FW: 7 Shades of Blonde

[Guest guest]

Some of these are kind of cute and put a smile on your face.

Subject: FW: 7 Shades of Blonde

ONE

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the

morning. The wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said,

"How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The

husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know; some woman

wanting to know if the coast is clear."

TWO

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on

the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the

mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." the second

blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact.

The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

THREE

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out

and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she

opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde

is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as

she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and

puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The

blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

FOUR

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She

proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend

says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh,

that's easy: W."

FIVE

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was

pregnant? "Is it mine?"

SIX

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.

"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was

stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Yes, officer, I'm just fine"

the blonde chirped. "Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer

asked as he surveyed the wrecked car. "Officer, it was the strangest

thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along this road when from out

of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the

right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was

ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved

to the left and there was ...." "Uh, ma'am," the officer said,

cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your

air freshener swinging back and forth."

SEVEN

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house

ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once

and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call

on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to

respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a

leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop

and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she

moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call

the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman.

[Guest guest]

Vera,

The life of a caregiver! Up at 5:45 AM sending out dumb blonde

jokes and worrying about what shade of blond hair dye to use )

When will you learn, Fred doesn't care about what color your hair is )

) Bill

====================

FVJAMES@... wrote:

Some

of these are kind of cute and put a smile on your face.

[Guest guest]

Vera,

The life of a caregiver! Up at 5:45 AM sending out dumb blonde

jokes and worrying about what shade of blond hair dye to use )

When will you learn, Fred doesn't care about what color your hair is )

) Bill

====================

FVJAMES@... wrote:

Some

of these are kind of cute and put a smile on your face.

[Guest guest]

Vera,

The life of a caregiver! Up at 5:45 AM sending out dumb blonde

jokes and worrying about what shade of blond hair dye to use )

When will you learn, Fred doesn't care about what color your hair is )

) Bill

====================

FVJAMES@... wrote:

Some

of these are kind of cute and put a smile on your face.