

>> >> point out all the reason WHY he can't be stupid!! Which then makes

>> the

>> >> boys all laugh and tell him to go in the house! All of the

>> >> neighborhood kids... which all happen to be boys play mostly with

>> my

>> >> DD... which is sad! She is the one who rides bikes with them,

>> tosses

>> >> the football... you know typical boy things. is now

>> beginning

>> >> to notice this more! One of the boys was in the house yesterday and

>> >> came to me and said " it happened again " and I said what...

>> and

>> >> then told me my friend is playing with ... she took him away!

>> So

>> >> I made the girls and boys separate. That worked for a while!

>> >>

>> >> The friend thing is just getting worse and worse and causing

>>

>> >> not to even want to go out in the yard to play. Plus some of the

>> >> children in the neighborhood are the kinds of kids that I don't

>> want

>> >> my

>> >> children playing with out of my sight... if you know what I mean!

>> They

>> >> have NO parent supervision and are allowed to do pretty much

>> whatever

>> >> they want to do and that is NOT a good place for to be

>> >> especially. So sometimes I think they invite over because

>> they

>> >> know I won't let him go just to see him have a breakdown in the

>> yard.

>> >> Believe me and I talk about this frequently, but when the

>> >> moment comes... all of our talking is out the window!!!

>> >>

>> >> This job of raising an AS child is Hard... just gotta figure out

>> how

>> >> to

>> >> lick it!! LOL

>> >>

>> >> Jackie

>> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 9:18 PM, Roxanna wrote:

>> >>

>> >> > The depression part has been a problem here for my 10 yo ds.  The

>> >> > " friend " thing is so awful.  I think it's the worst thing of

>> all. 

>> >> The

>> >> > kids in the neighborhood sometimes play with him but more often,

>> >> they

>> >> > tease him or exclude him.  It's been tough to deal with this

>> stuff

>> >> > lately. 

>> >> >  

>> >> > Roxanna

>> >> > Autism Happens

>> >> >> Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have Asperger's!!!

>> to

>> >> >> Jackie

>> >> >>

>> >> >>

>> >> >> This is the hard part that he sees himself as " defective " I see

>> >> him as

>> >> >> a extremely smart child that is different! The developmental

>> doctor

>> >> >> also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at times I notice

>> >> that

>> >> >> he uses these words to describe himself more frequently. He also

>> >> calls

>> >> >> himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is the only

>> one

>> >> who

>> >> >> can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his sister

>> calls

>> >> him

>> >> >> a loser!!! We are on a " down " mood swing this week and it's very

>> >> ugly

>> >> >> around here! can't do anything himself and wants to be

>> told

>> >> >> everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've got 10

>> >> things

>> >> >> going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get organized so that

>> >> we as

>> >> >> a family can STAY organized in order to help from being

>> so

>> >> >> overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time crying and

>> >> temper

>> >> >> tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his youngest

>> >> sister!!

>> >> >> She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams (VERY

>> >> LOUDLY)

>> >> >> and then complains that she is screaming and hurting his ears...

>> >> then

>> >> >> he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you tell that

>> I'm

>> >> >> stressed??? LOL

>> >> >>

>> >> >> This is the sad part of AS to me at least! The feelings of self

>> >> >> worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart and that

>> " he

>> >> >> knows more than any of the other kids in his class " but he gets

>> so

>> >> >> upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a bike, etc...

>> >> I'm

>> >> >> hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get his life

>> and

>> >> our

>> >> >> family life on track and can help him to see that He is NOT

>> >> >> defective... just a very unique child with different great

>> >> qualities

>> >> >> that others do not possess!!

>> >> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:

>> >> >>

>> >> >> > ...but he calls it defective!

>> >> >> > my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5

>> >> >> > I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it. he says

>> he

>> >> is a

>> >> >> > loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My ds even

>> >> blames

>> >> >> it

>> >> >> > on his own glasses for the reason he " can't do anything right "

>> >> >> >

>> >> >> >

>> >> >> >

>> >> >> >

[Guest guest]

Great. my son is 10. If would like to e-mail him. He can use my address, and in the subject space: put 'pen-pal' and we will know its for him. Would you like to use nick names? As soon as my son gets out of the shower, I'll let him know he has a pen-pal. LOL <hunebear3@...> wrote: I just asked him and he's dancing around singing YES YES YES!! So I'm guessing that he would love to have an email pen pal!! His name is and he will be 11 years old in December. I'll set him up an email account tonight!!!I don't think there is anyone on this group that is close by... but we shall see! But for now the email thing would be perfect!JackieOn Jul 12, 2007, at 5:56 PM, Rose

wrote:> If no one is close by, (I'm in N.Y.). Maybe others (on this > site) with children the same age as your son can e-mail you off line > with their e-mail address and he can have a 'pen pal'. or maybe write > letters, or talk on the phone. they can be "HIS" friend. Maybe he can > even have his own e-mail address. Would that interest him?> > > >> wrote:>> Rose,>>>> These are all great suggestions! is only involved in Karate>> right now. His only other interest is Video games. He will not>> participate in any group sports as he HATES sports! I am trying to>> locate a local support group that is more geared toward AS. There is a>> Special needs group that meets approx 30 minutes from my house but I>> think

that is more of a "mom" support meeting even though children are>> welcomed. I just finished a Sleep Study at the Local Children's>> hospital and I had some great Mom's in my group and lucky for us all >> we>> have children that are all about the same age. So we are planning on>> forming our own little group as soon as vacation season is over. I'm>> looking forward to that because the other mom's have children that are>> Dx with AS too!>>>> does not understand the concept of what a friend is either. He>> thinks when someone asks to "borrow" (which means keep in the other>> children's eyes) that they are his "friend". If they want to play with>> him ONE day out of 7 then they are his friend. Basically anyone that>> his "nice" to him on a one time basis is his friend! We talk about>> what a friend is frequently and I try to help

when the boys are over,>> but like I said I can not trust him going to the other's boy's house >> as>> they are unsupervised. These boys are all about 10 years old and they>> come knocking on our door as late as 8:30 pm!! I'm sorry if I sound>> like a overprotective mother but my kids are usually in bed at this>> time... especially if it's a school night!!>>>> will do just about anything that someone tells him to do or>> dares whatever it is! So that's another reason I don't feel safe>> allowing him to go to far from home. There is one boy that he plays>> with that spends the night here that is very tolerate of . He's>> attuned into 's problems even though he doesn't know whats >> wrong>> with him. Walter-- the friend has asked me several times why >> cries so easily and why he gets so mad... but

he will usually try to>> calm down or talk him through it. He also tells the other boys>> to stop making fun of him! BUT... he(walter) likes to play with the>> other boys too and this ticks off because he thinks he should>> be the ONLY friend!! What a hard life to live!!!>>>> Maybe there's someone on this group that lives closeby... I live in>> Gallatin, TN!!! Want to hook up for a Play date?????? LOL>>>> Jackie>> On Jul 12, 2007, at 11:08 AM, Rose wrote:>>>> > Hi Jackie,>> > The same problem here. there are a click (handful) of children that>> > are unsupervised under 12 and free to do what they want including>> > staying out till late hours. The ones that are supervised only have>> > scheduled playdates, have to stay in site of their parents. (like>> >

mine).>> > and of course when the unsupervised boys are separated. the one>> > that's left home with nothing to do would come over to play with my>> > son. great, He has a friend??? problem is, he asked if he could >> have>> > everything my son has. He just got a fishing pole still with tags. >> > and the kid wanted it. I explained to my son what a 'friend' is. >> > also asked if he thought these boys fit that description of >> 'friend'. >> > so, he played by himself for a while. He joined a boys & girls club>> > and gets to play with other children there. He also wants a 'best>> > friend' so bad. but right now, I'd rather him wait and play at the>> > boys club, than get into trouble or hurt feelings with those>> >

unsupervised boys. I could easily see him doing something dangerous>> > just because he says he is strong or nothing bad can happen. >> (because>> > he doesn't understand the concept of danger). >> > I think sometimes our children need some adult help when choosing a>> > friend. a little explaining that names "do hurt" and a 'friend' >> won't>> > call you names. Is your son involved in boyscouts? baseball? >> maybe>> > you can call one of those boys over for a playdate and if your son >> is>> > into fishing, movies, riding bikes. Maybe you can arrange for them>> > both to do that together with you supervising until a friendship>> > develops. Just a thought. I wish I had more ideas for you. When >> the>> > boys call your

son stupid. Have him say: takes on to know one -and>> > walk away. maybe not those exact words, but something to say >> back so>> > your son wont feel so hurt. Sorry he has to be around those mean>> > children. Do you have an aspergers support group near you? If >> they>> > have children your sons age, mayby you can all meet at a park and >> see>> > who he gets along with???. *smile*>> >>> > wrote:>> >> Kids are all so mean!! Sometimes I can completely understand why >> the>> >> kids don't want to play with my DS... but then again he is my >> child!!>> >> The neighborhood kids either are my son's best friend-- when they >> want>> >> something or there's no

one else to play or they hurl insults over >> our>> >> fence at my son. The worst insult to my son is "stupid"! He can>> >> handle them calling him a sissy or "Homo" much better than being>> >> called>> >> stupid! But then again after they call him stupid he's real quick >> to>> >> point out all the reason WHY he can't be stupid!! Which then makes >> the>> >> boys all laugh and tell him to go in the house! All of the>> >> neighborhood kids... which all happen to be boys play mostly with >> my>> >> DD... which is sad! She is the one who rides bikes with them, >> tosses>> >> the football... you know typical boy things. is now >> beginning>> >> to notice this more! One of the boys was in the house yesterday and>> >> came to me

and said "it happened again" and I said what... >> and>> >> then told me my friend is playing with ... she took him away! >> So>> >> I made the girls and boys separate. That worked for a while!>> >>>> >> The friend thing is just getting worse and worse and causing >> >> >> not to even want to go out in the yard to play. Plus some of the>> >> children in the neighborhood are the kinds of kids that I don't >> want>> >> my>> >> children playing with out of my sight... if you know what I mean! >> They>> >> have NO parent supervision and are allowed to do pretty much >> whatever>> >> they want to do and that is NOT a good place for to be>> >> especially. So sometimes I think they invite over because >>

they>> >> know I won't let him go just to see him have a breakdown in the >> yard.>> >> Believe me and I talk about this frequently, but when the>> >> moment comes... all of our talking is out the window!!!>> >>>> >> This job of raising an AS child is Hard... just gotta figure out >> how>> >> to>> >> lick it!! LOL>> >>>> >> Jackie>> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 9:18 PM, Roxanna wrote:>> >>>> >> > The depression part has been a problem here for my 10 yo ds. The>> >> > "friend" thing is so awful. I think it's the worst thing of >> all. >> >> The>> >> > kids in the neighborhood sometimes play with him but more often,>> >> they>> >> > tease him or

exclude him. It's been tough to deal with this >> stuff>> >> > lately. >> >> > >> >> > Roxanna>> >> > Autism Happens>> >> >> Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have Asperger's!!! >> to>> >> >> Jackie>> >> >>>> >> >>>> >> >> This is the hard part that he sees himself as "defective" I see>> >> him as>> >> >> a extremely smart child that is different! The developmental >> doctor>> >> >> also has concerns that he could be bi polar so

at times I notice>> >> that>> >> >> he uses these words to describe himself more frequently. He also>> >> calls>> >> >> himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is the only >> one>> >> who>> >> >> can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his sister >> calls>> >> him>> >> >> a loser!!! We are on a "down" mood swing this week and it's very>> >> ugly>> >> >> around here! can't do anything himself and wants to be >> told>> >> >> everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've got 10>> >> things>> >> >> going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get organized so that>> >> we as>> >> >> a family can STAY organized in order to help

from being >> so>> >> >> overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time crying and>> >> temper>> >> >> tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his youngest>> >> sister!!>> >> >> She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams (VERY>> >> LOUDLY)>> >> >> and then complains that she is screaming and hurting his ears...>> >> then>> >> >> he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you tell that >> I'm>> >> >> stressed??? LOL>> >> >>>> >> >> This is the sad part of AS to me at least! The feelings of self>> >> >> worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart and that >> "he>> >> >> knows more than any of the other kids in his class"

but he gets >> so>> >> >> upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a bike, etc...>> >> I'm>> >> >> hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get his life >> and>> >> our>> >> >> family life on track and can help him to see that He is NOT>> >> >> defective... just a very unique child with different great>> >> qualities>> >> >> that others do not possess!!>> >> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:>> >> >>>> >> >> > ...but he calls it defective!>> >> >> > my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5>> >> >> > I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it. he says >> he>> >> is a>> >> >> > loser but

gets mad if his brother calls him one. My ds even>> >> blames>> >> >> it>> >> >> > on his own glasses for the reason he "can't do anything right">> >> >> >>> >> >> >>> >> >> >>> >> >> >

[Guest guest]

No, I'm fine with real names! For now... just use my regular email

address for too! I'll set up a folder on my computer for so

that he can see when he has " pen pal " email! It's going to be so

excited.

Thanks Rose!!

Jackie

On Jul 12, 2007, at 7:43 PM, Rose wrote:

> Great.  my son is 10.  If would like to e-mail him.  He can

> use my address, and in the subject space:  put 'pen-pal' and we will

> know its for him.  Would you like to use nick names?

> As soon as my son gets out of the shower, I'll let him know he has a

> pen-pal.  LOL 

>

> <hunebear3@...> wrote:

>> I just asked him and he's dancing around singing YES YES YES!! So I'm

>> guessing that he would love to have an email pen pal!! His name is

>> and he will be 11 years old in December. I'll set him up an

>> email account tonight!!!

>>

>> I don't think there is anyone on this group that is close by... but we

>> shall see! But for now the email thing would be perfect!

>>

>> Jackie

>> On Jul 12, 2007, at 5:56 PM, Rose wrote:

>>

>> > If no one is close by, (I'm in N.Y.).  Maybe others (on this

>> > site) with children the same age as your son  can e-mail you off

>> line

>> > with their e-mail address and he can have a 'pen pal'.  or maybe

>> write

>> > letters, or talk on the phone.  they can be " HIS " friend. Maybe he

>> can

>> > even have his own e-mail address.   Would that interest him?

>> >  

>> >  

>> >  

>> >

>> > wrote:

>> >> Rose,

>> >>

>> >> These are all great suggestions! is only involved in Karate

>> >> right now. His only other interest is Video games. He will not

>> >> participate in any group sports as he HATES sports! I am trying to

>> >> locate a local support group that is more geared toward AS. There

>> is a

>> >> Special needs group that meets approx 30 minutes from my house but

>> I

>> >> think that is more of a " mom " support meeting even though children

>> are

>> >> welcomed. I just finished a Sleep Study at the Local Children's

>> >> hospital and I had some great Mom's in my group and lucky for us

>> all

>> >> we

>> >> have children that are all about the same age. So we are planning

>> on

>> >> forming our own little group as soon as vacation season is over.

>> I'm

>> >> looking forward to that because the other mom's have children that

>> are

>> >> Dx with AS too!

>> >>

>> >> does not understand the concept of what a friend is

>> either. He

>> >> thinks when someone asks to " borrow " (which means keep in the other

>> >> children's eyes) that they are his " friend " . If they want to play

>> with

>> >> him ONE day out of 7 then they are his friend. Basically anyone

>> that

>> >> his " nice " to him on a one time basis is his friend! We talk about

>> >> what a friend is frequently and I try to help when the boys are

>> over,

>> >> but like I said I can not trust him going to the other's boy's

>> house

>> >> as

>> >> they are unsupervised. These boys are all about 10 years old and

>> they

>> >> come knocking on our door as late as 8:30 pm!! I'm sorry if I sound

>> >> like a overprotective mother but my kids are usually in bed at this

>> >> time... especially if it's a school night!!

>> >>

>> >> will do just about anything that someone tells him to do or

>> >> dares whatever it is! So that's another reason I don't feel safe

>> >> allowing him to go to far from home. There is one boy that he plays

>> >> with that spends the night here that is very tolerate of .

>> He's

>> >> attuned into 's problems even though he doesn't know whats

>> >> wrong

>> >> with him. Walter-- the friend has asked me several times why

>>

>> >> cries so easily and why he gets so mad... but he will usually try

>> to

>> >> calm down or talk him through it. He also tells the other

>> boys

>> >> to stop making fun of him! BUT... he(walter) likes to play with the

>> >> other boys too and this ticks off because he thinks he

>> should

>> >> be the ONLY friend!! What a hard life to live!!!

>> >>

>> >> Maybe there's someone on this group that lives closeby... I live in

>> >> Gallatin, TN!!! Want to hook up for a Play date?????? LOL

>> >>

>> >> Jackie

>> >> On Jul 12, 2007, at 11:08 AM, Rose wrote:

>> >>

>> >> > Hi Jackie,

>> >> > The same problem here.  there are a click (handful) of children

>> that

>> >> > are unsupervised under 12 and free to do what they want including

>> >> > staying out till late hours.  The ones that are supervised only

>> have

>> >> > scheduled playdates, have to stay in site of their parents. (like

>> >> > mine).

>> >> > and of course when the unsupervised boys are separated.  the one

>> >> > that's left home with nothing to do would come over to play with

>> my

>> >> > son.  great, He has a friend???  problem is, he asked if he could

>> >> have

>> >> > everything my son has.  He just got a fishing pole still with

>> tags. 

>> >> > and the kid wanted it.  I explained to my son what a 'friend'

>> is. 

>> >> > also asked if he thought these boys fit that description of

>> >> 'friend'. 

>> >> > so, he played by himself for a while.  He joined a boys &

>> girls club

>> >> > and gets to play with other children there.   He also wants a

>> 'best

>> >> > friend' so bad.  but right now, I'd rather him wait and play at

>> the

>> >> > boys club, than get into trouble or hurt feelings with those

>> >> > unsupervised boys.  I could easily see him doing something

>> dangerous

>> >> > just because he says he is strong or nothing bad can happen.

>> >> (because

>> >> > he doesn't understand the concept of danger).  

>> >> > I think sometimes our children need some adult help when

>> choosing a

>> >> > friend.  a little explaining that names " do hurt " and a 'friend'

>> >> won't

>> >> > call you names.    Is your son involved in boyscouts? baseball?

>> >> maybe

>> >> > you can call one of those boys over for a playdate and if your

>> son

>> >> is

>> >> > into fishing, movies, riding bikes.  Maybe you can arrange for

>> them

>> >> > both to do that together with you supervising until a friendship

>> >> > develops.  Just a thought.  I wish I had more ideas for you. 

>> When

>> >> the

>> >> > boys call your son stupid.  Have him say:  takes on to know one

>> -and

>> >> > walk away.  maybe not those exact words, but something to say

>> >> back so

>> >> > your son wont feel so hurt.   Sorry he has to be around those

>> mean

>> >> > children.   Do you have an aspergers support group near you?  If

>> >> they

>> >> > have children your sons age, mayby you can all meet at a park and

>> >> see

>> >> > who he gets along with???.   *smile*

>> >> >

>> >> > wrote:

>> >> >> Kids are all so mean!! Sometimes I can completely understand why

>> >> the

>> >> >> kids don't want to play with my DS... but then again he is my

>> >> child!!

>> >> >> The neighborhood kids either are my son's best friend-- when

>> they

>> >> want

>> >> >> something or there's no one else to play or they hurl insults

>> over

>> >> our

>> >> >> fence at my son. The worst insult to my son is " stupid " ! He can

>> >> >> handle them calling him a sissy or " Homo " much better than being

>> >> >> called

>> >> >> stupid! But then again after they call him stupid he's real

>> quick

>> >> to

>> >> >> point out all the reason WHY he can't be stupid!! Which then

>> makes

>> >> the

>> >> >> boys all laugh and tell him to go in the house! All of the

>> >> >> neighborhood kids... which all happen to be boys play mostly

>> with

>> >> my

>> >> >> DD... which is sad! She is the one who rides bikes with them,

>> >> tosses

>> >> >> the football... you know typical boy things. is now

>> >> beginning

>> >> >> to notice this more! One of the boys was in the house yesterday

>> and

>> >> >> came to me and said " it happened again " and I said

>> what...

>> >> and

>> >> >> then told me my friend is playing with ... she took him

>> away!

>> >> So

>> >> >> I made the girls and boys separate. That worked for a while!

>> >> >>

>> >> >> The friend thing is just getting worse and worse and causing

>> >>

>> >> >> not to even want to go out in the yard to play. Plus some of the

>> >> >> children in the neighborhood are the kinds of kids that I don't

>> >> want

>> >> >> my

>> >> >> children playing with out of my sight... if you know what I

>> mean!

>> >> They

>> >> >> have NO parent supervision and are allowed to do pretty much

>> >> whatever

>> >> >> they want to do and that is NOT a good place for to be

>> >> >> especially. So sometimes I think they invite over

>> because

>> >> they

>> >> >> know I won't let him go just to see him have a breakdown in the

>> >> yard.

>> >> >> Believe me and I talk about this frequently, but when

>> the

>> >> >> moment comes... all of our talking is out the window!!!

>> >> >>

>> >> >> This job of raising an AS child is Hard... just gotta figure out

>> >> how

>> >> >> to

>> >> >> lick it!! LOL

>> >> >>

>> >> >> Jackie

>> >> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 9:18 PM, Roxanna wrote:

>> >> >>

>> >> >> > The depression part has been a problem here for my 10 yo ds. 

>> The

>> >> >> > " friend " thing is so awful.  I think it's the worst thing of

>> >> all. 

