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So I'm not totally nuts! I thought that I was the only one that some

candles set up food cravings. I can't have really good vanilla ones

in the house- they make me hungry!

Alice

The Loon

RNY 12/28/00

> On Thu, 11 Dec 2003 14:38:32 -0500 jpg1747@a... writes:

It finally got to the point where I have stopped buying food scented

candles, air freshners, shampoos, hair conditioners, etc.

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Like the commercial that starts out, " In a perfect world... " . You

would not have this fear of maintanance..You would not have food

(good or bad) consume your lives and thoughts...all that you have

learned would never leave or forsake you and you would be perfectly

trained and prepared to maintain under goal for the rest of your

life. You would never graze or be tempted to graze. When your head

hit the pillow you would dream of warm breezes and a beautiful

deserted beach and as your eyes follow the footsteps in the white

sand they would lead to a small petite woman in the distance with a

smile on her face...and it is you...20 years later.

Then...you wake up.

Let's see, hmmm, what low-carb breakfast can I have? Oops..I have

to run and face the scale before I eat (before stepping on the scale

pleading with the Scale God to plueeezzzzz have it be lower then

yesterday..ok ok..I'll be happy with the same number!) Should I have

a shake now or save it for later? I will not graze...I will not

graze...I will not graze! Think I will take a ride to get SF Tang

and those low-carb meals and Endulge ice-cream (wow, can't wait, I'm

really excited I found a Super Wal-mart even if it is 40 miles

away...I'm there! What did the scale say? Well, I decided not to

weigh myself until my coffee kicked in.

It is not a perfect world, but it is our world...yours and mine.

It unites our hearts and makes us one.

Carol G.

> I have been sitting on your statement, Carol, for a few days now

(obviously),

> because quite frankly I found it so personally ... unsettling.

An economy

> of words in service of a profound truth, imprinted on MY heart but

delivered

> from YOUR mouth.

>

> Lucille

>

>

> > I cannot imagine a life in which weight is not one of the major

> > > daily

> > > > dynamics.

> > > >

> > > > Is anyone with me here or did I just unload a lot of

nonsense?

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > > Like every choice I make, every hour I breathe, every day I

make it

> > > to my bed and the last thought on my mind.

> > >

> > > Carol G.

> >

> >

>

>

>

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There was an hilarious article years back, I think in the New Yorker (?),

about how some patients, displeased with their bored-seeming, distant,

inattentive shrinks and/or other type mental hygienists, noticed said shrinks et

al.

became miraculously energized when said client tried to quit! LMAO! Suddenly,

the doc got all sorts of revved up & hyperattentive! became veritable chatty

kathys, animatedly & persistently trying to talk the client out of terminating

therapy. As a result, and rather creepily, making it very uncomfortable

for said client to quit. Client was challenged to JUSTIFY leaving! So the

next several sessions would be spent discussing this desire to terminate, in

friggin' detail!

Then again, I know someone who told of having had a introductory session with

a shrink, at which she droned on for some time, to discover that the doc was

snoozing. Don't know how true this is or not (I tend to believe it), but

frankly, knowing this person, if true, I don't blame the doc one bit!

Signed,

A contented (phychoanalytic) couch potato,

Lucille

In a message dated 12/12/2003 9:04:01 PM Eastern Standard Time,

Graduate-OSSG writes:

> LOL Reba! I'm lucky if I get 10 or 20 words out of my shrink sometimes!

> There was one day, though, that he started talking about something -- can't

> remember what now, and after about ten minutes or so, I said, " , you

> seem to

> be forgetting that this is about ME - shut up. " He laughed, said, " You're

> absolutely right! " and then shut up!

>

> Beth

>

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That is a good question.

I'm not really sure. I'm only a little over 2 years out so I got a ways to

see really how it all pans out in the long run.

Carol, no, that is not nonsense at all. I admire too much the mirrors and

pictures now..lol. I am not sure that will go away. If it does, it will

once my mind catches up with my body. 20+ yrs of being overweight will take

a lot of undoing to wipe it.

I think we got obese by different reasons which is why certain things/tricks

work for some..and other things work for others...why some are carb

sensitive and others are not...etc. Some people are emotional eaters,

others are not. Some people gorge/binge food and others do not.

I do know one thing. I no longer live to eat, I now am pretty confident

that I eat to live after enough months of behaviour modification. Since I

can't fit in much into my stomach anymore, I am really choosy on what goes

in there " most " meals. I just do not seem to view food the same way. I

can't explain this fully just yet...and why I had to have surgery in order

to feel this way. Varying food or indulging in crap food was my view of

living a little before this surgery, I never gave a thought about what the

junk food did to my body before. My buddy ate it and didn't gain weight,

why couldn't I? I really look at other things instead of food now to feel

that I'm living. That isn't to say that I don't indulge here and there and

also don't think about indulging. Usually I'm not drawn to over indulging

or binging though and never was too much prior to surgery. I just felt

always hungry and ate pop, pasta and breads...all the wrong chemical hazards

I could think of that never satisified my thirst nor hunger.

