Re: RE: RE: Re: Does this sound familiar to anyone?

[Guest guest]

My son will not brush his teeth. I think its because he doesnt want to stand

still that long. I usually have to do it for him and the whole time we are

trying to hold his head still while brushing his teeth. As for the washing self

i have been going over this problem myself this weekend. My son is 12 and i am a

single parent with no males in the house. He still needs help with personal

hygeine and needs me to help him wash his hair, he thinks you can shampoo it

dry, no matter how many times you tell him he needs to get it wet first. I have

tried since he was about 10 to teach him how to bath but he is just not getting

it and if i do leave him to do it on his own he will use the whole bottle of

shampoo and conditioner as well as all the body wash and anything else that may

be in there. Does anyone have suggestions for teaching these basic skills or how

to handle an almost teenager that still needs help with bathing?

Loh Family <lohslearningathome@...> wrote:

My son hated to brush his teeth when he was younger. Now his OCD about

germs ensures that his teeth are clean every night!

in Phoenix

Roxanna <madideas@...> wrote:

Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Does this sound familiar to anyone?

My son hates to brush his teeth, I have to sit on the toilet and make him do

it... but it makes him extremely happy to have me sitting in there with him,

so that is his incentive. For sure... I was telling someone that story in

the " real world " And they were so offended with me... like How dare you wash

your 14 year old child?? What should I do, let him never wash, cause he

wont wash himself! He dosn't care if he stinks... most parents now a days

think that hands on is somehow disgusting or wrong... I am really sick of

parents of " NORMAL " children judging me and how I HAVE to raise my son. I

don't yell or hit or belittle or abuse my son in anyway, which is more than

alot of parents of normal kids can say... I think that our children's

Asperger's makes us be better parents.... what do you think? Tami

***I think it makes us view parenting a lot differently and we appreciate

things more than a typical parent would. I would not discuss a lot with the

NT parent so you don't have to get into it if possible.

Another thing to think of is working on a plan to try and get your ds to do

more things independently. Maybe a visual schedule listing each step for

him and you can slowly fade out of the bathroom as he is accomplishing

things? But I agree - he has to get clean! I know some kids who really

make that hard!

Roxanna

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Just tell him that he needs to bath because otherwise he'll end up smelling

that's what i was told.

Re: ( ) Re: Does this sound familiar to anyone?

My son hates to brush his teeth, I have to sit on the toilet and make him do

it... but it makes him extremely happy to have me sitting in there with him,

so that is his incentive. For sure... I was telling someone that story in

the " real world " And they were so offended with me... like How dare you wash

your 14 year old child?? What should I do, let him never wash, cause he

wont wash himself! He dosn't care if he stinks... most parents now a days

think that hands on is somehow disgusting or wrong... I am really sick of

parents of " NORMAL " children judging me and how I HAVE to raise my son. I

don't yell or hit or belittle or abuse my son in anyway, which is more than

alot of parents of normal kids can say... I think that our children's

Asperger's makes us be better parents.... what do you think? Tami

***I think it makes us view parenting a lot differently and we appreciate

things more than a typical parent would. I would not discuss a lot with the

NT parent so you don't have to get into it if possible.

Another thing to think of is working on a plan to try and get your ds to do

more things independently. Maybe a visual schedule listing each step for

him and you can slowly fade out of the bathroom as he is accomplishing

things? But I agree - he has to get clean! I know some kids who really

make that hard!

Roxanna

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I bought one of those bath scrunchies.........does anyone know what I am

talking about? They look like a big ball of fluff, I let my Son pick out the

color he wanted, and tell him no more than one squirt of body wash on that

thing, he does soap up and lather really well with that thing, he uses a lot of

body wash and shampoo too, we seem to go through a bottle every week as well as

Axe Body Spray, he is 14, and I simply got him a buzz cut, as he would always

have a lot of soap left in his hair, then it turned to dandruff and he got

into trouble in school for brushing the dandruff out of his hair onto his

desk,(its never ending) also honestly wiping after a BM, I use the wet toilet

wipes, they work well, he used to call me into the bathroom to wipe for him

until he was almost 13. Also another thing I am having trouble with is drying

off after bathing, it is NON existant, no matter how many times I tell him,

now we are experiencing the red and itchy groins because of them staying wet,

he won't let me look at them........he said NO WAY! LOL! So I just bought him

some medicine to put on, he is trying but most of it ends up all over the

bathroom floor.

