Probably one of the most unpleasant days..........

July 25, 2006

We were having something going on at our church today. So my other

child wanted to go, and my autistic son said he wanted to go. He

had a pretty good week this week, no major outbursts so I told him

if they had something for his age he could go. Before I dropped him

off, I asked him " Are you sure? " He usually doesn't want to go out

in public. He said " yes I'm sure, I want to go " After I saw there

were only about 4 kids in his age group I was ok. So he played

soccar with a few kids, then they went in and he was fine. They

went in to do crafts and the teacher gave them beads and suggested

they make happy faces. That did it, he exploded. The teacher took

him out of the room and asked him why he said " I wanted to make a

sad face " The teacher told him he could make a sad face, that was

fine, but he started crying and screaming more, so I took him out to

the car where he continued to scream and say he was going to break

the car windows, I learned my lesson from before and stood outside

the car. He calmed down and said he wanted to go back in, so I took

him in and they were in a room to have snack, and he started

screaming again, this time saying " I'm going

to beat up my Mom, I'm going to kick her @#$*#(# @## " The teacher

physcially took him outside which I was very thankful for and talked

to him. He took him back in the sanctuary and he screamed probabaly

the loudest I've ever heard and came after me, pushing me trying to

hit me and pulling my shirt. (I don't know what I did, I was just

standing out in the front waiting for this to all be over) I am so

so embarrassed!!!!!!! I don't know if I can go back to this church,

I mean they are all supportive and I probably have 20 people praying

for us right now, and probably about five people or more came up to

me telling me about their experiences or they have had autism in

their family and they knew what I was going through, but still I am

so embarrassed. OH the pastor gave

me a hug but after I had been out in the sun getting him to the car

and then me standing out in the sun, after driving there in a hot

car, I know I must have smelled real nice. I'm embarrassed about

two things now, but I just don't know what to do anymore. Thank

you for listening.

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