FROZEN & TORN

[Guest guest]

Hi folks....thanks for the warm welcome.....i'm feeling a bit

overwhelmed at the moment....i thought i had a handle of this,

reading everything i could get my hands on.....thinking if i just

don't take any meds and find something holistic/homeopathic that i

will be fine....now i'm realizing that it may not be possible to

approach this this way i'd like to....which has left me

frozen....like i dont want to do anything....like a denial....like

if i dont do anything, it will just go away.......and then the fear

sets in.....if i dont do anything, this thing is gonna eat me

alive.....leaving my 3 babies alone.....i'm torn.....

I wheeze everyday....the pain in my ankles, knees & hips is

bad....sometimes i have to use a cane to walk.....then i choke down

some Ibuprofen.....it helps....but what about those lymph

nodes?....those grainy buggers on them....what are they

doing?....what do i do next?....

the pulmonary dr. is trying to get a PET scan approved....my

internist hasn't officially diagnosed anything....but i know....i

know what my body is doing.....he has said that sarcoid word....and

talked about slitting my throat....invading my body with scopes....

now what....waiting to thaw.....

jamie