Re: Everyone

[Guest guest]

Don't apologize!! I am sorry to hear you are having such a hard time

and I do have the pain med that I got from having my surgery that I

didn't take! I would happily give it to you if I could. Any

suggestions? I wish I were there to help cause I am going crazy

sitting here by myself.

Sunshine (28)

DH Doug (30)

DS Tyler (11)

DD Kelsey (9)

TR- 8/21/03

TTC- Waiting for +++ news from Dr.

[Guest guest]

Don't apologize!! I am sorry to hear you are having such a hard time

and I do have the pain med that I got from having my surgery that I

didn't take! I would happily give it to you if I could. Any

suggestions? I wish I were there to help cause I am going crazy

sitting here by myself.

Sunshine (28)

DH Doug (30)

DS Tyler (11)

DD Kelsey (9)

TR- 8/21/03

TTC- Waiting for +++ news from Dr.

[Guest guest]

Whine away! That is what we are here for. I feel your pain. I haven't had one

of them since I was PG, thank goodness. I hope you are feeling better soon.

Everyone

Good morning to all. Well, it's that time of the month again, when AF is just

a few short days away (I tested BFN, so no one get excited) and I have the

MIGRAINE from HELL! The bad part is, I am so swamped at work getting all of the

employee's YTD payroll totals into the new payroll system, that the only way I

can go anywhere away from my desk is if I am hit by a bus! I am super stressed,

super busy, and the migraine doesn't help at all. What sucks most is I

completely missed out spending time with Jon and the kids last night, and it was

his birthday!

I wish I could go home and lie down, but that's not possible. Can't have my

doctor call in a refill on my migraine meds (they have to see you in the office)

and can't afford a trip to the doc till payday (LOTS of stuff hit this payday,

including my jerk boss docking me for a full day when I have more than enough

time made up - Terrie knows what I am talking about.). Anyway, I am just stuck

and can't do anything about it.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to come here to whine, I really don't. I just feel so

horrible with this pain and nausea. I know it's wrong to ask anyone for pain

meds, but if anyone was able to help me I would kiss their feet. I haven't

heard back from Dr. L either. I would hope that the majority of you wonderful

ladies who have been here a long time and known me for years would know me well

enough to trust my intentions. If I can't figure out something, I'll be left

with no choice but to go to the ER, and that's a nice chunk o'change I don't

have - LOL!

Sorry to whine, go about your business...

Hart

TR 6-4-01 ~ 8cm R ~ 9cm L

~ Mom to 4 Great Children ~

Arianne (16) ~ a (8)

(5) ~ Bean (1)

Glory to God and Many Thanks to Dr. Levin!

http://www.geocities.com/thehartclantx/Thehartclantx.html

Life's riches are not measured in dollars.

[Guest guest]

>

>Tonia

It is sometimes best to go with your first instinct and to send the

emails that you decide to delete. I mean if they arent hurting anyone

and its just to vent about what you are feeling then go right ahead

and post. It may make you feel better just to ramble on about your

feelings, your frustrations and your sadness and fears.

Dont close yourself off from your friends or your family..you need

them just as much as they need you.

Much love and Hugs Tonia

Donna

[Guest guest]

Tonia....Post and vent and get it out...holding it in will just make you explode one day at the most insignificant thing that would never bother you if you weren't holding everything inside. Don't worry about sticking your foot in your mouth..everyone has done that at some point and no one will hold a grudge or take it personally if you vent. When you feel like writing do...even if you don't send it..write in a journal every time you feel like getting it off your chest..give your journal a name so you feel like you are talking to someone other then a book...it does help. Write a letter to the person who you are angry at..your husband...your children...me...lol...and then burn it...but get whatever is bothering you out. I have vented on here..I think everyone has at least once if not more...vent to me in a private letter..will not be offended...swear..scream...whatever..I won't be offended I promise. I know when I try to keep things bottled

