Uncle Timmy and Relationships

[Guest guest]

Uncle Timmy posted about significant others in our lives and how

deeply those emotions can run. Being some one who NEVER had platonic

male friends its something Ive been thinking alot about lately. I

never really dated...my husband usually just came to the house to see

me. I never did the living on my own, college partying, kinda

experimenting thing as an adolescent/young adult. Now that Im in my

40's and experiencing a new adolescence...I sometimes wonder what else

is out there. Dont get me wrong I love my husband very much...but have

found myself wondering if Ive missed out on something. Has anyone else

experienced anything like this?? If so how are you handling it??

Huggles

[Guest guest]

Hi

I dont have the same situation as you, i did live with a college roomate, i did date a bit but made the mistake of not dating enough different people, got into a bad relationship and had to come to terms that i had made a wrong choice, it was so horrible that when i ended my marriage my daughter was 2 at the time, i never wanted to date until she was in about the 8th grade.........it was her that aksed me to start dating, and then one day i did,and i have the nicest dearest husband now, who knew.................................... did i miss alot from when molly was 3 to 14, most likely i did but i dont know what because that was then and this is no w, i think even women or men without this surgery as they hit the years before or around 50 probabally start thinking and wondering the same stuff...............maybe the surgery and your changes and school just brought it on earlier for you, i dont know just thoughts crossing in my mind

colleen Diane Duenas wrote:

Uncle Timmy posted about significant others in our lives and how deeply those emotions can run. Being some one who NEVER had platonic male friends its something Ive been thinking alot about lately. I never really dated...my husband usually just came to the house to see me. I never did the living on my own, college partying, kinda experimenting thing as an adolescent/young adult. Now that Im in my 40's and experiencing a new adolescence...I sometimes wonder what else is out there. Dont get me wrong I love my husband very much...but have found myself wondering if Ive missed out on something. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?? If so how are you handling it?? Huggles

[Guest guest]

Hi

I dont have the same situation as you, i did live with a college roomate, i did date a bit but made the mistake of not dating enough different people, got into a bad relationship and had to come to terms that i had made a wrong choice, it was so horrible that when i ended my marriage my daughter was 2 at the time, i never wanted to date until she was in about the 8th grade.........it was her that aksed me to start dating, and then one day i did,and i have the nicest dearest husband now, who knew.................................... did i miss alot from when molly was 3 to 14, most likely i did but i dont know what because that was then and this is no w, i think even women or men without this surgery as they hit the years before or around 50 probabally start thinking and wondering the same stuff...............maybe the surgery and your changes and school just brought it on earlier for you, i dont know just thoughts crossing in my mind

colleen Diane Duenas wrote:

Uncle Timmy posted about significant others in our lives and how deeply those emotions can run. Being some one who NEVER had platonic male friends its something Ive been thinking alot about lately. I never really dated...my husband usually just came to the house to see me. I never did the living on my own, college partying, kinda experimenting thing as an adolescent/young adult. Now that Im in my 40's and experiencing a new adolescence...I sometimes wonder what else is out there. Dont get me wrong I love my husband very much...but have found myself wondering if Ive missed out on something. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?? If so how are you handling it?? Huggles

[Guest guest]

I don't know, ...I mean, dating is wonderful and horrible. I've dated a lot, my whole life. I've got an unusual record, in that I've never only had one date. Meaning that I've always been asked out by the same person after the end of the first date. So, as a result, I've frequently gone from relationship to relationship...even when I don't really want to...even when I just want to casually date.

It's fun, but it can also be exhausting. Fun to dress up and prettify and get out there. Fun to have someone open all doors and tell you how pretty you look. Fun to see how much attention you can attract...how many guys want you. It's all good for the ego.

But, I can tell you that I have many, many beautiful, smart, intelligent, successful, skinny (always have been, always will be) friends who have had a horrible time in the dating world. Whether they have personality quirks I'm not really picking up on...well, maybe. But, i don't think so. I think it's hard. I think a lot of men our age are looking for women in their 20s.

I think there are a lot of jerks out there. Or bitter divorcees who are dead set against getting married again. Or sex freaks who want to spread their seed and that's about it. You have to have your whits about you. You have to have a great bullshit detector, or you can get lied to, abused, disabused, hurt...and left lonely.

I didn't get married until I was 33. I had eight serious relationships before I got married (starting at age 16). Most of them were between 2 and three years. I probably had about ten three to eight month relationships. And I had a few couple of month flings.

You wind up with this list of qualities that can't possibly co-exist in one person. I wish my guys were funny and super masculine like Bob. The sensitive musican hot lover like Jeff. The responsible but romantic, almost fatherly . The adventurous, wild, outgoing and and crazy Terry. The amazingly intelligent, brilliant Dusan. The clever, restless, comfortable and considerate Steve. The sexy, troubled, exotic and mysterious and sophisticated Olivier. You know? These qualities are not qualities that can really co-exist in one person. So you wind up feeling vaguely discontented all of the time. Why isn't Steve more mysterious and passionate? Why isn't Olivier more open and direct? Why can't Dusan make me laugh? Let's not even get into the sex issue...they all have tricks and gifts that you miss afterwards. Because let's face it...sex with the same person for years and years gets a

little boring after awhile, no matter how talented they are.

So, the grass is greener syndrome is very very easy to get caught up in. You want what you don't have. And then you don't have what you used to have...and you miss that. It's a dangerous game.

Or, worse...you don't really have any choices anymore (you think you have a million when you are married...but in part, that's because you are safe. A target for men who don't really want to commit, they just want to have fun with you...and you are safe because some other guy (your hubby) is taking care of the commitment part.

It's quite complicated.

What I suggest is that you invest some new spark into your relationship. Get your husband to take salsa lessons with you, and go out and do the salsa club circuit for a while. Make a real date night...where you get dressed up, and he has to pick you up at the front door and act like he's dating you. Start sending him sexy e-mails...get rid of the kids...experiment a bit.

It's so easy to get bored with the one who is at hand, and to wonder about what could be. Yes, I met Olivier while married to Steve, and wound up falling for him and screwing my life up. And now I have a taste of freedom, and have this new who has me swooning...but part of me wonders whether I'll still wind up back with Steve. Steve's giving me leeway right now. He doesn't want to date anybody (as he said, "what kind of woman would want to date me just for now when they know I'm in love with you and there is no possible future? I mean a woman who would do that is not somebody I'd want to spend time with, anyway?"), but I do. I want to explore this thing with eric...and yet I'm afraid that if I come completely out in the open with Steve...I'll lose him forever...and I worry that I'll really regret that someday.

It's a confusing thing.

So...what I did for years when there was no passion left between us is that I flirted like a maniac with a million other guys, but kept it safe and innocent enough. That worked well until the dreaded Olivier came across my path, and I was really swept away. But, had I drawn some boundaries earlier, it might have stayed a fun little distraction, with no real infidelity happening. (I didn't sleep with him during the marriage...or afterwards, for that matter...but I fell for him like a crazy woman, and that, in my mind, is also infidelity.)

Anyway...the ramblings of a crazy woman. The point is...I've had lots of men, lots of opportunities, and I'm still half-way restless, seeking romance...and half-way scared that I'm going to lose the foundation of my life for the past 12 years.

It's a gamble. A big one. So, try to proceed with caution.