Lynda

[Guest guest]

That is very interesting about wiping after a bm. My son does not do it well

either and always asks me to help. I didn't know that this was a common thing

among AS. I did find out from a specialist though that it has a lot to do with

" crossing the body " AS people have a hard time doing anything that requires one

side of their body to cross the other i.e wiping, putting on socks ect. Does

anyone else notice these types of problems? Thanks for the post it helps me

understand better that this is probably one of those things he won't grow out

of.

( ) RE: RE: Re: Does this sound familiar to anyone?

My son does not like to dry himself, although he is getting more

thorough at it (the towel is always wet). He also does not do a

good job wiping after a BM, although that too is improving. He is

more interested in reading the catalog/magazines in the bathroom

rack, than in going to the pot. I wish I could convince my hubby

that the reading material is not helping him to focus on bathroom

duties. (Hubby like to read while on the john.) Sigh. My son used

to be awful when he began standing to pee; it was EVERYWHERE! Dh

got a chuckle out of it " it's a guy thing " . Okay, I had them clean

up a few times and that has changed their habits. Accidents will

happen, but things are much cleaner these days!

Ruth

>

> I bought one of those bath scrunchies.........does anyone know

what I am

> talking about? They look like a big ball of fluff, I let my Son

pick out the

> color he wanted, and tell him no more than one squirt of body wash

on that

> thing, he does soap up and lather really well with that thing, he

uses a lot of

> body wash and shampoo too, we seem to go through a bottle every

week as well as

> Axe Body Spray, he is 14, and I simply got him a buzz cut, as he

would always

> have a lot of soap left in his hair, then it turned to dandruff

and he got

> into trouble in school for brushing the dandruff out of his hair

onto his

> desk,(its never ending) also honestly wiping after a BM, I use the

wet toilet

> wipes, they work well, he used to call me into the bathroom to

wipe for him

> until he was almost 13. Also another thing I am having trouble

with is drying

> off after bathing, it is NON existant, no matter how many times I

tell him,

> now we are experiencing the red and itchy groins because of them

staying wet,

> he won't let me look at them........he said NO WAY! LOL! So I just

bought him

> some medicine to put on, he is trying but most of it ends up all

over the

> bathroom floor.

> Lynda

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My son used to have that problem... have you tried those wet toilet paper wipes?

That might help... my son has a hard time with socks too and tying his shoes...

he gets easily frustrated:(

( ) RE: RE: Re: Does this sound familiar to anyone?

My son does not like to dry himself, although he is getting more

thorough at it (the towel is always wet). He also does not do a

good job wiping after a BM, although that too is improving. He is

more interested in reading the catalog/magazines in the bathroom

rack, than in going to the pot. I wish I could convince my hubby

that the reading material is not helping him to focus on bathroom

duties. (Hubby like to read while on the john.) Sigh. My son used

to be awful when he began standing to pee; it was EVERYWHERE! Dh

got a chuckle out of it " it's a guy thing " . Okay, I had them clean

up a few times and that has changed their habits. Accidents will

happen, but things are much cleaner these days!

