Re: Re: Finally!

[Guest guest]

Robynn, I want to thank you for this. I put it into Word and then printed it out. This is exactly what I needed. I have been doing this process since 8/2004. I went to another orientation 10/05. I still need to lose 30 pounds to get to surgery. I have not been following it very well and I feel it is because of fear. After reading your post it made me realize this. I am going to start thinking in another frame of mind. Thank you again for waking me up. I am printing it out and going to hang it around my house and at work so I can read it often. Vicki from Suisun.Pamela A Marsh wrote: Robynn, this was wonderful and thank you for puttingthis into words. Love you girlie. You are trulybeautiful on all accounts.Pam Marsh--- Robynn VanPatten <robynnsf (AT) sbcglobal (DOT) net> wrote:> Amen, Randy. I guess I just always took the, "Ok,> this is MY process, and this is the route that my> process is taking." I trust my medical staff to> know what is best for me. Yes, losing the 10> percent was tough. Yes, I felt a lot of stress> trying to make sure I wasn't up even one little lb.> the day of surgery. Yes, I felt sorry for myself> sometimes. > > I wound up havnig two psych exams, because> Richmond brought on their own specialist. Others> didn't have to do that. Some people had to go> through a more extensive lifestyles

class than I> did, because they started seeing that people were> having difficulty sticking to the guidelines.> > I guess here is the way I see it: this surgery,> medical knowledge, anecdotal knowledge, and> individuals themselves are always evolving and> changing. As the different Kaiser programs learn> more, experience different things...they start> adding new steps to the program. I don't view it as> an impediment...rather, I view it as a sturdier> ladder that they are creating for us to make a> successful climb to success.> > Folks at SSF don't always have to lose 10%, it> depends upon the person. On the other hand, they> have a follow up class every week that's more> extensive. Kaiser leaves care, for the most part,> in the hands of doctors. THat's why there are some> variances from program to program. Dr. Fisher has> been

doing this a long time, and he has some pretty> strong ideas about which patients are the most> successful and why. So, how can some other doctor> dictate another protocol to him, when he doesn't> feel convinced that it is the best route to take,> based upon his own training and experience?> > Oftentimes, the "child" part of our personalities> get all riled up when somebody tells us what to do,> how to do something, when to do it. We always think> we know what is best for us.> > I'm not advocating that one blindly put one's> health into the hands of a doctor. On the other> hand, if we were such flipping experts, why are we> MORBIDLY OBESE. The bottom line: we don't know> better. We just don't. And letting go, and> listening and learning...well, I think that's an> important step to take in our process. It's that> cutting our noses off to spite

our faces attitudes> that got us into this position in the first place. > ("He doesn't like me. He thinks I'm fat. I'll show> him...give me some cookies and ice cream so I can> drown my sorrows..").> > I don't mean to be rude, and I absolutely think> that we all need to be our own advocates to make> sure we don't fall through the cracks, and to make> sure our doctors know everything they need to know> in order to help us. > > But, part of maturity is learning to accept that> we don't always have all of the answers. > > My process took a while, although I was put on a> fast track for certain medical reasons. But, I had> to lose 26.5 lbs. I got accepted at the end of> November, I think. I had my surgery 6/08/06 (one> year ago today.) It took me a little over six> months to get that weight off.> > But you know what? That six

months was an> important time. I got frustrated at my lack of> progress, but I learned to quit blaming everybody> else. Instead, I realized that maybe I was blocking> my own process because of fear. Or because of> unresolved issues that I needed to delve into. I> used that time productively. I got back into a> steady exercise routine, and I learned to enjoy the> PROCESS. It wasn't just a means to an end...it was> a journey. > > I did a lot of writing, talking to others on the> board, listening to those who had been successful. > I listened to the folks who struggled emotionally> with coming to grips with their new bodies> afterwards. I gave it all a lot of thought.> > By the time my surgery came, I was ready to change> my life...with all that such change requires of me. > I'm not a military disciplinary kind of person. So,> I adjust

here and there...eat more one day, cut back> the next...eat crap one meal, make sure I get> nutrition in me from the next one. Slack a few> days, make sure I diligently get back on the> exercise wagon the next couple of days. > > It's about balance. It's about figuring out why> you let yourself get so out of control in the first> place. It's about figuring out who you are, what> your boundaries are, what your triggers are. It's> about learning to love yourself. It's about working> with your support system and the people who love you> most. I asked my loved ones, "Look, what behaviours> have you seen in me that you think might contribute> to my obesity?" The answers were hard to hear, but> bless these people for talking turkey to me.> > I spent the time watching my skinny friends. > Realizing that they couldn't honestly eat anything> they