>> >> >> The

>> >> >> > kids in the neighborhood sometimes play with him but more

>> often,

>> >> >> they

>> >> >> > tease him or exclude him.  It's been tough to deal with this

>> >> stuff

>> >> >> > lately. 

>> >> >> >  

>> >> >> > Roxanna

>> >> >> > Autism Happens

>> >> >> >> Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have

>> Asperger's!!!

>> >> to

>> >> >> >> Jackie

>> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> This is the hard part that he sees himself as " defective " I

>> see

>> >> >> him as

>> >> >> >> a extremely smart child that is different! The developmental

>> >> doctor

>> >> >> >> also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at times I

>> notice

>> >> >> that

>> >> >> >> he uses these words to describe himself more frequently. He

>> also

>> >> >> calls

>> >> >> >> himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is the

>> only

>> >> one

>> >> >> who

>> >> >> >> can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his sister

>> >> calls

>> >> >> him

>> >> >> >> a loser!!! We are on a " down " mood swing this week and it's

>> very

>> >> >> ugly

>> >> >> >> around here! can't do anything himself and wants to

>> be

>> >> told

>> >> >> >> everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've got

>> 10

>> >> >> things

>> >> >> >> going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get organized so

>> that

>> >> >> we as

>> >> >> >> a family can STAY organized in order to help from

>> being

>> >> so

>> >> >> >> overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time crying

>> and

>> >> >> temper

>> >> >> >> tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his youngest

>> >> >> sister!!

>> >> >> >> She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams (VERY

>> >> >> LOUDLY)

>> >> >> >> and then complains that she is screaming and hurting his

>> ears...

>> >> >> then

>> >> >> >> he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you tell

>> that

>> >> I'm

>> >> >> >> stressed??? LOL

>> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> This is the sad part of AS to me at least! The feelings of

>> self

>> >> >> >> worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart and that

>> >> " he

>> >> >> >> knows more than any of the other kids in his class " but he

>> gets

>> >> so

>> >> >> >> upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a bike,

>> etc...

>> >> >> I'm

>> >> >> >> hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get his life

>> >> and

>> >> >> our

>> >> >> >> family life on track and can help him to see that He is NOT

>> >> >> >> defective... just a very unique child with different great

>> >> >> qualities

>> >> >> >> that others do not possess!!

>> >> >> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:

>> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> > ...but he calls it defective!

>> >> >> >> > my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5

>> >> >> >> > I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it. he

>> says

>> >> he

>> >> >> is a

>> >> >> >> > loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My ds even

>> >> >> blames

>> >> >> >> it

>> >> >> >> > on his own glasses for the reason he " can't do anything

>> right "

>> >> >> >> >

>> >> >> >> >

>> >> >> >> >

>> >> >> >> >

[Guest guest]

great... I'll have him start Saturday after his social skills program. He's excited as well. He wanted to go to your house to visit with him. LOL. to bad we aren't closer. <hunebear3@...> wrote: No, I'm fine with real names! For now... just use my regular email address for too! I'll set up a folder on my computer for so that he can see when he has "pen pal" email! It's going to be so excited.Thanks Rose!!JackieOn Jul 12, 2007, at 7:43 PM, Rose wrote:> Great. my son is 10. If would like to e-mail him. He can > use my address, and in the subject space: put 'pen-pal' and we will > know its for him. Would you like to use nick names?> As soon as my son gets out of the shower, I'll let him

know he has a > pen-pal. LOL >> wrote:>> I just asked him and he's dancing around singing YES YES YES!! So I'm>> guessing that he would love to have an email pen pal!! His name is>> and he will be 11 years old in December. I'll set him up an>> email account tonight!!!>>>> I don't think there is anyone on this group that is close by... but we>> shall see! But for now the email thing would be perfect!>>>> Jackie>> On Jul 12, 2007, at 5:56 PM, Rose wrote:>>>> > If no one is close by, (I'm in N.Y.). Maybe others (on this>> > site) with children the same age as your son can e-mail you off >> line>> > with their e-mail address and he can have a 'pen pal'. or maybe >> write>> > letters, or talk

on the phone. they can be "HIS" friend. Maybe he >> can>> > even have his own e-mail address. Would that interest him?>> > >> > >> > >> >>> > wrote:>> >> Rose,>> >>>> >> These are all great suggestions! is only involved in Karate>> >> right now. His only other interest is Video games. He will not>> >> participate in any group sports as he HATES sports! I am trying to>> >> locate a local support group that is more geared toward AS. There >> is a>> >> Special needs group that meets approx 30 minutes from my house but >> I>> >> think that is more of a "mom" support meeting even though children >> are>> >> welcomed. I just finished a Sleep Study at the

Local Children's>> >> hospital and I had some great Mom's in my group and lucky for us >> all>> >> we>> >> have children that are all about the same age. So we are planning >> on>> >> forming our own little group as soon as vacation season is over. >> I'm>> >> looking forward to that because the other mom's have children that >> are>> >> Dx with AS too!>> >>>> >> does not understand the concept of what a friend is >> either. He>> >> thinks when someone asks to "borrow" (which means keep in the other>> >> children's eyes) that they are his "friend". If they want to play >> with>> >> him ONE day out of 7 then they are his friend. Basically anyone >> that>> >> his "nice" to him on a one time basis is his

friend! We talk about>> >> what a friend is frequently and I try to help when the boys are >> over,>> >> but like I said I can not trust him going to the other's boy's >> house>> >> as>> >> they are unsupervised. These boys are all about 10 years old and >> they>> >> come knocking on our door as late as 8:30 pm!! I'm sorry if I sound>> >> like a overprotective mother but my kids are usually in bed at this>> >> time... especially if it's a school night!!>> >>>> >> will do just about anything that someone tells him to do or>> >> dares whatever it is! So that's another reason I don't feel safe>> >> allowing him to go to far from home. There is one boy that he plays>> >> with that spends the night here that is very tolerate of . >>

He's>> >> attuned into 's problems even though he doesn't know whats>> >> wrong>> >> with him. Walter-- the friend has asked me several times why >> >> >> cries so easily and why he gets so mad... but he will usually try >> to>> >> calm down or talk him through it. He also tells the other >> boys>> >> to stop making fun of him! BUT... he(walter) likes to play with the>> >> other boys too and this ticks off because he thinks he >> should>> >> be the ONLY friend!! What a hard life to live!!!>> >>>> >> Maybe there's someone on this group that lives closeby... I live in>> >> Gallatin, TN!!! Want to hook up for a Play date?????? LOL>> >>>> >> Jackie>> >> On Jul 12, 2007, at 11:08 AM, Rose

wrote:>> >>>> >> > Hi Jackie,>> >> > The same problem here. there are a click (handful) of children >> that>> >> > are unsupervised under 12 and free to do what they want including>> >> > staying out till late hours. The ones that are supervised only >> have>> >> > scheduled playdates, have to stay in site of their parents. (like>> >> > mine).>> >> > and of course when the unsupervised boys are separated. the one>> >> > that's left home with nothing to do would come over to play with >> my>> >> > son. great, He has a friend??? problem is, he asked if he could>> >> have>> >> > everything my son has. He just got a fishing pole still with >> tags. >> >> >

and the kid wanted it. I explained to my son what a 'friend' >> is. >> >> > also asked if he thought these boys fit that description of>> >> 'friend'. >> >> > so, he played by himself for a while. He joined a boys & >> girls club>> >> > and gets to play with other children there. He also wants a >> 'best>> >> > friend' so bad. but right now, I'd rather him wait and play at >> the>> >> > boys club, than get into trouble or hurt feelings with those>> >> > unsupervised boys. I could easily see him doing something >> dangerous>> >> > just because he says he is strong or nothing bad can happen.>> >> (because>> >> > he doesn't understand the concept of

danger). >> >> > I think sometimes our children need some adult help when >> choosing a>> >> > friend. a little explaining that names "do hurt" and a 'friend'>> >> won't>> >> > call you names. Is your son involved in boyscouts? baseball?>> >> maybe>> >> > you can call one of those boys over for a playdate and if your >> son>> >> is>> >> > into fishing, movies, riding bikes. Maybe you can arrange for >> them>> >> > both to do that together with you supervising until a friendship>> >> > develops. Just a thought. I wish I had more ideas for you. >> When>> >> the>> >> > boys call your son stupid. Have him say: takes on to know one >>

-and>> >> > walk away. maybe not those exact words, but something to say>> >> back so>> >> > your son wont feel so hurt. Sorry he has to be around those >> mean>> >> > children. Do you have an aspergers support group near you? If>> >> they>> >> > have children your sons age, mayby you can all meet at a park and>> >> see>> >> > who he gets along with???. *smile*>> >> >>> >> > wrote:>> >> >> Kids are all so mean!! Sometimes I can completely understand why>> >> the>> >> >> kids don't want to play with my DS... but then again he is my>> >> child!!>> >> >> The neighborhood kids either are my son's

best friend-- when >> they>> >> want>> >> >> something or there's no one else to play or they hurl insults >> over>> >> our>> >> >> fence at my son. The worst insult to my son is "stupid"! He can>> >> >> handle them calling him a sissy or "Homo" much better than being>> >> >> called>> >> >> stupid! But then again after they call him stupid he's real >> quick>> >> to>> >> >> point out all the reason WHY he can't be stupid!! Which then >> makes>> >> the>> >> >> boys all laugh and tell him to go in the house! All of the>> >> >> neighborhood kids... which all happen to be boys play mostly >> with>> >> my>> >> >> DD... which is sad! She is the one who

rides bikes with them,>> >> tosses>> >> >> the football... you know typical boy things. is now>> >> beginning>> >> >> to notice this more! One of the boys was in the house yesterday >> and>> >> >> came to me and said "it happened again" and I said >> what...>> >> and>> >> >> then told me my friend is playing with ... she took him >> away!>> >> So>> >> >> I made the girls and boys separate. That worked for a while!>> >> >>>> >> >> The friend thing is just getting worse and worse and causing>> >> >> >> >> not to even want to go out in the yard to play. Plus some of the>> >> >> children in the neighborhood are the kinds of kids that I

don't>> >> want>> >> >> my>> >> >> children playing with out of my sight... if you know what I >> mean!>> >> They>> >> >> have NO parent supervision and are allowed to do pretty much>> >> whatever>> >> >> they want to do and that is NOT a good place for to be>> >> >> especially. So sometimes I think they invite over >> because>> >> they>> >> >> know I won't let him go just to see him have a breakdown in the>> >> yard.>> >> >> Believe me and I talk about this frequently, but when >> the>> >> >> moment comes... all of our talking is out the window!!!>> >> >>>> >> >> This job of raising an AS child is Hard... just gotta figure

out>> >> how>> >> >> to>> >> >> lick it!! LOL>> >> >>>> >> >> Jackie>> >> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 9:18 PM, Roxanna wrote:>> >> >>>> >> >> > The depression part has been a problem here for my 10 yo ds. >> The>> >> >> > "friend" thing is so awful. I think it's the worst thing of>> >> all. >> >> >> The>> >> >> > kids in the neighborhood sometimes play with him but more >> often,>> >> >> they>> >> >> > tease him or exclude him. It's been tough to deal with this>> >> stuff>> >> >> > lately. >> >> >> > >> >> >> > Roxanna>>

>> >> > Autism Happens>> >> >> >> Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have >> Asperger's!!!>> >> to>> >> >> >> Jackie>> >> >> >>>> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> This is the hard part that he sees himself as "defective" I >> see>> >> >> him as>> >> >> >> a extremely smart child that is different! The developmental>> >> doctor>> >> >> >> also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at times I >>

notice>> >> >> that>> >> >> >> he uses these words to describe himself more frequently. He >> also>> >> >> calls>> >> >> >> himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is the >> only>> >> one>> >> >> who>> >> >> >> can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his sister>> >> calls>> >> >> him>> >> >> >> a loser!!! We are on a "down" mood swing this week and it's >> very>> >> >> ugly>> >> >> >> around here! can't do anything himself and wants to >> be>> >> told>> >> >> >> everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've got >> 10>> >> >> things>>

>> >> >> going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get organized so >> that>> >> >> we as>> >> >> >> a family can STAY organized in order to help from >> being>> >> so>> >> >> >> overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time crying >> and>> >> >> temper>> >> >> >> tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his youngest>> >> >> sister!!>> >> >> >> She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams (VERY>> >> >> LOUDLY)>> >> >> >> and then complains that she is screaming and hurting his >> ears...>> >> >> then>> >> >> >> he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you tell >> that>>

>> I'm>> >> >> >> stressed??? LOL>> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> This is the sad part of AS to me at least! The feelings of >> self>> >> >> >> worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart and that>> >> "he>> >> >> >> knows more than any of the other kids in his class" but he >> gets>> >> so>> >> >> >> upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a bike, >> etc...>> >> >> I'm>> >> >> >> hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get his life>> >> and>> >> >> our>> >> >> >> family life on track and can help him to see that He is NOT>> >> >> >> defective... just a very unique child with

different great>> >> >> qualities>> >> >> >> that others do not possess!!>> >> >> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:>> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> > ...but he calls it defective!>> >> >> >> > my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5>> >> >> >> > I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it. he >> says>> >> he>> >> >> is a>> >> >> >> > loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My ds even>> >> >> blames>> >> >> >> it>> >> >> >> > on his own glasses for the reason he "can't do anything >> right">> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >>

>>> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >

[Guest guest]

My son said the same thing... Can I go visit?? I'm excited for the two

of them as well because they will work on some other skills besides

friendship! Yeah I wish I was closer to a lot of the people of this

group! There are so many nice moms and wonderful (just like my child)

children!

Jackie

On Jul 13, 2007, at 12:07 PM, Rose wrote:

> great... I'll have him start Saturday after his social skills

> program.  He's excited as well.  He wanted to go to your house

> to visit with him.  LOL.  to bad we aren't closer.

>

> <hunebear3@...> wrote:No, I'm fine with real

> names! For now... just use my regular email

>> address for too! I'll set up a folder on my computer for so

>> that he can see when he has " pen pal " email! It's going to be so

>> excited.

>>

>> Thanks Rose!!

>>

>> Jackie

>> On Jul 12, 2007, at 7:43 PM, Rose wrote:

>>

>> > Great.  my son is 10.  If would like to e-mail him.  He can

>> > use my address, and in the subject space:  put 'pen-pal' and we will

>> > know its for him.  Would you like to use nick names?

>> > As soon as my son gets out of the shower, I'll let him know he has a

>> > pen-pal.  LOL 

>> >

>> > wrote:

>> >> I just asked him and he's dancing around singing YES YES YES!! So

>> I'm

>> >> guessing that he would love to have an email pen pal!! His name is

>> >> and he will be 11 years old in December. I'll set him up an

>> >> email account tonight!!!

>> >>

>> >> I don't think there is anyone on this group that is close by...

>> but we

>> >> shall see! But for now the email thing would be perfect!

>> >>

>> >> Jackie

>> >> On Jul 12, 2007, at 5:56 PM, Rose wrote:

>> >>

>> >> > If no one is close by, (I'm in N.Y.).  Maybe others (on this

>> >> > site) with children the same age as your son  can e-mail you off

>> >> line

>> >> > with their e-mail address and he can have a 'pen pal'.  or maybe

>> >> write

>> >> > letters, or talk on the phone.  they can be " HIS " friend. Maybe

>> he

>> >> can

>> >> > even have his own e-mail address.   Would that interest him?

>> >> >  

>> >> >  

>> >> >  

>> >> >

>> >> > wrote:

>> >> >> Rose,

>> >> >>

>> >> >> These are all great suggestions! is only involved in

>> Karate

>> >> >> right now. His only other interest is Video games. He will not

>> >> >> participate in any group sports as he HATES sports! I am trying

>> to

>> >> >> locate a local support group that is more geared toward AS.

>> There

>> >> is a

>> >> >> Special needs group that meets approx 30 minutes from my house

>> but

>> >> I

>> >> >> think that is more of a " mom " support meeting even though

>> children

>> >> are

>> >> >> welcomed. I just finished a Sleep Study at the Local Children's

>> >> >> hospital and I had some great Mom's in my group and lucky for us

>> >> all

>> >> >> we

>> >> >> have children that are all about the same age. So we are

>> planning

>> >> on

>> >> >> forming our own little group as soon as vacation season is over.

>> >> I'm

>> >> >> looking forward to that because the other mom's have children

>> that

>> >> are

>> >> >> Dx with AS too!

>> >> >>

>> >> >> does not understand the concept of what a friend is

>> >> either. He

>> >> >> thinks when someone asks to " borrow " (which means keep in the

>> other

>> >> >> children's eyes) that they are his " friend " . If they want to

>> play

>> >> with

>> >> >> him ONE day out of 7 then they are his friend. Basically anyone

>> >> that

>> >> >> his " nice " to him on a one time basis is his friend! We talk

>> about

>> >> >> what a friend is frequently and I try to help when the boys are

>> >> over,

>> >> >> but like I said I can not trust him going to the other's boy's

>> >> house

>> >> >> as

>> >> >> they are unsupervised. These boys are all about 10 years old and

>> >> they

>> >> >> come knocking on our door as late as 8:30 pm!! I'm sorry if I

>> sound

>> >> >> like a overprotective mother but my kids are usually in bed at

>> this

>> >> >> time... especially if it's a school night!!

>> >> >>

>> >> >> will do just about anything that someone tells him to

>> do or

>> >> >> dares whatever it is! So that's another reason I don't feel safe

>> >> >> allowing him to go to far from home. There is one boy that he

>> plays

>> >> >> with that spends the night here that is very tolerate of

>> .

>> >> He's

>> >> >> attuned into 's problems even though he doesn't know

>> whats

>> >> >> wrong

>> >> >> with him. Walter-- the friend has asked me several times why

>> >>

>> >> >> cries so easily and why he gets so mad... but he will usually

>> try

>> >> to

>> >> >> calm down or talk him through it. He also tells the

>> other

>> >> boys

>> >> >> to stop making fun of him! BUT... he(walter) likes to play with

>> the

>> >> >> other boys too and this ticks off because he thinks he

>> >> should

>> >> >> be the ONLY friend!! What a hard life to live!!!

>> >> >>

>> >> >> Maybe there's someone on this group that lives closeby... I

>> live in

>> >> >> Gallatin, TN!!! Want to hook up for a Play date?????? LOL

>> >> >>

>> >> >> Jackie

>> >> >> On Jul 12, 2007, at 11:08 AM, Rose wrote:

>> >> >>

>> >> >> > Hi Jackie,

>> >> >> > The same problem here.  there are a click (handful) of

>> children

>> >> that

>> >> >> > are unsupervised under 12 and free to do what they want

>> including

>> >> >> > staying out till late hours.  The ones that are supervised

>> only

>> >> have

>> >> >> > scheduled playdates, have to stay in site of their parents.

>> (like

>> >> >> > mine).

>> >> >> > and of course when the unsupervised boys are separated.  the

>> one

>> >> >> > that's left home with nothing to do would come over to play

>> with

>> >> my

>> >> >> > son.  great, He has a friend???  problem is, he asked if he

>> could

>> >> >> have

>> >> >> > everything my son has.  He just got a fishing pole still with

>> >> tags. 

>> >> >> > and the kid wanted it.  I explained to my son what a 'friend'

>> >> is. 

>> >> >> > also asked if he thought these boys fit that description of

>> >> >> 'friend'. 

>> >> >> > so, he played by himself for a while.  He joined a boys &

>> >> girls club

>> >> >> > and gets to play with other children there.   He also wants a

>> >> 'best

>> >> >> > friend' so bad.  but right now, I'd rather him wait and play

>> at

>> >> the

>> >> >> > boys club, than get into trouble or hurt feelings with those

>> >> >> > unsupervised boys.  I could easily see him doing something

>> >> dangerous

>> >> >> > just because he says he is strong or nothing bad can happen.

>> >> >> (because

>> >> >> > he doesn't understand the concept of danger).  

>> >> >> > I think sometimes our children need some adult help when

>> >> choosing a

>> >> >> > friend.  a little explaining that names " do hurt " and a

>> 'friend'

>> >> >> won't

>> >> >> > call you names.    Is your son involved in boyscouts?

>> baseball?

>> >> >> maybe

>> >> >> > you can call one of those boys over for a playdate and if your

>> >> son

>> >> >> is

>> >> >> > into fishing, movies, riding bikes.  Maybe you can arrange for

>> >> them

>> >> >> > both to do that together with you supervising until a

>> friendship

>> >> >> > develops.  Just a thought.  I wish I had more ideas for you. 

>> >> When

>> >> >> the

>> >> >> > boys call your son stupid.  Have him say:  takes on to know

>> one

>> >> -and

>> >> >> > walk away.  maybe not those exact words, but something to say

>> >> >> back so

>> >> >> > your son wont feel so hurt.   Sorry he has to be around those

>> >> mean

>> >> >> > children.   Do you have an aspergers support group near

>> you?  If

>> >> >> they

>> >> >> > have children your sons age, mayby you can all meet at a park

>> and

>> >> >> see

>> >> >> > who he gets along with???.   *smile*

>> >> >> >

>> >> >> > wrote:

>> >> >> >> Kids are all so mean!! Sometimes I can completely understand

>> why

>> >> >> the

>> >> >> >> kids don't want to play with my DS... but then again he is my

>> >> >> child!!