I know I will always have to watch not going back to the foods that helped

make me fat, but I don't consider myself obsessing over it or having to

really work at it anymore. I also don't consider myself denying myself

either. Those foods are BAD for me. Most had zero nutrition and the others

that had some...are not the best nutritional picks anyway. Maybe I'll feel

differently after a few more years have passed but right now, I feel such a

peace because of this tool and behaviour modifications I can't describe it.

Peace from 25+ yrs of worry and defeat and guilt and rejection. The shakes

is what was my saviour and is what worked for me and my chemical problems,

the tool worked for me for my quantity problems and helps malabsorb. What I

wouldn't give to have a wand to go out and touch ppl with that granted them

this feeling...but we all have to search what our habits are and find

solutions - my solution did not come over night. The last part of that last

sentence I feel is KEY no matter what turns the tide for you. Always keep

mind and heart open to find them and think " I got this operation to be

Healthy..am I doing all I can do to fulfill that? "

Love you all,

Sherra

PS. I just about cried last night when I slipped on my velvet black dress I

had saved from Junior High LOL geez...JUNIOR HIGH! I reached 130 and I

thought I'd give it a try and wow, it was an inch too big but was nice not

to have to " suck it in " the whole night.

Re: Laugh if you will

>

>

>

> > I cannot imagine a life in which weight is not one of the major

> daily

> > dynamics.

> >

> > Is anyone with me here or did I just unload a lot of nonsense?

> >

> >

>

> Like every choice I make, every hour I breathe, every day I make it

> to my bed and the last thought on my mind.

>

> Carol G.

>

>

> Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>

> Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

>

>

>

>

>

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Maybe he is afraid you'll get better by talking to us? LMAO then you

wouldn't be going to him?

I really think some are threatened by the online world because it " can " be

therapeutic. You guys have no clue what you have done for me LOL..well yes

ok some of you sure do if you feel the same way as I do about this group.

I feel like you have saved not only my physical life but also my sanity. It

is amazing how hearing how others feel that you can identify with, can be so

calming to ones psyche. And the online world, in my experience, people tend

to open up more. I had a very hard time going in person to support groups

because of the egos not allowing people to open up and tell their bad

experiences. If you were too happy, you were slapped down, if you were too

sad, you were ridiculed. Was just crazy so I couldn't go back. I am

willing to try another day..maybe another group if I find one, but not in a

rush because you guys are honestly filling that void.

Who do I send the check to? /snicker

Sherra

Re: Laugh if you will

> Got to ring in here. Went to a shrink to adjust some depression

> meds. In our talking session (he did most of the talking) I spoke

> about my live and internet support groups. He told me that support

> groups like that were only for the ones who are having problems so I

> would see more people with more problems there than in real

> life....NO I WOULD NOT RECOMMEND THIS MAN!!!!! And I will never go

> back to that particular doc. Damned string bean! Doesn't know s**t

> from shineola about being fat! Not a good shrink either. Any

> shrink worth their wt in salt doesn't talk more than the client and

> keep lookin' at the clock!

>

> Reba

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I'm sharing in your joy with you, Sherra! You go girl ;)

Carol G.

> That is a good question.

>

> I'm not really sure. I'm only a little over 2 years out so I got

a ways to

> see really how it all pans out in the long run.

>

> Carol, no, that is not nonsense at all. I admire too much the

mirrors and

> pictures now..lol. I am not sure that will go away. If it does,

it will

> once my mind catches up with my body. 20+ yrs of being overweight

will take

> a lot of undoing to wipe it.

>

> I think we got obese by different reasons which is why certain

things/tricks

> work for some..and other things work for others...why some are carb

> sensitive and others are not...etc. Some people are emotional

eaters,

> others are not. Some people gorge/binge food and others do not.

>

> I do know one thing. I no longer live to eat, I now am pretty

confident

> that I eat to live after enough months of behaviour modification.

Since I

> can't fit in much into my stomach anymore, I am really choosy on

what goes

> in there " most " meals. I just do not seem to view food the same

way. I

> can't explain this fully just yet...and why I had to have surgery

in order

> to feel this way. Varying food or indulging in crap food was my

view of

> living a little before this surgery, I never gave a thought about

what the

> junk food did to my body before. My buddy ate it and didn't gain

weight,

> why couldn't I? I really look at other things instead of food now

to feel

> that I'm living. That isn't to say that I don't indulge here and

there and

> also don't think about indulging. Usually I'm not drawn to over

indulging

> or binging though and never was too much prior to surgery. I just

felt

> always hungry and ate pop, pasta and breads...all the wrong

chemical hazards

> I could think of that never satisified my thirst nor hunger.