wanted all of the time with no worries about> gaining. NO. There were many times when they took> one bite of dessert, and that was all. Or, heaven> forbid, they didn't order dessert because they were> full...or they had elected a fattening entree. I> heard things (for the first time, because i hadn't> paid close attention before), "hmmm...I think I'm> going to get a salad, because I'm wanting to have a> dessert tonight." I noticed that they didn't scarf> down all of the bread. I noticed that if they did> eat a lot, they made a commitment to eat less the> next few days, and they exercised an extra amount.> > I hear people say post surgery that after the> initial honeymoon is over, they feel like they have> to diet every day of their lives. I think that's> not a very good way to look at it, because it makes> you feel resentful and deprived. The reality

is> that post honeymoon period...you are NORMAL. And as> a normal person, without as much of an advantage> because maybe your tummy has healed up a bit, and> has stretched a bit...and maybe your intestines have> healed and are absorbing more calories..., you need> to watch what you eat. Everybody does. EVERYBODY> DOES>> > I used to think that relatively thin people were> just showing off and trying to make me feel bad when> they talked about feeling bloated, or needing to run> 5 miles...or whatever.> > But now I am a thin person, and I know what they> are saying. When you wear a size 8, you only need> to gain 3 or 4 lbs, and you might be wearing a 10. > Thus, if you overeat for a day or two...you are> really uncomfortable. It's easier to monitor your> weight in terms or 1 or 2 or 3 lbs., rather than> waiting until you are struggling

with 10 lbs or more> to lose.> > And so, after I eat too much...I realize I need to> modify my behaviour for a bit. More exercise. More> water. More protein. More vitamins. > > Just like a normal person.> > But, it took me some good, reflective time during> my pre-surgery weightloss for me to really GET that.> > > And so now, I don't feel upset about this> "dieting". I don't think of it as a diet. It's> just my life. It's the way I keep my weight under> control. Just like all of the thin chicks in the> Marina who are out walking or running every a.m.> > So...relish this time pre-surgery. Use it to find> equilibrium...to make a plan...to come to peace with> yourself. It will prepare you for the rest of the> journey. And maybe, just maybe...when you feel that> your path is taking a different direction

than> someone at one of the other Kaiser's, or not at> Kiaser at all, you will breathe deeply and realize> that this is YOUR path, and YOUR path only...and> maybe, this is exactly the direction you need to be> taking at this point.> > Food for thought.> > Robynn> 5'6"> Surgery date 6/8/05> Highest weight: 261.5> Pre-surgery: 235.5> Current: 155 (been there since January. Happy to> stay here, but wouldn't mind losing another 10 or 15> lbs.)> Size: 8> Age: 42> > jackpoint_94401 <justinfoote45th (AT) yahoo (DOT) com> wrote:> > > I'm grateful that I got someone nice who explained> it

well, just > wish > > Kaiser could stay consistant and have the process> for everyone be > === message truncated ===__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I'm glad you find it helpful. Good luck on your

journey. Don't be afraid to dig deep...it's the best

way to get the answers.

Robynn

--- Young

wrote:

> Robynn, I want to thank you for this. I put it into

> Word and then printed it out. This is exactly what I

> needed. I have been doing this process since 8/2004.

> I went to another orientation 10/05. I still need to

> lose 30 pounds to get to surgery. I have not been

> following it very well and I feel it is because of

> fear. After reading your post it made me realize

> this. I am going to start thinking in another frame

> of mind. Thank you again for waking me up. I am

> printing it out and going to hang it around my house

> and at work so I can read it often.

> Vicki from Suisun.

>

> Pamela A Marsh wrote:

> Robynn, this was wonderful and thank you

> for putting

> this into words. Love you girlie. You are truly

> beautiful on all accounts.

>

> Pam Marsh

>

> --- Robynn VanPatten wrote:

>

> > Amen, Randy. I guess I just always took the, " Ok,

> > this is MY process, and this is the route that my

> > process is taking. " I trust my medical staff to

> > know what is best for me. Yes, losing the 10

> > percent was tough. Yes, I felt a lot of stress

> > trying to make sure I wasn't up even one little

> lb.

> > the day of surgery. Yes, I felt sorry for myself

> > sometimes.

> >

> > I wound up havnig two psych exams, because

> > Richmond brought on their own specialist. Others

> > didn't have to do that. Some people had to go

> > through a more extensive lifestyles class than I

> > did, because they started seeing that people were

> > having difficulty sticking to the guidelines.

> >

> > I guess here is the way I see it: this surgery,

> > medical knowledge, anecdotal knowledge, and

> > individuals themselves are always evolving and

> > changing. As the different Kaiser programs learn

> > more, experience different things...they start

> > adding new steps to the program. I don't view it

> as

> > an impediment...rather, I view it as a sturdier

> > ladder that they are creating for us to make a

> > successful climb to success.

> >

> > Folks at SSF don't always have to lose 10%, it

> > depends upon the person. On the other hand, they

> > have a follow up class every week that's more

> > extensive. Kaiser leaves care, for the most part,

> > in the hands of doctors. THat's why there are some

> > variances from program to program. Dr. Fisher has

> > been doing this a long time, and he has some

> pretty

> > strong ideas about which patients are the most

> > successful and why. So, how can some other doctor

> > dictate another protocol to him, when he doesn't

> > feel convinced that it is the best route to take,

> > based upon his own training and experience?