>> >> >> >> The neighborhood kids either are my son's best friend-- when

>> >> they

>> >> >> want

>> >> >> >> something or there's no one else to play or they hurl insults

>> >> over

>> >> >> our

>> >> >> >> fence at my son. The worst insult to my son is " stupid " ! He

>> can

>> >> >> >> handle them calling him a sissy or " Homo " much better than

>> being

>> >> >> >> called

>> >> >> >> stupid! But then again after they call him stupid he's real

>> >> quick

>> >> >> to

>> >> >> >> point out all the reason WHY he can't be stupid!! Which then

>> >> makes

>> >> >> the

>> >> >> >> boys all laugh and tell him to go in the house! All of the

>> >> >> >> neighborhood kids... which all happen to be boys play mostly

>> >> with

>> >> >> my

>> >> >> >> DD... which is sad! She is the one who rides bikes with them,

>> >> >> tosses

>> >> >> >> the football... you know typical boy things. is now

>> >> >> beginning

>> >> >> >> to notice this more! One of the boys was in the house

>> yesterday

>> >> and

>> >> >> >> came to me and said " it happened again " and I said

>> >> what...

>> >> >> and

>> >> >> >> then told me my friend is playing with ... she took him

>> >> away!

>> >> >> So

>> >> >> >> I made the girls and boys separate. That worked for a while!

>> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> The friend thing is just getting worse and worse and causing

>> >> >>

>> >> >> >> not to even want to go out in the yard to play. Plus some of

>> the

>> >> >> >> children in the neighborhood are the kinds of kids that I

>> don't

>> >> >> want

>> >> >> >> my

>> >> >> >> children playing with out of my sight... if you know what I

>> >> mean!

>> >> >> They

>> >> >> >> have NO parent supervision and are allowed to do pretty much

>> >> >> whatever

>> >> >> >> they want to do and that is NOT a good place for to

>> be

>> >> >> >> especially. So sometimes I think they invite over

>> >> because

>> >> >> they

>> >> >> >> know I won't let him go just to see him have a breakdown in

>> the

>> >> >> yard.

>> >> >> >> Believe me and I talk about this frequently, but when

>> >> the

>> >> >> >> moment comes... all of our talking is out the window!!!

>> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> This job of raising an AS child is Hard... just gotta figure

>> out

>> >> >> how

>> >> >> >> to

>> >> >> >> lick it!! LOL

>> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> Jackie

>> >> >> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 9:18 PM, Roxanna wrote:

>> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> > The depression part has been a problem here for my 10 yo

>> ds. 

>> >> The

>> >> >> >> > " friend " thing is so awful.  I think it's the worst thing

>> of

>> >> >> all. 

>> >> >> >> The

>> >> >> >> > kids in the neighborhood sometimes play with him but more

>> >> often,

>> >> >> >> they

>> >> >> >> > tease him or exclude him.  It's been tough to deal with

>> this

>> >> >> stuff

>> >> >> >> > lately. 

>> >> >> >> >  

>> >> >> >> > Roxanna

>> >> >> >> > Autism Happens

>> >> >> >> >> Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have

>> >> Asperger's!!!

>> >> >> to

>> >> >> >> >> Jackie

>> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> This is the hard part that he sees himself as " defective "

>> I

>> >> see

>> >> >> >> him as

>> >> >> >> >> a extremely smart child that is different! The

>> developmental

>> >> >> doctor

>> >> >> >> >> also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at times I

>> >> notice

>> >> >> >> that

>> >> >> >> >> he uses these words to describe himself more frequently.

>> He

>> >> also

>> >> >> >> calls

>> >> >> >> >> himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is the

>> >> only

>> >> >> one

>> >> >> >> who

>> >> >> >> >> can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his

>> sister

>> >> >> calls

>> >> >> >> him

>> >> >> >> >> a loser!!! We are on a " down " mood swing this week and

>> it's

>> >> very

>> >> >> >> ugly

>> >> >> >> >> around here! can't do anything himself and wants

>> to

>> >> be

>> >> >> told

>> >> >> >> >> everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've

>> got

>> >> 10

>> >> >> >> things

>> >> >> >> >> going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get organized

>> so

>> >> that

>> >> >> >> we as

>> >> >> >> >> a family can STAY organized in order to help from

>> >> being

>> >> >> so

>> >> >> >> >> overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time crying

>> >> and

>> >> >> >> temper

>> >> >> >> >> tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his

>> youngest

>> >> >> >> sister!!

>> >> >> >> >> She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams

>> (VERY

>> >> >> >> LOUDLY)

>> >> >> >> >> and then complains that she is screaming and hurting his

>> >> ears...

>> >> >> >> then

>> >> >> >> >> he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you tell

>> >> that

>> >> >> I'm

>> >> >> >> >> stressed??? LOL

>> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> This is the sad part of AS to me at least! The feelings of

>> >> self

>> >> >> >> >> worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart and

>> that

>> >> >> " he

>> >> >> >> >> knows more than any of the other kids in his class " but he

>> >> gets

>> >> >> so

>> >> >> >> >> upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a bike,

>> >> etc...

>> >> >> >> I'm

>> >> >> >> >> hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get his

>> life

>> >> >> and

>> >> >> >> our

>> >> >> >> >> family life on track and can help him to see that He is

>> NOT

>> >> >> >> >> defective... just a very unique child with different great

>> >> >> >> qualities

>> >> >> >> >> that others do not possess!!

>> >> >> >> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:

>> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> > ...but he calls it defective!

>> >> >> >> >> > my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5

>> >> >> >> >> > I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it. he

>> >> says

>> >> >> he

>> >> >> >> is a

>> >> >> >> >> > loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My ds

>> even

>> >> >> >> blames

>> >> >> >> >> it

>> >> >> >> >> > on his own glasses for the reason he " can't do anything

>> >> right "

>> >> >> >> >> >

>> >> >> >> >> >

>> >> >> >> >> >

>> >> >> >> >> >

[Guest guest]

Hello, If I did this right, I (Mom) sent your son an e-mail. If I got the address right. Tommy will write him back. (he needs help with the typing/spelling, and will take a long time). If you didn't get an e-mail. There was a problem with the e-mail address. in the subject box: I typed pen-pal to matthew. <hunebear3@...> wrote: My son said the same thing... Can I go visit?? I'm excited for the two of them as well because they will work on some other skills besides friendship! Yeah I wish I was closer to a lot of the people of this group! There are so many nice moms and wonderful (just like my child) children!JackieOn Jul 13, 2007, at 12:07 PM, Rose wrote:> great... I'll have him start Saturday after his

social skills > program. He's excited as well. He wanted to go to your house > to visit with him. LOL. to bad we aren't closer.>> wrote:No, I'm fine with real > names! For now... just use my regular email>> address for too! I'll set up a folder on my computer for so>> that he can see when he has "pen pal" email! It's going to be so>> excited.>>>> Thanks Rose!!>>>> Jackie>> On Jul 12, 2007, at 7:43 PM, Rose wrote:>>>> > Great. my son is 10. If would like to e-mail him. He can>> > use my address, and in the subject space: put 'pen-pal' and we will>> > know its for him. Would you like to use nick names?>> > As soon as my son gets out of the shower, I'll let him know he has a>>

> pen-pal. LOL >> >>> > wrote:>> >> I just asked him and he's dancing around singing YES YES YES!! So >> I'm>> >> guessing that he would love to have an email pen pal!! His name is>> >> and he will be 11 years old in December. I'll set him up an>> >> email account tonight!!!>> >>>> >> I don't think there is anyone on this group that is close by... >> but we>> >> shall see! But for now the email thing would be perfect!>> >>>> >> Jackie>> >> On Jul 12, 2007, at 5:56 PM, Rose wrote:>> >>>> >> > If no one is close by, (I'm in N.Y.). Maybe others (on this>> >> > site) with children the same age as your son can e-mail you off>> >> line>>

>> > with their e-mail address and he can have a 'pen pal'. or maybe>> >> write>> >> > letters, or talk on the phone. they can be "HIS" friend. Maybe >> he>> >> can>> >> > even have his own e-mail address. Would that interest him?>> >> > >> >> > >> >> > >> >> >>> >> > wrote:>> >> >> Rose,>> >> >>>> >> >> These are all great suggestions! is only involved in >> Karate>> >> >> right now. His only other interest is Video games. He will not>> >> >> participate in any group sports as he HATES sports! I am trying >> to>> >> >> locate a local support group that is more geared

toward AS. >> There>> >> is a>> >> >> Special needs group that meets approx 30 minutes from my house >> but>> >> I>> >> >> think that is more of a "mom" support meeting even though >> children>> >> are>> >> >> welcomed. I just finished a Sleep Study at the Local Children's>> >> >> hospital and I had some great Mom's in my group and lucky for us>> >> all>> >> >> we>> >> >> have children that are all about the same age. So we are >> planning>> >> on>> >> >> forming our own little group as soon as vacation season is over.>> >> I'm>> >> >> looking forward to that because the other mom's have children >> that>> >> are>> >>

>> Dx with AS too!>> >> >>>> >> >> does not understand the concept of what a friend is>> >> either. He>> >> >> thinks when someone asks to "borrow" (which means keep in the >> other>> >> >> children's eyes) that they are his "friend". If they want to >> play>> >> with>> >> >> him ONE day out of 7 then they are his friend. Basically anyone>> >> that>> >> >> his "nice" to him on a one time basis is his friend! We talk >> about>> >> >> what a friend is frequently and I try to help when the boys are>> >> over,>> >> >> but like I said I can not trust him going to the other's boy's>> >> house>> >> >> as>> >> >> they are unsupervised. These

boys are all about 10 years old and>> >> they>> >> >> come knocking on our door as late as 8:30 pm!! I'm sorry if I >> sound>> >> >> like a overprotective mother but my kids are usually in bed at >> this>> >> >> time... especially if it's a school night!!>> >> >>>> >> >> will do just about anything that someone tells him to >> do or>> >> >> dares whatever it is! So that's another reason I don't feel safe>> >> >> allowing him to go to far from home. There is one boy that he >> plays>> >> >> with that spends the night here that is very tolerate of >> .>> >> He's>> >> >> attuned into 's problems even though he doesn't know >> whats>> >> >>

wrong>> >> >> with him. Walter-- the friend has asked me several times why>> >> >> >> >> cries so easily and why he gets so mad... but he will usually >> try>> >> to>> >> >> calm down or talk him through it. He also tells the >> other>> >> boys>> >> >> to stop making fun of him! BUT... he(walter) likes to play with >> the>> >> >> other boys too and this ticks off because he thinks he>> >> should>> >> >> be the ONLY friend!! What a hard life to live!!!>> >> >>>> >> >> Maybe there's someone on this group that lives closeby... I >> live in>> >> >> Gallatin, TN!!! Want to hook up for a Play date?????? LOL>> >> >>>> >>

>> Jackie>> >> >> On Jul 12, 2007, at 11:08 AM, Rose wrote:>> >> >>>> >> >> > Hi Jackie,>> >> >> > The same problem here. there are a click (handful) of >> children>> >> that>> >> >> > are unsupervised under 12 and free to do what they want >> including>> >> >> > staying out till late hours. The ones that are supervised >> only>> >> have>> >> >> > scheduled playdates, have to stay in site of their parents. >> (like>> >> >> > mine).>> >> >> > and of course when the unsupervised boys are separated. the >> one>> >> >> > that's left home with nothing to do would come over to play >> with>> >>

my>> >> >> > son. great, He has a friend??? problem is, he asked if he >> could>> >> >> have>> >> >> > everything my son has. He just got a fishing pole still with>> >> tags. >> >> >> > and the kid wanted it. I explained to my son what a 'friend'>> >> is. >> >> >> > also asked if he thought these boys fit that description of>> >> >> 'friend'. >> >> >> > so, he played by himself for a while. He joined a boys & >> >> girls club>> >> >> > and gets to play with other children there. He also wants a>> >> 'best>> >> >> > friend' so bad. but right now, I'd rather him wait and play >> at>>

>> the>> >> >> > boys club, than get into trouble or hurt feelings with those>> >> >> > unsupervised boys. I could easily see him doing something>> >> dangerous>> >> >> > just because he says he is strong or nothing bad can happen.>> >> >> (because>> >> >> > he doesn't understand the concept of danger). >> >> >> > I think sometimes our children need some adult help when>> >> choosing a>> >> >> > friend. a little explaining that names "do hurt" and a >> 'friend'>> >> >> won't>> >> >> > call you names. Is your son involved in boyscouts? >> baseball?>> >> >> maybe>> >> >> > you can call one of those

boys over for a playdate and if your>> >> son>> >> >> is>> >> >> > into fishing, movies, riding bikes. Maybe you can arrange for>> >> them>> >> >> > both to do that together with you supervising until a >> friendship>> >> >> > develops. Just a thought. I wish I had more ideas for you. >> >> When>> >> >> the>> >> >> > boys call your son stupid. Have him say: takes on to know >> one>> >> -and>> >> >> > walk away. maybe not those exact words, but something to say>> >> >> back so>> >> >> > your son wont feel so hurt. Sorry he has to be around those>> >> mean>> >> >> >

children. Do you have an aspergers support group near >> you? If>> >> >> they>> >> >> > have children your sons age, mayby you can all meet at a park >> and>> >> >> see>> >> >> > who he gets along with???. *smile*>> >> >> >>> >> >> > wrote:>> >> >> >> Kids are all so mean!! Sometimes I can completely understand >> why>> >> >> the>> >> >> >> kids don't want to play with my DS... but then again he is my>> >> >> child!!>> >> >> >> The neighborhood kids either are my son's best friend-- when>> >> they>> >> >> want>> >> >> >> something or there's no one

else to play or they hurl insults>> >> over>> >> >> our>> >> >> >> fence at my son. The worst insult to my son is "stupid"! He >> can>> >> >> >> handle them calling him a sissy or "Homo" much better than >> being>> >> >> >> called>> >> >> >> stupid! But then again after they call him stupid he's real>> >> quick>> >> >> to>> >> >> >> point out all the reason WHY he can't be stupid!! Which then>> >> makes>> >> >> the>> >> >> >> boys all laugh and tell him to go in the house! All of the>> >> >> >> neighborhood kids... which all happen to be boys play mostly>> >> with>> >> >> my>> >> >>

>> DD... which is sad! She is the one who rides bikes with them,>> >> >> tosses>> >> >> >> the football... you know typical boy things. is now>> >> >> beginning>> >> >> >> to notice this more! One of the boys was in the house >> yesterday>> >> and>> >> >> >> came to me and said "it happened again" and I said>> >> what...>> >> >> and>> >> >> >> then told me my friend is playing with ... she took him>> >> away!>> >> >> So>> >> >> >> I made the girls and boys separate. That worked for a while!>> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> The friend thing is just getting worse and worse and causing>> >> >>

>> >> >> >> not to even want to go out in the yard to play. Plus some of >> the>> >> >> >> children in the neighborhood are the kinds of kids that I >> don't>> >> >> want>> >> >> >> my>> >> >> >> children playing with out of my sight... if you know what I>> >> mean!>> >> >> They>> >> >> >> have NO parent supervision and are allowed to do pretty much>> >> >> whatever>> >> >> >> they want to do and that is NOT a good place for to >> be>> >> >> >> especially. So sometimes I think they invite over>> >> because>> >> >> they>> >> >> >> know I won't let him go just to see him have a

breakdown in >> the>> >> >> yard.>> >> >> >> Believe me and I talk about this frequently, but when>> >> the>> >> >> >> moment comes... all of our talking is out the window!!!>> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> This job of raising an AS child is Hard... just gotta figure >> out>> >> >> how>> >> >> >> to>> >> >> >> lick it!! LOL>> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> Jackie>> >> >> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 9:18 PM, Roxanna wrote:>> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> > The depression part has been a problem here for my 10 yo >> ds. >> >> The>> >> >> >> > "friend" thing

is so awful. I think it's the worst thing >> of>> >> >> all. >> >> >> >> The>> >> >> >> > kids in the neighborhood sometimes play with him but more>> >> often,>> >> >> >> they>> >> >> >> > tease him or exclude him. It's been tough to deal with >> this>> >> >> stuff>> >> >> >> > lately. >> >> >> >> > >> >> >> >> > Roxanna>> >> >> >> > Autism Happens>> >> >> >> >> Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have>> >> Asperger's!!!>> >> >> to>> >> >> >> >> Jackie>> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> This is the hard part that he sees himself as "defective" >> I>> >> see>> >> >> >> him as>> >> >> >> >> a extremely smart child that is different! The >> developmental>> >> >> doctor>> >> >> >> >> also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at times I>> >> notice>> >> >> >> that>> >> >> >> >> he uses these words to describe himself more frequently.

>> He>> >> also>> >> >> >> calls>> >> >> >> >> himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is the>> >> only>> >> >> one>> >> >> >> who>> >> >> >> >> can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his >> sister>> >> >> calls>> >> >> >> him>> >> >> >> >> a loser!!! We are on a "down" mood swing this week and >> it's>> >> very>> >> >> >> ugly>> >> >> >> >> around here! can't do anything himself and wants >> to>> >> be>> >> >> told>> >> >> >> >> everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've >>

got>> >> 10>> >> >> >> things>> >> >> >> >> going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get organized >> so>> >> that>> >> >> >> we as>> >> >> >> >> a family can STAY organized in order to help from>> >> being>> >> >> so>> >> >> >> >> overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time crying>> >> and>> >> >> >> temper>> >> >> >> >> tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his >> youngest>> >> >> >> sister!!>> >> >> >> >> She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams >> (VERY>> >> >> >> LOUDLY)>> >> >> >>

>> and then complains that she is screaming and hurting his>> >> ears...>> >> >> >> then>> >> >> >> >> he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you tell>> >> that>> >> >> I'm>> >> >> >> >> stressed??? LOL>> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> This is the sad part of AS to me at least! The feelings of>> >> self>> >> >> >> >> worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart and >> that>> >> >> "he>> >> >> >> >> knows more than any of the other kids in his class" but he>> >> gets>> >> >> so>> >> >> >> >> upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a

bike,>> >> etc...>> >> >> >> I'm>> >> >> >> >> hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get his >> life>> >> >> and>> >> >> >> our>> >> >> >> >> family life on track and can help him to see that He is >> NOT>> >> >> >> >> defective... just a very unique child with different great>> >> >> >> qualities>> >> >> >> >> that others do not possess!!>> >> >> >> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:>> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> > ...but he calls it defective!>> >> >> >> >> > my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5>> >> >>

>> >> > I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it. he>> >> says>> >> >> he>> >> >> >> is a>> >> >> >> >> > loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My ds >> even>> >> >> >> blames>> >> >> >> >> it>> >> >> >> >> > on his own glasses for the reason he "can't do anything>> >> right">> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >

[Guest guest]

I got the email. is at his grandparents house until Monday..

so let Tommy know that will not reply until Monday afternoon.

is extremely excited to be getting emails from other children.

I finally broke down and told him what his DX was... He seemed very

relived!! LOL

Jackie

On Jul 14, 2007, at 7:44 PM, Rose wrote:

> Hello, If I did this right, I (Mom) sent your son an e-mail.  If I got

> the address right.  Tommy will write him back. (he needs help with the

> typing/spelling, and will take a long time).   If you didn't get an

> e-mail.  There was a problem with the e-mail address.

> in the subject box:  I typed pen-pal  to matthew. 

>

>

> <hunebear3@...> wrote:

>> My son said the same thing... Can I go visit?? I'm excited for the two

>> of them as well because they will work on some other skills besides

>> friendship! Yeah I wish I was closer to a lot of the people of this

>> group! There are so many nice moms and wonderful (just like my child)

>> children!

>>

>> Jackie

>> On Jul 13, 2007, at 12:07 PM, Rose wrote:

>>

>> > great... I'll have him start Saturday after his social skills

>> > program.  He's excited as well.  He wanted to go to your house

>> > to visit with him.  LOL.  to bad we aren't closer.

>> >

>> > wrote:No, I'm fine with real

>> > names! For now... just use my regular email

>> >> address for too! I'll set up a folder on my computer for so

>> >> that he can see when he has " pen pal " email! It's going to be so

>> >> excited.

>> >>

>> >> Thanks Rose!!

>> >>

>> >> Jackie

>> >> On Jul 12, 2007, at 7:43 PM, Rose wrote:

>> >>

>> >> > Great.  my son is 10.  If would like to e-mail him.  He

>> can

>> >> > use my address, and in the subject space:  put 'pen-pal' and we

>> will

>> >> > know its for him.  Would you like to use nick names?

>> >> > As soon as my son gets out of the shower, I'll let him know he

>> has a

>> >> > pen-pal.  LOL 

>> >> >

>> >> > wrote:

>> >> >> I just asked him and he's dancing around singing YES YES YES!!

>> So

>> >> I'm

>> >> >> guessing that he would love to have an email pen pal!! His name

>> is

>> >> >> and he will be 11 years old in December. I'll set him

>> up an

>> >> >> email account tonight!!!

>> >> >>

>> >> >> I don't think there is anyone on this group that is close by...

>> >> but we

>> >> >> shall see! But for now the email thing would be perfect!

>> >> >>

>> >> >> Jackie

>> >> >> On Jul 12, 2007, at 5:56 PM, Rose wrote:

>> >> >>

>> >> >> > If no one is close by, (I'm in N.Y.).  Maybe others (on this

>> >> >> > site) with children the same age as your son  can e-mail you

>> off

>> >> >> line

>> >> >> > with their e-mail address and he can have a 'pen pal'.  or

>> maybe

>> >> >> write

>> >> >> > letters, or talk on the phone.  they can be " HIS "

>> friend. Maybe

>> >> he

>> >> >> can

>> >> >> > even have his own e-mail address.   Would that interest him?