>

> I know I will always have to watch not going back to the foods

that helped

> make me fat, but I don't consider myself obsessing over it or

having to

> really work at it anymore. I also don't consider myself denying

myself

> either. Those foods are BAD for me. Most had zero nutrition and

the others

> that had some...are not the best nutritional picks anyway. Maybe

I'll feel

> differently after a few more years have passed but right now, I

feel such a

> peace because of this tool and behaviour modifications I can't

describe it.

> Peace from 25+ yrs of worry and defeat and guilt and rejection.

The shakes

> is what was my saviour and is what worked for me and my chemical

problems,

> the tool worked for me for my quantity problems and helps

malabsorb. What I

> wouldn't give to have a wand to go out and touch ppl with that

granted them

> this feeling...but we all have to search what our habits are and

find

> solutions - my solution did not come over night. The last part of

that last

> sentence I feel is KEY no matter what turns the tide for you.

Always keep

> mind and heart open to find them and think " I got this operation

to be

> Healthy..am I doing all I can do to fulfill that? "

>

>

>

> Love you all,

>

> Sherra

>

> PS. I just about cried last night when I slipped on my velvet

black dress I

> had saved from Junior High LOL geez...JUNIOR HIGH! I reached 130

and I

> thought I'd give it a try and wow, it was an inch too big but was

nice not

> to have to " suck it in " the whole night.

>

>

> Re: Laugh if you will

> >

> >

> >

> > > I cannot imagine a life in which weight is not one of the major

> > daily

> > > dynamics.

> > >

> > > Is anyone with me here or did I just unload a lot of nonsense?

> > >

> > >

> >

> > Like every choice I make, every hour I breathe, every day I make

it

> > to my bed and the last thought on my mind.

> >

> > Carol G.

> >

> >

> > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

> >

> > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

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wow how insightful

thanks for sharing your heart

janice

Re: Re: Laugh if you will

That is a good question.

I'm not really sure. I'm only a little over 2 years out so I got a ways to

see really how it all pans out in the long run.

Carol, no, that is not nonsense at all. I admire too much the mirrors and

pictures now..lol. I am not sure that will go away. If it does, it will

once my mind catches up with my body. 20+ yrs of being overweight will take

a lot of undoing to wipe it.

I think we got obese by different reasons which is why certain things/tricks

work for some..and other things work for others...why some are carb

sensitive and others are not...etc. Some people are emotional eaters,

others are not. Some people gorge/binge food and others do not.

I do know one thing. I no longer live to eat, I now am pretty confident

that I eat to live after enough months of behaviour modification. Since I

can't fit in much into my stomach anymore, I am really choosy on what goes

in there " most " meals. I just do not seem to view food the same way. I

can't explain this fully just yet...and why I had to have surgery in order

to feel this way. Varying food or indulging in crap food was my view of

living a little before this surgery, I never gave a thought about what the

junk food did to my body before. My buddy ate it and didn't gain weight,

why couldn't I? I really look at other things instead of food now to feel

that I'm living. That isn't to say that I don't indulge here and there and

also don't think about indulging. Usually I'm not drawn to over indulging

or binging though and never was too much prior to surgery. I just felt

always hungry and ate pop, pasta and breads...all the wrong chemical hazards

I could think of that never satisified my thirst nor hunger.

I know I will always have to watch not going back to the foods that helped

make me fat, but I don't consider myself obsessing over it or having to

really work at it anymore. I also don't consider myself denying myself

either. Those foods are BAD for me. Most had zero nutrition and the others

that had some...are not the best nutritional picks anyway. Maybe I'll feel

differently after a few more years have passed but right now, I feel such a

peace because of this tool and behaviour modifications I can't describe it.

Peace from 25+ yrs of worry and defeat and guilt and rejection. The shakes

is what was my saviour and is what worked for me and my chemical problems,

the tool worked for me for my quantity problems and helps malabsorb. What I

wouldn't give to have a wand to go out and touch ppl with that granted them

this feeling...but we all have to search what our habits are and find

solutions - my solution did not come over night. The last part of that last

sentence I feel is KEY no matter what turns the tide for you. Always keep

mind and heart open to find them and think " I got this operation to be

Healthy..am I doing all I can do to fulfill that? "

Love you all,

Sherra

PS. I just about cried last night when I slipped on my velvet black dress I

had saved from Junior High LOL geez...JUNIOR HIGH! I reached 130 and I

thought I'd give it a try and wow, it was an inch too big but was nice not

to have to " suck it in " the whole night.

Re: Laugh if you will

>

>

>

> > I cannot imagine a life in which weight is not one of the major

> daily

> > dynamics.

> >

> > Is anyone with me here or did I just unload a lot of nonsense?

> >

> >

>

> Like every choice I make, every hour I breathe, every day I make it

> to my bed and the last thought on my mind.

>

> Carol G.

>

>

> Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>

> Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

>

>

>

>

>

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