Guest guest Posted February 24, 2004 Report Share Posted February 24, 2004 Hello everyone. Like I said before, I'm scheduled for upper/lower on March 2nd. I think I'm pretty prepared for all the post-op stuff, but the thing that is really freaking me out is looking different. My surgeon said I'll look fuller in my upper lip area, and the tip of my nose will tip up a bit, and that doesn't sound like much, BUT when I look at people's pictures many look COMPLETELY different. People look good post-op, and just about everybody--I think--has been happy with their physical appearance. I hope I am too, but it is a weird thought that my face--that I've known for 33 years, that my husband knows, and my children find comfort in--will be very different. How do I tell my kids, my family, people I havent' seen in a while about how different I will look? This is so weird to me. Thanks! Eileen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 24, 2004 Report Share Posted February 24, 2004 One, non=mouth=oriented suggestion.... I didn't look a lot different from my orthognathic surgery. I have known good friends who did, and yes. It can be a troublesome problem to deal with. But the mouth's working makes it all better. I have, however, in the course of my long, old life, several times lost 100+ pounds. And regained them. (Nope. I can't blame a single one on my ortho nor my surgeon. Alas.) That often makes people unable to recognize me. And no, I am not saying that's a good thing to do. I just struggle with it perennially. And sometimes I'm smaller, and sometimes I'm larger, and no. I got no answers for it. At least this mouth stuff is a skeletal one, that's not likely to change back again on you, given what our docs know, today, and given that most sane patients do what their docs tell them. But relax and enjoy whatever you have a good time celebrating! That's a biggie! I've had fun with folks grabbing me and celebrating a major weight loss. And fun with people who thought I'd had one when I'd regained most of it. I've had less fun with folks, including a physician friend, telling me over cocktails in his front parlor, with family all around, that I should see a psychiatrist if I couldn't keep the weight off. Maybe he's right. But I think I'll keep on keeping on. I don't have a profound answer. But I do have a good answer, I think. Which is, take the wonders that you get, cherish and enjoy them! For however long they stick with you! And enjoy whatever is healthy and functioning about your mouth and body, and try not to be disturbed by others' perceptions. They are not important to your happiness, generally speaking. If your bite and your teeth work better for you, do not destroy themselves -- is that not enough? Your husband and your children, I would think, love your underskin and your temperament, generosity and personality a lot more than whether your teeth are in one line or another. Iis true... Tell them you're having a big deal jaw surgery you need. that you need them to help you through it. Tell them you may look different, afterward. Tell them you will want and expect their support and help. And tell them that you expect them to rejoice in the improved function and diminution of pain ... and that it wouldn't be a bad idea, either, if they tell you you look " Simply MAHHVELOUS!!! " afterward, because the last is your expectation! I don't remember the dimensions you're contemplating. Mine (5 mm one way and 3 another, lower only) made not enough difference to see. Others are indeed visibly significant. So what? If, let's say and God forbid, you were badly burned, would it matter? I hope not. This is is good change, I hope, that will give you better function. Let the good times roll! Do talk with the doc about the nose, and what you want or don't. That's important, and there may be things the doc will be willing or unwilling to do that could affect the outcome. Cammie > Hello everyone. Like I said before, I'm scheduled for upper/lower on > March 2nd. I think I'm pretty prepared for all the post-op stuff, but > the thing that is really freaking me out is looking different. My > surgeon said I'll look fuller in my upper lip area, and the tip of my > nose will tip up a bit, and that doesn't sound like much, BUT when I > look at people's pictures many look COMPLETELY different. People look > good post-op, and just about everybody--I think--has been happy with > their physical appearance. I hope I am too, but it is a weird thought > that my face--that I've known for 33 years, that my husband knows, and > my children find comfort in--will be very different. > > How do I tell my kids, my family, people I havent' seen in a while > about how different I will look? This is so weird to me. Thanks! > > Eileen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 24, 2004 Report Share Posted February 24, 2004 One, non=mouth=oriented suggestion.... I didn't look a lot different from my orthognathic surgery. I have known good friends who did, and yes. It can be a troublesome problem to deal with. But the mouth's working makes it all better. I have, however, in the course of my long, old life, several times lost 100+ pounds. And regained them. (Nope. I can't blame a single one on my ortho nor my surgeon. Alas.) That often makes people unable to recognize me. And no, I am not saying that's a good thing to do. I just struggle with it perennially. And sometimes I'm smaller, and sometimes I'm larger, and no. I got no answers for it. At least this mouth stuff is a skeletal one, that's not likely to change back again on you, given what our docs know, today, and given that most sane patients do what their docs tell them. But relax and enjoy whatever you have a good time celebrating! That's a biggie! I've had fun with folks grabbing me and celebrating a major weight loss. And fun with people who thought I'd had one when I'd regained most of it. I've had less fun with folks, including a physician friend, telling me over cocktails in his front parlor, with family all around, that I should see a psychiatrist if I couldn't keep the weight off. Maybe he's right. But I think I'll keep on keeping on. I don't have a profound answer. But I do have a good answer, I think. Which is, take the wonders that you get, cherish and enjoy them! For however long they stick with you! And enjoy whatever is healthy and functioning about your mouth and body, and try not to be disturbed by others' perceptions. They are not important to your happiness, generally speaking. If your bite and your teeth work better for you, do not destroy themselves -- is that not enough? Your husband and your children, I would think, love your underskin and your temperament, generosity