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[Guest guest]

I'm a bit overwhelled right now - so many different things in my

life that I am trying to " take control " of.

I've wanted to have this done for a few years now - since I was told

about it around the 6th grade. I let it stay in the back of my head

for years, then recently (maybe about 2 years ago) it resurfaced. I

know that I hate my appearance because of my jaw - it is just

something that I would love to live without.

I struggled with the idea because I didn't want to have " cosmetic

surgery " - because I didn't want people to think anything weird

about me. Then I thought, why does it matter what these people

think? I guess my answer to that is, if what they think doesn't

matter, why would I need to have this surgery? But then again,

there are more than just the appearance problems, so I should get

it. I just have so many thoughts and worries - and I don't know

enough about it.

So, now I am 22, going on 23 in May. I've decided that I want this

done, especially while I am young. If I keep postponing this, I'll

regret it. I want to enjoy all that I can about this surgery for as

long as possible.

My biggest fear:

What if I don't like the way I look after it is done?

I don't know why I am posting - but I guess because it is nice to

have this space where I can share my feelings about these things

with people who might actually understand. Some of my friends and

family tell me they don't notice anything - and it is only until

after I point it out. And that I shouldn't go through all this.

And it is hard, because as encouraging as they are trying to be,

they aren't helping with my feelings about the situation. My mom

has now taken support and said that I should do this for me, because

it is something I want and will make me feel better.

I don't know - like I said, maybe I'm just a bit overwhelmed and

just needed to get some of this out. Thanks for whoever reads this

for taking the time to do so - it is just nice to see this group.