Guest guest Posted March 13, 2003 Report Share Posted March 13, 2003 Dear Anne, No matter what happens, you have my respect for the fight you've put up. I am still hoping and praying for you. Whatever may happen, I will never forget you and my wish is now, more than ever, that we all - you, your family, myself, Deanne and our family can sit together - thousands of miles apart - light a candle, watch a sun set in a year's time think about one another and think back to a battle won in this war. If life is a war, we are all born losers anyway. The difference comes in how many battles you win. With this, I'm sending you every bit of spare ammunition I can muster. I am off to the hospital. Deanne is terrified of anaesthetic again. They're doing the bronchoscopy at 10:00. Will advise the outcome later. All my (spare) love, Emile Anne's Not Good I regret having to write this. It has been a grueling day. As of this morning, Anne suffered quite a setback with extensive internal bleeding. She is very pale, not eating much, and very weak. Hospice came to our aid immediately. We gave Anne the choice to make: 1)return to hospital for tests, IVs, transfusions, and possibly more surgery or 2) stay home. She chose 2. This is an awful roller coaster ride with the upside getting shorter and shorter. Despite her weakness she opted to get out of the house. Her Dad and Brother Vince stayed home from work and our family drove to the beach nearby to check for dolphins whom Anne loves. Since there were none, she wanted to drive around so we went to see horses nearby, and to two horse supply stores where she had worked. It really lifted her spirits. She even felt like eating something after a day of only water. Anne's appetite had been that of a truck driver so it was clear she was not well. Now she is resting. Perhaps she will feel a tad better but it is totally unpredictable. They tell us that it is a matter of days or at the most two weeks. So we will continue to do our best to bring comfort to our shining star, Anne. She never ceases the beautiful smile, although it is less frequent and a strain. Sorry to have to give this bad news and to endure the reality of it. But it is what it is. We are on a roller coaster and this is not a joy ride for sure! Now more than ever the Serenity prayer is important: " God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (Anne's declining health), the courage to change the things I must (she may die but I will always and forever be her mom and that will never change. I just must change my perspective of how I can be her Mom ), and the wisdom to know the difference. " Thanks for all your caring and concern, support and love. Vicki, Anne, and Pete Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 14, 2003 Report Share Posted March 14, 2003 Vicky and family, I dont know quite how to word the emotions i am feeling for i am a mom of an nf2 child also. You are a very couragous woman. My prayers are with you. Fondly, from ny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 14, 2003 Report Share Posted March 14, 2003 Hi, I am new to the crew & though I have been remembering all of you in my prayers, I don't know your stories. Please tell me what is going on with Anne & Deanne. I don't mean to pry. I'm just very interested & concerned - trying to find out all I can about this dreadful disease. I had never heard of it until I was diagnosed with my second AN a couple of months ago. My prayers are with you, especially Anne, Deanne & the Green family. Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 14, 2003 Report Share Posted March 14, 2003 Ohhhhhhhhhh hard post:( hard realizations:( In every case we need to learn to let go I think:( It is very hard. We have desire to make things happen 'our way' That is not always the best way. We have limited view, and what we would like is not always for the best. I cannot even guess at you and your husbands pain. I am a Mom and i stopped writting this just now to hug my kids. To be so powerless in their pain, must be the worst feeling in the world. Sometimes tho, when you release things from your control, they work out in ways we could never imagine. You have a very strong fibre Vicky, i see it in your posts, very good outlook in Annes challenges. Im sure its wearing you down and hard for your whole family too. Hang in there, you never know how it will go. The future isnt ours to see (to quote Doris Day) but its true. Anne is very lucky to have you for her Mom. Take care~~Lori lphibbs@... .. Sent: Thursday, March 13, 2003 9:34 PM Subject: Anne's Not Good > I regret having to write this. It has been a grueling day. As of this > morning, Anne suffered quite a setback with extensive internal bleeding. She > is very pale, not eating much, and very weak. Hospice came to our aid > immediately. We gave Anne the choice to make: 1)return to hospital for > tests, IVs, transfusions, and possibly more surgery or 2) stay home. She > chose 2. This is an awful roller coaster ride with the upside getting > shorter and shorter. Despite her weakness she opted to get out of the house. > Her Dad and Brother Vince stayed home from work and our family drove to the > beach nearby to check for dolphins whom Anne loves. Since there were none, > she wanted to drive around so we