Intro

February 11, 2003

Well, after almost 3 years on this list, it's about time I posted a little

intro. I feel I know all of you intimately and you all have helped me so

much, but you haven't got a clue who I am. My name is Judi and in April it

will be 3 years since my RNY. I can't believe it's been that long! I know

many of you from other lists and I've corresponded with several of you from

time to time, but I feel I know all of you and would like to thank you all

for the info and support you've given me when you didn't even know it.

That being said, 's comment about feeling " chunky " sometimes finally

brought me out of lurkdom. I am 4'11 AND 3/4.....I call myself 5' because

if I stretch and poof my hair up, I'm there! I quit weighing myself at 250

and I know it went up from there, lost about 25 just prior to surgery

(doctors orders), and ended up losing 150 pounds. I am up a couple more at

the moment, but because I am so short, I can really identify with that

" chunky " feeling. I KNOW I'm not, but on us shrimps.......5 pounds can

" feel " like 25. I could also have written Sharon's post! What is " goal " ???

Who knows!!! I want to have a cushion for a little bounce back but I also

know myself.....5 pounds will be 50 in a heartbeat! I try to go by how I

feel but my own body image or perception of myself is so screwed up that if

the scale is up 6 pounds, which it is right now, I start feeling real

nervous, only because I don't like how it " feels " . My mind has such messed

up programming after over 40 years of dieting that the number on an

inanimate machine can make me crazy. All these mind things going on just so

I wouldn't always have to hear myself described as " the chunky one " which

eventually turned into " the fat one " . My goodness, but the mind games we

play on ourselves.

Ok, enough said for one post, I'm back to my corner.

Judi

4/24/00 Lap RNY

Dr. Wetter, Burlingame, CA

-150

Re: Intro

I am 5'1 " AND A QUARTER. I've seen charts that say at 5'0 " , 100 is correct.

5# for every inch, which would give me about 107 or so. So, at 112-115, I

am now chunky by that std. It doesn't take into consideration age or bone

structure. I have to keep shaking off that chunky thinking. I don't FEEL

chunky. OK, some days, but mostly not.

My low was 104. I bounced back as high as 118 during the stabilizing process

and parked about 112. The only change was 5 yrs postie when my staple line

disrupted and I hit 124.

Your goal wt is where you feel good. I thought 104 was fabulous, was hoping

I'd get double digits. But you know, if I'm not chunky at 112, does that

mean 99 was too skinny? TOOO SKINNY? Give me a break. But it was all n/a

as that did not happen & I am not willing to " diet " to make it happen. I'm

willing to stay within my " formula " to remain in this neighborhood, however.

Also, you're still in the honeymoon stage, so likely you are not " done " yet

and may drop lower. Or not. My own goal was 125. The actual chart I saw

showed 122-129 being right for 5'1 " .

Like you, I was taught that anything up to 120 was OK, anything beyond was

bigger than a barn. I KNOW it's not right, but it's awfully hard to shake

that programming.

Thanks,

Vitalady, Inc. T

www.vitalady.com

February 11, 2003

In a message dated 2/11/2003 3:29:04 PM Eastern Standard Time,

jnerlove@...

writes:

> Well, after almost 3 years on this list, it's about time I posted a little

> intro. I feel I know all of you intimately and you all have helped me so

> much, but you haven't got a clue who I am. My name is Judi and in April it

> will be 3 years since my RNY.

**********************************

So, what took you so long?

Welcome!

in NJ

February 11, 2003

In a message dated 2/11/2003 3:29:04 PM Eastern Standard Time,

jnerlove@...

writes:

> Well, after almost 3 years on this list, it's about time I posted a little

> intro. I feel I know all of you intimately and you all have helped me so

> much, but you haven't got a clue who I am. My name is Judi and in April it

> will be 3 years since my RNY.

**********************************

So, what took you so long?

Welcome!

in NJ

February 11, 2003

<<Ok, enough said for one post, I'm back to my corner.>>

Judy, come out of that corner, and come out fighting! Ding!

Jac

mailto:jholdaway@...

http://www.pictureitdigitaldesigns.com/

http://members.cox.net/xxxfarmpaints

February 11, 2003

<<Ok, enough said for one post, I'm back to my corner.>>

Judy, come out of that corner, and come out fighting! Ding!

Jac

mailto:jholdaway@...

http://www.pictureitdigitaldesigns.com/

http://members.cox.net/xxxfarmpaints

February 11, 2003

Hi, Sharon --

If you change the dates, your height and your weight, your story could

be my story. I'm 5'10 " , and currently weigh 155, with a BMI of about

22. Like you, I started this adventure thinking that if I got to

" overweight " I'd be happy; and, like you, before the issue of surgery

arose for me, I had been working on accepting myself as I was, fat and

all. The thing about that is that, as you say, it's more a question of

accepting the inevitable than embracing it as a wonderful thing in

one's life.

I hit the high 100s some time last spring, and that, for me, was the

lowest weight I'd been as an adult. Before the surgery, I envisioned

myself getting to about that weight and stopping, just because I had no

other vision of myself, and couldn't imagine being any smaller than

that. Surprise! I kept losing all summer and into the fall, to the

point where my GP started getting all twitchy on me, saying I should

stop losing at around 170. Didn't happen...went sailing past 170, into

the 160s (hadn't been there since late adolescence) and now the 150s

(only saw this weight once before, on my way up at about age 14).

My problem was the same as yours -- what weight should I aim for? More

specifically, what would be " normal " for me? Unfortunately, no one else

can answer that question, but I've pretty much determined that at the

moment, *this* is the weight that's normal for me. I pulled on my size

6 jeans this morning and realized: time to trade 'em in for 4s, as

they're baggy pretty much everywhere (this is after washing and

throwing them in the dryer in an attempt to shrink them a bit). Now, if

someone had told me two years ago (or even one year ago) that I'd be

wearing a size 4 in anything, except possibly a 4X, I'd have laughed in

their face. Thing is, though, that while I'm no longer losing weight, I

exercise regularly, both cardio and weights, and my hips and thighs are

getting thinner...hence the need for new jeans.

The way I see it, Sharon, it's a journey, and I don't know exactly

where I'm going to end up. If the 10-lb. rebound thing turns out to be

true, well, I think I'll be able to live with that. If I'm able to stay

here, I'll consider myself truly blessed. But one way or another, we're

exploring new territory for ourselves, all of us. Right now, I'm a lot

less concerned about finding my " ideal " weight than I am about figuring

out how to maintain a healthy balance in my life.

I think a lot more about food than I would like, and I worry about the

possibility of regaining all my old weight, just because I've never had

the experience of regaining *anything* without bouncing right back up

past where I started. This scares the bejesus out of me, and I'm having

to focus on remaining calm, not panicking every time the scale moves

slightly. Oh, and about that loose skin thing -- I just saw a picture

of myself from the summer, in which the skin on my forearm was hanging

down a lot more than it does now. By rights, it should be waaaaay

looser now, since I've lost weight since then -- but I've kept up my

exercising, and that does seem to be helping to fill things out and

shrink the skin back to a livable level. Sure, I've still got it on my

belly and butt, and my upper thighs, but I am wondering now whether, if

I keep up my exercise, that will eventually resolve itself too. I don't

expect a perfect body, but the one I seem to be getting will do quite

nicely, thank you!

Thanks for writing...and BTW, you don't sound loony at all...to me,

that is!

Take care,

I.

--

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

RNY September 19, 2001

Dr. Freeman, Ottawa General Hospital

BMI then: 43.5

BMI now: 22

-152 lbs

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February 11, 2003