Big hug,

RobynnColleen Garner wrote:

Hi

I dont have the same situation as you, i did live with a college roomate, i did date a bit but made the mistake of not dating enough different people, got into a bad relationship and had to come to terms that i had made a wrong choice, it was so horrible that when i ended my marriage my daughter was 2 at the time, i never wanted to date until she was in about the 8th grade.........it was her that aksed me to start dating, and then one day i did,and i have the nicest dearest husband now, who knew.................................... did i miss alot from when molly was 3 to 14, most likely i did but i dont know what because that was then and this is no w, i think even women or men without this surgery as they hit the years before or around 50 probabally start thinking and wondering the same stuff...............maybe the surgery and your changes and school just brought it on earlier for you, i dont know just thoughts crossing in my mind

colleen Diane Duenas wrote:

Uncle Timmy posted about significant others in our lives and how deeply those emotions can run. Being some one who NEVER had platonic male friends its something Ive been thinking alot about lately. I never really dated...my husband usually just came to the house to see me. I never did the living on my own, college partying, kinda experimenting thing as an adolescent/young adult. Now that Im in my 40's and experiencing a new adolescence...I sometimes wonder what else is out there. Dont get me wrong I love my husband very much...but have found myself wondering if Ive missed out on something. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?? If so how are you handling it?? Huggles

[Guest guest]

I don't know, ...I mean, dating is wonderful and horrible. I've dated a lot, my whole life. I've got an unusual record, in that I've never only had one date. Meaning that I've always been asked out by the same person after the end of the first date. So, as a result, I've frequently gone from relationship to relationship...even when I don't really want to...even when I just want to casually date.

It's fun, but it can also be exhausting. Fun to dress up and prettify and get out there. Fun to have someone open all doors and tell you how pretty you look. Fun to see how much attention you can attract...how many guys want you. It's all good for the ego.

But, I can tell you that I have many, many beautiful, smart, intelligent, successful, skinny (always have been, always will be) friends who have had a horrible time in the dating world. Whether they have personality quirks I'm not really picking up on...well, maybe. But, i don't think so. I think it's hard. I think a lot of men our age are looking for women in their 20s.

I think there are a lot of jerks out there. Or bitter divorcees who are dead set against getting married again. Or sex freaks who want to spread their seed and that's about it. You have to have your whits about you. You have to have a great bullshit detector, or you can get lied to, abused, disabused, hurt...and left lonely.

I didn't get married until I was 33. I had eight serious relationships before I got married (starting at age 16). Most of them were between 2 and three years. I probably had about ten three to eight month relationships. And I had a few couple of month flings.

You wind up with this list of qualities that can't possibly co-exist in one person. I wish my guys were funny and super masculine like Bob. The sensitive musican hot lover like Jeff. The responsible but romantic, almost fatherly . The adventurous, wild, outgoing and and crazy Terry. The amazingly intelligent, brilliant Dusan. The clever, restless, comfortable and considerate Steve. The sexy, troubled, exotic and mysterious and sophisticated Olivier. You know? These qualities are not qualities that can really co-exist in one person. So you wind up feeling vaguely discontented all of the time. Why isn't Steve more mysterious and passionate? Why isn't Olivier more open and direct? Why can't Dusan make me laugh? Let's not even get into the sex issue...they all have tricks and gifts that you miss afterwards. Because let's face it...sex with the same person for years and years gets a

little boring after awhile, no matter how talented they are.

So, the grass is greener syndrome is very very easy to get caught up in. You want what you don't have. And then you don't have what you used to have...and you miss that. It's a dangerous game.

Or, worse...you don't really have any choices anymore (you think you have a million when you are married...but in part, that's because you are safe. A target for men who don't really want to commit, they just want to have fun with you...and you are safe because some other guy (your hubby) is taking care of the commitment part.

It's quite complicated.

What I suggest is that you invest some new spark into your relationship. Get your husband to take salsa lessons with you, and go out and do the salsa club circuit for a while. Make a real date night...where you get dressed up, and he has to pick you up at the front door and act like he's dating you. Start sending him sexy e-mails...get rid of the kids...experiment a bit.

It's so easy to get bored with the one who is at hand, and to wonder about what could be. Yes, I met Olivier while married to Steve, and wound up falling for him and screwing my life up. And now I have a taste of freedom, and have this new who has me swooning...but part of me wonders whether I'll still wind up back with Steve. Steve's giving me leeway right now. He doesn't want to date anybody (as he said, "what kind of woman would want to date me just for now when they know I'm in love with you and there is no possible future? I mean a woman who would do that is not somebody I'd want to spend time with, anyway?"), but I do. I want to explore this thing with eric...and yet I'm afraid that if I come completely out in the open with Steve...I'll lose him forever...and I worry that I'll really regret that someday.

It's a confusing thing.

So...what I did for years when there was no passion left between us is that I flirted like a maniac with a million other guys, but kept it safe and innocent enough. That worked well until the dreaded Olivier came across my path, and I was really swept away. But, had I drawn some boundaries earlier, it might have stayed a fun little distraction, with no real infidelity happening. (I didn't sleep with him during the marriage...or afterwards, for that matter...but I fell for him like a crazy woman, and that, in my mind, is also infidelity.)

Anyway...the ramblings of a crazy woman. The point is...I've had lots of men, lots of opportunities, and I'm still half-way restless, seeking romance...and half-way scared that I'm going to lose the foundation of my life for the past 12 years.

It's a gamble. A big one. So, try to proceed with caution.

Big hug,

RobynnColleen Garner wrote:

Hi

I dont have the same situation as you, i did live with a college roomate, i did date a bit but made the mistake of not dating enough different people, got into a bad relationship and had to come to terms that i had made a wrong choice, it was so horrible that when i ended my marriage my daughter was 2 at the time, i never wanted to date until she was in about the 8th grade.........it was her that aksed me to start dating, and then one day i did,and i have the nicest dearest husband now, who knew.................................... did i miss alot from when molly was 3 to 14, most likely i did but i dont know what because that was then and this is no w, i think even women or men without this surgery as they hit the years before or around 50 probabally start thinking and wondering the same stuff...............maybe the surgery and your changes and school just brought it on earlier for you, i dont know just thoughts crossing in my mind

colleen Diane Duenas wrote:

Uncle Timmy posted about significant others in our lives and how deeply those emotions can run. Being some one who NEVER had platonic male friends its something Ive been thinking alot about lately. I never really dated...my husband usually just came to the house to see me. I never did the living on my own, college partying, kinda experimenting thing as an adolescent/young adult. Now that Im in my 40's and experiencing a new adolescence...I sometimes wonder what else is out there. Dont get me wrong I love my husband very much...but have found myself wondering if Ive missed out on something. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?? If so how are you handling it?? Huggles

[Guest guest]

I admire your courage and trust in us . I'm sure you aren't the

first or only one of us to face thoughts of " the grass is greener "

after achieving a level of recovery along this journey.

I'm also (as most of you are sick of hearing) going through remedial

adolecense. Being fat from birth, and never having many friends, I

never went through the dating stage either. That's why I feel like

I'm 47 going on 17. I married for all the wrong reasons, among them

the fact that she was the first woman who would have sex with me.

Pathetic, I know, but there you are. Not having practiced

dating/socializing skills to a great extent, I have to be extremely

careful not to misinterpret normal, innocent things like acceptance,

compassion, and empathy for something deeper. I know what a rush it

is, to have someone who's attractive, intelligent, and interesting

express any kind of interest in you. It's been a rarity in my life

too.

That was the " Epiphany Moment " I had in Tahoe. (As I've posted ad

nausium, I hit it off with a wonderful woman at a mutual friend's

wedding.) Just the possibility of an alternate universe, in which

which such a woman could be interested in me, had me walking on air.