>> >> >> >  

>> >> >> >  

>> >> >> >  

>> >> >> >

>> >> >> > wrote:

>> >> >> >> Rose,

>> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> These are all great suggestions! is only involved in

>> >> Karate

>> >> >> >> right now. His only other interest is Video games. He will

>> not

>> >> >> >> participate in any group sports as he HATES sports! I am

>> trying

>> >> to

>> >> >> >> locate a local support group that is more geared toward AS.

>> >> There

>> >> >> is a

>> >> >> >> Special needs group that meets approx 30 minutes from my

>> house

>> >> but

>> >> >> I

>> >> >> >> think that is more of a " mom " support meeting even though

>> >> children

>> >> >> are

>> >> >> >> welcomed. I just finished a Sleep Study at the Local

>> Children's

>> >> >> >> hospital and I had some great Mom's in my group and lucky

>> for us

>> >> >> all

>> >> >> >> we

>> >> >> >> have children that are all about the same age. So we are

>> >> planning

>> >> >> on

>> >> >> >> forming our own little group as soon as vacation season is

>> over.

>> >> >> I'm

>> >> >> >> looking forward to that because the other mom's have children

>> >> that

>> >> >> are

>> >> >> >> Dx with AS too!

>> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> does not understand the concept of what a friend is

>> >> >> either. He

>> >> >> >> thinks when someone asks to " borrow " (which means keep in the

>> >> other

>> >> >> >> children's eyes) that they are his " friend " . If they want to

>> >> play

>> >> >> with

>> >> >> >> him ONE day out of 7 then they are his friend. Basically

>> anyone

>> >> >> that

>> >> >> >> his " nice " to him on a one time basis is his friend! We talk

>> >> about

>> >> >> >> what a friend is frequently and I try to help when the boys

>> are

>> >> >> over,

>> >> >> >> but like I said I can not trust him going to the other's

>> boy's

>> >> >> house

>> >> >> >> as

>> >> >> >> they are unsupervised. These boys are all about 10 years old

>> and

>> >> >> they

>> >> >> >> come knocking on our door as late as 8:30 pm!! I'm sorry if I

>> >> sound

>> >> >> >> like a overprotective mother but my kids are usually in bed

>> at

>> >> this

>> >> >> >> time... especially if it's a school night!!

>> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> will do just about anything that someone tells him to

>> >> do or

>> >> >> >> dares whatever it is! So that's another reason I don't feel

>> safe

>> >> >> >> allowing him to go to far from home. There is one boy that he

>> >> plays

>> >> >> >> with that spends the night here that is very tolerate of

>> >> .

>> >> >> He's

>> >> >> >> attuned into 's problems even though he doesn't know

>> >> whats

>> >> >> >> wrong

>> >> >> >> with him. Walter-- the friend has asked me several times why

>> >> >>

>> >> >> >> cries so easily and why he gets so mad... but he will usually

>> >> try

>> >> >> to

>> >> >> >> calm down or talk him through it. He also tells the

>> >> other

>> >> >> boys

>> >> >> >> to stop making fun of him! BUT... he(walter) likes to play

>> with

>> >> the

>> >> >> >> other boys too and this ticks off because he thinks

>> he

>> >> >> should

>> >> >> >> be the ONLY friend!! What a hard life to live!!!

>> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> Maybe there's someone on this group that lives closeby... I

>> >> live in

>> >> >> >> Gallatin, TN!!! Want to hook up for a Play date?????? LOL

>> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> Jackie

>> >> >> >> On Jul 12, 2007, at 11:08 AM, Rose wrote:

>> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> > Hi Jackie,

>> >> >> >> > The same problem here.  there are a click (handful) of

>> >> children

>> >> >> that

>> >> >> >> > are unsupervised under 12 and free to do what they want

>> >> including

>> >> >> >> > staying out till late hours.  The ones that are supervised

>> >> only

>> >> >> have

>> >> >> >> > scheduled playdates, have to stay in site of their parents.

>> >> (like

>> >> >> >> > mine).

>> >> >> >> > and of course when the unsupervised boys are separated. 

>> the

>> >> one

>> >> >> >> > that's left home with nothing to do would come over to play

>> >> with

>> >> >> my

>> >> >> >> > son.  great, He has a friend???  problem is, he asked if he

>> >> could

>> >> >> >> have

>> >> >> >> > everything my son has.  He just got a fishing pole still

>> with

>> >> >> tags. 

>> >> >> >> > and the kid wanted it.  I explained to my son what a

>> 'friend'

>> >> >> is. 

>> >> >> >> > also asked if he thought these boys fit that description of

>> >> >> >> 'friend'. 

>> >> >> >> > so, he played by himself for a while.  He joined a boys &

>> >> >> girls club

>> >> >> >> > and gets to play with other children there.   He also

>> wants a

>> >> >> 'best

>> >> >> >> > friend' so bad.  but right now, I'd rather him wait and

>> play

>> >> at

>> >> >> the

>> >> >> >> > boys club, than get into trouble or hurt feelings with

>> those

>> >> >> >> > unsupervised boys.  I could easily see him doing something

>> >> >> dangerous

>> >> >> >> > just because he says he is strong or nothing bad can

>> happen.

>> >> >> >> (because

>> >> >> >> > he doesn't understand the concept of danger).  

>> >> >> >> > I think sometimes our children need some adult help when

>> >> >> choosing a

>> >> >> >> > friend.  a little explaining that names " do hurt " and a

>> >> 'friend'

>> >> >> >> won't

>> >> >> >> > call you names.    Is your son involved in boyscouts?

>> >> baseball?

>> >> >> >> maybe

>> >> >> >> > you can call one of those boys over for a playdate and if

>> your

>> >> >> son

>> >> >> >> is

>> >> >> >> > into fishing, movies, riding bikes.  Maybe you can arrange

>> for

>> >> >> them

>> >> >> >> > both to do that together with you supervising until a

>> >> friendship

>> >> >> >> > develops.  Just a thought.  I wish I had more ideas for

>> you. 

>> >> >> When

>> >> >> >> the

>> >> >> >> > boys call your son stupid.  Have him say:  takes on to know

>> >> one

>> >> >> -and

>> >> >> >> > walk away.  maybe not those exact words, but something to

>> say

>> >> >> >> back so

>> >> >> >> > your son wont feel so hurt.   Sorry he has to be around

>> those

>> >> >> mean

>> >> >> >> > children.   Do you have an aspergers support group near

>> >> you?  If

>> >> >> >> they

>> >> >> >> > have children your sons age, mayby you can all meet at a

>> park

>> >> and

>> >> >> >> see

>> >> >> >> > who he gets along with???.   *smile*

>> >> >> >> >

>> >> >> >> > wrote:

>> >> >> >> >> Kids are all so mean!! Sometimes I can completely

>> understand

>> >> why

>> >> >> >> the

>> >> >> >> >> kids don't want to play with my DS... but then again he

>> is my

>> >> >> >> child!!

>> >> >> >> >> The neighborhood kids either are my son's best friend--

>> when

>> >> >> they

>> >> >> >> want

>> >> >> >> >> something or there's no one else to play or they hurl

>> insults

>> >> >> over

>> >> >> >> our

>> >> >> >> >> fence at my son. The worst insult to my son is " stupid " !

>> He

>> >> can

>> >> >> >> >> handle them calling him a sissy or " Homo " much better than

>> >> being

>> >> >> >> >> called

>> >> >> >> >> stupid! But then again after they call him stupid he's

>> real

>> >> >> quick

>> >> >> >> to

>> >> >> >> >> point out all the reason WHY he can't be stupid!! Which

>> then

>> >> >> makes

>> >> >> >> the

>> >> >> >> >> boys all laugh and tell him to go in the house! All of the

>> >> >> >> >> neighborhood kids... which all happen to be boys play

>> mostly

>> >> >> with

>> >> >> >> my

>> >> >> >> >> DD... which is sad! She is the one who rides bikes with

>> them,

>> >> >> >> tosses

>> >> >> >> >> the football... you know typical boy things. is

>> now

>> >> >> >> beginning

>> >> >> >> >> to notice this more! One of the boys was in the house

>> >> yesterday

>> >> >> and

>> >> >> >> >> came to me and said " it happened again " and I said

>> >> >> what...

>> >> >> >> and

>> >> >> >> >> then told me my friend is playing with ... she took

>> him

>> >> >> away!

>> >> >> >> So

>> >> >> >> >> I made the girls and boys separate. That worked for a

>> while!

>> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> The friend thing is just getting worse and worse and

>> causing

>> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> not to even want to go out in the yard to play. Plus some

>> of

>> >> the

>> >> >> >> >> children in the neighborhood are the kinds of kids that I

>> >> don't

>> >> >> >> want

>> >> >> >> >> my

>> >> >> >> >> children playing with out of my sight... if you know what

>> I

>> >> >> mean!

>> >> >> >> They

>> >> >> >> >> have NO parent supervision and are allowed to do pretty

>> much

>> >> >> >> whatever

>> >> >> >> >> they want to do and that is NOT a good place for

>> to

>> >> be

>> >> >> >> >> especially. So sometimes I think they invite over

>> >> >> because

>> >> >> >> they

>> >> >> >> >> know I won't let him go just to see him have a breakdown

>> in

>> >> the

>> >> >> >> yard.

>> >> >> >> >> Believe me and I talk about this frequently, but

>> when

>> >> >> the

>> >> >> >> >> moment comes... all of our talking is out the window!!!

>> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> This job of raising an AS child is Hard... just gotta

>> figure

>> >> out

>> >> >> >> how

>> >> >> >> >> to

>> >> >> >> >> lick it!! LOL

>> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> Jackie

>> >> >> >> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 9:18 PM, Roxanna wrote:

>> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> > The depression part has been a problem here for my 10 yo

>> >> ds. 

>> >> >> The

>> >> >> >> >> > " friend " thing is so awful.  I think it's the worst

>> thing

>> >> of

>> >> >> >> all. 

>> >> >> >> >> The

>> >> >> >> >> > kids in the neighborhood sometimes play with him but

>> more

>> >> >> often,

>> >> >> >> >> they

>> >> >> >> >> > tease him or exclude him.  It's been tough to deal with

>> >> this

>> >> >> >> stuff

>> >> >> >> >> > lately. 

>> >> >> >> >> >  

>> >> >> >> >> > Roxanna

>> >> >> >> >> > Autism Happens

>> >> >> >> >> >> Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have

>> >> >> Asperger's!!!

>> >> >> >> to

>> >> >> >> >> >> Jackie

>> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> This is the hard part that he sees himself as

>> " defective "

>> >> I

>> >> >> see

>> >> >> >> >> him as

>> >> >> >> >> >> a extremely smart child that is different! The

>> >> developmental

>> >> >> >> doctor

>> >> >> >> >> >> also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at

>> times I

>> >> >> notice

>> >> >> >> >> that

>> >> >> >> >> >> he uses these words to describe himself more

>> frequently.

>> >> He

>> >> >> also

>> >> >> >> >> calls

>> >> >> >> >> >> himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is

>> the

>> >> >> only

>> >> >> >> one

>> >> >> >> >> who

>> >> >> >> >> >> can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his

>> >> sister

>> >> >> >> calls

>> >> >> >> >> him

>> >> >> >> >> >> a loser!!! We are on a " down " mood swing this week and

>> >> it's

>> >> >> very

>> >> >> >> >> ugly

>> >> >> >> >> >> around here! can't do anything himself and

>> wants

>> >> to

>> >> >> be

>> >> >> >> told

>> >> >> >> >> >> everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've

>> >> got

>> >> >> 10

>> >> >> >> >> things

>> >> >> >> >> >> going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get

>> organized

>> >> so

>> >> >> that

>> >> >> >> >> we as

>> >> >> >> >> >> a family can STAY organized in order to help

>> from

>> >> >> being

>> >> >> >> so

>> >> >> >> >> >> overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time

>> crying

>> >> >> and

>> >> >> >> >> temper

>> >> >> >> >> >> tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his

>> >> youngest

>> >> >> >> >> sister!!

>> >> >> >> >> >> She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams

>> >> (VERY

>> >> >> >> >> LOUDLY)

>> >> >> >> >> >> and then complains that she is screaming and hurting

>> his

>> >> >> ears...

>> >> >> >> >> then

>> >> >> >> >> >> he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you

>> tell

>> >> >> that

>> >> >> >> I'm

>> >> >> >> >> >> stressed??? LOL

>> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> This is the sad part of AS to me at least! The

>> feelings of

>> >> >> self

>> >> >> >> >> >> worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart

>> and

>> >> that

>> >> >> >> " he

>> >> >> >> >> >> knows more than any of the other kids in his class "

>> but he

>> >> >> gets

>> >> >> >> so

>> >> >> >> >> >> upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a

>> bike,

>> >> >> etc...

>> >> >> >> >> I'm

>> >> >> >> >> >> hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get

>> his

>> >> life

>> >> >> >> and

>> >> >> >> >> our

>> >> >> >> >> >> family life on track and can help him to see that He is

>> >> NOT

>> >> >> >> >> >> defective... just a very unique child with different

>> great

>> >> >> >> >> qualities

>> >> >> >> >> >> that others do not possess!!

>> >> >> >> >> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:

>> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> > ...but he calls it defective!

>> >> >> >> >> >> > my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5

>> >> >> >> >> >> > I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it.

>> he

>> >> >> says

>> >> >> >> he

>> >> >> >> >> is a

>> >> >> >> >> >> > loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My

>> ds

>> >> even

>> >> >> >> >> blames

>> >> >> >> >> >> it

>> >> >> >> >> >> > on his own glasses for the reason he " can't do

>> anything

>> >> >> right "

>> >> >> >> >> >> >

>> >> >> >> >> >> >

>> >> >> >> >> >> >

>> >> >> >> >> >> >

[Guest guest]

That's awesome that he took it so well. Ahhh.......now you can breathe. Hee he. Robin <hunebear3@...> wrote: I got the email. is at his grandparents house until Monday.. so let Tommy know that will not reply until Monday afternoon. is extremely excited to be getting emails from other children.I finally broke down and told him what his DX was... He seemed very relived!! LOLJackieOn Jul 14, 2007, at 7:44 PM, Rose wrote:> Hello, If I did this right, I (Mom) sent your son an e-mail. If I got > the address right. Tommy will write him back. (he needs help with the > typing/spelling, and will take a long time). If you didn't get an > e-mail. There was a problem with the

e-mail address.> in the subject box: I typed pen-pal to matthew. >>> wrote:>> My son said the same thing... Can I go visit?? I'm excited for the two>> of them as well because they will work on some other skills besides>> friendship! Yeah I wish I was closer to a lot of the people of this>> group! There are so many nice moms and wonderful (just like my child)>> children!>>>> Jackie>> On Jul 13, 2007, at 12:07 PM, Rose wrote:>>>> > great... I'll have him start Saturday after his social skills>> > program. He's excited as well. He wanted to go to your house>> > to visit with him. LOL. to bad we aren't closer.>> >>> > wrote:No, I'm fine with real>> > names! For now... just use my

regular email>> >> address for too! I'll set up a folder on my computer for so>> >> that he can see when he has "pen pal" email! It's going to be so>> >> excited.>> >>>> >> Thanks Rose!!>> >>>> >> Jackie>> >> On Jul 12, 2007, at 7:43 PM, Rose wrote:>> >>>> >> > Great. my son is 10. If would like to e-mail him. He >> can>> >> > use my address, and in the subject space: put 'pen-pal' and we >> will>> >> > know its for him. Would you like to use nick names?>> >> > As soon as my son gets out of the shower, I'll let him know he >> has a>> >> > pen-pal. LOL >> >> >>> >> > wrote:>> >>

>> I just asked him and he's dancing around singing YES YES YES!! >> So>> >> I'm>> >> >> guessing that he would love to have an email pen pal!! His name >> is>> >> >> and he will be 11 years old in December. I'll set him >> up an>> >> >> email account tonight!!!>> >> >>>> >> >> I don't think there is anyone on this group that is close by...>> >> but we>> >> >> shall see! But for now the email thing would be perfect!>> >> >>>> >> >> Jackie>> >> >> On Jul 12, 2007, at 5:56 PM, Rose wrote:>> >> >>>> >> >> > If no one is close by, (I'm in N.Y.). Maybe others (on this>> >> >> > site) with children the same age as your son

can e-mail you >> off>> >> >> line>> >> >> > with their e-mail address and he can have a 'pen pal'. or >> maybe>> >> >> write>> >> >> > letters, or talk on the phone. they can be "HIS" >> friend. Maybe>> >> he>> >> >> can>> >> >> > even have his own e-mail address. Would that interest him?>> >> >> > >> >> >> > >> >> >> > >> >> >> >>> >> >> > wrote:>> >> >> >> Rose,>> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> These are all great suggestions! is only involved in>> >> Karate>> >> >> >>

right now. His only other interest is Video games. He will >> not>> >> >> >> participate in any group sports as he HATES sports! I am >> trying>> >> to>> >> >> >> locate a local support group that is more geared toward AS.>> >> There>> >> >> is a>> >> >> >> Special needs group that meets approx 30 minutes from my >> house>> >> but>> >> >> I>> >> >> >> think that is more of a "mom" support meeting even though>> >> children>> >> >> are>> >> >> >> welcomed. I just finished a Sleep Study at the Local >> Children's>> >> >> >> hospital and I had some great Mom's in my group and lucky >> for us>> >> >>

all>> >> >> >> we>> >> >> >> have children that are all about the same age. So we are>> >> planning>> >> >> on>> >> >> >> forming our own little group as soon as vacation season is >> over.>> >> >> I'm>> >> >> >> looking forward to that because the other mom's have children>> >> that>> >> >> are>> >> >> >> Dx with AS too!>> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> does not understand the concept of what a friend is>> >> >> either. He>> >> >> >> thinks when someone asks to "borrow" (which means keep in the>> >> other>> >> >> >> children's eyes) that they are his "friend". If they want

to>> >> play>> >> >> with>> >> >> >> him ONE day out of 7 then they are his friend. Basically >> anyone>> >> >> that>> >> >> >> his "nice" to him on a one time basis is his friend! We talk>> >> about>> >> >> >> what a friend is frequently and I try to help when the boys >> are>> >> >> over,>> >> >> >> but like I said I can not trust him going to the other's >> boy's>> >> >> house>> >> >> >> as>> >> >> >> they are unsupervised. These boys are all about 10 years old >> and>> >> >> they>> >> >> >> come knocking on our door as late as 8:30 pm!! I'm sorry if I>> >> sound>> >>

>> >> like a overprotective mother but my kids are usually in bed >> at>> >> this>> >> >> >> time... especially if it's a school night!!>> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> will do just about anything that someone tells him to>> >> do or>> >> >> >> dares whatever it is! So that's another reason I don't feel >> safe>> >> >> >> allowing him to go to far from home. There is one boy that he>> >> plays>> >> >> >> with that spends the night here that is very tolerate of>> >> .>> >> >> He's>> >> >> >> attuned into 's problems even though he doesn't know>> >> whats>> >> >> >> wrong>> >> >> >>

with him. Walter-- the friend has asked me several times why>> >> >> >> >> >> >> cries so easily and why he gets so mad... but he will usually>> >> try>> >> >> to>> >> >> >> calm down or talk him through it. He also tells the>> >> other>> >> >> boys>> >> >> >> to stop making fun of him! BUT... he(walter) likes to play >> with>> >> the>> >> >> >> other boys too and this ticks off because he thinks >> he>> >> >> should>> >> >> >> be the ONLY friend!! What a hard life to live!!!>> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> Maybe there's someone on this group that lives closeby... I>> >> live in>> >>

>> >> Gallatin, TN!!! Want to hook up for a Play date?????? LOL>> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> Jackie>> >> >> >> On Jul 12, 2007, at 11:08 AM, Rose wrote:>> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> > Hi Jackie,>> >> >> >> > The same problem here. there are a click (handful) of>> >> children>> >> >> that>> >> >> >> > are unsupervised under 12 and free to do what they want>> >> including>> >> >> >> > staying out till late hours. The ones that are supervised>> >> only>> >> >> have>> >> >> >> > scheduled playdates, have to stay in site of their parents.>> >> (like>> >> >> >> >

mine).>> >> >> >> > and of course when the unsupervised boys are separated. >> the>> >> one>> >> >> >> > that's left home with nothing to do would come over to play>> >> with>> >> >> my>> >> >> >> > son. great, He has a friend??? problem is, he asked if he>> >> could>> >> >> >> have>> >> >> >> > everything my son has. He just got a fishing pole still >> with>> >> >> tags. >> >> >> >> > and the kid wanted it. I explained to my son what a >> 'friend'>> >> >> is. >> >> >> >> > also asked if he thought these boys fit that description of>> >> >> >>

'friend'. >> >> >> >> > so, he played by himself for a while. He joined a boys & >> >> >> girls club>> >> >> >> > and gets to play with other children there. He also >> wants a>> >> >> 'best>> >> >> >> > friend' so bad. but right now, I'd rather him wait and >> play>> >> at>> >> >> the>> >> >> >> > boys club, than get into trouble or hurt feelings with >> those>> >> >> >> > unsupervised boys. I could easily see him doing something>> >> >> dangerous>> >> >> >> > just because he says he is strong or nothing bad can >> happen.>> >> >> >> (because>> >>