> >

> > Oftentimes, the " child " part of our personalities

> > get all riled up when somebody tells us what to

> do,

> > how to do something, when to do it. We always

> think

> > we know what is best for us.

> >

> > I'm not advocating that one blindly put one's

> > health into the hands of a doctor. On the other

> > hand, if we were such flipping experts, why are we

> > MORBIDLY OBESE. The bottom line: we don't know

> > better. We just don't. And letting go, and

> > listening and learning...well, I think that's an

> > important step to take in our process. It's that

> > cutting our noses off to spite our faces attitudes

> > that got us into this position in the first place.

>

> > ( " He doesn't like me. He thinks I'm fat. I'll show

> > him...give me some cookies and ice cream so I can

> > drown my sorrows.. " ).

> >

> > I don't mean to be rude, and I absolutely think

> > that we all need to be our own advocates to make

> > sure we don't fall through the cracks, and to make

> > sure our doctors know everything they need to know

> > in order to help us.

> >

> > But, part of maturity is learning to accept that

> > we don't always have all of the answers.

> >

> > My process took a while, although I was put on a

> > fast track for certain medical reasons. But, I had

> > to lose 26.5 lbs. I got accepted at the end of

> > November, I think. I had my surgery 6/08/06 (one

> > year ago today.) It took me a little over six

> > months to get that weight off.

> >

> > But you know what? That six months was an

> > important time. I got frustrated at my lack of

> > progress, but I learned to quit blaming everybody

> > else. Instead, I realized that maybe I was

> blocking

> > my own process because of fear. Or because of

> > unresolved issues that I needed to delve into. I

> > used that time productively. I got back into a

> > steady exercise routine, and I learned to enjoy

> the

> > PROCESS. It wasn't just a means to an end...it was

> > a journey.

> >

> > I did a lot of writing, talking to others on the

> > board, listening to those who had been successful.

>

> > I listened to the folks who struggled emotionally

> > with coming to grips with their new bodies

> > afterwards. I gave it all a lot of thought.

> >

> > By the time my surgery came, I was ready to change

> > my life...with all that such change requires of

> me.

> > I'm not a military disciplinary kind of person.

> So,

> > I adjust here and there...eat more one day, cut

> back

> > the next...eat crap one meal, make sure I get

> > nutrition in me from the next one. Slack a few

> > days, make sure I diligently get back on the

> > exercise wagon the next couple of days.

> >

> > It's about balance. It's about figuring out why

> > you let yourself get so out of control in the

> first

> > place. It's about figuring out who you are, what

> > your boundaries are, what your triggers are. It's

> > about learning to love yourself. It's about

> working

> > with your support system and the people who love

> you

> > most. I asked my loved ones, " Look, what

> behaviours

> > have you seen in me that you think might

> contribute

> > to my obesity? " The answers were hard to hear, but

> > bless these people for talking turkey to me.

> >

> > I spent the time watching my skinny friends.

> > Realizing that they couldn't honestly eat anything

> > they wanted all of the time with no worries about

> > gaining. NO. There were many times when they took

> > one bite of dessert, and that was all. Or, heaven

> > forbid, they didn't order dessert because they

> were

> > full...or they had elected a fattening entree. I

> > heard things (for the first time, because i hadn't

> > paid close attention before), " hmmm...I think I'm

> > going to get a salad, because I'm wanting to have

> a

> > dessert tonight. " I noticed that they didn't scarf

> > down all of the bread. I noticed that if they did

> > eat a lot, they made a commitment to eat less the

> > next few days, and they exercised an extra amount.

> >

> > I hear people say post surgery that after the

> > initial honeymoon is over, they feel like they

> have

> > to diet every day of their lives. I think that's

> > not a very good way to look at it, because it

> makes

> > you feel resentful and deprived. The reality is

> > that post honeymoon period...you are NORMAL. And

> as

> > a normal person, without as much of an advantage

> > because maybe your tummy has healed up a bit, and

> > has stretched a bit...and maybe your intestines

> have

> > healed and are absorbing more calories..., you

> need

> > to watch what you eat. Everybody does. EVERYBODY

> > DOES>

> >

> > I used to think that relatively thin people were

> > just showing off and trying to make me feel bad

> when

> > they talked about feeling bloated, or needing to

> run

> > 5 miles...or whatever.

> >

> > But now I am a thin person, and I know what they

> > are saying. When you wear a size 8, you only need

> > to gain 3 or 4 lbs, and you might be wearing a 10.

>

> > Thus, if you overeat for a day or two...you are

> > really uncomfortable. It's easier to monitor your

> > weight in terms or 1 or 2 or 3 lbs., rather than

> > waiting until you are struggling with 10 lbs or

> more

>

=== message truncated ===