Ruth

>

> I bought one of those bath scrunchies.........does anyone know

what I am

> talking about? They look like a big ball of fluff, I let my Son

pick out the

> color he wanted, and tell him no more than one squirt of body wash

on that

> thing, he does soap up and lather really well with that thing, he

uses a lot of

> body wash and shampoo too, we seem to go through a bottle every

week as well as

> Axe Body Spray, he is 14, and I simply got him a buzz cut, as he

would always

> have a lot of soap left in his hair, then it turned to dandruff

and he got

> into trouble in school for brushing the dandruff out of his hair

onto his

> desk,(its never ending) also honestly wiping after a BM, I use the

wet toilet

> wipes, they work well, he used to call me into the bathroom to

wipe for him

> until he was almost 13. Also another thing I am having trouble

with is drying

> off after bathing, it is NON existant, no matter how many times I

tell him,

> now we are experiencing the red and itchy groins because of them

staying wet,

> he won't let me look at them........he said NO WAY! LOL! So I just

bought him

> some medicine to put on, he is trying but most of it ends up all

over the

> bathroom floor.

> Lynda

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Showering without using soap, wiping issues, etc.

I am glad I am not alone. Anyone else's kids

bolt through the door as soon as they get home from

school and barely make it to the bathroom, but

won't use the bathroom at school?

Jackie

[Guest guest]

Thats my son, he will not use the bathroom at school. When they were

little and we were traveling if we stopped at a bathroom that even had

toilet paper on the floor they would not use it. I am ashamed to say

that alot of the times we would stop by the road and let them tee tee

because it was so hard to find a bathroom suitable for them, and yet

they tinkle all over our floor and it doesn't bother them. We can't even

stop at the store after school because we have to hurry our 30 minute

drive home so B can use the bathroom. Another funny thing, when they

were little they would check the ratings of restaurants before they

would eat there. We never told them about that, they discovered it on

their own. Between bathroom troubles and restaurant troubles and them

generally being terrible passengers we don't get out often! Toni

Jackie Geipel wrote:

>

>

> Showering without using soap, wiping issues, etc.

> I am glad I am not alone. Anyone else's kids

> bolt through the door as soon as they get home from

> school and barely make it to the bathroom, but

> won't use the bathroom at school?

>

> Jackie

>

>

[Guest guest]

My 14yo refuses to use the bathrooms at school, but ALWAYS uses the facilities

whenever we are at a new place (and multiple times if there's more than one

bathroom)

I finally did the " duh " thing & asked him why he won't use the bathroom at

school...turns out the school has removed the stall doors because they were

becoming a safety issue (punks would slam them into unsuspecting passing

students, hang & swing on them, etc.) and he needs his privacy...even when he

stands, he uses a stall.

He also said that visiting the bathrooms in new settings helps him feel used

to a place quicker, and he's looking to experience a bidet...he saw it in

Crocodile Dundee & just HAS to find one now.

Hugs & Peace,

Sheri Briley

http://my2.tupperware.com/johnbriley

---------------------------------

Ring'em or ping'em. Make PC-to-phone calls as low as 1¢/min with

Messenger with Voice.

[Guest guest]

I am actually thinking of putting it into his behavior plan next

year, esp if

I get the para I requested. We had the problem at our old school with

my older son that the locks were broken, and he is very modest and

anxious.

They...um...always sit. Now I don't know what the problem is. But I

bet

it's not a big one. Oh, the old school's bathrooms were outside on the

playground. (The whole school was outdoor corridors.) When they are

at their one recess here, it's outside, the restrooms are inside, and

the doors are locked from

the inside. So I guess they were just supposed to ask the teacher

when they needed to go. (I just asked). We may have to work that

into the schedule once a day, maybe during Drop Everything And Read

time, as he doesn't use that time wisely anyway. I suspect after even

a week of being discretely directed, he will feel more comfortable

asking.

And his old teacher thought I was over-involved. However did he get

that impression? LOL

Jackie

On Jun 20, 2006, at 11:29 AM, Toni wrote:

> Thats my son, he will not use the bathroom at school.

