RE: Re: Job changes - A good story for those abused in workplace and also for ppl aspiring to become managers

[Guest guest]

Boy Joanie,

I know what you mean. I am in the engineering field where very few women

are when you look at total percentage. The last job I had was hell at

times. The boss did the exact same thing to me when he took over. I had

all these glowing reports and BAM! changed over night. It's sad because I

honestly tried to please him. I thought he was brilliant and a smart guy

and I treated him with respect. But all I ever got back was pure attitude

and verbal slaps. Some days I'd end up crying and I do not cry easy. That

is when you know, it's time to change. A job to me is a means to afford

stuff for the fun stuff in my life. Someone said it best that finding ones

passion in a job is rare.

My boss (we'll call him manager X) would berate me and say all sorts of crap

but when it came time to putting it on paper for my review? He gave me ok

marks. After several reviews, I could'nt take it anymore and I brought in

HR and basically told them if they did not put me under someone else, I was

going to have to leave. HR told me my marks weren't bad enough and

basically accused me of making it up. Finally Manager Y who reported to

Manager X asked if Manager X would let him manage me...he reluctantly

agreed. I felt buffered and I began to flourish, enjoying my job again. I

felt sorry for Manager Y because I'm sure that Manager X was ticked that I

got away from him so I'm sure manager Y got abused . The abusive Manager

X finally got a new Manager above him (we'll call him Manager Z). That

Manager Z spent a lot of time talking to ppl in his branch on who reported

to whom. When it came my time to talk to Manager Z, I was pale and sitting

in his chair not sure what to say - I'm rarely without words LOL. I trusted

no one at this point really. He then saw that I was petrified to talk about

the " issues " and he opened up naming all the stuff I had gone through. I

sat there in literal shock and just nodded my head and I even had tears

welling up in my eyes - I tried to hide them..but man how did this guy know

what I had been through? Apparently he had talked to others in my group had

similar issues with the Manager X. And there were similar threads among

the stories. I finally opened up to him. He had me report to him then

because I think Manager X was really coming down hard on Manager Y because

of me. I just didn't want to be anyone's source of pain.

Manager Z assured me that he would make sure that Manager X would be worked

on. Well a year passed and Manager Z came to me asking me if I'd go work

under Manager X again. I told him since he (manager Z) won my trust, I'd do

anything for him. I went home and bawled and then updated my resume. I

couldn't believe I felt so betrayed to be told to go back to that horrible

Manager X. Well I met with Manager X the next Monday and the first thing I

got was an apology for all he did to me and that he was determined to work

with me better. My mouth dropped open and I must admit I was still

skeptical. I couldn't believe the 180 this guy did though. Weekly, Manager

Z met with me to make sure Manager X was treating me right. I asked Manager

Z what happened and he said he just had to teach Manager X how to win

loyalty and that his job was to motivate ppl not judge plus that he'd be

meeting with me to find out his real progress HAHA. All of us are laid off

now...every manager and myself as well as 70 percent of the company. I met

with them all for lunch and was amazed I could even look at Manager X

without any hurt or hatred.

Moral of this story? Life is too short to be taking abuse. I totally feel

for anyone who has to endure a power tripping jerk - male or female. My

issue ended up working out but that is one in a million. Also, I told this

story because if you are thinking of becoming a manager or are a

manager....this is how this situation got turned around. I will carry this

lesson for the rest of my life. Mentoring is not done enough in a

management position. People are just thrown into that job sometimes and

while they wallow in learning about it, their abusive side can be actually

quite prevalent. On a side note, you can't bank on HR caring. Their

primary job is to make sure the administration of the workplace goes in a

flow, not to be full time counselors to fix it. In my experience it is only

special HR ppl that take on a personal objective to making the environment

more friendly but it is by FAR not common for them to be like that....in my

field anyway. Most of the time they WILL back their managers and company

policies with a deaf ear. Joanie, you do not have a Manager Z to fix this

...so you have to leave..you can't keep taking that abuse. Your self worth

is worth a lot more darling.

Sherra

Re: Job changes - WLS related?

>

>

> > Ugh, the job I got to get this surgery was for a local gas company with

> their

> > call center. It was awful. We serviced areas all over the US, so we had

> people

> > from Colorado, Louisiana, Kentucky etc always calling. People were

> > horrendous to me and I never let them get me on their level. I got to

the

> point

> > where I would warn them to stop cussing, calm down, etc. or I would

> release

> > the line. And I did it! I never would've done that before. I know that

is

> because

> > I learned to stand up for myself and could handle any type of person.

> >

> > I am relieved not to have to work in that job anymore. I loved the

> company,

> > the benefits, but the job was not for me. I like sitting in front of a

> Mac,

> > designing my horse ads and editorials and listening to the radio or a cd

> and

> > not worrying about dealing with people on any level.

> >

> > M

> >

> >

> > > I have not worked much since surgery. I have been on disability.