and personality a lot more than whether your teeth are in one line or another. Iis true... Tell them you're having a big deal jaw surgery you need. that you need them to help you through it. Tell them you may look different, afterward. Tell them you will want and expect their support and help. And tell them that you expect them to rejoice in the improved function and diminution of pain ... and that it wouldn't be a bad idea, either, if they tell you you look " Simply MAHHVELOUS!!! " afterward, because the last is your expectation! I don't remember the dimensions you're contemplating. Mine (5 mm one way and 3 another, lower only) made not enough difference to see. Others are indeed visibly significant. So what? If, let's say and God forbid, you were badly burned, would it matter? I hope not. This is is good change, I hope, that will give you better function. Let the good times roll! Do talk with the doc about the nose, and what you want or don't. That's important, and there may be things the doc will be willing or unwilling to do that could affect the outcome. Cammie > Hello everyone. Like I said before, I'm scheduled for upper/lower on > March 2nd. I think I'm pretty prepared for all the post-op stuff, but > the thing that is really freaking me out is looking different. My > surgeon said I'll look fuller in my upper lip area, and the tip of my > nose will tip up a bit, and that doesn't sound like much, BUT when I > look at people's pictures many look COMPLETELY different. People look > good post-op, and just about everybody--I think--has been happy with > their physical appearance. I hope I am too, but it is a weird thought > that my face--that I've known for 33 years, that my husband knows, and > my children find comfort in--will be very different. > > How do I tell my kids, my family, people I havent' seen in a while > about how different I will look? This is so weird to me. Thanks! > > Eileen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 24, 2004 Report Share Posted February 24, 2004 My kids (2 and 4) know I'm having surgery--there were many questions about why I got braces, so I told them. This weekend, I'll tell them I will be swolen and may look different, but I'm still the same inside--just with different jaws. :-) I was thinking of writing on a piece of paper the reasons why I'm having this done (so in the first few days, when I say " WHY DID I DO THIS? " I can say, oh yeah--so I can chew properly, not break my teeth, and not have jaw pain. And if I look better--awesome! :-) Eileen > > Hello everyone. Like I said before, I'm scheduled for upper/lower on > > March 2nd. I think I'm pretty prepared for all the post-op stuff, > but > > the thing that is really freaking me out is looking different. My > > surgeon said I'll look fuller in my upper lip area, and the tip of > my > > nose will tip up a bit, and that doesn't sound like much, BUT when I > > look at people's pictures many look COMPLETELY different. People > look > > good post-op, and just about everybody--I think--has been happy with > > their physical appearance. I hope I am too, but it is a weird > thought > > that my face--that I've known for 33 years, that my husband knows, > and > > my children find comfort in--will be very different. > > > > How do I tell my kids, my family, people I havent' seen in a while > > about how different I will look? This is so weird to me. Thanks! > > > > Eileen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 24, 2004 Report Share Posted February 24, 2004 My kids (2 and 4) know I'm having surgery--there were many questions about why I got braces, so I told them. This weekend, I'll tell them I will be swolen and may look different, but I'm still the same inside--just with different jaws. :-) I was thinking of writing on a piece of paper the reasons why I'm having this done (so in the first few days, when I say " WHY DID I DO THIS? " I can say, oh yeah--so I can chew properly, not break my teeth, and not have jaw pain. And if I look better--awesome! :-) Eileen > > Hello everyone. Like I said before, I'm scheduled for upper/lower on > > March 2nd. I think I'm pretty prepared for all the post-op stuff, > but > > the thing that is really freaking me out is looking different. My > > surgeon said I'll look fuller in my upper lip area, and the tip of > my > > nose will tip up a bit, and that doesn't sound like much, BUT when I > > look at people's pictures many look COMPLETELY different. People > look > > good post-op, and just about everybody--I think--has been happy with > > their physical appearance. I hope I am too, but it is a weird > thought > > that my face--that I've known for 33 years, that my husband knows, > and > > my children find comfort in--will be very different. > > > > How do I tell my kids, my family, people I havent' seen in a while > > about how different I will look? This is so weird to me. Thanks! > > > > Eileen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 24, 2004 Report Share Posted February 24, 2004 Hi folks... Although I had almost no change in appearance from my surgery, I certainly can understand your concerns, and your worries that the changes you may experience will be difficult to manage. May I suggest that if you're having upper jaw surgery in particular, you will go through quite a few changes. The swelling can be -- well, evidence of the trauma your tissues, including bones, have gone through. Same about bruising. But those, while surprising and not easy to cope with, are temporary. If you have a big change in your appearance, whether you like it or don't (and most do! not to say that you aren't gorgeous before, though!) the fact is that you're the same person underneath. If you tell your children that ahead of time, won't it help them deal with the superficial changes? And if you tell them that the same mommy, daddy, sister, cousin, niece, whatever, will still be there, and still love them in exactly the same way, might that not be a good thing for them to learn? Suppose -- the Fates forbid! -- you were to be terribly bunged up in an auto accident, or badly burned, or suffer any such disabling troubles. They might have problems figuring it out (I would! -- the ancient question about why bad things happen to good people...) But would you worry because your appearance had changed? Or expect them to reject or misunderstand you? I'd think you'd be grateful to keep on going, and help them figure out (depending on their age) that the same sweet and loving person was still there for them, whatever the outer appearance... Just my notions. Cammie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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