So believe me , I know exactly how you feel. I've recently had

to accept that nothing is going to develop (She lives in Arizona, and

we've exchanged exactly one email each way.) and that's a bummer. I

seem destined to always be the platonic male friend. Don't get me

wrong, that can be rewarding too. I'm open (in the abstract) to

something more, a " next time " , after being divorced for over a decade,

but on a practical, do something about it level, well, it's like

hoping to win the lottery, but never buying a ticket.

Only you know what's in your heart of hearts of course, and you have

to do what you think is best for you. If something does happen, and

you " cross the line " don't torture yourself with regrets. You can't

undo what's done. You have to acknowledge that it happened and find a

way to weave that thread into the rich tapestry of your life, without

letting it unravel the rest of the picture.

Temptations of all kinds have always been out there, but now that

we've shed our body armor and become open to the seemimgly miraculous

experience of making a genuine emotional connection with another human

being, those temptations are going to be even more scary and confusing

because now they might be real possibilities instead of abstract

fantasies.

As with all of the other issues we encounter along this journey, no

one has any magic answers. God knows I'm just making this (life) up

as I go! Anyone hoping to get past succumbing to temptation probably

has to start with forgiving themselves. I know how hard that is. I

can forgive someone else almost anything, but forgiving myself for

years of abusing myself with food, for all the things I've denied

myself, for leading a life deferred, and for being a mere spectator in

my own life, God that's hard.

Be kind to yourselves!

Uncle Timmy -236

> Uncle Timmy posted about significant others in our lives and how

> deeply those emotions can run. Being some one who NEVER had platonic

> male friends its something Ive been thinking alot about lately. I

> never really dated...my husband usually just came to the house to

see

> me. I never did the living on my own, college partying, kinda

> experimenting thing as an adolescent/young adult. Now that Im in my

> 40's and experiencing a new adolescence...I sometimes wonder what

else

> is out there. Dont get me wrong I love my husband very much...but

have

> found myself wondering if Ive missed out on something. Has anyone

else

> experienced anything like this?? If so how are you handling it??

>

> Huggles

[Guest guest]

"Living a life deferred". What a great and poignant line, Tim. In a way, we have all done that, haven't we? While I've always lived life up...just my personality...there have been countless things in my life that I have stopped short of doing because "I'm too fat to do that..." I'm shy sometimes about trying new things because of it. Usually athletic things.

Sure, I finally push myself to do a lot of them...but life has frequently been deferred...waiting until I'm thinner.

One of the reasons that Olivier and I didn't work out (other than the fact that hes got some real issues...as do I. Sigh.) Is that I kept deferring seeing him. We had seen each other several times before, but after I separated, when he was going through some tough times...I should have hopped on a plane. I offered, but he declined (more in a "well, it wouldn't be very fun for you, I'm spending all of my time at the hospital with my parents."). But, i should have just done it. The fact is, we let a year and two months go by without seeing each other, and that time just destroyed us. ANd what stopped me? I wanted to lose weight first. I wanted to lose a couple of freaking pounds first. And now, there will always be a part of me wondering whether I deferred myself out of a relationship altogether.

The point is...there is always something that we put off in our life. The death of my sweet friend , a mere 41 years old, has brought home the reality that life may be very fleeting...and too much life deferred can become an irreparable harm that we exact upon ourselves.

So you pre-ops out there! This is for you: no more. get it together. Do this for you! It's time. Don't waste your life. Don't defer your life. Get moving, get exercising, get analyzing, get dieting...get that damned 10 percent off...go for it like a bat out of hell. Make it your priority. And live your life.

And for those of us who are post-op, let's just quit it with the life deferral thing. Let's just get started. Let's get this freaking party started.

, go get your toy and get some extra batteries. I'm going to take my salsa lessons and get my ass on a plane to France (or let him come here) to get this thing going.

Let's get going.

Time is a wasting.

RobynnUncle Timmy wrote:

I admire your courage and trust in us . I'm sure you aren't the first or only one of us to face thoughts of "the grass is greener" after achieving a level of recovery along this journey.I'm also (as most of you are sick of hearing) going through remedial adolecense. Being fat from birth, and never having many friends, I never went through the dating stage either. That's why I feel like I'm 47 going on 17. I married for all the wrong reasons, among them the fact that she was the first woman who would have sex with me. Pathetic, I know, but there you are. Not having practiced dating/socializing skills to a great extent, I have to be extremely careful not to misinterpret normal, innocent things like acceptance, compassion, and empathy for something deeper. I know what a rush it is, to

have someone who's attractive, intelligent, and interesting express any kind of interest in you. It's been a rarity in my life too. That was the "Epiphany Moment" I had in Tahoe. (As I've posted ad nausium, I hit it off with a wonderful woman at a mutual friend's wedding.) Just the possibility of an alternate universe, in which which such a woman could be interested in me, had me walking on air. So believe me , I know exactly how you feel. I've recently had to accept that nothing is going to develop (She lives in Arizona, and we've exchanged exactly one email each way.) and that's a bummer. I seem destined to always be the platonic male friend. Don't get me wrong, that can be rewarding too. I'm open (in the abstract) to something more, a "next time", after being divorced for over a decade, but on a practical, do something about it level, well, it's like hoping to win the lottery,

but never buying a ticket.Only you know what's in your heart of hearts of course, and you have to do what you think is best for you. If something does happen, and you "cross the line" don't torture yourself with regrets. You can't undo what's done. You have to acknowledge that it happened and find a way to weave that thread into the rich tapestry of your life, without letting it unravel the rest of the picture.Temptations of all kinds have always been out there, but now that we've shed our body armor and become open to the seemimgly miraculous experience of making a genuine emotional connection with another human being, those temptations are going to be even more scary and confusing because now they might be real possibilities instead of abstract fantasies. As with all of the other issues we encounter along this journey, no one has any magic answers. God knows I'm just

making this (life) up as I go! Anyone hoping to get past succumbing to temptation probably has to start with forgiving themselves. I know how hard that is. I can forgive someone else almost anything, but forgiving myself for years of abusing myself with food, for all the things I've denied myself, for leading a life deferred, and for being a mere spectator in my own life, God that's hard.Be kind to yourselves!Uncle Timmy -236 > Uncle Timmy posted about significant others in our lives and how > deeply those emotions can run. Being some one who NEVER had platonic > male friends its something Ive been thinking alot about lately. I > never really dated...my husband usually just came to the house to see > me. I never did the

living on my own, college partying, kinda > experimenting thing as an adolescent/young adult. Now that Im in my > 40's and experiencing a new adolescence...I sometimes wonder what else > is out there. Dont get me wrong I love my husband very much...but have > found myself wondering if Ive missed out on something. Has anyone else > experienced anything like this?? If so how are you handling it?? > > Huggles

[Guest guest]

"Living a life deferred". What a great and poignant line, Tim. In a way, we have all done that, haven't we? While I've always lived life up...just my personality...there have been countless things in my life that I have stopped short of doing because "I'm too fat to do that..." I'm shy sometimes about trying new things because of it. Usually athletic things.

Sure, I finally push myself to do a lot of them...but life has frequently been deferred...waiting until I'm thinner.

One of the reasons that Olivier and I didn't work out (other than the fact that hes got some real issues...as do I. Sigh.) Is that I kept deferring seeing him. We had seen each other several times before, but after I separated, when he was going through some tough times...I should have hopped on a plane. I offered, but he declined (more in a "well, it wouldn't be very fun for you, I'm spending all of my time at the hospital with my parents."). But, i should have just done it. The fact is, we let a year and two months go by without seeing each other, and that time just destroyed us. ANd what stopped me? I wanted to lose weight first. I wanted to lose a couple of freaking pounds first. And now, there will always be a part of me wondering whether I deferred myself out of a relationship altogether.