>> >> > he doesn't understand the concept of danger). >> >> >> >> > I think sometimes our children need some adult help when>> >> >> choosing a>> >> >> >> > friend. a little explaining that names "do hurt" and a>> >> 'friend'>> >> >> >> won't>> >> >> >> > call you names. Is your son involved in boyscouts?>> >> baseball?>> >> >> >> maybe>> >> >> >> > you can call one of those boys over for a playdate and if >> your>> >> >> son>> >> >> >> is>> >> >> >> > into fishing, movies, riding bikes. Maybe you can arrange >> for>> >> >> them>> >> >>

>> > both to do that together with you supervising until a>> >> friendship>> >> >> >> > develops. Just a thought. I wish I had more ideas for >> you. >> >> >> When>> >> >> >> the>> >> >> >> > boys call your son stupid. Have him say: takes on to know>> >> one>> >> >> -and>> >> >> >> > walk away. maybe not those exact words, but something to >> say>> >> >> >> back so>> >> >> >> > your son wont feel so hurt. Sorry he has to be around >> those>> >> >> mean>> >> >> >> > children. Do you have an aspergers support group near>> >>

you? If>> >> >> >> they>> >> >> >> > have children your sons age, mayby you can all meet at a >> park>> >> and>> >> >> >> see>> >> >> >> > who he gets along with???. *smile*>> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> > wrote:>> >> >> >> >> Kids are all so mean!! Sometimes I can completely >> understand>> >> why>> >> >> >> the>> >> >> >> >> kids don't want to play with my DS... but then again he >> is my>> >> >> >> child!!>> >> >> >> >> The neighborhood kids either are my son's best friend-- >> when>> >> >>

they>> >> >> >> want>> >> >> >> >> something or there's no one else to play or they hurl >> insults>> >> >> over>> >> >> >> our>> >> >> >> >> fence at my son. The worst insult to my son is "stupid"! >> He>> >> can>> >> >> >> >> handle them calling him a sissy or "Homo" much better than>> >> being>> >> >> >> >> called>> >> >> >> >> stupid! But then again after they call him stupid he's >> real>> >> >> quick>> >> >> >> to>> >> >> >> >> point out all the reason WHY he can't be stupid!! Which >> then>> >> >> makes>> >> >> >>

the>> >> >> >> >> boys all laugh and tell him to go in the house! All of the>> >> >> >> >> neighborhood kids... which all happen to be boys play >> mostly>> >> >> with>> >> >> >> my>> >> >> >> >> DD... which is sad! She is the one who rides bikes with >> them,>> >> >> >> tosses>> >> >> >> >> the football... you know typical boy things. is >> now>> >> >> >> beginning>> >> >> >> >> to notice this more! One of the boys was in the house>> >> yesterday>> >> >> and>> >> >> >> >> came to me and said "it happened again" and I said>> >> >> what...>> >>

>> >> and>> >> >> >> >> then told me my friend is playing with ... she took >> him>> >> >> away!>> >> >> >> So>> >> >> >> >> I made the girls and boys separate. That worked for a >> while!>> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> The friend thing is just getting worse and worse and >> causing>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> not to even want to go out in the yard to play. Plus some >> of>> >> the>> >> >> >> >> children in the neighborhood are the kinds of kids that I>> >> don't>> >> >> >> want>> >> >> >> >> my>> >> >> >> >>

children playing with out of my sight... if you know what >> I>> >> >> mean!>> >> >> >> They>> >> >> >> >> have NO parent supervision and are allowed to do pretty >> much>> >> >> >> whatever>> >> >> >> >> they want to do and that is NOT a good place for >> to>> >> be>> >> >> >> >> especially. So sometimes I think they invite over>> >> >> because>> >> >> >> they>> >> >> >> >> know I won't let him go just to see him have a breakdown >> in>> >> the>> >> >> >> yard.>> >> >> >> >> Believe me and I talk about this frequently, but >> when>>

>> >> the>> >> >> >> >> moment comes... all of our talking is out the window!!!>> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> This job of raising an AS child is Hard... just gotta >> figure>> >> out>> >> >> >> how>> >> >> >> >> to>> >> >> >> >> lick it!! LOL>> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> Jackie>> >> >> >> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 9:18 PM, Roxanna wrote:>> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> > The depression part has been a problem here for my 10 yo>> >> ds. >> >> >> The>> >> >> >> >> > "friend" thing is so awful. I

think it's the worst >> thing>> >> of>> >> >> >> all. >> >> >> >> >> The>> >> >> >> >> > kids in the neighborhood sometimes play with him but >> more>> >> >> often,>> >> >> >> >> they>> >> >> >> >> > tease him or exclude him. It's been tough to deal with>> >> this>> >> >> >> stuff>> >> >> >> >> > lately. >> >> >> >> >> > >> >> >> >> >> > Roxanna>> >> >> >> >> > Autism Happens>> >> >> >> >> >> Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have>> >> >> Asperger's!!!>> >> >> >> to>> >> >> >> >> >> Jackie>> >> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> >> This is the hard part that he sees himself as >> "defective">> >> I>> >> >> see>> >> >> >> >> him as>> >> >> >> >> >> a extremely smart child that is different! The>> >> developmental>> >> >> >>

doctor>> >> >> >> >> >> also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at >> times I>> >> >> notice>> >> >> >> >> that>> >> >> >> >> >> he uses these words to describe himself more >> frequently.>> >> He>> >> >> also>> >> >> >> >> calls>> >> >> >> >> >> himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is >> the>> >> >> only>> >> >> >> one>> >> >> >> >> who>> >> >> >> >> >> can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his>> >> sister>> >> >> >> calls>> >> >> >> >> him>> >>

>> >> >> >> a loser!!! We are on a "down" mood swing this week and>> >> it's>> >> >> very>> >> >> >> >> ugly>> >> >> >> >> >> around here! can't do anything himself and >> wants>> >> to>> >> >> be>> >> >> >> told>> >> >> >> >> >> everything to do step by step! Hard for me because I've>> >> got>> >> >> 10>> >> >> >> >> things>> >> >> >> >> >> going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get >> organized>> >> so>> >> >> that>> >> >> >> >> we as>> >> >> >> >> >> a family can STAY organized in

order to help >> from>> >> >> being>> >> >> >> so>> >> >> >> >> >> overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time >> crying>> >> >> and>> >> >> >> >> temper>> >> >> >> >> >> tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his>> >> youngest>> >> >> >> >> sister!!>> >> >> >> >> >> She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams>> >> (VERY>> >> >> >> >> LOUDLY)>> >> >> >> >> >> and then complains that she is screaming and hurting >> his>> >> >> ears...>> >> >> >> >> then>> >> >> >>

>> >> he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you >> tell>> >> >> that>> >> >> >> I'm>> >> >> >> >> >> stressed??? LOL>> >> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> >> This is the sad part of AS to me at least! The >> feelings of>> >> >> self>> >> >> >> >> >> worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart >> and>> >> that>> >> >> >> "he>> >> >> >> >> >> knows more than any of the other kids in his class" >> but he>> >> >> gets>> >> >> >> so>> >> >> >> >> >> upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a >>

bike,>> >> >> etc...>> >> >> >> >> I'm>> >> >> >> >> >> hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get >> his>> >> life>> >> >> >> and>> >> >> >> >> our>> >> >> >> >> >> family life on track and can help him to see that He is>> >> NOT>> >> >> >> >> >> defective... just a very unique child with different >> great>> >> >> >> >> qualities>> >> >> >> >> >> that others do not possess!!>> >> >> >> >> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:>> >> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> >> > ...but he

calls it defective!>> >> >> >> >> >> > my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5>> >> >> >> >> >> > I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it. >> he>> >> >> says>> >> >> >> he>> >> >> >> >> is a>> >> >> >> >> >> > loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My >> ds>> >> even>> >> >> >> >> blames>> >> >> >> >> >> it>> >> >> >> >> >> > on his own glasses for the reason he "can't do >> anything>> >> >> right">> >> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >>

>> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >

[Guest guest]

I'm sure that will have more questions as time goes by, but he

did seem relieved and a bit anxious today. I had him read a book

called " asbergers HUH " ! Very good book to introduce AS to a older

child. It was funny because he read it and started complaining that

the boy in the book sure did like the weather! I laughed and said...

that's just like you with your video games and it was Space when you

were little!! He looked at me like I was crazy for a minute and then

said Ok!

I made a huge deal about AS being the REASON for some things but not an

EXCUSE! So hopefully that will help so it won't just say " I have AS so

I can't do that " ...

Another BIGGIE for us... TODAY rode his bike for the FIRST

time!! I was so happy... it was like seeing him take his first steps.

Now he can only go straight and only balance for a bit... but he rode

from our driveway to the neighbors before he lost his balance! HE was

so proud!! So I made a big deal out of how He can do anything when he

sets his mind to it!!

It's been a big day for us! Still need to take that breath! LOL

Jackie

On Jul 14, 2007, at 10:03 PM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:

> That's awesome that he took it so well.

> Ahhh.......now you can breathe.

> Hee he.

> Robin

>

> <hunebear3@...> wrote:

>> I got the email. is at his grandparents house until Monday..

>> so let Tommy know that will not reply until Monday afternoon.

>> is extremely excited to be getting emails from other children.

>>

>> I finally broke down and told him what his DX was... He seemed very

>> relived!! LOL

>>

>> Jackie

>> On Jul 14, 2007, at 7:44 PM, Rose wrote:

>>

>> > Hello, If I did this right, I (Mom) sent your son an e-mail.  If I

>> got

>> > the address right.  Tommy will write him back. (he needs help with

>> the

>> > typing/spelling, and will take a long time).   If you didn't get an

>> > e-mail.  There was a problem with the e-mail address.

>> > in the subject box:  I typed pen-pal  to matthew. 

>> >

>> >

>> > wrote:

>> >> My son said the same thing... Can I go visit?? I'm excited for the

>> two

>> >> of them as well because they will work on some other skills besides

>> >> friendship! Yeah I wish I was closer to a lot of the people of this

>> >> group! There are so many nice moms and wonderful (just like my

>> child)

>> >> children!

>> >>

>> >> Jackie

>> >> On Jul 13, 2007, at 12:07 PM, Rose wrote:

>> >>

>> >> > great... I'll have him start Saturday after his social skills

>> >> > program.  He's excited as well.  He wanted to go to your house

>> >> > to visit with him.  LOL.  to bad we aren't closer.

>> >> >

>> >> > wrote:No, I'm fine with real

>> >> > names! For now... just use my regular email

>> >> >> address for too! I'll set up a folder on my computer for

>> so

>> >> >> that he can see when he has " pen pal " email! It's going to be so

>> >> >> excited.

>> >> >>

>> >> >> Thanks Rose!!

>> >> >>

>> >> >> Jackie

>> >> >> On Jul 12, 2007, at 7:43 PM, Rose wrote:

>> >> >>

>> >> >> > Great.  my son is 10.  If would like to e-mail him. 

>> He

>> >> can

>> >> >> > use my address, and in the subject space:  put 'pen-pal' and

>> we

>> >> will

>> >> >> > know its for him.  Would you like to use nick names?

>> >> >> > As soon as my son gets out of the shower, I'll let him know he

>> >> has a

>> >> >> > pen-pal.  LOL 

>> >> >> >

>> >> >> > wrote:

>> >> >> >> I just asked him and he's dancing around singing YES YES

>> YES!!

>> >> So

>> >> >> I'm

>> >> >> >> guessing that he would love to have an email pen pal!! His

>> name

>> >> is

>> >> >> >> and he will be 11 years old in December. I'll set him

>> >> up an

>> >> >> >> email account tonight!!!

>> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> I don't think there is anyone on this group that is close

>> by...

>> >> >> but we

>> >> >> >> shall see! But for now the email thing would be perfect!

>> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> Jackie

>> >> >> >> On Jul 12, 2007, at 5:56 PM, Rose wrote:

>> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> > If no one is close by, (I'm in N.Y.).  Maybe others (on

>> this

>> >> >> >> > site) with children the same age as your son  can e-mail

>> you

>> >> off

>> >> >> >> line

>> >> >> >> > with their e-mail address and he can have a 'pen pal'.  or

>> >> maybe

>> >> >> >> write

>> >> >> >> > letters, or talk on the phone.  they can be " HIS "

>> >> friend. Maybe

>> >> >> he

>> >> >> >> can

>> >> >> >> > even have his own e-mail address.   Would that interest

>> him?

>> >> >> >> >  

>> >> >> >> >  

>> >> >> >> >  

>> >> >> >> >

>> >> >> >> > wrote:

>> >> >> >> >> Rose,

>> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> These are all great suggestions! is only involved

>> in

>> >> >> Karate

>> >> >> >> >> right now. His only other interest is Video games. He will

>> >> not

>> >> >> >> >> participate in any group sports as he HATES sports! I am

>> >> trying

>> >> >> to

>> >> >> >> >> locate a local support group that is more geared toward

>> AS.

>> >> >> There

>> >> >> >> is a

>> >> >> >> >> Special needs group that meets approx 30 minutes from my

>> >> house

>> >> >> but

>> >> >> >> I

>> >> >> >> >> think that is more of a " mom " support meeting even though

>> >> >> children

>> >> >> >> are

>> >> >> >> >> welcomed. I just finished a Sleep Study at the Local

>> >> Children's

>> >> >> >> >> hospital and I had some great Mom's in my group and lucky

>> >> for us

>> >> >> >> all

>> >> >> >> >> we

>> >> >> >> >> have children that are all about the same age. So we are

>> >> >> planning

>> >> >> >> on

>> >> >> >> >> forming our own little group as soon as vacation season is

>> >> over.

>> >> >> >> I'm

>> >> >> >> >> looking forward to that because the other mom's have

>> children

>> >> >> that

>> >> >> >> are

>> >> >> >> >> Dx with AS too!

>> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> does not understand the concept of what a friend

>> is

>> >> >> >> either. He

>> >> >> >> >> thinks when someone asks to " borrow " (which means keep in

>> the

>> >> >> other

>> >> >> >> >> children's eyes) that they are his " friend " . If they want

>> to

>> >> >> play

>> >> >> >> with

>> >> >> >> >> him ONE day out of 7 then they are his friend. Basically

>> >> anyone

>> >> >> >> that

>> >> >> >> >> his " nice " to him on a one time basis is his friend! We

>> talk

>> >> >> about

>> >> >> >> >> what a friend is frequently and I try to help when the

>> boys

>> >> are

>> >> >> >> over,

>> >> >> >> >> but like I said I can not trust him going to the other's

>> >> boy's

>> >> >> >> house

>> >> >> >> >> as

>> >> >> >> >> they are unsupervised. These boys are all about 10 years

>> old

>> >> and

>> >> >> >> they

>> >> >> >> >> come knocking on our door as late as 8:30 pm!! I'm sorry

>> if I

>> >> >> sound

>> >> >> >> >> like a overprotective mother but my kids are usually in

>> bed

>> >> at

>> >> >> this

>> >> >> >> >> time... especially if it's a school night!!

>> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> will do just about anything that someone tells

>> him to

>> >> >> do or

>> >> >> >> >> dares whatever it is! So that's another reason I don't

>> feel

>> >> safe

>> >> >> >> >> allowing him to go to far from home. There is one boy

>> that he

>> >> >> plays

>> >> >> >> >> with that spends the night here that is very tolerate of

>> >> >> .

>> >> >> >> He's

>> >> >> >> >> attuned into 's problems even though he doesn't

>> know

>> >> >> whats

>> >> >> >> >> wrong

>> >> >> >> >> with him. Walter-- the friend has asked me several times

>> why

>> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> cries so easily and why he gets so mad... but he will

>> usually

>> >> >> try

>> >> >> >> to

>> >> >> >> >> calm down or talk him through it. He also tells

>> the

>> >> >> other

>> >> >> >> boys

>> >> >> >> >> to stop making fun of him! BUT... he(walter) likes to play

>> >> with

>> >> >> the

>> >> >> >> >> other boys too and this ticks off because he

>> thinks

>> >> he

>> >> >> >> should

>> >> >> >> >> be the ONLY friend!! What a hard life to live!!!

>> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> Maybe there's someone on this group that lives closeby...

>> I

>> >> >> live in

>> >> >> >> >> Gallatin, TN!!! Want to hook up for a Play date?????? LOL

>> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> Jackie

>> >> >> >> >> On Jul 12, 2007, at 11:08 AM, Rose wrote:

>> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> > Hi Jackie,

>> >> >> >> >> > The same problem here.  there are a click (handful) of

>> >> >> children

>> >> >> >> that

>> >> >> >> >> > are unsupervised under 12 and free to do what they want

>> >> >> including

>> >> >> >> >> > staying out till late hours.  The ones that are

>> supervised

>> >> >> only

>> >> >> >> have

>> >> >> >> >> > scheduled playdates, have to stay in site of their

>> parents.

>> >> >> (like

>> >> >> >> >> > mine).

>> >> >> >> >> > and of course when the unsupervised boys are separated. 

>> >> the

>> >> >> one

>> >> >> >> >> > that's left home with nothing to do would come over to

>> play

>> >> >> with

>> >> >> >> my

>> >> >> >> >> > son.  great, He has a friend???  problem is, he asked

>> if he

>> >> >> could

>> >> >> >> >> have

>> >> >> >> >> > everything my son has.  He just got a fishing pole still

>> >> with

>> >> >> >> tags. 

>> >> >> >> >> > and the kid wanted it.  I explained to my son what a

>> >> 'friend'

>> >> >> >> is. 

>> >> >> >> >> > also asked if he thought these boys fit that

>> description of

>> >> >> >> >> 'friend'. 

>> >> >> >> >> > so, he played by himself for a while.  He joined a boys

>> &

>> >> >> >> girls club

>> >> >> >> >> > and gets to play with other children there.   He also

>> >> wants a

>> >> >> >> 'best

>> >> >> >> >> > friend' so bad.  but right now, I'd rather him wait and

>> >> play

>> >> >> at

>> >> >> >> the

>> >> >> >> >> > boys club, than get into trouble or hurt feelings with

>> >> those

>> >> >> >> >> > unsupervised boys.  I could easily see him doing

>> something

>> >> >> >> dangerous

>> >> >> >> >> > just because he says he is strong or nothing bad can

>> >> happen.

>> >> >> >> >> (because

>> >> >> >> >> > he doesn't understand the concept of danger).  

>> >> >> >> >> > I think sometimes our children need some adult help when

>> >> >> >> choosing a

>> >> >> >> >> > friend.  a little explaining that names " do hurt " and a

>> >> >> 'friend'

>> >> >> >> >> won't

>> >> >> >> >> > call you names.    Is your son involved in boyscouts?

>> >> >> baseball?

>> >> >> >> >> maybe

>> >> >> >> >> > you can call one of those boys over for a playdate and

>> if

>> >> your

>> >> >> >> son

>> >> >> >> >> is

>> >> >> >> >> > into fishing, movies, riding bikes.  Maybe you can

>> arrange

>> >> for

>> >> >> >> them

>> >> >> >> >> > both to do that together with you supervising until a

>> >> >> friendship

>> >> >> >> >> > develops.  Just a thought.  I wish I had more ideas for

>> >> you. 

>> >> >> >> When

>> >> >> >> >> the

>> >> >> >> >> > boys call your son stupid.  Have him say:  takes on to

>> know

>> >> >> one

>> >> >> >> -and

>> >> >> >> >> > walk away.  maybe not those exact words, but something

>> to

>> >> say

>> >> >> >> >> back so

>> >> >> >> >> > your son wont feel so hurt.   Sorry he has to be around

>> >> those

>> >> >> >> mean

>> >> >> >> >> > children.   Do you have an aspergers support group near

>> >> >> you?  If

>> >> >> >> >> they

>> >> >> >> >> > have children your sons age, mayby you can all meet at a

>> >> park

>> >> >> and

>> >> >> >> >> see

>> >> >> >> >> > who he gets along with???.   *smile*

>> >> >> >> >> >

>> >> >> >> >> > wrote:

>> >> >> >> >> >> Kids are all so mean!! Sometimes I can completely

>> >> understand

>> >> >> why

>> >> >> >> >> the

>> >> >> >> >> >> kids don't want to play with my DS... but then again he

>> >> is my

>> >> >> >> >> child!!

>> >> >> >> >> >> The neighborhood kids either are my son's best friend--

>> >> when

>> >> >> >> they

>> >> >> >> >> want

>> >> >> >> >> >> something or there's no one else to play or they hurl

>> >> insults

>> >> >> >> over

>> >> >> >> >> our

>> >> >> >> >> >> fence at my son. The worst insult to my son is

>> " stupid " !

>> >> He

>> >> >> can

>> >> >> >> >> >> handle them calling him a sissy or " Homo " much better

>> than

>> >> >> being

>> >> >> >> >> >> called

>> >> >> >> >> >> stupid! But then again after they call him stupid he's

>> >> real

>> >> >> >> quick

>> >> >> >> >> to

>> >> >> >> >> >> point out all the reason WHY he can't be stupid!! Which

>> >> then

>> >> >> >> makes

>> >> >> >> >> the

>> >> >> >> >> >> boys all laugh and tell him to go in the house! All of

>> the

>> >> >> >> >> >> neighborhood kids... which all happen to be boys play

>> >> mostly

>> >> >> >> with

>> >> >> >> >> my

>> >> >> >> >> >> DD... which is sad! She is the one who rides bikes with

>> >> them,

>> >> >> >> >> tosses

>> >> >> >> >> >> the football... you know typical boy things. is

>> >> now

>> >> >> >> >> beginning

>> >> >> >> >> >> to notice this more! One of the boys was in the house

>> >> >> yesterday

>> >> >> >> and

>> >> >> >> >> >> came to me and said " it happened again " and I

>> said

>> >> >> >> what...