[Guest guest]

Toni, it sounds as though the boys would benefit from some inhome services

to help with self help and daily living skills. Pam

[Guest guest]

Toni, these are issues that should really be addressed as part of your sons'

transition plans which are part of their IEPs. I'm not sure if I sent you

this link, but you might find it helpful. It is the school's responsiblity to

provide a transition plan (discussion now federally mandated to being at age

16) that addresses issues that will ready the student for life after

highschool. That could include vocational support, daily living support, and

self

advocacy skills. Agencies involved in the transition process (Department of

Developmental Disabilities, Office of Rehabilitative Services) etc. would be

invited to come to the meeting to develop and discuss the transition plan.

They would be able to help you access daily living and self help skills help

for

your sons. Pam

_Designing Individualized Education Program (IEP) Transition Plans_

(http://ericec.org/digests/e598.html)

[Guest guest]

who and where do you get those? I am filling out paper work with the

DHR. Would they be the ones to help.? That's my problem, not knowing

where and who to get help from... Thanks Pam. Toni

ppanda65@... wrote:

>

> Toni, it sounds as though the boys would benefit from some inhome

> services

> to help with self help and daily living skills. Pam

>

>

[Guest guest]

My son just says, " So, I don't care what other people think! " That doesn't work

on them, they have no care of other people's opinions if it is something they

really don't want to do...

Re: ( ) Re: Does this sound familiar to anyone?

My son hates to brush his teeth, I have to sit on the toilet and make him do

it... but it makes him extremely happy to have me sitting in there with him,

so that is his incentive. For sure... I was telling someone that story in

the " real world " And they were so offended with me... like How dare you wash

your 14 year old child?? What should I do, let him never wash, cause he

wont wash himself! He dosn't care if he stinks... most parents now a days

think that hands on is somehow disgusting or wrong... I am really sick of

parents of " NORMAL " children judging me and how I HAVE to raise my son. I

don't yell or hit or belittle or abuse my son in anyway, which is more than

alot of parents of normal kids can say... I think that our children's

Asperger's makes us be better parents.... what do you think? Tami

***I think it makes us view parenting a lot differently and we appreciate

things more than a typical parent would. I would not discuss a lot with the

NT parent so you don't have to get into it if possible.

Another thing to think of is working on a plan to try and get your ds to do

more things independently. Maybe a visual schedule listing each step for

him and you can slowly fade out of the bathroom as he is accomplishing

things? But I agree - he has to get clean! I know some kids who really

make that hard!

Roxanna

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

My boys are in private school and they don't have to do ieps. We just

had a mtg last month to get the results from their testing through the

ed dept. I have a call into the sped director to address these problems.

Thanks for your help and link. You did give that to me before and I

printed it out.

ppanda65@... wrote:

>

> Toni, these are issues that should really be addressed as part of your

> sons'

> transition plans which are part of their IEPs. I'm not sure if I sent you

> this link, but you might find it helpful. It is the school's

> responsiblity to

> provide a transition plan (discussion now federally mandated to being

> at age

> 16) that addresses issues that will ready the student for life after

> highschool. That could include vocational support, daily living

> support, and self

> advocacy skills. Agencies involved in the transition process

> (Department of

> Developmental Disabilities, Office of Rehabilitative Services) etc.

> would be

> invited to come to the meeting to develop and discuss the transition

> plan.

> They would be able to help you access daily living and self help

> skills help for

> your sons. Pam

>

> _Designing Individualized Education Program (IEP) Transition Plans_

> (http://ericec.org/digests/e598.html

> <http://ericec.org/digests/e598.html>)

>

>

[Guest guest]

No! No! Say it isn't so! ( " he won't grow out of " ) I believe they will all get

at least competent at wiping, drying themselves off, shampooing their own hair,

etc. This crossing the midline stuff does seem to be incredibly difficult for

some of our children, but I just keep plugging away at it. He's nine now, do I

think I can get him trained by eighteen? I hope so!

Instead of accepting that he may never do it properly, just accept that you will

have to do a lot more teaching training to get there than you ever would with a

NT child. I always liked the term " developmental delay " better than

developmental disability for that reason. He's just " delayed " ! He'll get

there, or at least some serviceable semblance of there, eventually. I hope!