> > > However, I was relieved when I finally left my last job. I hated the

> job

> > > loved the pay. For me, I did not have the energy to find another job

so

> > > I stuck with the one I had. I also took the first job that came along

> > > for fear I would never find another job. Who wants to hire a fat

woman

> > > anyway? I realized that the last job I had was NOT good for my self

> > > esteem. I'll give you a good example. I worked in customer service.

> > > FCC regulations state that you must give a customer one warning of

> > > inappropriate conduct before you hang up. Our company policy was that

> > no

> > > matter how abusive the customer got, we were not allowed to EVER hang

> > up.

> > > We were required to accept the cussing, the criticism, the foul

mouths,

> > > etc. I think that the more weight I loose the better I feel about me

> and

> > > the better I feel about me the more I expect to be treated with

respect.

> > > So, yes I think we change after surgery.

> > > Lori Owen - Denton, Texas

> > > SRVG 7/16/01

> > > Dr. Ritter/Dr. Bryce

> > > 479/356/hoping for close to 200

> > >

> > > On Mon, 08 Dec 2003 15:28:12 -0000 " karlahook " <k.hook@c...>

> > > writes:

> > > > Since WLS Surgery I have changed jobs several times....bored, not

> > > > satisfied with what I am doing. Below are the changes in Jobs:

> > > >

> > > > - Surgery April 2000

> > > > Oct 1999 - Oct 2000 - Ended long term temp job Oct 2000

> > > > Nov 2000 - Jan 2001 - Worked temp position until got perm job

> > > > Jan 2001 - Nov 2001 - Worked perm job until something more exciting

> > > >

> > > > came along (basically was bored and not busy enough)

> > > > Nov 2001 - May 2002 - Job was fun but my boss left and I was doing

> > > > her job and was promised the a raise and job title...after 2 months

> > > >

> > > > of lots of stress and no raise as promised...I left

> > > > May 2002 - Jul 2002 - Temp job until recieved perm job

> > > > Jul 2002 - Present - my present job the people are wonderful but I

> > > > am

> > > > bored and don't have enough to do...makes for a long day. So I have

> > > >

> > > > been putting my resume out there and have an interview today with a

> > > >

> > > > GREAT company.

> > > >

> > > > I guess my question to everyone is...since surgery are you as happy

> > > >

> > > > with your job as you were before surgery....are you restless like

> > > > me? My husband says I should just stay where I am because the pay

> > > > is

> > > > great and the people are wonderful...but I'm just not satisfied.

> > > > I'm

> > > > beginning to wonder if I ever will be again.

> > > >

> > > > Now I do have to say that my jobs before surgery were all long term

> > > > 4-

> > > > 5 years at each company....so don't know if my attitude has just

> > > > changed since surgery or what.

> > > >

> > > > So what do you think?

> > > >

> > > > Karla Hook

> > > > Dr. Provost

> > > > 4/7/00

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

> > > >

> > > > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

I have to say this is bringing back horrible memories. I had worked as a

Travel Agent for AAA in Fairfax, VA. Loved my job. Loved the people I worked

for and with. Hasband got transferred to FL. I applied for a job as a Travel

Agent at AAA there, but there were NO openings. They did, however, offer me

a job as the receptionist there. I took it...one because there were NO jobs

in the town I lived in...and two I figured if I were already there and

working...if an opening came up....I would be considered first for the

position. Well, after a year it finally happened. One of the Travel agents

got fired. I got her job (because I pushed the Office Manager so hard...that

I think she was afraid I would complain if I didn't get the job). Then the

Travel Agency manager quit! We got a new manager....a man. I was the lowest

agent on the team (the one with the LEAST experience in YEARS) and was on

probation. He had quit working for his MOTHER at HER travel agency and

supposedly had YEARS of experience in Travel. Well, let me tell you....I

learned real fast that FIRST he went for one of our top agents because he

was gay. He quit...we had to pick up all HIS clients. During this time he

started to pick on me. I was the lowest on the totem pole. Every time I was

called into his office I was chewed out to the point of tears, yet my sales

were above average and I was pulling my weight in that office. Finally, I

reached the point where I couldn't take his verbal abuse any more....and I

walked into the office and without giving notice...quit. I was the second

agent in 6 weeks to quit. Two weeks later my best friend in the office quit

for the same reason. So, in 8 weeks they had three travel agents walk

out...without giving notice. Finally, someone figured out that something ODD

was going on and we each got called by a SENIOR Manager and asked WHY we

quit. I told her the truth. That I was pick on, belittled, harassed and

didn't feel like the Office manager would stand up for me against the Travel

Manager. All three of us told the same story....not one of us got rehired

and that darn office Manager is still there after 8 years. I never did go

back to being a Travel Agent...which is just as well as the industry has

changed so much...and not for the good.

Debbie &

in Gig Harbor

(170cm medial)

ladybostons@...

http://www.cafeshops.com/copsstore

http://www.marykay.com/debbiemcneice