>> >> >> >> >> and

>> >> >> >> >> >> then told me my friend is playing with ... she

>> took

>> >> him

>> >> >> >> away!

>> >> >> >> >> So

>> >> >> >> >> >> I made the girls and boys separate. That worked for a

>> >> while!

>> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> The friend thing is just getting worse and worse and

>> >> causing

>> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> not to even want to go out in the yard to play. Plus

>> some

>> >> of

>> >> >> the

>> >> >> >> >> >> children in the neighborhood are the kinds of kids

>> that I

>> >> >> don't

>> >> >> >> >> want

>> >> >> >> >> >> my

>> >> >> >> >> >> children playing with out of my sight... if you know

>> what

>> >> I

>> >> >> >> mean!

>> >> >> >> >> They

>> >> >> >> >> >> have NO parent supervision and are allowed to do pretty

>> >> much

>> >> >> >> >> whatever

>> >> >> >> >> >> they want to do and that is NOT a good place for

>>

>> >> to

>> >> >> be

>> >> >> >> >> >> especially. So sometimes I think they invite

>> over

>> >> >> >> because

>> >> >> >> >> they

>> >> >> >> >> >> know I won't let him go just to see him have a

>> breakdown

>> >> in

>> >> >> the

>> >> >> >> >> yard.

>> >> >> >> >> >> Believe me and I talk about this frequently,

>> but

>> >> when

>> >> >> >> the

>> >> >> >> >> >> moment comes... all of our talking is out the window!!!

>> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> This job of raising an AS child is Hard... just gotta

>> >> figure

>> >> >> out

>> >> >> >> >> how

>> >> >> >> >> >> to

>> >> >> >> >> >> lick it!! LOL

>> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> Jackie

>> >> >> >> >> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 9:18 PM, Roxanna wrote:

>> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> > The depression part has been a problem here for my

>> 10 yo

>> >> >> ds. 

>> >> >> >> The

>> >> >> >> >> >> > " friend " thing is so awful.  I think it's the worst

>> >> thing

>> >> >> of

>> >> >> >> >> all. 

>> >> >> >> >> >> The

>> >> >> >> >> >> > kids in the neighborhood sometimes play with him but

>> >> more

>> >> >> >> often,

>> >> >> >> >> >> they

>> >> >> >> >> >> > tease him or exclude him.  It's been tough to deal

>> with

>> >> >> this

>> >> >> >> >> stuff

>> >> >> >> >> >> > lately. 

>> >> >> >> >> >> >  

>> >> >> >> >> >> > Roxanna

>> >> >> >> >> >> > Autism Happens

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have

>> >> >> >> Asperger's!!!

>> >> >> >> >> to

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> Jackie

>> >> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> This is the hard part that he sees himself as

>> >> " defective "

>> >> >> I

>> >> >> >> see

>> >> >> >> >> >> him as

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> a extremely smart child that is different! The

>> >> >> developmental

>> >> >> >> >> doctor

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at

>> >> times I

>> >> >> >> notice

>> >> >> >> >> >> that

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> he uses these words to describe himself more

>> >> frequently.

>> >> >> He

>> >> >> >> also

>> >> >> >> >> >> calls

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he

>> is

>> >> the

>> >> >> >> only

>> >> >> >> >> one

>> >> >> >> >> >> who

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if

>> his

>> >> >> sister

>> >> >> >> >> calls

>> >> >> >> >> >> him

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> a loser!!! We are on a " down " mood swing this week

>> and

>> >> >> it's

>> >> >> >> very

>> >> >> >> >> >> ugly

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> around here! can't do anything himself and

>> >> wants

>> >> >> to

>> >> >> >> be

>> >> >> >> >> told

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> everything to do step by step! Hard for me because

>> I've

>> >> >> got

>> >> >> >> 10

>> >> >> >> >> >> things

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get

>> >> organized

>> >> >> so

>> >> >> >> that

>> >> >> >> >> >> we as

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> a family can STAY organized in order to help

>> >> from

>> >> >> >> being

>> >> >> >> >> so

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time

>> >> crying

>> >> >> >> and

>> >> >> >> >> >> temper

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his

>> >> >> youngest

>> >> >> >> >> >> sister!!

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> She's a screamer and he picks on her until she

>> screams

>> >> >> (VERY

>> >> >> >> >> >> LOUDLY)

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> and then complains that she is screaming and hurting

>> >> his

>> >> >> >> ears...

>> >> >> >> >> >> then

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you

>> >> tell

>> >> >> >> that

>> >> >> >> >> I'm

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> stressed??? LOL

>> >> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> This is the sad part of AS to me at least! The

>> >> feelings of

>> >> >> >> self

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart

>> >> and

>> >> >> that

>> >> >> >> >> " he

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> knows more than any of the other kids in his class "

>> >> but he

>> >> >> >> gets

>> >> >> >> >> so

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a

>> >> bike,

>> >> >> >> etc...

>> >> >> >> >> >> I'm

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get

>> >> his

>> >> >> life

>> >> >> >> >> and

>> >> >> >> >> >> our

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> family life on track and can help him to see that

>> He is

>> >> >> NOT

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> defective... just a very unique child with different

>> >> great

>> >> >> >> >> >> qualities

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> that others do not possess!!

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:

>> >> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > ...but he calls it defective!

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle

>> it.

>> >> he

>> >> >> >> says

>> >> >> >> >> he

>> >> >> >> >> >> is a

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one.

>> My

>> >> ds

>> >> >> even

>> >> >> >> >> >> blames

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> it

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > on his own glasses for the reason he " can't do

>> >> anything

>> >> >> >> right "

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >

[Guest guest]

That's great about him riding his bike!! There's no stopping him now!!! Ian always thinks that if he's done something once or has 'tried' it, that he's an expert....ha ha. He just read "Aspergers, Huh?", also. I liked it too,,,,,,but there were a few parts I didn't like. Like, when it would tell him that he shouldn't "be the way he is"......to fit in. I mean,,,,I agree. But,,,,,,,,,,I would have him rather hear that you should just BE who you are. Eventually, someone will be ok with you, like you are. Oh well. I did like, though, how it basically told it like it is........."If you don't want people to think you're a bit odd,,,,,,,don't do it...."......just seemed kind of harsh... Heehee. Have a good one!!Robin <hunebear3@...> wrote: I'm sure that will have more questions as time goes by, but he did seem relieved and a bit anxious today. I had him read a book called "asbergers HUH"! Very good book to introduce AS to a older child. It was funny because he read it and started complaining that the boy in the book sure did like the weather! I laughed and said... that's just like you with your video games and it was Space when you were little!! He looked at me like I was crazy for a minute and then said Ok!I made a huge deal about AS being the REASON for some things but not an EXCUSE! So hopefully that will help so it won't just say "I have AS so I can't do that"...Another BIGGIE for us... TODAY rode his bike for the FIRST time!! I was so happy... it was like seeing him take his first steps. Now he can only go straight and only balance for a bit... but he rode from our driveway

to the neighbors before he lost his balance! HE was so proud!! So I made a big deal out of how He can do anything when he sets his mind to it!!It's been a big day for us! Still need to take that breath! LOLJackieOn Jul 14, 2007, at 10:03 PM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:> That's awesome that he took it so well.> Ahhh.......now you can breathe.> Hee he.> Robin>> wrote:>> I got the email. is at his grandparents house until Monday..>> so let Tommy know that will not reply until Monday afternoon.>> is extremely excited to be getting emails from other children.>>>> I finally broke down and told him what his DX was... He seemed very>> relived!! LOL>>>> Jackie>> On Jul 14, 2007, at 7:44 PM, Rose wrote:>>>> > Hello, If I did this

right, I (Mom) sent your son an e-mail. If I >> got>> > the address right. Tommy will write him back. (he needs help with >> the>> > typing/spelling, and will take a long time). If you didn't get an>> > e-mail. There was a problem with the e-mail address.>> > in the subject box: I typed pen-pal to matthew. >> >>> >>> > wrote:>> >> My son said the same thing... Can I go visit?? I'm excited for the >> two>> >> of them as well because they will work on some other skills besides>> >> friendship! Yeah I wish I was closer to a lot of the people of this>> >> group! There are so many nice moms and wonderful (just like my >> child)>> >> children!>> >>>> >> Jackie>> >>

On Jul 13, 2007, at 12:07 PM, Rose wrote:>> >>>> >> > great... I'll have him start Saturday after his social skills>> >> > program. He's excited as well. He wanted to go to your house>> >> > to visit with him. LOL. to bad we aren't closer.>> >> >>> >> > wrote:No, I'm fine with real>> >> > names! For now... just use my regular email>> >> >> address for too! I'll set up a folder on my computer for >> so>> >> >> that he can see when he has "pen pal" email! It's going to be so>> >> >> excited.>> >> >>>> >> >> Thanks Rose!!>> >> >>>> >> >> Jackie>> >> >> On Jul 12, 2007, at 7:43 PM, Rose wrote:>> >>

>>>> >> >> > Great. my son is 10. If would like to e-mail him. >> He>> >> can>> >> >> > use my address, and in the subject space: put 'pen-pal' and >> we>> >> will>> >> >> > know its for him. Would you like to use nick names?>> >> >> > As soon as my son gets out of the shower, I'll let him know he>> >> has a>> >> >> > pen-pal. LOL >> >> >> >>> >> >> > wrote:>> >> >> >> I just asked him and he's dancing around singing YES YES >> YES!!>> >> So>> >> >> I'm>> >> >> >> guessing that he would love to have an email pen pal!! His >> name>> >>

is>> >> >> >> and he will be 11 years old in December. I'll set him>> >> up an>> >> >> >> email account tonight!!!>> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> I don't think there is anyone on this group that is close >> by...>> >> >> but we>> >> >> >> shall see! But for now the email thing would be perfect!>> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> Jackie>> >> >> >> On Jul 12, 2007, at 5:56 PM, Rose wrote:>> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> > If no one is close by, (I'm in N.Y.). Maybe others (on >> this>> >> >> >> > site) with children the same age as your son can e-mail >> you>> >> off>>

>> >> >> line>> >> >> >> > with their e-mail address and he can have a 'pen pal'. or>> >> maybe>> >> >> >> write>> >> >> >> > letters, or talk on the phone. they can be "HIS">> >> friend. Maybe>> >> >> he>> >> >> >> can>> >> >> >> > even have his own e-mail address. Would that interest >> him?>> >> >> >> > >> >> >> >> > >> >> >> >> > >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> > wrote:>> >> >> >> >> Rose,>> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> These are all

great suggestions! is only involved >> in>> >> >> Karate>> >> >> >> >> right now. His only other interest is Video games. He will>> >> not>> >> >> >> >> participate in any group sports as he HATES sports! I am>> >> trying>> >> >> to>> >> >> >> >> locate a local support group that is more geared toward >> AS.>> >> >> There>> >> >> >> is a>> >> >> >> >> Special needs group that meets approx 30 minutes from my>> >> house>> >> >> but>> >> >> >> I>> >> >> >> >> think that is more of a "mom" support meeting even though>> >> >> children>> >> >> >>

are>> >> >> >> >> welcomed. I just finished a Sleep Study at the Local>> >> Children's>> >> >> >> >> hospital and I had some great Mom's in my group and lucky>> >> for us>> >> >> >> all>> >> >> >> >> we>> >> >> >> >> have children that are all about the same age. So we are>> >> >> planning>> >> >> >> on>> >> >> >> >> forming our own little group as soon as vacation season is>> >> over.>> >> >> >> I'm>> >> >> >> >> looking forward to that because the other mom's have >> children>> >> >> that>> >> >> >> are>> >> >> >> >> Dx with AS

too!>> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> does not understand the concept of what a friend >> is>> >> >> >> either. He>> >> >> >> >> thinks when someone asks to "borrow" (which means keep in >> the>> >> >> other>> >> >> >> >> children's eyes) that they are his "friend". If they want >> to>> >> >> play>> >> >> >> with>> >> >> >> >> him ONE day out of 7 then they are his friend. Basically>> >> anyone>> >> >> >> that>> >> >> >> >> his "nice" to him on a one time basis is his friend! We >> talk>> >> >> about>> >> >> >> >> what a friend is

frequently and I try to help when the >> boys>> >> are>> >> >> >> over,>> >> >> >> >> but like I said I can not trust him going to the other's>> >> boy's>> >> >> >> house>> >> >> >> >> as>> >> >> >> >> they are unsupervised. These boys are all about 10 years >> old>> >> and>> >> >> >> they>> >> >> >> >> come knocking on our door as late as 8:30 pm!! I'm sorry >> if I>> >> >> sound>> >> >> >> >> like a overprotective mother but my kids are usually in >> bed>> >> at>> >> >> this>> >> >> >> >> time... especially if it's a school night!!>>

>> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> will do just about anything that someone tells >> him to>> >> >> do or>> >> >> >> >> dares whatever it is! So that's another reason I don't >> feel>> >> safe>> >> >> >> >> allowing him to go to far from home. There is one boy >> that he>> >> >> plays>> >> >> >> >> with that spends the night here that is very tolerate of>> >> >> .>> >> >> >> He's>> >> >> >> >> attuned into 's problems even though he doesn't >> know>> >> >> whats>> >> >> >> >> wrong>> >> >> >> >> with him. Walter-- the friend has asked

me several times >> why>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> cries so easily and why he gets so mad... but he will >> usually>> >> >> try>> >> >> >> to>> >> >> >> >> calm down or talk him through it. He also tells >> the>> >> >> other>> >> >> >> boys>> >> >> >> >> to stop making fun of him! BUT... he(walter) likes to play>> >> with>> >> >> the>> >> >> >> >> other boys too and this ticks off because he >> thinks>> >> he>> >> >> >> should>> >> >> >> >> be the ONLY friend!! What a hard life to live!!!>> >> >> >>

>>>> >> >> >> >> Maybe there's someone on this group that lives closeby... >> I>> >> >> live in>> >> >> >> >> Gallatin, TN!!! Want to hook up for a Play date?????? LOL>> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> Jackie>> >> >> >> >> On Jul 12, 2007, at 11:08 AM, Rose wrote:>> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> > Hi Jackie,>> >> >> >> >> > The same problem here. there are a click (handful) of>> >> >> children>> >> >> >> that>> >> >> >> >> > are unsupervised under 12 and free to do what they want>> >> >> including>> >> >> >> >> > staying

out till late hours. The ones that are >> supervised>> >> >> only>> >> >> >> have>> >> >> >> >> > scheduled playdates, have to stay in site of their >> parents.>> >> >> (like>> >> >> >> >> > mine).>> >> >> >> >> > and of course when the unsupervised boys are separated. >> >> the>> >> >> one>> >> >> >> >> > that's left home with nothing to do would come over to >> play>> >> >> with>> >> >> >> my>> >> >> >> >> > son. great, He has a friend??? problem is, he asked >> if he>> >> >> could>> >> >> >> >>

have>> >> >> >> >> > everything my son has. He just got a fishing pole still>> >> with>> >> >> >> tags. >> >> >> >> >> > and the kid wanted it. I explained to my son what a>> >> 'friend'>> >> >> >> is. >> >> >> >> >> > also asked if he thought these boys fit that >> description of>> >> >> >> >> 'friend'. >> >> >> >> >> > so, he played by himself for a while. He joined a boys >> & >> >> >> >> girls club>> >> >> >> >> > and gets to play with other children there. He also>> >> wants a>> >> >> >> 'best>> >>

>> >> >> > friend' so bad. but right now, I'd rather him wait and>> >> play>> >> >> at>> >> >> >> the>> >> >> >> >> > boys club, than get into trouble or hurt feelings with>> >> those>> >> >> >> >> > unsupervised boys. I could easily see him doing >> something>> >> >> >> dangerous>> >> >> >> >> > just because he says he is strong or nothing bad can>> >> happen.>> >> >> >> >> (because>> >> >> >> >> > he doesn't understand the concept of danger). >> >> >> >> >> > I think sometimes our children need some adult help when>> >> >> >>

choosing a>> >> >> >> >> > friend. a little explaining that names "do hurt" and a>> >> >> 'friend'>> >> >> >> >> won't>> >> >> >> >> > call you names. Is your son involved in boyscouts?>> >> >> baseball?>> >> >> >> >> maybe>> >> >> >> >> > you can call one of those boys over for a playdate and >> if>> >> your>> >> >> >> son>> >> >> >> >> is>> >> >> >> >> > into fishing, movies, riding bikes. Maybe you can >> arrange>> >> for>> >> >> >> them>> >> >> >> >> > both to do that together with you supervising until

a>> >> >> friendship>> >> >> >> >> > develops. Just a thought. I wish I had more ideas for>> >> you. >> >> >> >> When>> >> >> >> >> the>> >> >> >> >> > boys call your son stupid. Have him say: takes on to >> know>> >> >> one>> >> >> >> -and>> >> >> >> >> > walk away. maybe not those exact words, but something >> to>> >> say>> >> >> >> >> back so>> >> >> >> >> > your son wont feel so hurt. Sorry he has to be around>> >> those>> >> >> >> mean>> >> >> >> >> >

children. Do you have an aspergers support group near>> >> >> you? If>> >> >> >> >> they>> >> >> >> >> > have children your sons age, mayby you can all meet at a>> >> park>> >> >> and>> >> >> >> >> see>> >> >> >> >> > who he gets along with???. *smile*>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> > wrote:>> >> >> >> >> >> Kids are all so mean!! Sometimes I can completely>> >> understand>> >> >> why>> >> >> >> >> the>> >> >> >> >> >> kids don't want to play with my DS... but then again he>>

>> is my>> >> >> >> >> child!!>> >> >> >> >> >> The neighborhood kids either are my son's best friend-->> >> when>> >> >> >> they>> >> >> >> >> want>> >> >> >> >> >> something or there's no one else to play or they hurl>> >> insults>> >> >> >> over>> >> >> >> >> our>> >> >> >> >> >> fence at my son. The worst insult to my son is >> "stupid"!>> >> He>> >> >> can>> >> >> >> >> >> handle them calling him a sissy or "Homo" much better >> than>> >> >> being>> >> >> >> >> >> called>> >> >>

>> >> >> stupid! But then again after they call him stupid he's>> >> real>> >> >> >> quick>> >> >> >> >> to>> >> >> >> >> >> point out all the reason WHY he can't be stupid!! Which>> >> then>> >> >> >> makes>> >> >> >> >> the>> >> >> >> >> >> boys all laugh and tell him to go in the house! All of >> the>> >> >> >> >> >> neighborhood kids... which all happen to be boys play>> >> mostly>> >> >> >> with>> >> >> >> >> my>> >> >> >> >> >> DD... which is sad! She is the one who rides bikes with>> >> them,>> >> >> >>

>> tosses>> >> >> >> >> >> the football... you know typical boy things. is>> >> now>> >> >> >> >> beginning>> >> >> >> >> >> to notice this more! One of the boys was in the house>> >> >> yesterday>> >> >> >> and>> >> >> >> >> >> came to me and said "it happened again" and I >> said>> >> >> >> what...>> >> >> >> >> and>> >> >> >> >> >> then told me my friend is playing with ... she >> took>> >> him>> >> >> >> away!>> >> >> >> >> So>> >> >> >> >> >> I made the girls and boys separate. That worked

for a>> >> while!>> >> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> >> The friend thing is just getting worse and worse and>> >> causing>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> not to even want to go out in the yard to play. Plus >> some>> >> of>> >> >> the>> >> >> >> >> >> children in the neighborhood are the kinds of kids >> that I>> >> >> don't>> >> >> >> >> want>> >> >> >> >> >> my>> >> >> >> >> >> children playing with out of my sight... if you know >> what>> >> I>> >> >> >> mean!>> >> >> >>

>> They>> >> >> >> >> >> have NO parent supervision and are allowed to do pretty>> >> much>> >> >> >> >> whatever>> >> >> >> >> >> they want to do and that is NOT a good place for >> >> >> to>> >> >> be>> >> >> >> >> >> especially. So sometimes I think they invite >> over>> >> >> >> because>> >> >> >> >> they>> >> >> >> >> >> know I won't let him go just to see him have a >> breakdown>> >> in>> >> >> the>> >> >> >> >> yard.>> >> >> >> >> >> Believe me and I talk about this frequently, >>

but>> >> when>> >> >> >> the>> >> >> >> >> >> moment comes... all of our talking is out the window!!!>> >> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> >> This job of raising an AS child is Hard... just gotta>> >> figure>> >> >> out>> >> >> >> >> how>> >> >> >> >> >> to>> >> >> >> >> >> lick it!! LOL>> >> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> >> Jackie>> >> >> >> >> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 9:18 PM, Roxanna wrote:>> >> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> >> > The depression part has been a problem here for

my >> 10 yo>> >> >> ds. >> >> >> >> The>> >> >> >> >> >> > "friend" thing is so awful. I think it's the worst>> >> thing>> >> >> of>> >> >> >> >> all. >> >> >> >> >> >> The>> >> >> >> >> >> > kids in the neighborhood sometimes play with him but>> >> more>> >> >> >> often,>> >> >> >> >> >> they>> >> >> >> >> >> > tease him or exclude him. It's been tough to deal >> with>> >> >> this>> >> >> >> >> stuff>> >> >> >> >> >> > lately. >> >> >>