The point is...there is always something that we put off in our life. The death of my sweet friend , a mere 41 years old, has brought home the reality that life may be very fleeting...and too much life deferred can become an irreparable harm that we exact upon ourselves.

So you pre-ops out there! This is for you: no more. get it together. Do this for you! It's time. Don't waste your life. Don't defer your life. Get moving, get exercising, get analyzing, get dieting...get that damned 10 percent off...go for it like a bat out of hell. Make it your priority. And live your life.

And for those of us who are post-op, let's just quit it with the life deferral thing. Let's just get started. Let's get this freaking party started.

, go get your toy and get some extra batteries. I'm going to take my salsa lessons and get my ass on a plane to France (or let him come here) to get this thing going.

Let's get going.

Time is a wasting.

RobynnUncle Timmy wrote:

I admire your courage and trust in us . I'm sure you aren't the first or only one of us to face thoughts of "the grass is greener" after achieving a level of recovery along this journey.I'm also (as most of you are sick of hearing) going through remedial adolecense. Being fat from birth, and never having many friends, I never went through the dating stage either. That's why I feel like I'm 47 going on 17. I married for all the wrong reasons, among them the fact that she was the first woman who would have sex with me. Pathetic, I know, but there you are. Not having practiced dating/socializing skills to a great extent, I have to be extremely careful not to misinterpret normal, innocent things like acceptance, compassion, and empathy for something deeper. I know what a rush it is, to

have someone who's attractive, intelligent, and interesting express any kind of interest in you. It's been a rarity in my life too. That was the "Epiphany Moment" I had in Tahoe. (As I've posted ad nausium, I hit it off with a wonderful woman at a mutual friend's wedding.) Just the possibility of an alternate universe, in which which such a woman could be interested in me, had me walking on air. So believe me , I know exactly how you feel. I've recently had to accept that nothing is going to develop (She lives in Arizona, and we've exchanged exactly one email each way.) and that's a bummer. I seem destined to always be the platonic male friend. Don't get me wrong, that can be rewarding too. I'm open (in the abstract) to something more, a "next time", after being divorced for over a decade, but on a practical, do something about it level, well, it's like hoping to win the lottery,

but never buying a ticket.Only you know what's in your heart of hearts of course, and you have to do what you think is best for you. If something does happen, and you "cross the line" don't torture yourself with regrets. You can't undo what's done. You have to acknowledge that it happened and find a way to weave that thread into the rich tapestry of your life, without letting it unravel the rest of the picture.Temptations of all kinds have always been out there, but now that we've shed our body armor and become open to the seemimgly miraculous experience of making a genuine emotional connection with another human being, those temptations are going to be even more scary and confusing because now they might be real possibilities instead of abstract fantasies. As with all of the other issues we encounter along this journey, no one has any magic answers. God knows I'm just

making this (life) up as I go! Anyone hoping to get past succumbing to temptation probably has to start with forgiving themselves. I know how hard that is. I can forgive someone else almost anything, but forgiving myself for years of abusing myself with food, for all the things I've denied myself, for leading a life deferred, and for being a mere spectator in my own life, God that's hard.Be kind to yourselves!Uncle Timmy -236 > Uncle Timmy posted about significant others in our lives and how > deeply those emotions can run. Being some one who NEVER had platonic > male friends its something Ive been thinking alot about lately. I > never really dated...my husband usually just came to the house to see > me. I never did the

living on my own, college partying, kinda > experimenting thing as an adolescent/young adult. Now that Im in my > 40's and experiencing a new adolescence...I sometimes wonder what else > is out there. Dont get me wrong I love my husband very much...but have > found myself wondering if Ive missed out on something. Has anyone else > experienced anything like this?? If so how are you handling it?? > > Huggles

[Guest guest]

BLUSH!

Thank you for your kind words, ma petite merle. Bisou!

For a lot of reasons (most of which we've shared) I've been

regretting that aspect of my life/personality a lot lately. Too

much time alone with myself, recovering from " Fillet Day " and

playing too many rounds of " Alternative Relationship Universes. "

(You'll understand, when you watch " Bleep. " ) I also play a career

version, which is just as destructive.

I was discussing things with Suzy G (Case Manager at SSF) and for

some insane reason, she asked me when I was going to write a book.

I told her never, but that I did have the perfect title: " When I'm

Thin . . . A Life Deferred. " It perfectly captures how so many of

us have lived life:

When I'm thin I'll travel.

When I'm thin I'll get a better job.

When I'm thin I'll find someone to love.

When I'm thin I'll love myself.

When I'm thin I'll be happy.

How many things can list? I have hundreds.

Uncle Timmy -236

> > Uncle Timmy posted about significant others in our lives and how

> > deeply those emotions can run. Being some one who NEVER had

platonic

> > male friends its something Ive been thinking alot about lately.

I

> > never really dated...my husband usually just came to the house

to

> see

> > me. I never did the living on my own, college partying, kinda

> > experimenting thing as an adolescent/young adult. Now that Im in

my

> > 40's and experiencing a new adolescence...I sometimes wonder

what

> else

> > is out there. Dont get me wrong I love my husband very

much...but

> have

> > found myself wondering if Ive missed out on something. Has

anyone

> else

> > experienced anything like this?? If so how are you handling it??

> >

> > Huggles

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

>

[Guest guest]

Tonight it is very hot in vacaville, i think it was 98 when i got home at like 4:30, and its still near 75 or 80, i played in our pool actually had a nap on my floatie for about 45 minutes. My husband says he likes to watch me relax on my floatie, I tell him that when i am on the floatie and looking up at the trees and clouds and blue sky, i feel like i am floating on a cloud in the sky............. then later he showed me how to do the vacumn to the pool, and we looked at the deck he made and admired it and all the work it took to put up this doughboy pool, we really wanted a pool but could not pay 30-45,000 for an inground pool but we have all the affects of a pool now with this one. It was hot in the house tonight and we went to bed early, my stepson lives with us but he had been at his moms for the weekend and unepectantly came home, he had me out in the front yard showing me new parts to his skateboard he got, he was so impressed with the speed of it, he kept

insisting that i try it, i kept saying no no, i weigh to much and i will damage it, he was laughing saying i was a lunatic, i was so serous though because i knew i would break it, i forgot that was the old Colleen, the rebirthed Colleen can stand on the skate board if she wants ( to un coordinated to really use it though), it was a great moment and my stepson said Colleen, your like so not fat anymore, your like kind of getting thin,,,,,,,,,,totally cool moment. After we went to bed my daughter called and i was too tired to get up and go to the phone and then my stepson said Molly had invited him over to her house to spend the night, so she came and got him and he left, then i could not get back to sleep, so guess what, a new Colleen thing i went skinny dipping in the pool in the moonlight

very fun, and refreshing and the old colleen would of never done that........................and to get into the pool you have to walk up two decks and when i was taking my nightie off i was standing at a level if anyone in the park were out they could kind of see me, never in a million years would the old colleen chanced that, but tonight i wouldnt and didnt give a rats *ss about that, just moving in the water and watching the rings of water rippling and the illumination of the moonlight was so fun.....................

then i came in here and read about the purple bunny thing robynn mentioned and now i feel like i have to go reasearch that thing.............gosh am i ever going to get to sleep tonight ? geez LOL

ColleenUncle Timmy wrote:

BLUSH!Thank you for your kind words, ma petite merle. Bisou!For a lot of reasons (most of which we've shared) I've been regretting that aspect of my life/personality a lot lately. Too much time alone with myself, recovering from "Fillet Day" and playing too many rounds of "Alternative Relationship Universes." (You'll understand, when you watch "Bleep.") I also play a career version, which is just as destructive. I was discussing things with Suzy G (Case Manager at SSF) and for some insane reason, she asked me when I was going to write a book. I told her never, but that I did have the perfect title: "When I'm Thin . . . A Life Deferred." It perfectly captures how so many of us have lived life: When I'm thin I'll travel.When I'm thin I'll get a better job.When I'm thin I'll find someone to love.When I'm thin