went to see horses nearby, and to two horse > supply stores where she had worked. It really lifted her spirits. She even > felt like eating something after a day of only water. Anne's appetite had > been that of a truck driver so it was clear she was not well. Now she is > resting. Perhaps she will feel a tad better but it is totally unpredictable. > They tell us that it is a matter of days or at the most two weeks. So we > will continue to do our best to bring comfort to our shining star, Anne. She > never ceases the beautiful smile, although it is less frequent and a strain. > Sorry to have to give this bad news and to endure the reality of it. But it > is what it is. We are on a roller coaster and this is not a joy ride for > sure! > > Now more than ever the Serenity prayer is important: " God grant me the > serenity to accept the things I cannot change (Anne's declining health), the > courage to change the things I must (she may die but I will always and > forever be her mom and that will never change. I just must change my > perspective of how I can be her Mom ), and the wisdom to know the > difference. " > > Thanks for all your caring and concern, support and love. > > Vicki, Anne, and Pete > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 14, 2003 Report Share Posted March 14, 2003 Anne's Not Good Vicky , I am so glad she had this beautiful time with family and nature, for Anne's and sake, and yours. I'm just so sorry all of you are going through this...May you be given the strength you all need.......my thoughts and prayers are with all you, wish I could do more, something , anything.... hugs Vicky, Anne & family, Sheryn _______ > I regret having to write this. It has been a grueling day. As of this > morning, Anne suffered quite a setback with extensive internal bleeding. She > is very pale, not eating much, and very weak. Hospice came to our aid > immediately. We gave Anne the choice to make: 1)return to hospital for > tests, IVs, transfusions, and possibly more surgery or 2) stay home. She > chose 2. This is an awful roller coaster ride with the upside getting > shorter and shorter. Despite her weakness she opted to get out of the house. > Her Dad and Brother Vince stayed home from work and our family drove to the > beach nearby to check for dolphins whom Anne loves. Since there were none, > she wanted to drive around so we went to see horses nearby, and to two horse > supply stores where she had worked. It really lifted her spirits. She even > felt like eating something after a day of only water. Anne's appetite had > been that of a truck driver so it was clear she was not well. Now she is > resting. Perhaps she will feel a tad better but it is totally unpredictable. > They tell us that it is a matter of days or at the most two weeks. So we > will continue to do our best to bring comfort to our shining star, Anne. She > never ceases the beautiful smile, although it is less frequent and a strain. > Sorry to have to give this bad news and to endure the reality of it. But it > is what it is. We are on a roller coaster and this is not a joy ride for > sure! > > Now more than ever the Serenity prayer is important: " God grant me the > serenity to accept the things I cannot change (Anne's declining health), the > courage to change the things I must (she may die but I will always and > forever be her mom and that will never change. I just must change my > perspective of how I can be her Mom ), and the wisdom to know the > difference. " > > Thanks for all your caring and concern, support and love. > > Vicki, Anne, and Pete > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 14, 2003 Report Share Posted March 14, 2003 Lori, thanks. It may wear me down but I will rebound . I always do. Vicki Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2003 Report Share Posted March 15, 2003 Being the patient and having seen my own mom literally sit with me several nights in a row while I retched in nausea and cried all night in the hospital while in pain to boot, its hard to say who this is harder on. i know i was in great discomfort, weakest ever been, but the pain in my moms eyes watching me go thru that was almost more intense. Glad there are moms, dont know where id be without mine. Anne is just as lucky as you are vicki. Gosh i wish I could fix this but we have to accept, its the only choice. vjpcook@... wrote: > , > The moms aren't courageous really. It is these wonderful children of ours > that amaze everyone they encounter. I am so proud to be Anne's mom as I am > sure you are of your child. They endure so much with such courage, patience > and surrender. I learn from Anne. Thanks for your kind thoughts and support. > Hugs, Vicki > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2003 Report Share Posted March 18, 2003 You are so right about the pain you saw in your mom's eyes. I guess it is a mutual admiration. Perhaps in The Greater Plan we moms got placed with you strong, wonderful " kids " for a reason. Acceptance is the hardest thing though. You have certainly trudged through the trenches many times and keep your spirit so very well. Thanks for your always comforting e-mails. Hugs, Vicki Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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