>> >> >> > >> >> >> >> >> >> > Roxanna>> >> >> >> >> >> > Autism Happens>> >> >> >> >> >> >> Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have>> >> >> >> Asperger's!!!>> >> >> >> >> to>> >> >> >> >> >> >> Jackie>> >> >> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >>

>> >>>> >> >> >> >> >> >> This is the hard part that he sees himself as>> >> "defective">> >> >> I>> >> >> >> see>> >> >> >> >> >> him as>> >> >> >> >> >> >> a extremely smart child that is different! The>> >> >> developmental>> >> >> >> >> doctor>> >> >> >> >> >> >> also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at>> >> times I>> >> >> >> notice>> >> >> >> >> >> that>> >> >> >> >> >> >> he uses these words to describe himself more>> >> frequently.>> >> >> He>> >> >> >>

also>> >> >> >> >> >> calls>> >> >> >> >> >> >> himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he >> is>> >> the>> >> >> >> only>> >> >> >> >> one>> >> >> >> >> >> who>> >> >> >> >> >> >> can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if >> his>> >> >> sister>> >> >> >> >> calls>> >> >> >> >> >> him>> >> >> >> >> >> >> a loser!!! We are on a "down" mood swing this week >> and>> >> >> it's>> >> >> >> very>> >> >> >> >> >> ugly>> >> >> >>

>> >> >> around here! can't do anything himself and>> >> wants>> >> >> to>> >> >> >> be>> >> >> >> >> told>> >> >> >> >> >> >> everything to do step by step! Hard for me because >> I've>> >> >> got>> >> >> >> 10>> >> >> >> >> >> things>> >> >> >> >> >> >> going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get>> >> organized>> >> >> so>> >> >> >> that>> >> >> >> >> >> we as>> >> >> >> >> >> >> a family can STAY organized in order to help >> >> from>> >> >> >>

being>> >> >> >> >> so>> >> >> >> >> >> >> overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time>> >> crying>> >> >> >> and>> >> >> >> >> >> temper>> >> >> >> >> >> >> tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his>> >> >> youngest>> >> >> >> >> >> sister!!>> >> >> >> >> >> >> She's a screamer and he picks on her until she >> screams>> >> >> (VERY>> >> >> >> >> >> LOUDLY)>> >> >> >> >> >> >> and then complains that she is screaming and hurting>> >> his>> >> >> >> ears...>> >> >>

>> >> >> then>> >> >> >> >> >> >> he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you>> >> tell>> >> >> >> that>> >> >> >> >> I'm>> >> >> >> >> >> >> stressed??? LOL>> >> >> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> >> >> This is the sad part of AS to me at least! The>> >> feelings of>> >> >> >> self>> >> >> >> >> >> >> worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart>> >> and>> >> >> that>> >> >> >> >> "he>> >> >> >> >> >> >> knows more than any of the other kids in his class">> >> but

he>> >> >> >> gets>> >> >> >> >> so>> >> >> >> >> >> >> upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a>> >> bike,>> >> >> >> etc...>> >> >> >> >> >> I'm>> >> >> >> >> >> >> hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get>> >> his>> >> >> life>> >> >> >> >> and>> >> >> >> >> >> our>> >> >> >> >> >> >> family life on track and can help him to see that >> He is>> >> >> NOT>> >> >> >> >> >> >> defective... just a very unique child with different>> >> great>> >> >>

>> >> >> qualities>> >> >> >> >> >> >> that others do not possess!!>> >> >> >> >> >> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:>> >> >> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > ...but he calls it defective!>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle >> it.>> >> he>> >> >> >> says>> >> >> >> >> he>> >> >> >> >> >> is a>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. >>

My>> >> ds>> >> >> even>> >> >> >> >> >> blames>> >> >> >> >> >> >> it>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > on his own glasses for the reason he "can't do>> >> anything>> >> >> >> right">> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >

[Guest guest]

thinks he's an expert too! JUST because he rode his bike for a

few yards... NOW! He does that with everything though... no matter

what it is he tries! He's an awful singer... can't carry a tune at

all, but thinks he's the greatest singer he has ever known..

LOL

I didn't like those parts of the book either at first.. but

needs to be told like that in order for him to understand that you just

don't do certain things. is a big question person and usually

he asks questions that don't pertain to the subject. When go on

vacation and we tour historical sites and we are in old houses or

such... he has to be quiet or have his questions PRE approved before he

asks the tour guide! I know it sounds awful but if We don't do it this

way he would be talking about Florida when we are in VA!!

I do tell him not to pretend to be something that he isn't and that

there will be someone out there that likes him just the way he is!

It's sad though we he says No one does right now!! He lives for the

moment ya know?

I'm reading Freaks, Geeks and Aspergers now because I saw that it was

mentioned here in the group. I want to pre read to make sure that it's

appropriate for . The kids at school call him nerd and geek all

the time so I thought it might have some revelent information for

! I haven't gotten far in the book because I'm backed up on

orders (I make hair bows and other handmade items) since I came back

from vacation.

Jackie

On Jul 15, 2007, at 8:51 AM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:

> That's great about him riding his bike!!  There's no stopping him

> now!!!

> Ian always thinks that if he's done something once or has 'tried' it,

> that he's an expert....ha ha.

> He just read " Aspergers, Huh? " , also.  I liked it too,,,,,,but there

> were a few parts I didn't like.  Like, when it would tell him that he

> shouldn't " be the way he is " ......to fit in.

> I mean,,,,I agree.  But,,,,,,,,,,I would have him rather hear that you

> should just BE who you are.  Eventually, someone will be ok with you,

> like you are.

> Oh well.

> I did like, though, how it basically told it like it is......... " If

> you don't want people to think you're a  bit odd,,,,,,,don't do

> it.... " ......just seemed kind of harsh...

> Heehee.

> Have a good one!!

> Robin

>

> <hunebear3@...> wrote:

>> I'm sure that will have more questions as time goes by, but he

>> did seem relieved and a bit anxious today. I had him read a book

>> called " asbergers HUH " ! Very good book to introduce AS to a older

>> child. It was funny because he read it and started complaining that

>> the boy in the book sure did like the weather! I laughed and said...

>> that's just like you with your video games and it was Space when you

>> were little!! He looked at me like I was crazy for a minute and then

>> said Ok!

>>

>> I made a huge deal about AS being the REASON for some things but not

>> an

>> EXCUSE! So hopefully that will help so it won't just say " I have AS so

>> I can't do that " ...

>>

>> Another BIGGIE for us... TODAY rode his bike for the FIRST

>> time!! I was so happy... it was like seeing him take his first steps.

>> Now he can only go straight and only balance for a bit... but he rode

>> from our driveway to the neighbors before he lost his balance! HE was

>> so proud!! So I made a big deal out of how He can do anything when he

>> sets his mind to it!!

>>

>> It's been a big day for us! Still need to take that breath! LOL

>>

>> Jackie

>> On Jul 14, 2007, at 10:03 PM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:

>>

>> > That's awesome that he took it so well.

>> > Ahhh.......now you can breathe.

>> > Hee he.

>> > Robin

>> >

>> > wrote:

>> >> I got the email. is at his grandparents house until

>> Monday..

>> >> so let Tommy know that will not reply until Monday

>> afternoon.

>> >> is extremely excited to be getting emails from other

>> children.

>> >>

>> >> I finally broke down and told him what his DX was... He seemed very

>> >> relived!! LOL

>> >>

>> >> Jackie

>> >> On Jul 14, 2007, at 7:44 PM, Rose wrote:

>> >>

>> >> > Hello, If I did this right, I (Mom) sent your son an e-mail.  If

>> I

>> >> got

>> >> > the address right.  Tommy will write him back. (he needs help

>> with

>> >> the

>> >> > typing/spelling, and will take a long time).   If you didn't get

>> an

>> >> > e-mail.  There was a problem with the e-mail address.

>> >> > in the subject box:  I typed pen-pal  to matthew. 

>> >> >

>> >> >

>> >> > wrote:

>> >> >> My son said the same thing... Can I go visit?? I'm excited for

>> the

>> >> two

>> >> >> of them as well because they will work on some other skills

>> besides

>> >> >> friendship! Yeah I wish I was closer to a lot of the people of

>> this

>> >> >> group! There are so many nice moms and wonderful (just like my

>> >> child)

>> >> >> children!

>> >> >>

>> >> >> Jackie

>> >> >> On Jul 13, 2007, at 12:07 PM, Rose wrote:

>> >> >>

>> >> >> > great... I'll have him start Saturday after his social skills

>> >> >> > program.  He's excited as well.  He wanted to go to your house

>> >> >> > to visit with him.  LOL.  to bad we aren't closer.

>> >> >> >

>> >> >> > wrote:No, I'm fine with real

>> >> >> > names! For now... just use my regular email

>> >> >> >> address for too! I'll set up a folder on my computer for

>> >> so

>> >> >> >> that he can see when he has " pen pal " email! It's going to

>> be so

>> >> >> >> excited.

>> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> Thanks Rose!!

>> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> Jackie

>> >> >> >> On Jul 12, 2007, at 7:43 PM, Rose wrote:

>> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> > Great.  my son is 10.  If would like to e-mail

>> him. 

>> >> He

>> >> >> can

>> >> >> >> > use my address, and in the subject space:  put 'pen-pal'

>> and

>> >> we

>> >> >> will

>> >> >> >> > know its for him.  Would you like to use nick names?

>> >> >> >> > As soon as my son gets out of the shower, I'll let him

>> know he

>> >> >> has a

>> >> >> >> > pen-pal.  LOL 

>> >> >> >> >

>> >> >> >> > wrote:

>> >> >> >> >> I just asked him and he's dancing around singing YES YES

>> >> YES!!

>> >> >> So

>> >> >> >> I'm

>> >> >> >> >> guessing that he would love to have an email pen pal!! His

>> >> name

>> >> >> is

>> >> >> >> >> and he will be 11 years old in December. I'll set

>> him

>> >> >> up an

>> >> >> >> >> email account tonight!!!

>> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> I don't think there is anyone on this group that is close

>> >> by...

>> >> >> >> but we

>> >> >> >> >> shall see! But for now the email thing would be perfect!

>> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> Jackie

>> >> >> >> >> On Jul 12, 2007, at 5:56 PM, Rose wrote:

>> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> > If no one is close by, (I'm in N.Y.).  Maybe others (on

>> >> this

>> >> >> >> >> > site) with children the same age as your son  can e-mail

>> >> you

>> >> >> off

>> >> >> >> >> line

>> >> >> >> >> > with their e-mail address and he can have a 'pen pal'. 

>> or

>> >> >> maybe

>> >> >> >> >> write

>> >> >> >> >> > letters, or talk on the phone.  they can be " HIS "

>> >> >> friend. Maybe

>> >> >> >> he

>> >> >> >> >> can

>> >> >> >> >> > even have his own e-mail address.   Would that interest

>> >> him?

>> >> >> >> >> >  

>> >> >> >> >> >  

>> >> >> >> >> >  

>> >> >> >> >> >

>> >> >> >> >> > wrote:

>> >> >> >> >> >> Rose,

>> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> These are all great suggestions! is only

>> involved

>> >> in

>> >> >> >> Karate

>> >> >> >> >> >> right now. His only other interest is Video games. He

>> will

>> >> >> not

>> >> >> >> >> >> participate in any group sports as he HATES sports! I

>> am

>> >> >> trying

>> >> >> >> to

>> >> >> >> >> >> locate a local support group that is more geared toward

>> >> AS.

>> >> >> >> There

>> >> >> >> >> is a

>> >> >> >> >> >> Special needs group that meets approx 30 minutes from

>> my

>> >> >> house

>> >> >> >> but

>> >> >> >> >> I

>> >> >> >> >> >> think that is more of a " mom " support meeting even

>> though

>> >> >> >> children

>> >> >> >> >> are

>> >> >> >> >> >> welcomed. I just finished a Sleep Study at the Local

>> >> >> Children's

>> >> >> >> >> >> hospital and I had some great Mom's in my group and

>> lucky

>> >> >> for us

>> >> >> >> >> all

>> >> >> >> >> >> we

>> >> >> >> >> >> have children that are all about the same age. So we

>> are

>> >> >> >> planning

>> >> >> >> >> on

>> >> >> >> >> >> forming our own little group as soon as vacation

>> season is

>> >> >> over.

>> >> >> >> >> I'm

>> >> >> >> >> >> looking forward to that because the other mom's have

>> >> children

>> >> >> >> that

>> >> >> >> >> are

>> >> >> >> >> >> Dx with AS too!

>> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> does not understand the concept of what a

>> friend

>> >> is

>> >> >> >> >> either. He

>> >> >> >> >> >> thinks when someone asks to " borrow " (which means keep

>> in

>> >> the

>> >> >> >> other

>> >> >> >> >> >> children's eyes) that they are his " friend " . If they

>> want

>> >> to

>> >> >> >> play

>> >> >> >> >> with

>> >> >> >> >> >> him ONE day out of 7 then they are his friend.

>> Basically

>> >> >> anyone

>> >> >> >> >> that

>> >> >> >> >> >> his " nice " to him on a one time basis is his friend! We

>> >> talk

>> >> >> >> about

>> >> >> >> >> >> what a friend is frequently and I try to help when the

>> >> boys

>> >> >> are

>> >> >> >> >> over,

>> >> >> >> >> >> but like I said I can not trust him going to the

>> other's

>> >> >> boy's

>> >> >> >> >> house

>> >> >> >> >> >> as

>> >> >> >> >> >> they are unsupervised. These boys are all about 10

>> years

>> >> old

>> >> >> and

>> >> >> >> >> they

>> >> >> >> >> >> come knocking on our door as late as 8:30 pm!! I'm

>> sorry

>> >> if I

>> >> >> >> sound

>> >> >> >> >> >> like a overprotective mother but my kids are usually in

>> >> bed

>> >> >> at

>> >> >> >> this

>> >> >> >> >> >> time... especially if it's a school night!!

>> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> will do just about anything that someone tells

>> >> him to

>> >> >> >> do or

>> >> >> >> >> >> dares whatever it is! So that's another reason I don't

>> >> feel

>> >> >> safe

>> >> >> >> >> >> allowing him to go to far from home. There is one boy

>> >> that he

>> >> >> >> plays

>> >> >> >> >> >> with that spends the night here that is very tolerate

>> of

>> >> >> >> .

>> >> >> >> >> He's

>> >> >> >> >> >> attuned into 's problems even though he doesn't

>> >> know

>> >> >> >> whats

>> >> >> >> >> >> wrong

>> >> >> >> >> >> with him. Walter-- the friend has asked me several

>> times

>> >> why

>> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> cries so easily and why he gets so mad... but he will

>> >> usually

>> >> >> >> try

>> >> >> >> >> to

>> >> >> >> >> >> calm down or talk him through it. He also tells

>> >> the

>> >> >> >> other

>> >> >> >> >> boys

>> >> >> >> >> >> to stop making fun of him! BUT... he(walter) likes to

>> play

>> >> >> with

>> >> >> >> the

>> >> >> >> >> >> other boys too and this ticks off because he

>> >> thinks

>> >> >> he

>> >> >> >> >> should

>> >> >> >> >> >> be the ONLY friend!! What a hard life to live!!!

>> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> Maybe there's someone on this group that lives

>> closeby...

>> >> I

>> >> >> >> live in

>> >> >> >> >> >> Gallatin, TN!!! Want to hook up for a Play date??????

>> LOL

>> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> Jackie

>> >> >> >> >> >> On Jul 12, 2007, at 11:08 AM, Rose wrote:

>> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> > Hi Jackie,

>> >> >> >> >> >> > The same problem here.  there are a click (handful)

>> of

>> >> >> >> children

>> >> >> >> >> that

>> >> >> >> >> >> > are unsupervised under 12 and free to do what they

>> want

>> >> >> >> including

>> >> >> >> >> >> > staying out till late hours.  The ones that are

>> >> supervised

>> >> >> >> only

>> >> >> >> >> have

>> >> >> >> >> >> > scheduled playdates, have to stay in site of their

>> >> parents.

>> >> >> >> (like

>> >> >> >> >> >> > mine).

>> >> >> >> >> >> > and of course when the unsupervised boys are

>> separated. 

>> >> >> the

>> >> >> >> one

>> >> >> >> >> >> > that's left home with nothing to do would come over

>> to

>> >> play

>> >> >> >> with

>> >> >> >> >> my

>> >> >> >> >> >> > son.  great, He has a friend???  problem is, he asked

>> >> if he

>> >> >> >> could

>> >> >> >> >> >> have

>> >> >> >> >> >> > everything my son has.  He just got a fishing pole

>> still

>> >> >> with

>> >> >> >> >> tags. 

>> >> >> >> >> >> > and the kid wanted it.  I explained to my son what a

>> >> >> 'friend'

>> >> >> >> >> is. 

>> >> >> >> >> >> > also asked if he thought these boys fit that

>> >> description of

>> >> >> >> >> >> 'friend'. 

>> >> >> >> >> >> > so, he played by himself for a while.  He joined a

>> boys

>> >> &

>> >> >> >> >> girls club

>> >> >> >> >> >> > and gets to play with other children there.   He also

>> >> >> wants a

>> >> >> >> >> 'best

>> >> >> >> >> >> > friend' so bad.  but right now, I'd rather him wait

>> and

>> >> >> play

>> >> >> >> at

>> >> >> >> >> the

>> >> >> >> >> >> > boys club, than get into trouble or hurt

>> feelings with

>> >> >> those

>> >> >> >> >> >> > unsupervised boys.  I could easily see him doing

>> >> something

>> >> >> >> >> dangerous

>> >> >> >> >> >> > just because he says he is strong or nothing bad can

>> >> >> happen.

>> >> >> >> >> >> (because

>> >> >> >> >> >> > he doesn't understand the concept of danger).  

>> >> >> >> >> >> > I think sometimes our children need some adult help

>> when

>> >> >> >> >> choosing a

>> >> >> >> >> >> > friend.  a little explaining that names " do hurt "

>> and a

>> >> >> >> 'friend'

>> >> >> >> >> >> won't

>> >> >> >> >> >> > call you names.    Is your son involved in boyscouts?

>> >> >> >> baseball?

>> >> >> >> >> >> maybe

>> >> >> >> >> >> > you can call one of those boys over for a playdate

>> and

>> >> if

>> >> >> your

>> >> >> >> >> son

>> >> >> >> >> >> is

>> >> >> >> >> >> > into fishing, movies, riding bikes.  Maybe you can

>> >> arrange

>> >> >> for

>> >> >> >> >> them

>> >> >> >> >> >> > both to do that together with you supervising until a

>> >> >> >> friendship

>> >> >> >> >> >> > develops.  Just a thought.  I wish I had more ideas

>> for

>> >> >> you. 

>> >> >> >> >> When

>> >> >> >> >> >> the

>> >> >> >> >> >> > boys call your son stupid.  Have him say:  takes on

>> to

>> >> know

>> >> >> >> one

>> >> >> >> >> -and

>> >> >> >> >> >> > walk away.  maybe not those exact words, but

>> something

>> >> to

>> >> >> say

>> >> >> >> >> >> back so

>> >> >> >> >> >> > your son wont feel so hurt.   Sorry he has to be

>> around

>> >> >> those

>> >> >> >> >> mean

>> >> >> >> >> >> > children.   Do you have an aspergers support group

>> near

>> >> >> >> you?  If

>> >> >> >> >> >> they

>> >> >> >> >> >> > have children your sons age, mayby you can all meet

>> at a

>> >> >> park

>> >> >> >> and

>> >> >> >> >> >> see

>> >> >> >> >> >> > who he gets along with???.   *smile*

>> >> >> >> >> >> >

>> >> >> >> >> >> > wrote:

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> Kids are all so mean!! Sometimes I can completely

>> >> >> understand

>> >> >> >> why

>> >> >> >> >> >> the

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> kids don't want to play with my DS... but then

>> again he

>> >> >> is my

>> >> >> >> >> >> child!!

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> The neighborhood kids either are my son's best

>> friend--

>> >> >> when

>> >> >> >> >> they

>> >> >> >> >> >> want

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> something or there's no one else to play or they

>> hurl

>> >> >> insults

>> >> >> >> >> over

>> >> >> >> >> >> our

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> fence at my son. The worst insult to my son is

>> >> " stupid " !

>> >> >> He

>> >> >> >> can

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> handle them calling him a sissy or " Homo " much

>> better

>> >> than

>> >> >> >> being

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> called

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> stupid! But then again after they call him stupid

>> he's

>> >> >> real

>> >> >> >> >> quick

>> >> >> >> >> >> to

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> point out all the reason WHY he can't be stupid!!

>> Which

>> >> >> then

>> >> >> >> >> makes

>> >> >> >> >> >> the

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> boys all laugh and tell him to go in the house! All

>> of

>> >> the

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> neighborhood kids... which all happen to be boys

>> play

>> >> >> mostly

>> >> >> >> >> with

>> >> >> >> >> >> my

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> DD... which is sad! She is the one who rides bikes

>> with

>> >> >> them,

>> >> >> >> >> >> tosses

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> the football... you know typical boy things.

>> is

>> >> >> now

>> >> >> >> >> >> beginning

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> to notice this more! One of the boys was in the

>> house

>> >> >> >> yesterday

>> >> >> >> >> and

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> came to me and said " it happened again " and

>> I

>> >> said

>> >> >> >> >> what...

>> >> >> >> >> >> and

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> then told me my friend is playing with ... she

>> >> took

>> >> >> him

>> >> >> >> >> away!

>> >> >> >> >> >> So

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> I made the girls and boys separate. That worked for

>> a

>> >> >> while!