( ) RE: RE: Re: Does this sound familiar to anyone?

My son does not like to dry himself, although he is getting more

thorough at it (the towel is always wet). He also does not do a

good job wiping after a BM, although that too is improving. He is

more interested in reading the catalog/magazines in the bathroom

rack, than in going to the pot. I wish I could convince my hubby

that the reading material is not helping him to focus on bathroom

duties. (Hubby like to read while on the john.) Sigh. My son used

to be awful when he began standing to pee; it was EVERYWHERE! Dh

got a chuckle out of it " it's a guy thing " . Okay, I had them clean

up a few times and that has changed their habits. Accidents will

happen, but things are much cleaner these days!

Ruth

>

> I bought one of those bath scrunchies.........does anyone know

what I am

> talking about? They look like a big ball of fluff, I let my Son

pick out the

> color he wanted, and tell him no more than one squirt of body wash

on that

> thing, he does soap up and lather really well with that thing, he

uses a lot of

> body wash and shampoo too, we seem to go through a bottle every

week as well as

> Axe Body Spray, he is 14, and I simply got him a buzz cut, as he

would always

> have a lot of soap left in his hair, then it turned to dandruff

and he got

> into trouble in school for brushing the dandruff out of his hair

onto his

> desk,(its never ending) also honestly wiping after a BM, I use the

wet toilet

> wipes, they work well, he used to call me into the bathroom to

wipe for him

> until he was almost 13. Also another thing I am having trouble

with is drying

> off after bathing, it is NON existant, no matter how many times I

tell him,

> now we are experiencing the red and itchy groins because of them

staying wet,

> he won't let me look at them........he said NO WAY! LOL! So I just

bought him

> some medicine to put on, he is trying but most of it ends up all

over the

> bathroom floor.

> Lynda

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I am sure that he will eventually manage on his own all the time. I can not

imagine that I will want to be helping with all of those things when he is a

teen(privacy) now will he want me to. My son really tries and that is all I can

ask of him for now.

( ) RE: RE: Re: Does this sound familiar to anyone?

My son does not like to dry himself, although he is getting more

thorough at it (the towel is always wet). He also does not do a

good job wiping after a BM, although that too is improving. He is

more interested in reading the catalog/magazines in the bathroom

rack, than in going to the pot. I wish I could convince my hubby

that the reading material is not helping him to focus on bathroom

duties. (Hubby like to read while on the john.) Sigh. My son used

to be awful when he began standing to pee; it was EVERYWHERE! Dh

got a chuckle out of it " it's a guy thing " . Okay, I had them clean

up a few times and that has changed their habits. Accidents will

happen, but things are much cleaner these days!

Ruth

>

> I bought one of those bath scrunchies.........does anyone know

what I am

> talking about? They look like a big ball of fluff, I let my Son

pick out the

> color he wanted, and tell him no more than one squirt of body wash

on that

> thing, he does soap up and lather really well with that thing, he

uses a lot of

> body wash and shampoo too, we seem to go through a bottle every

week as well as

> Axe Body Spray, he is 14, and I simply got him a buzz cut, as he

would always

> have a lot of soap left in his hair, then it turned to dandruff

and he got

> into trouble in school for brushing the dandruff out of his hair

onto his

> desk,(its never ending) also honestly wiping after a BM, I use the

wet toilet

> wipes, they work well, he used to call me into the bathroom to

wipe for him

> until he was almost 13. Also another thing I am having trouble

with is drying

> off after bathing, it is NON existant, no matter how many times I

tell him,

> now we are experiencing the red and itchy groins because of them

staying wet,

> he won't let me look at them........he said NO WAY! LOL! So I just

bought him

> some medicine to put on, he is trying but most of it ends up all

over the

> bathroom floor.

> Lynda

>

>

>