I'll love myself.When I'm thin I'll be happy.How many things can list? I have hundreds.Uncle Timmy -236> > Uncle Timmy posted about significant others in our lives and how > > deeply those emotions can run. Being some one who NEVER had platonic > > male friends its something Ive been thinking alot about lately. I > > never really dated...my husband usually just came to the house to > see > >

me. I never did the living on my own, college partying, kinda > > experimenting thing as an adolescent/young adult. Now that Im in my > > 40's and experiencing a new adolescence...I sometimes wonder what > else > > is out there. Dont get me wrong I love my husband very much...but > have > > found myself wondering if Ive missed out on something. Has anyone > else > > experienced anything like this?? If so how are you handling it?? > > > > Huggles> > > > > > --------------------------------->

[Guest guest]

Hurrah to the new Colleen. The REAL Colleen, that has emerged from under the constraints of self-imposed inhibitions. I'm telling you...the bunny thing is my new best friend!!

RobynnColleen Garner wrote:

Tonight it is very hot in vacaville, i think it was 98 when i got home at like 4:30, and its still near 75 or 80, i played in our pool actually had a nap on my floatie for about 45 minutes. My husband says he likes to watch me relax on my floatie, I tell him that when i am on the floatie and looking up at the trees and clouds and blue sky, i feel like i am floating on a cloud in the sky............. then later he showed me how to do the vacumn to the pool, and we looked at the deck he made and admired it and all the work it took to put up this doughboy pool, we really wanted a pool but could not pay 30-45,000 for an inground pool but we have all the affects of a pool now with this one. It was hot in the house tonight and we went to bed early, my stepson lives with us but he had been at his moms for the weekend and unepectantly came home, he had me out in the front yard showing me new parts to his skateboard he got, he was so impressed with the speed of it, he kept

insisting that i try it, i kept saying no no, i weigh to much and i will damage it, he was laughing saying i was a lunatic, i was so serous though because i knew i would break it, i forgot that was the old Colleen, the rebirthed Colleen can stand on the skate board if she wants ( to un coordinated to really use it though), it was a great moment and my stepson said Colleen, your like so not fat anymore, your like kind of getting thin,,,,,,,,,,totally cool moment. After we went to bed my daughter called and i was too tired to get up and go to the phone and then my stepson said Molly had invited him over to her house to spend the night, so she came and got him and he left, then i could not get back to sleep, so guess what, a new Colleen thing i went skinny dipping in the pool in the moonlight

very fun, and refreshing and the old colleen would of never done that........................and to get into the pool you have to walk up two decks and when i was taking my nightie off i was standing at a level if anyone in the park were out they could kind of see me, never in a million years would the old colleen chanced that, but tonight i wouldnt and didnt give a rats *ss about that, just moving in the water and watching the rings of water rippling and the illumination of the moonlight was so fun.....................

then i came in here and read about the purple bunny thing robynn mentioned and now i feel like i have to go reasearch that thing.............gosh am i ever going to get to sleep tonight ? geez LOL

ColleenUncle Timmy wrote:

BLUSH!Thank you for your kind words, ma petite merle. Bisou!For a lot of reasons (most of which we've shared) I've been regretting that aspect of my life/personality a lot lately. Too much time alone with myself, recovering from "Fillet Day" and playing too many rounds of "Alternative Relationship Universes." (You'll understand, when you watch "Bleep.") I also play a career version, which is just as destructive. I was discussing things with Suzy G (Case Manager at SSF) and for some insane reason, she asked me when I was going to write a book. I told her never, but that I did have the perfect title: "When I'm Thin . . . A Life Deferred." It perfectly captures how so many of us have lived life: When I'm thin I'll travel.When I'm thin I'll get a better job.When I'm thin I'll find someone to love.When I'm thin

I'll love myself.When I'm thin I'll be happy.How many things can list? I have hundreds.Uncle Timmy -236> > Uncle Timmy posted about significant others in our lives and how > > deeply those emotions can run. Being some one who NEVER had platonic > > male friends its something Ive been thinking alot about lately. I > > never really dated...my husband usually just came to the house to > see > >

me. I never did the living on my own, college partying, kinda > > experimenting thing as an adolescent/young adult. Now that Im in my > > 40's and experiencing a new adolescence...I sometimes wonder what > else > > is out there. Dont get me wrong I love my husband very much...but > have > > found myself wondering if Ive missed out on something. Has anyone > else > > experienced anything like this?? If so how are you handling it?? > > > > Huggles> > > > > > --------------------------------->

[Guest guest]

I'm guessing a lot of us are going to be missing some sleep tonight!

(LOL!)

Uncle Timmy -236

> > > Uncle Timmy posted about significant others in our lives and

how

> > > deeply those emotions can run. Being some one who NEVER had

> platonic

> > > male friends its something Ive been thinking alot about

lately.

> I

> > > never really dated...my husband usually just came to the house

> to

> > see

> > > me. I never did the living on my own, college partying, kinda

> > > experimenting thing as an adolescent/young adult. Now that Im

in

> my

> > > 40's and experiencing a new adolescence...I sometimes wonder

> what

> > else

> > > is out there. Dont get me wrong I love my husband very

> much...but

> > have

> > > found myself wondering if Ive missed out on something. Has

> anyone

> > else

> > > experienced anything like this?? If so how are you handling

it??

> > >

> > > Huggles

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> >

[Guest guest]

I'm guessing a lot of us are going to be missing some sleep tonight!

(LOL!)

Uncle Timmy -236

> > > Uncle Timmy posted about significant others in our lives and

how

> > > deeply those emotions can run. Being some one who NEVER had

> platonic

> > > male friends its something Ive been thinking alot about

lately.

> I

> > > never really dated...my husband usually just came to the house

> to

> > see

> > > me. I never did the living on my own, college partying, kinda

> > > experimenting thing as an adolescent/young adult. Now that Im

in

> my

> > > 40's and experiencing a new adolescence...I sometimes wonder

> what

> > else

> > > is out there. Dont get me wrong I love my husband very

> much...but

> > have

> > > found myself wondering if Ive missed out on something. Has

> anyone

> > else

> > > experienced anything like this?? If so how are you handling

it??

> > >

> > > Huggles

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> >

[Guest guest]

Skinnydipping is great, we used to do it when we had a pool. In fact it's

the only thing I miss about having the pool, we filled it in a couple of

years ago because we weren't using it enough. Thank God we have central

air, it got pretty hot here in Sacramento too, though I don't think it got

quite as hot as it did there. LaWanda At 10:41 PM 6/13/05, you wrote:

>Tonight it is very hot in vacaville, i think it was 98 when i got home at

>like 4:30, and its still near 75 or 80, i played in our pool actually had

>a nap on my floatie for about 45 minutes. My husband says he likes to

>watch me relax on my floatie, I tell him that when i am on the floatie

>and looking up at the trees and clouds and blue sky, i feel like i am

>floating on a cloud in the sky............. then later he showed me how to

>do the vacumn to the pool, and we looked at the deck he made and admired

>it and all the work it took to put up this doughboy pool, we really wanted

>a pool but could not pay 30-45,000 for an inground pool but we have all

>the affects of a pool now with this one. It was hot in the house tonight

>and we went to bed early, my stepson lives with us but he had been at his

>moms for the weekend and unepectantly came home, he had me out in the

>front yard showing me new parts to his skateboard he got, he was so

>impressed with the speed of it, he kept insisting that i try it, i kept

>saying no no, i weigh to much and i will damage it, he was laughing saying

>i was a lunatic, i was so serous though because i knew i would break it, i

>forgot that was the old Colleen, the rebirthed Colleen can stand on the

>skate board if she wants ( to un coordinated to really use it though), it

>was a great moment and my stepson said Colleen, your like so not fat

>anymore, your like kind of getting thin,,,,,,,,,,totally cool moment.

>After we went to bed my daughter called and i was too tired to get up and

>go to the phone and then my stepson said Molly had invited him over to her

>house to spend the night, so she came and got him and he left, then i

>could not get back to sleep, so guess what, a new Colleen thing i went

>skinny dipping in the pool in the moonlight

>very fun, and refreshing and the old colleen would of never done

>that........................and to get into the pool you have to walk up

>two decks and when i was taking my nightie off i was standing at a level

>if anyone in the park were out they could kind of see me, never in a

>million years would the old colleen chanced that, but tonight i wouldnt

>and didnt give a rats *ss about that, just moving in the water and

>watching the rings of water rippling and the illumination of the moonlight

>was so fun.....................

>then i came in here and read about the purple bunny thing robynn mentioned

>and now i feel like i have to go reasearch that thing.............gosh am

>i ever going to get to sleep tonight ? geez LOL

>Colleen

>

>Uncle Timmy n01un0@...> wrote:

>BLUSH!

>Thank you for your kind words, ma petite merle. Bisou!

>

>For a lot of reasons (most of which we've shared) I've been

>regretting that aspect of my life/personality a lot lately. Too

>much time alone with myself, recovering from " Fillet Day " and

>playing too many rounds of " Alternative Relationship Universes. "

>(You'll understand, when you watch " Bleep. " ) I also play a career

>version, which is just as destructive.

>

>I was discussing things with Suzy G (Case Manager at SSF) and for

>some insane reason, she asked me when I was going to write a book.

>I told her never, but that I did have the perfect title: " When I'm

>Thin . . . A Life Deferred. " It perfectly captures how so many of

>us have lived life:

>

>When I'm thin I'll travel.

>When I'm thin I'll get a better job.

>When I'm thin I'll find someone to love.

>When I'm thin I'll love myself.

>When I'm thin I'll be happy.

>

>How many things can list? I have hundreds.

>

>Uncle Timmy -236

>

>

>

>

>

> > > Uncle Timmy posted about significant others in our lives and how

> > > deeply those emotions can run. Being some one who NEVER had

>platonic

> > > male friends its something Ive been thinking alot about lately.

>I

> > > never really dated...my husband usually just came to the house

>to

> > see

> > > me. I never did the living on my own, college partying, kinda

> > > experimenting thing as an adolescent/young adult. Now that Im in

>my

> > > 40's and experiencing a new adolescence...I sometimes wonder

>what

> > else

> > > is out there. Dont get me wrong I love my husband very

>much...but

> > have

> > > found myself wondering if Ive missed out on something. Has

>anyone

> > else

> > > experienced anything like this?? If so how are you handling it??

> > >

> > > Huggles

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> >

[Guest guest]

There's nothing better, is there? When I lived in Princeton, New Jersey for a few years, my husband and I had an elderly lady next door neighbor. Her name was Serena (beautiful name, isn't it?) She told us we could use her pool anytime...that she didn't really use it anymore, but she kept it cleaned out for the grandkids. I told her that we were both New York City attorneys, and we didn't get home until very very late at night.

She said that when she was a newlywed, her favorite time to swim was at midnight, under a moonlit sky. She said, "When it's that late, come on over, let yourself in...and don't worry about noise. I am deaf as a post without my hearing aids, and I take them off when I sleep."

The pool was surrounded by these lovely old trees, and it was a way from the house (being the East Coast, we both actually had a lot of property. So, after a long day at the office, during those hot, humid East Coast summer nights...I'd literally get home at around 11 p.m., I'd kick off my heels and stockings...walk straight through her gate, strip off my gazillion dollar suits, throw them on the grass and dive in. It was heaven, swimming on my back, looking up at the dark clouds gently easing themselves across the moon....

Steve would join me frequently, and then of course...well...I would always lay on his back while he swam like a little dolphin...it was just wonderful.

I miss those days....

LaWanda Ezell wrote:

Skinnydipping is great, we used to do it when we had a pool. In fact it's the only thing I miss about having the pool, we filled it in a couple of years ago because we weren't using it enough. Thank God we have central air, it got pretty hot here in Sacramento too, though I don't think it got quite as hot as it did there. LaWanda At 10:41 PM 6/13/05, you wrote:>Tonight it is very hot in vacaville, i think it was 98 when i got home at >like 4:30, and its still near 75 or 80, i played in our pool actually had >a nap on my floatie for about 45 minutes. My husband says he likes to >watch me relax on my floatie, I tell him that when i am on the floatie >and looking up at the trees and clouds and blue sky, i feel like i am >floating on a cloud in the sky............. then later he showed me how to

>do the vacumn to the pool, and we looked at the deck he made and admired >it and all the work it took to put up this doughboy pool, we really wanted >a pool but could not pay 30-45,000 for an inground pool but we have all >the affects of a pool now with this one. It was hot in the house tonight >and we went to bed early, my stepson lives with us but he had been at his >moms for the weekend and unepectantly came home, he had me out in the >front yard showing me new parts to his skateboard he got, he was so >impressed with the speed of it, he kept insisting that i try it, i kept >saying no no, i weigh to much and i will damage it, he was laughing saying >i was a lunatic, i was so serous though because i knew i would break it, i >forgot that was the old Colleen, the rebirthed Colleen can stand on the >skate board if she wants ( to un coordinated to really use it though), it >was a great

moment and my stepson said Colleen, your like so not fat >anymore, your like kind of getting thin,,,,,,,,,,totally cool moment. >After we went to bed my daughter called and i was too tired to get up and >go to the phone and then my stepson said Molly had invited him over to her >house to spend the night, so she came and got him and he left, then i >could not get back to sleep, so guess what, a new Colleen thing i went >skinny dipping in the pool in the moonlight>very fun, and refreshing and the old colleen would of never done >that........................and to get into the pool you have to walk up >two decks and when i was taking my nightie off i was standing at a level >if anyone in the park were out they could kind of see me, never in a >million years would the old colleen chanced that, but tonight i wouldnt >and didnt give a rats *ss about that, just moving in the water and >watching the

rings of water rippling and the illumination of the moonlight >was so fun.....................>then i came in here and read about the purple bunny thing robynn mentioned >and now i feel like i have to go reasearch that thing.............gosh am >i ever going to get to sleep tonight ? geez LOL>Colleen>>Uncle Timmy wrote:>BLUSH!>Thank you for your kind words, ma petite merle. Bisou!>>For a lot of reasons (most of which we've shared) I've been>regretting that aspect of my life/personality a lot lately. Too>much time alone with myself, recovering from "Fillet Day" and>playing too many rounds of "Alternative Relationship Universes.">(You'll understand, when you watch "Bleep.") I also play a career>version, which is just as destructive.>>I was discussing things with Suzy G (Case Manager at SSF) and for>some insane reason, she

asked me when I was going to write a book.>I told her never, but that I did have the perfect title: "When I'm>Thin . . . A Life Deferred." It perfectly captures how so many of>us have lived life:>>When I'm thin I'll travel.>When I'm thin I'll get a better job.>When I'm thin I'll find someone to love.>When I'm thin I'll love myself.>When I'm thin I'll be happy.>>How many things can list? I have hundreds.>>Uncle Timmy -236>>>>>> > > Uncle Timmy posted about significant others in our lives and how> > > deeply those emotions can run. Being some one who NEVER had>platonic> > > male friends its something Ive been thinking alot about lately.>I> > > never really dated...my husband usually just came to the house>to> > see> > > me. I never did the living on my own, college partying,

kinda> > > experimenting thing as an adolescent/young adult. Now that Im in>my> > > 40's and experiencing a new adolescence...I sometimes wonder>what> > else> > > is out there. Dont get me wrong I love my husband very>much...but> > have> > > found myself wondering if Ive missed out on something. Has>anyone> > else> > > experienced anything like this?? If so how are you handling it??> > >> > > Huggles> >> >> >> >> >> > ---------------------------------> >

[Guest guest]

I can see why. Sounds like lovely times. LaWanda At 11:52 PM 6/13/05,

you wrote:

>There's nothing better, is there? When I lived in Princeton, New Jersey

>for a few years, my husband and I had an elderly lady next door

>neighbor. Her name was Serena (beautiful name, isn't it?) She told us we

>could use her pool anytime...that she didn't really use it anymore, but

>she kept it cleaned out for the grandkids. I told her that we were both

>New York City attorneys, and we didn't get home until very very late at night.

> She said that when she was a newlywed, her favorite time to swim was at

> midnight, under a moonlit sky. She said, " When it's that late, come on

> over, let yourself in...and don't worry about noise. I am deaf as a post

> without my hearing aids, and I take them off when I sleep. "

>

>The pool was surrounded by these lovely old trees, and it was a way from

>the house (being the East Coast, we both actually had a lot of

>property. So, after a long day at the office, during those hot, humid

>East Coast summer nights...I'd literally get home at around 11 p.m., I'd

>kick off my heels and stockings...walk straight through her gate, strip

>off my gazillion dollar suits, throw them on the grass and dive in. It

>was heaven, swimming on my back, looking up at the dark clouds gently

>easing themselves across the moon....

>

>Steve would join me frequently, and then of course...well...I would always

>lay on his back while he swam like a little dolphin...it was just wonderful.

>

>I miss those days....

>

>

>LaWanda Ezell konfuzed@...> wrote:

>Skinnydipping is great, we used to do it when we had a pool. In fact it's

>the only thing I miss about having the pool, we filled it in a couple of

>years ago because we weren't using it enough. Thank God we have central

>air, it got pretty hot here in Sacramento too, though I don't think it got

>quite as hot as it did there. LaWanda At 10:41 PM 6/13/05, you wrote:

> >Tonight it is very hot in vacaville, i think it was 98 when i got home at

> >like 4:30, and its still near 75 or 80, i played in our pool actually had

> >a nap on my floatie for about 45 minutes. My husband says he likes to

> >watch me relax on my floatie, I tell him that when i am on the floatie

> >and looking up at the trees and clouds and blue sky, i feel like i am

> >floating on a cloud in the sky............. then later he showed me how to

> >do the vacumn to the pool, and we looked at the deck he made and admired

> >it and all the work it took to put up this doughboy pool, we really wanted

> >a pool but could not pay 30-45,000 for an inground pool but we have all

> >the affects of a pool now with this one. It was hot in the house tonight

> >and we went to bed early, my stepson lives with us but he had been at his

> >moms for the weekend and unepectantly came home, he had me out in the

> >front yard showing me new parts to his skateboard he got, he was so

> >impressed with the speed of it, he kept insisting that i try it, i kept

> >saying no no, i weigh to much and i will damage it, he was laughing saying

> >i was a lunatic, i was so serous though because i knew i would break it, i

> >forgot that was the old Colleen, the rebirthed Colleen can stand on the

> >skate board if she wants ( to un coordinated to really use it though), it

> >was a great moment and my stepson said Colleen, your like so not fat

> >anymore, your like kind of getting thin,,,,,,,,,,totally cool moment.

> >After we went to bed my daughter called and i was too tired to get up and

> >go to the phone and then my stepson said Molly had invited him over to her

> >house to spend the night, so she came and got him and he left, then i

> >could not get back to sleep, so guess what, a new Colleen thing i went

> >skinny dipping in the pool in the moonlight

> >very fun, and refreshing and the old colleen would of never done

> >that........................and to get into the pool you have to walk up

> >two decks and when i was taking my nightie off i was standing at a level

> >if anyone in the park were out they could kind of see me, never in a

> >million years would the old colleen chanced that, but tonight i wouldnt

> >and didnt give a rats *ss about that, just moving in the water and

> >watching the rings of water rippling and the illumination of the moonlight

> >was so fun.....................

> >then i came in here and read about the purple bunny thing robynn mentioned

> >and now i feel like i have to go reasearch that thing.............gosh am

> >i ever going to get to sleep tonight ? geez LOL

> >Colleen

> >

> >Uncle Timmy n01un0@...> wrote:

> >BLUSH!

> >Thank you for your kind words, ma petite merle. Bisou!

> >

> >For a lot of reasons (most of which we've shared) I've been

> >regretting that aspect of my life/personality a lot lately. Too

> >much time alone with myself, recovering from " Fillet Day " and

> >playing too many rounds of " Alternative Relationship Universes. "

> >(You'll understand, when you watch " Bleep. " ) I also play a career

> >version, which is just as destructive.

> >

> >I was discussing things with Suzy G (Case Manager at SSF) and for

> >some insane reason, she asked me when I was going to write a book.

> >I told her never, but that I did have the perfect title: " When I'm

> >Thin . . . A Life Deferred. " It perfectly captures how so many of

> >us have lived life:

> >

> >When I'm thin I'll travel.

> >When I'm thin I'll get a better job.

> >When I'm thin I'll find someone to love.

> >When I'm thin I'll love myself.

> >When I'm thin I'll be happy.

> >

> >How many things can list? I have hundreds.

> >

> >Uncle Timmy -236

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > > > Uncle Timmy posted about significant others in our lives and how

> > > > deeply those emotions can run. Being some one who NEVER had

> >platonic

> > > > male friends its something Ive been thinking alot about lately.

> >I

> > > > never really dated...my husband usually just came to the house

> >to

> > > see

> > > > me. I never did the living on my own, college partying, kinda

> > > > experimenting thing as an adolescent/young adult. Now that Im in

> >my

> > > > 40's and experiencing a new adolescence...I sometimes wonder

> >what

> > > else

> > > > is out there. Dont get me wrong I love my husband very

> >much...but

> > > have

> > > > found myself wondering if Ive missed out on something. Has

> >anyone

> > > else

> > > > experienced anything like this?? If so how are you handling it??

> > > >

> > > > Huggles

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > ---------------------------------

> > >

[Guest guest]

LOL maybe we can get a group price on them and buy them in bulk to

pass out at the next meeting!! LOL

> > > Uncle Timmy posted about significant others in our lives and

how

> > > deeply those emotions can run. Being some one who NEVER had

> platonic

> > > male friends its something Ive been thinking alot about

lately.

> I

> > > never really dated...my husband usually just came to the house

> to

> > see

> > > me. I never did the living on my own, college partying, kinda

> > > experimenting thing as an adolescent/young adult. Now that Im

in

> my

> > > 40's and experiencing a new adolescence...I sometimes wonder

> what

> > else

> > > is out there. Dont get me wrong I love my husband very

> much...but

> > have

> > > found myself wondering if Ive missed out on something. Has

> anyone

> > else

> > > experienced anything like this?? If so how are you handling

it??

> > >

> > > Huggles

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> >

[Guest guest]

First off and foremost, I understand where you are going with this

thread, however..............................you are so not missing

anything. But my advice to you is to find something where you are just

you. Like me with Karaoke. I am not a mother, wife or anything but

friend when I am out with my Karaoke buddies (and some are on here).

There is a real freedom to this and it doesn't diminish my spouse or my

daughter who I love with all my life and heart but it give me, me

back. I don't feel guilty when I go out I just go and most of these

folks have no idea I was ever fat. I like that too.

So , you need to find you in all this and do something just for

you. With friends or without.

My daughter and I are going to also start dancing classes. This is

something for the " we " in us.

So take a step back and find something that speaks to your heart and

just give it a try. You are doing this run, so it will be something

like that. Be brave and know that you can stand on your own in the

body you have right now. And be loved just for who you are.

> Uncle Timmy posted about significant others in our lives and how

> deeply those emotions can run. Being some one who NEVER had platonic

> male friends its something Ive been thinking alot about lately. I

> never really dated...my husband usually just came to the house to see

> me. I never did the living on my own, college partying, kinda

> experimenting thing as an adolescent/young adult. Now that Im in my

> 40's and experiencing a new adolescence...I sometimes wonder what

else

> is out there. Dont get me wrong I love my husband very much...but

have

> found myself wondering if Ive missed out on something. Has anyone

else

> experienced anything like this?? If so how are you handling it??

>

> Huggles

[Guest guest]

First off and foremost, I understand where you are going with this

thread, however..............................you are so not missing

anything. But my advice to you is to find something where you are just

you. Like me with Karaoke. I am not a mother, wife or anything but

friend when I am out with my Karaoke buddies (and some are on here).

There is a real freedom to this and it doesn't diminish my spouse or my

daughter who I love with all my life and heart but it give me, me

back. I don't feel guilty when I go out I just go and most of these

folks have no idea I was ever fat. I like that too.

So , you need to find you in all this and do something just for

you. With friends or without.

My daughter and I are going to also start dancing classes. This is

something for the " we " in us.

So take a step back and find something that speaks to your heart and

just give it a try. You are doing this run, so it will be something

like that. Be brave and know that you can stand on your own in the

body you have right now. And be loved just for who you are.

> Uncle Timmy posted about significant others in our lives and how

> deeply those emotions can run. Being some one who NEVER had platonic

> male friends its something Ive been thinking alot about lately. I

> never really dated...my husband usually just came to the house to see

> me. I never did the living on my own, college partying, kinda

> experimenting thing as an adolescent/young adult. Now that Im in my

> 40's and experiencing a new adolescence...I sometimes wonder what

else

> is out there. Dont get me wrong I love my husband very much...but

have

> found myself wondering if Ive missed out on something. Has anyone

else

> experienced anything like this?? If so how are you handling it??

>

> Huggles

[Guest guest]

What a great message Robynn. , I love these ideas. You need

to go for it.

> Uncle Timmy posted about significant others in our lives and how

> deeply those emotions can run. Being some one who NEVER had

platonic

> male friends its something Ive been thinking alot about lately. I

> never really dated...my husband usually just came to the house to

see

> me. I never did the living on my own, college partying, kinda

> experimenting thing as an adolescent/young adult. Now that Im in my

> 40's and experiencing a new adolescence...I sometimes wonder what

else

> is out there. Dont get me wrong I love my husband very much...but

have

> found myself wondering if Ive missed out on something. Has anyone

else

> experienced anything like this?? If so how are you handling it??

>

> Huggles

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I am so proud of you, you hot skateboarding mama!

> > > Uncle Timmy posted about significant others in our lives and

how

> > > deeply those emotions can run. Being some one who NEVER had

> platonic

> > > male friends its something Ive been thinking alot about lately.

> I

> > > never really dated...my husband usually just came to the house

> to

> > see

> > > me. I never did the living on my own, college partying, kinda

> > > experimenting thing as an adolescent/young adult. Now that Im

in

> my

> > > 40's and experiencing a new adolescence...I sometimes wonder

> what

> > else

> > > is out there. Dont get me wrong I love my husband very

> much...but

> > have

> > > found myself wondering if Ive missed out on something. Has

> anyone

> > else

> > > experienced anything like this?? If so how are you handling

it??

> > >

> > > Huggles

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> >

[Guest guest]

LOL What a great Idea!

I have a friend who does the naughty lady parties. We should get a

group of us together and have her over with her toys and things :-) Oh

and it doesn't have to be just us ladies either. So, Who's up for

hosting???

Kerre

> > > > Uncle Timmy posted about significant others in our lives and

> how

> > > > deeply those emotions can run. Being some one who NEVER had

> > platonic

> > > > male friends its something Ive been thinking alot about

> lately.

> > I

> > > > never really dated...my husband usually just came to the house

> > to

> > > see

> > > > me. I never did the living on my own, college partying, kinda

> > > > experimenting thing as an adolescent/young adult. Now that Im

> in

> > my

> > > > 40's and experiencing a new adolescence...I sometimes wonder

> > what

> > > else

> > > > is out there. Dont get me wrong I love my husband very

> > much...but

> > > have

> > > > found myself wondering if Ive missed out on something. Has

> > anyone

> > > else

> > > > experienced anything like this?? If so how are you handling

> it??

> > > >

> > > > Huggles

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > ---------------------------------

> > >

[Guest guest]

It's not like I MIND having my name attached to this thread (Hell,

I'll drive the carpool to the toy store, and provide a male

perspective - The batteries are on me!) but can we remember to

change the subject line, when the topic changes lanes?

Uncle Timmy (Many things, but not shy.)

> > > > > Uncle Timmy posted about significant others in our lives

and

> > how

> > > > > deeply those emotions can run. Being some one who NEVER

had

> > > platonic

> > > > > male friends its something Ive been thinking alot about

> > lately.

> > > I

> > > > > never really dated...my husband usually just came to the

house

> > > to

> > > > see

> > > > > me. I never did the living on my own, college partying,

kinda

> > > > > experimenting thing as an adolescent/young adult. Now that

Im

> > in

> > > my

> > > > > 40's and experiencing a new adolescence...I sometimes

wonder

> > > what

> > > > else

> > > > > is out there. Dont get me wrong I love my husband very

> > > much...but

> > > > have

> > > > > found myself wondering if Ive missed out on something. Has

> > > anyone

> > > > else

> > > > > experienced anything like this?? If so how are you

handling

> > it??

> > > > >

> > > > > Huggles

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > ---------------------------------

> > > >

[Guest guest]

It's not like I MIND having my name attached to this thread (Hell,

I'll drive the carpool to the toy store, and provide a male

perspective - The batteries are on me!) but can we remember to

change the subject line, when the topic changes lanes?

Uncle Timmy (Many things, but not shy.)

> > > > > Uncle Timmy posted about significant others in our lives

and

> > how

> > > > > deeply those emotions can run. Being some one who NEVER

had

> > > platonic

> > > > > male friends its something Ive been thinking alot about

> > lately.

> > > I

> > > > > never really dated...my husband usually just came to the

house

> > > to

> > > > see

> > > > > me. I never did the living on my own, college partying,

kinda

> > > > > experimenting thing as an adolescent/young adult. Now that

Im

> > in

> > > my

> > > > > 40's and experiencing a new adolescence...I sometimes

wonder

> > > what

> > > > else

> > > > > is out there. Dont get me wrong I love my husband very

> > > much...but

> > > > have

> > > > > found myself wondering if Ive missed out on something. Has

> > > anyone

> > > > else

> > > > > experienced anything like this?? If so how are you

handling

> > it??

> > > > >

> > > > > Huggles

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > ---------------------------------

> > > >