>> >> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> The friend thing is just getting worse and worse and

>> >> >> causing

>> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> not to even want to go out in the yard to play. Plus

>> >> some

>> >> >> of

>> >> >> >> the

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> children in the neighborhood are the kinds of kids

>> >> that I

>> >> >> >> don't

>> >> >> >> >> >> want

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> my

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> children playing with out of my sight... if you know

>> >> what

>> >> >> I

>> >> >> >> >> mean!

>> >> >> >> >> >> They

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> have NO parent supervision and are allowed to do

>> pretty

>> >> >> much

>> >> >> >> >> >> whatever

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> they want to do and that is NOT a good place for

>> >>

>> >> >> to

>> >> >> >> be

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> especially. So sometimes I think they invite

>> >> over

>> >> >> >> >> because

>> >> >> >> >> >> they

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> know I won't let him go just to see him have a

>> >> breakdown

>> >> >> in

>> >> >> >> the

>> >> >> >> >> >> yard.

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> Believe me and I talk about this frequently,

>> >> but

>> >> >> when

>> >> >> >> >> the

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> moment comes... all of our talking is out the

>> window!!!

>> >> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> This job of raising an AS child is Hard... just

>> gotta

>> >> >> figure

>> >> >> >> out

>> >> >> >> >> >> how

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> to

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> lick it!! LOL

>> >> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> Jackie

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 9:18 PM, Roxanna wrote:

>> >> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > The depression part has been a problem here for my

>> >> 10 yo

>> >> >> >> ds. 

>> >> >> >> >> The

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > " friend " thing is so awful.  I think it's the

>> worst

>> >> >> thing

>> >> >> >> of

>> >> >> >> >> >> all. 

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> The

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > kids in the neighborhood sometimes play with him

>> but

>> >> >> more

>> >> >> >> >> often,

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> they

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > tease him or exclude him.  It's been tough to deal

>> >> with

>> >> >> >> this

>> >> >> >> >> >> stuff

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > lately. 

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >  

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Roxanna

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Autism Happens

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have

>> >> >> >> >> Asperger's!!!

>> >> >> >> >> >> to

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Jackie

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> This is the hard part that he sees himself as

>> >> >> " defective "

>> >> >> >> I

>> >> >> >> >> see

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> him as

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> a extremely smart child that is different! The

>> >> >> >> developmental

>> >> >> >> >> >> doctor

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at

>> >> >> times I

>> >> >> >> >> notice

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> that

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> he uses these words to describe himself more

>> >> >> frequently.

>> >> >> >> He

>> >> >> >> >> also

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> calls

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son

>> he

>> >> is

>> >> >> the

>> >> >> >> >> only

>> >> >> >> >> >> one

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> who

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if

>> >> his

>> >> >> >> sister

>> >> >> >> >> >> calls

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> him

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> a loser!!! We are on a " down " mood swing this

>> week

>> >> and

>> >> >> >> it's

>> >> >> >> >> very

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> ugly

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> around here! can't do anything himself

>> and

>> >> >> wants

>> >> >> >> to

>> >> >> >> >> be

>> >> >> >> >> >> told

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> everything to do step by step! Hard for me

>> because

>> >> I've

>> >> >> >> got

>> >> >> >> >> 10

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> things

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get

>> >> >> organized

>> >> >> >> so

>> >> >> >> >> that

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> we as

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> a family can STAY organized in order to help

>>

>> >> >> from

>> >> >> >> >> being

>> >> >> >> >> >> so

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of

>> time

>> >> >> crying

>> >> >> >> >> and

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> temper

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on

>> his

>> >> >> >> youngest

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> sister!!

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> She's a screamer and he picks on her until she

>> >> screams

>> >> >> >> (VERY

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> LOUDLY)

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> and then complains that she is screaming and

>> hurting

>> >> >> his

>> >> >> >> >> ears...

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> then

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can

>> you

>> >> >> tell

>> >> >> >> >> that

>> >> >> >> >> >> I'm

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> stressed??? LOL

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> This is the sad part of AS to me at least! The

>> >> >> feelings of

>> >> >> >> >> self

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so

>> smart

>> >> >> and

>> >> >> >> that

>> >> >> >> >> >> " he

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> knows more than any of the other kids in his

>> class "

>> >> >> but he

>> >> >> >> >> gets

>> >> >> >> >> >> so

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> upset because he doesn't have friends, can't

>> ride a

>> >> >> bike,

>> >> >> >> >> etc...

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> I'm

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can

>> get

>> >> >> his

>> >> >> >> life

>> >> >> >> >> >> and

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> our

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> family life on track and can help him to see that

>> >> He is

>> >> >> >> NOT

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> defective... just a very unique child with

>> different

>> >> >> great

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> qualities

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> that others do not possess!!

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > ...but he calls it defective!

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > I get so upset when he does that. I can't

>> handle

>> >> it.

>> >> >> he

>> >> >> >> >> says

>> >> >> >> >> >> he

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> is a

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > loser but gets mad if his brother calls him

>> one.

>> >> My

>> >> >> ds

>> >> >> >> even

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> blames

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> it

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > on his own glasses for the reason he " can't do

>> >> >> anything

>> >> >> >> >> right "

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >

[Guest guest]

My son said to me he was glad I told him what he has. He now knows the areas he has to work harder on. As far as children using the aspergers as an excuse, that they can't do something because they have aspergers. I wonder if they hear it from someone in school first - say, you can't do that because you have aspergers. then our kids repeat it. Do you have any others responding to be a pen-pal? This would also help with reading & writing skills. maybe a little social skills? <hunebear3@...> wrote: I got the email. is at his grandparents house until Monday.. so let Tommy know that will not reply until Monday afternoon. is extremely excited to be getting emails from

other children.I finally broke down and told him what his DX was... He seemed very relived!! LOLJackieOn Jul 14, 2007, at 7:44 PM, Rose wrote:> Hello, If I did this right, I (Mom) sent your son an e-mail. If I got > the address right. Tommy will write him back. (he needs help with the > typing/spelling, and will take a long time). If you didn't get an > e-mail. There was a problem with the e-mail address.> in the subject box: I typed pen-pal to matthew. >>> wrote:>> My son said the same thing... Can I go visit?? I'm excited for the two>> of them as well because they will work on some other skills besides>> friendship! Yeah I wish I was closer to a lot of the people of this>> group! There are so many nice moms and wonderful (just like my child)>>

children!>>>> Jackie>> On Jul 13, 2007, at 12:07 PM, Rose wrote:>>>> > great... I'll have him start Saturday after his social skills>> > program. He's excited as well. He wanted to go to your house>> > to visit with him. LOL. to bad we aren't closer.>> >>> > wrote:No, I'm fine with real>> > names! For now... just use my regular email>> >> address for too! I'll set up a folder on my computer for so>> >> that he can see when he has "pen pal" email! It's going to be so>> >> excited.>> >>>> >> Thanks Rose!!>> >>>> >> Jackie>> >> On Jul 12, 2007, at 7:43 PM, Rose wrote:>> >>>> >> > Great. my son is 10. If would like to e-mail

him. He >> can>> >> > use my address, and in the subject space: put 'pen-pal' and we >> will>> >> > know its for him. Would you like to use nick names?>> >> > As soon as my son gets out of the shower, I'll let him know he >> has a>> >> > pen-pal. LOL >> >> >>> >> > wrote:>> >> >> I just asked him and he's dancing around singing YES YES YES!! >> So>> >> I'm>> >> >> guessing that he would love to have an email pen pal!! His name >> is>> >> >> and he will be 11 years old in December. I'll set him >> up an>> >> >> email account tonight!!!>> >> >>>> >> >> I don't think there is anyone on this group that is

close by...>> >> but we>> >> >> shall see! But for now the email thing would be perfect!>> >> >>>> >> >> Jackie>> >> >> On Jul 12, 2007, at 5:56 PM, Rose wrote:>> >> >>>> >> >> > If no one is close by, (I'm in N.Y.). Maybe others (on this>> >> >> > site) with children the same age as your son can e-mail you >> off>> >> >> line>> >> >> > with their e-mail address and he can have a 'pen pal'. or >> maybe>> >> >> write>> >> >> > letters, or talk on the phone. they can be "HIS" >> friend. Maybe>> >> he>> >> >> can>> >> >> > even have his own e-mail address. Would that

interest him?>> >> >> > >> >> >> > >> >> >> > >> >> >> >>> >> >> > wrote:>> >> >> >> Rose,>> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> These are all great suggestions! is only involved in>> >> Karate>> >> >> >> right now. His only other interest is Video games. He will >> not>> >> >> >> participate in any group sports as he HATES sports! I am >> trying>> >> to>> >> >> >> locate a local support group that is more geared toward AS.>> >> There>> >> >> is a>> >> >> >> Special needs group that meets approx 30 minutes from my >>

house>> >> but>> >> >> I>> >> >> >> think that is more of a "mom" support meeting even though>> >> children>> >> >> are>> >> >> >> welcomed. I just finished a Sleep Study at the Local >> Children's>> >> >> >> hospital and I had some great Mom's in my group and lucky >> for us>> >> >> all>> >> >> >> we>> >> >> >> have children that are all about the same age. So we are>> >> planning>> >> >> on>> >> >> >> forming our own little group as soon as vacation season is >> over.>> >> >> I'm>> >> >> >> looking forward to that because the other mom's have children>> >> that>>

>> >> are>> >> >> >> Dx with AS too!>> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> does not understand the concept of what a friend is>> >> >> either. He>> >> >> >> thinks when someone asks to "borrow" (which means keep in the>> >> other>> >> >> >> children's eyes) that they are his "friend". If they want to>> >> play>> >> >> with>> >> >> >> him ONE day out of 7 then they are his friend. Basically >> anyone>> >> >> that>> >> >> >> his "nice" to him on a one time basis is his friend! We talk>> >> about>> >> >> >> what a friend is frequently and I try to help when the boys >> are>> >> >> over,>>

>> >> >> but like I said I can not trust him going to the other's >> boy's>> >> >> house>> >> >> >> as>> >> >> >> they are unsupervised. These boys are all about 10 years old >> and>> >> >> they>> >> >> >> come knocking on our door as late as 8:30 pm!! I'm sorry if I>> >> sound>> >> >> >> like a overprotective mother but my kids are usually in bed >> at>> >> this>> >> >> >> time... especially if it's a school night!!>> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> will do just about anything that someone tells him to>> >> do or>> >> >> >> dares whatever it is! So that's another reason I don't feel >> safe>>

>> >> >> allowing him to go to far from home. There is one boy that he>> >> plays>> >> >> >> with that spends the night here that is very tolerate of>> >> .>> >> >> He's>> >> >> >> attuned into 's problems even though he doesn't know>> >> whats>> >> >> >> wrong>> >> >> >> with him. Walter-- the friend has asked me several times why>> >> >> >> >> >> >> cries so easily and why he gets so mad... but he will usually>> >> try>> >> >> to>> >> >> >> calm down or talk him through it. He also tells the>> >> other>> >> >> boys>> >> >> >> to stop making fun of him! BUT...

he(walter) likes to play >> with>> >> the>> >> >> >> other boys too and this ticks off because he thinks >> he>> >> >> should>> >> >> >> be the ONLY friend!! What a hard life to live!!!>> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> Maybe there's someone on this group that lives closeby... I>> >> live in>> >> >> >> Gallatin, TN!!! Want to hook up for a Play date?????? LOL>> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> Jackie>> >> >> >> On Jul 12, 2007, at 11:08 AM, Rose wrote:>> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> > Hi Jackie,>> >> >> >> > The same problem here. there are a click (handful) of>> >> children>> >>

>> that>> >> >> >> > are unsupervised under 12 and free to do what they want>> >> including>> >> >> >> > staying out till late hours. The ones that are supervised>> >> only>> >> >> have>> >> >> >> > scheduled playdates, have to stay in site of their parents.>> >> (like>> >> >> >> > mine).>> >> >> >> > and of course when the unsupervised boys are separated. >> the>> >> one>> >> >> >> > that's left home with nothing to do would come over to play>> >> with>> >> >> my>> >> >> >> > son. great, He has a friend??? problem is, he asked if he>> >> could>> >> >>

>> have>> >> >> >> > everything my son has. He just got a fishing pole still >> with>> >> >> tags. >> >> >> >> > and the kid wanted it. I explained to my son what a >> 'friend'>> >> >> is. >> >> >> >> > also asked if he thought these boys fit that description of>> >> >> >> 'friend'. >> >> >> >> > so, he played by himself for a while. He joined a boys & >> >> >> girls club>> >> >> >> > and gets to play with other children there. He also >> wants a>> >> >> 'best>> >> >> >> > friend' so bad. but right now, I'd rather him wait and >> play>> >>

at>> >> >> the>> >> >> >> > boys club, than get into trouble or hurt feelings with >> those>> >> >> >> > unsupervised boys. I could easily see him doing something>> >> >> dangerous>> >> >> >> > just because he says he is strong or nothing bad can >> happen.>> >> >> >> (because>> >> >> >> > he doesn't understand the concept of danger). >> >> >> >> > I think sometimes our children need some adult help when>> >> >> choosing a>> >> >> >> > friend. a little explaining that names "do hurt" and a>> >> 'friend'>> >> >> >> won't>> >> >> >> > call you names.

Is your son involved in boyscouts?>> >> baseball?>> >> >> >> maybe>> >> >> >> > you can call one of those boys over for a playdate and if >> your>> >> >> son>> >> >> >> is>> >> >> >> > into fishing, movies, riding bikes. Maybe you can arrange >> for>> >> >> them>> >> >> >> > both to do that together with you supervising until a>> >> friendship>> >> >> >> > develops. Just a thought. I wish I had more ideas for >> you. >> >> >> When>> >> >> >> the>> >> >> >> > boys call your son stupid. Have him say: takes on to know>> >> one>> >> >>

-and>> >> >> >> > walk away. maybe not those exact words, but something to >> say>> >> >> >> back so>> >> >> >> > your son wont feel so hurt. Sorry he has to be around >> those>> >> >> mean>> >> >> >> > children. Do you have an aspergers support group near>> >> you? If>> >> >> >> they>> >> >> >> > have children your sons age, mayby you can all meet at a >> park>> >> and>> >> >> >> see>> >> >> >> > who he gets along with???. *smile*>> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> > wrote:>> >> >> >>

>> Kids are all so mean!! Sometimes I can completely >> understand>> >> why>> >> >> >> the>> >> >> >> >> kids don't want to play with my DS... but then again he >> is my>> >> >> >> child!!>> >> >> >> >> The neighborhood kids either are my son's best friend-- >> when>> >> >> they>> >> >> >> want>> >> >> >> >> something or there's no one else to play or they hurl >> insults>> >> >> over>> >> >> >> our>> >> >> >> >> fence at my son. The worst insult to my son is "stupid"! >> He>> >> can>> >> >> >> >> handle them calling him a sissy or "Homo" much better than>>

>> being>> >> >> >> >> called>> >> >> >> >> stupid! But then again after they call him stupid he's >> real>> >> >> quick>> >> >> >> to>> >> >> >> >> point out all the reason WHY he can't be stupid!! Which >> then>> >> >> makes>> >> >> >> the>> >> >> >> >> boys all laugh and tell him to go in the house! All of the>> >> >> >> >> neighborhood kids... which all happen to be boys play >> mostly>> >> >> with>> >> >> >> my>> >> >> >> >> DD... which is sad! She is the one who rides bikes with >> them,>> >> >> >> tosses>> >> >> >>

>> the football... you know typical boy things. is >> now>> >> >> >> beginning>> >> >> >> >> to notice this more! One of the boys was in the house>> >> yesterday>> >> >> and>> >> >> >> >> came to me and said "it happened again" and I said>> >> >> what...>> >> >> >> and>> >> >> >> >> then told me my friend is playing with ... she took >> him>> >> >> away!>> >> >> >> So>> >> >> >> >> I made the girls and boys separate. That worked for a >> while!>> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> The friend thing is just getting worse and worse and >>

causing>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> not to even want to go out in the yard to play. Plus some >> of>> >> the>> >> >> >> >> children in the neighborhood are the kinds of kids that I>> >> don't>> >> >> >> want>> >> >> >> >> my>> >> >> >> >> children playing with out of my sight... if you know what >> I>> >> >> mean!>> >> >> >> They>> >> >> >> >> have NO parent supervision and are allowed to do pretty >> much>> >> >> >> whatever>> >> >> >> >> they want to do and that is NOT a good place for >> to>> >> be>> >> >> >>

>> especially. So sometimes I think they invite over>> >> >> because>> >> >> >> they>> >> >> >> >> know I won't let him go just to see him have a breakdown >> in>> >> the>> >> >> >> yard.>> >> >> >> >> Believe me and I talk about this frequently, but >> when>> >> >> the>> >> >> >> >> moment comes... all of our talking is out the window!!!>> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> This job of raising an AS child is Hard... just gotta >> figure>> >> out>> >> >> >> how>> >> >> >> >> to>> >> >> >> >> lick it!! LOL>> >> >>

>> >>>> >> >> >> >> Jackie>> >> >> >> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 9:18 PM, Roxanna wrote:>> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> > The depression part has been a problem here for my 10 yo>> >> ds. >> >> >> The>> >> >> >> >> > "friend" thing is so awful. I think it's the worst >> thing>> >> of>> >> >> >> all. >> >> >> >> >> The>> >> >> >> >> > kids in the neighborhood sometimes play with him but >> more>> >> >> often,>> >> >> >> >> they>> >> >> >> >> > tease him or exclude him. It's been tough to deal with>>

>> this>> >> >> >> stuff>> >> >> >> >> > lately. >> >> >> >> >> > >> >> >> >> >> > Roxanna>> >> >> >> >> > Autism Happens>> >> >> >> >> >> Re: ( ) Re: I Do Not Have>> >> >> Asperger's!!!>> >> >> >> to>> >> >> >> >> >> Jackie>> >> >> >> >>

>>>> >> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> >> This is the hard part that he sees himself as >> "defective">> >> I>> >> >> see>> >> >> >> >> him as>> >> >> >> >> >> a extremely smart child that is different! The>> >> developmental>> >> >> >> doctor>> >> >> >> >> >> also has concerns that he could be bi polar so at >> times I>> >> >> notice>> >> >> >> >> that>> >> >> >> >> >> he uses these words to describe himself more >> frequently.>> >> He>> >> >> also>> >> >> >> >> calls>> >> >> >>

>> >> himself unworthy, loser, pitiful! Like your son he is >> the>> >> >> only>> >> >> >> one>> >> >> >> >> who>> >> >> >> >> >> can call himself these things! Gets VERY angry if his>> >> sister>> >> >> >> calls>> >> >> >> >> him>> >> >> >> >> >> a loser!!! We are on a "down" mood swing this week and>> >> it's>> >> >> very>> >> >> >> >> ugly>> >> >> >> >> >> around here! can't do anything himself and >> wants>> >> to>> >> >> be>> >> >> >> told>> >> >> >> >> >> everything to do step

by step! Hard for me because I've>> >> got>> >> >> 10>> >> >> >> >> things>> >> >> >> >> >> going on at once! I'm trying my hardest to get >> organized>> >> so>> >> >> that>> >> >> >> >> we as>> >> >> >> >> >> a family can STAY organized in order to help >> from>> >> >> being>> >> >> >> so>> >> >> >> >> >> overwhelmed!!! has also spent a lot of time >> crying>> >> >> and>> >> >> >> >> temper>> >> >> >> >> >> tantruming and I think worst of all PICKING on his>> >> youngest>> >> >> >>

>> sister!!>> >> >> >> >> >> She's a screamer and he picks on her until she screams>> >> (VERY>> >> >> >> >> LOUDLY)>> >> >> >> >> >> and then complains that she is screaming and hurting >> his>> >> >> ears...>> >> >> >> >> then>> >> >> >> >> >> he goes back and does the same thing again!! Can you >> tell>> >> >> that>> >> >> >> I'm>> >> >> >> >> >> stressed??? LOL>> >> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> >> This is the sad part of AS to me at least! The >> feelings of>> >> >> self>> >> >> >> >> >>

worthlessness!! is Proud that he is so smart >> and>> >> that>> >> >> >> "he>> >> >> >> >> >> knows more than any of the other kids in his class" >> but he>> >> >> gets>> >> >> >> so>> >> >> >> >> >> upset because he doesn't have friends, can't ride a >> bike,>> >> >> etc...>> >> >> >> >> I'm>> >> >> >> >> >> hoping that we the new therapy appts that we can get >> his>> >> life>> >> >> >> and>> >> >> >> >> our>> >> >> >> >> >> family life on track and can help him to see that He is>> >> NOT>> >> >> >>

>> >> defective... just a very unique child with different >> great>> >> >> >> >> qualities>> >> >> >> >> >> that others do not possess!!>> >> >> >> >> >> On Jul 11, 2007, at 11:14 AM, Sandy wrote:>> >> >> >> >> >>>> >> >> >> >> >> > ...but he calls it defective!>> >> >> >> >> >> > my ds, calls himself a loser!...he's also 10.5>> >> >> >> >> >> > I get so upset when he does that. I can't handle it. >> he>> >> >> says>> >> >> >> he>> >> >> >> >> is a>> >> >> >> >> >> > loser but gets mad if his brother calls him one. My >>

ds>> >> even>> >> >> >> >> blames>> >> >> >> >> >> it>> >> >> >> >> >> > on his own glasses for the reason he "can't do >> anything>> >> >> right">> >> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >