Work

[Guest guest]

I really don't want to tell the people I work with what surgery I am going to

have when the time comes. I work in a very small office of about only 10

people. My boss and his wife run the office. I am not sure, since his wife

does all the paperwork, HR stuff if she will be told by insurance what I am

having done anyway. But, my question is, what did you tell your co-workers,

boss that you were having surgery for if you didn't want to spell it out, as

I don't? I was thinking of just saying I am having abdominal surgery.

Carole

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 08/25/2001 6:48:23 AM Central Daylight Time,

MsMystic1@... writes:

> ? I was thinking of just saying I am having abdominal surgery.

> Carole

>

>

This is all that my " official " paperwork said for my personnell office. My

boss was told I was having my gallbladder removed (true) and there were some

other things involved. Of course she was worried about me. This is

especially true since I was going out of state. But I told her I was fine.

I did tell her a year later after I was happy, healthy and much thinner what

the whole truth was.

Dawn

Dr. Hess, Bowling Green, OH

BPD/DS

4/27/00

www.duodenalswitch.com

267 to 165

size 22 to size 10

have made size goal

no more high blood pressure, sore feet, or dieting!

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/25/01 4:47:02 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

MsMystic1@... writes:

> I really don't want to tell the people I work with what surgery I am going

> to

> have when the time comes. I work in a very small office of about only 10

> people. My boss and his wife run the office. I am not sure, since his

> wife

> does all the paperwork, HR stuff if she will be told by insurance what I am

> having done anyway. But, my question is, what did you tell your

> co-workers,

> boss that you were having surgery for if you didn't want to spell it out,

> as

> I don't? I was thinking of just saying I am having abdominal surgery.

>

Everyone I know knows what I did...my boss and coworkers have been very

supportive. If you don't want to tell them....abdominal surgery would be

good...most won't ask for more details. The only thing I don't get when

people don't tell anyone....well a couple things...LOL 1. You're going to

start dropping ALOT of weight very quickly...the rumors will fly that you're

sick and maybe very seriously ill...NOBODY loses weight like that by diet and

excersize. 2. Are you just a very private person or are you afraid they

won't be supportive? Obviously I can't guarantee they will be so you are the

one that needs to decide. I just found my size 2 partner in the accounting

office has been my biggest supporter and really pushed me a few times when I

was going to give up. I look at it as a way to educate more people that the

surgeries are safer and better than 20 years ago...

I hope everything goes well for you. No matter what you tell them, as long

as you're comfortable with it...then that is all that matters!!!

~~* AJ *~~

Age 37 5'8''

Post op 7/24/01 Open BPD/DS

self pay - Dr Baltasar -Alcoy Spain

07/24/01 BMI 64 - 415.1

08/06/01 BMI 59 - 390.2 -24.9 lbs!!!!!!!!!!~~~~

08/16/01 BMI 58 - 387.0 -27.9 lbs!!!!!!!!!!~~~~

Check out the Bellingham Support Group

and my personal page at WWW.WLSBellingham.homestead.com

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/25/01 5:29:58 AM Pacific Daylight Time, dwkteach@...

writes:

> ? I was thinking of just saying I am having abdominal surgery.

> > Carole

> >

> >

>

> This is all that my " official " paperwork said for my personnell office. My

> boss was told I was having my gallbladder removed (true) and there were

> some

> other things involved. Of course she was worried about me. This is

> especially true since I was going out of state. But I told her I was fine.

>

> I did tell her a year later after I was happy, healthy and much thinner

> what

> the whole truth was.

>

Oh...also about insurance. Since you're a small company...they may not get

any information. I work in the accounting office of a company of 24 people.

I do all the benefits and we never get anything in regards to people having

any type of medical care. In Washington (not sure about other areas and this

is not true if the company is self insured) employees of under 50 people are

pooled together and have plans to pick from. I've never in the past year

I've been at this job seen anything personal come thru..not even when I was

fighting to get my insurance to pay. My employer wrote me a letter and that

is the only reason he knew about it...because I told him. Hope that helps.

~~* AJ *~~

Age 37 5'8''

Post op 7/24/01 Open BPD/DS

self pay - Dr Baltasar -Alcoy Spain

07/24/01 BMI 64 - 415.1

08/06/01 BMI 59 - 390.2 -24.9 lbs!!!!!!!!!!~~~~

08/16/01 BMI 58 - 387.0 -27.9 lbs!!!!!!!!!!~~~~

Check out the Bellingham Support Group

and my personal page at WWW.WLSBellingham.homestead.com

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 08/25/2001 7:37:45 AM Central Daylight Time,

lookn2bthin@... writes:

> The only thing I don't get when

> people don't tell anyone....well a couple things...LOL 1. You're going

> to

> start dropping ALOT of weight very quickly...the rumors will fly that

> you're

> sick and maybe very seriously ill...NOBODY loses weight like that by diet

> and

> excersize. 2. Are you just a very private person or are you afraid they

> won't be supportive? Obviously I can't guarantee they will be so you are

> the

> one that needs to decide.

There are several reasons I didn't tell anyone (only my husband and one

friend knew). At the time I didn't want to have " She had weight loss

surgery " , be the thing the people first thought of when I walked in the room.

Maybe this wouldn't be the case but it is the paranoia I had at the time.

Also I didn't want it to constantly be the topic of conversation around my

children (10 and 8 at the time). It broke my heart to think that they would

worry about me. Now if anyone asks how I lost the weight, I tell them. I

explained it to my kids (at that point they seemed to care less) when I was a

year out. I still am careful not to make it a constant topic while they are

around. Also I did not want to defend my decision before I had it done.

There are a lot of people that won't be supportive before hand because they

want to make sure their hands are washed clean of any bad outcome ahead of

time. Once I had lost the weight and told people, they certainly could see

and understand why I did this. It was quite obvious.

Dawn

Dr. Hess, Bowling Green, OH

BPD/DS

4/27/00

www.duodenalswitch.com

267 to 165

size 22 to size 10

have made size goal

no more high blood pressure, sore feet, or dieting!

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/25/01 8:22:09 AM Pacific Daylight Time, dwkteach@...

writes:

> Also I did not want to defend my decision before I had it done.

> There are a lot of people that won't be supportive before hand because they

> want to make sure their hands are washed clean of any bad outcome ahead of

> time.

I can understand that. I think I'm in the minority with support from what

I've learned on the lists I'm on. I only have had one person not be very

enthusiastic for me....I though there were two but she called the other night

to find out how I was...I think thats just her way...LOL Sounds like you did

the right thing in your case. My son is 11 and he was very worried when I

did the surgery, but he also knows all the things I'll be doing when I

lose...being a single parent I felt he had to be well informed and understand

what I was doing in the event something happened to me. Of couse....it all

went fine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~~* AJ *~~

Age 37 5'8''

Post op 7/24/01 Open BPD/DS

self pay - Dr Baltasar -Alcoy Spain

07/24/01 BMI 64 - 415.1

08/06/01 BMI 59 - 390.2 -24.9 lbs! -11.25 inches

08/16/01 BMI 58 - 387.0 -27.9 lbs! -15.5 inches

Check out the Bellingham Support Group

and my personal page at WWW.WLSBellingham.homestead.com

[Guest guest]

A funny, to me at least, story of my " outing: "

I had told my closest friend at school of my intentions (they were concerned

but supportive) but I only told my Principal that I was going to be

undergoing elective surgery (I knew I'd have to take a day or two for

pre-admission tests and I didn't want him to think I was taking " mental

health " days!). Unfortunately, my x-rays were problematic, necessitating

missing the last few days of school in order to undergo additional testing.

Besides which, I was frantic, not knowing what the results would be. As I

signed out, I assured Mike that I would be back to finish what had to be

done. Looking at me with a worried and concerned look on his face, he asked

me if the surgery was serious, would I be okay? Still hedging, and not

thinking, I assured him that the surgery was a " life-altering " but positive

step. Well... he looked as if he had been poleaxed! I didnt't understand,

but my friend did. " No, no, Mike! Marcia's not having a sex-change

operation! " At which point, I assured him that I'd still be coming back in

September as MRS. Kanter, not Mr. Kanter, just a little bit thinner. You

could have heard his sigh of relief across town, even though he assured me

that " Hey, I'm flexible! " The whole office were RFLOAO! And that's how my

boss learned of my plans. When I saw him last week (5 weeks post-op and

minus 45 lb.) I got a kiss and a hug, and a ver..r..r..y careful

once-over!:)

Marcia

Dr. Ren,

7/13/01...280/52

8/24...231/43

> > ? I was thinking of just saying I am having abdominal surgery.

> > > Carole

[Guest guest]

Dawn, I also have told just a handful of people. I'm a nurse, and I

love my coworkers but they all have huge opinions on all issues

medical. None of them have serious weight problems either. I dont

want to hear the horror stories, thats for sure.

I dont want to be defined by this surgery, it is only a part of who

I am. With the Rny getting all the publicity, I dont want to have to

explain that no, I dont dump, and no, I dont have to chew my food to

applesauce,etc. I dont want to continually be naming the pounds I've

lost, just dont want to be a spectator sport in general. (I was when

I lost 75lb on Phen-Fen). No one is particularly unkind, I'm just

not comfortable discussing it yet.

Once I am through adjusting to this myself, and my weight loss is

good, I may feel like telling anyone who would listen. And

certainly, if any obese friend were to bring up WLS, I would confide

my experience with them. I may become the biggest mouth about all

this on the planet. But for now, I am adjusting, and I like my

privacy. JMHO Meli

>

> There are several reasons I didn't tell anyone (only my husband and

one

> friend knew). At the time I didn't want to have " She had weight

loss

> surgery " , be the thing the people first thought of when I walked in

the room.

> Maybe this wouldn't be the case but it is the paranoia I had at

the time.

> Also I didn't want it to constantly be the topic of conversation

around my

> children (10 and 8 at the time). It broke my heart to think that

they would

> worry about me. Now if anyone asks how I lost the weight, I tell

them. I

> explained it to my kids (at that point they seemed to care less)

when I was a

> year out. I still am careful not to make it a constant topic while

they are

> around. Also I did not want to defend my decision before I had it

done.

> There are a lot of people that won't be supportive before hand

because they

> want to make sure their hands are washed clean of any bad outcome

ahead of

> time. Once I had lost the weight and told people, they certainly

could see

> and understand why I did this. It was quite obvious.

>

> Dawn

> Dr. Hess, Bowling Green, OH

> BPD/DS

> 4/27/00

> www.duodenalswitch.com

> 267 to 165

> size 22 to size 10

> have made size goal

> no more high blood pressure, sore feet, or dieting!

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Omigosh Marty!

I just finished watching a very tense and messy Bristol Nascar auto

race and this story was just the ticket to lighten me up! I laughed

so hard my stomach's hurting! Great story!

Tracey in San Diego

> A funny, to me at least, story of my " outing: "

> I had told my closest friend at school of my intentions (they were

concerned

> but supportive) but I only told my Principal that I was going to be

> undergoing elective surgery (I knew I'd have to take a day or two

for

> pre-admission tests and I didn't want him to think I was

taking " mental

> health " days!). Unfortunately, my x-rays were problematic,

necessitating

> missing the last few days of school in order to undergo additional

testing.

> Besides which, I was frantic, not knowing what the results would

be. As I

> signed out, I assured Mike that I would be back to finish what had

to be

> done. Looking at me with a worried and concerned look on his face,

he asked

> me if the surgery was serious, would I be okay? Still hedging, and

not

> thinking, I assured him that the surgery was a " life-altering " but

positive

> step. Well... he looked as if he had been poleaxed! I didnt't

understand,

> but my friend did. " No, no, Mike! Marcia's not having a sex-change

> operation! " At which point, I assured him that I'd still be coming

back in

> September as MRS. Kanter, not Mr. Kanter, just a little bit

thinner. You

> could have heard his sigh of relief across town, even though he

assured me

> that " Hey, I'm flexible! " The whole office were RFLOAO! And that's

how my

> boss learned of my plans. When I saw him last week (5 weeks post-op

and

> minus 45 lb.) I got a kiss and a hug, and a ver..r..r..y careful

> once-over!:)

> Marcia

> Dr. Ren,

> 7/13/01...280/52

> 8/24...231/43

>

>

> > > ? I was thinking of just saying I am having abdominal surgery.

> > > > Carole

[Guest guest]

Hi Everyone:

I have mentioned how supportive work has been, until yesterday, when I was

reprimanded for being absent too much. I had recently spoke to my boss, and

at that time she had reassured me that she understood and it wasn't a

problem. So, this really came out of left field. And hit me square between

the eyes. But the positive spin is that it got me in touch with alot of

emotions. I cried for a solid two hours. I had an appointment with my

therapist which was good. So, I managed to make it over there and vent to

her. I have to keep in perspective that this is just a job. But I have

always prided myself on being a valued employee, and have never in my life

been reprimanded for missing time. It was and is so embarrassing. Though I

couldn't avoid any of the time I missed, it has made her doubt whether I can

be counted on for anything. I have had most of my responsibilities taken

away from me already, I had one project that I still have, and she mentioned

maybe I couldn't handle that one either. I assured her that I could, but in

reality, can I really know that for sure? I have been working really hard

with my pain specialist to get medications that work, and help me stay pain

free so I can work. The funny thing is, is that I feel that I just about

there. And then this happened. It's really shook me up, and I'm pretty

down today. Thanks everybody for listening. I wonder if this has happened

to anyone else? How did you handle it?

Hope everyone is having a pain free day!

Robin