inside it just makes me flare up and then i get upset with every little thing...someone could say boo to me and I yell at them...then feel sorry cause it wasn't even them that I was mad at..and it starts to become a cycle. I know when you are so down you can't see the light at the end of it all...but believe me things will get better. Promise me that if you really feel unsafe that you will go to the hospital..tell someone..get help...call one of us...but don't hurt yourself. I think everyone has had thoughts about killing themselves at least once in their lives...but if you really start to think of a plan..and you really can't stop thinking about it..get the help you need and deserve...your kids and husband need you...and love you. I know everyone has stressed all of this before and it might be becoming reduntant...but it's because we all care about you and worry about you..and want you to happy once again. So please vent and I hope you start seeing the

positive in your life..Hugs..GinnyTonia wrote:

I would like to thank everyone for everything. I have found that its usually best for me to not post when I do get like this, because I usually end up sticking my foot in my mouth and make someone very mad at me because of stuff that I say without realizing that I actually say it. I don't mean to.....but, it just happens.

That is why I kind of just disappeared this past 3-4 weeks, so that I didn't offend anyone.

I'm not the type that asks for help usually. I try to take care of everything myself, keeping everything bottled up inside. Thats probably why my pain levels are skyrocketing, because of all of the stress from keeping it bottled up. I just hate the idea of bothering everyone else with my problems, because I know that everyone else has their own problems that they need to take care of themselves, and they don't need mine on top of it.

Guess I've been around my husband too long....he's the same way, he refuses to open up and talk about whats bothering him either, even to me.

Many times I've started an email to the group, to talk about whats bothering me.....and every time, i've just deleted it instead of sending it. Maybe one of these days, I'll actually send it instead.

Thanks again for the help....I do appreciate it more than you know.

Tonia

-------Original Message-------

Tonia...I know some about SSI because my son is on it. As long as you qualify income wise to get even 1 dollar a month all medical is covered...but if you go over the income level then you do lose your medical. You can buy into the medicaid program if that happens for a small fee and get your health coverage like that if you have been approved for ssi but were kicked off because your income level went up or you have more then 2000 in the bank. They do check your bank accounts very 6 months and if for any reason you had more then 2000 in the bank at one time you will owe back the money they sent for that month but the medical coverage from that month will still be in effect..hope this helps some. I know things seem desolate right now...and it's hard to see any positive in your life right now..and I am sure you can't see any positive coming your way in the future..but believe me...it's there..and will always be there..you have wonderful friends in

this group..and you have 3 wonderful children that love you with all their hearts even if they don't always show it...and your husband is sticking in there with you which is more then most men would do...and he cares for the kids when you are unable too...it's because even if he doesn't always show it the way you want him to...he does love you. I am here if you need anything...so is everyone else on here...so don't be afraid to ask...everyone needs help sometimes..and no matter what you think about the world not needing you in it..you are needed more then you can imagine....Hugs..Ginny

[Guest guest]

TONIA>>> A FEW WEEKS AGO YOU WERE ENCOURAGING ME AND I APPRECIATED THAT VERY MUCH AND NOW I WANT TO ENCOURAGE YOU. THIS TIME OF YEAR ESPECIALLY IS VERY HARD ON FOLKS...AND IN OUR CASE; ALREADY HAVING A GREAT DEAL OF PHYSICAL PAIN, ITS NOT ANY EASIER. YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL FAMILY THAT WOULD MISS YOU MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE IF YOU WERE TO TAKE YOUR LIFE.WE ALL FEEL LIKE WE ARE A BURDEN TO THOSE WHO LOVE US, BUT BECAUSE THEY DO LOVE US, IT'S A BURDEN THEY DON'T MIND SHARING. I'M SURE YOUR FAMILY FEEL THE SAME WAY. TRY TO STAY STRONG AND FEEL FREE TO SAY WHAT IS ON YOUR MIND ND HEART. YOU HAVE MANY PEOPLE HERE WHO CARE FOR YOU VERY MUCH. I WILL KEEP YOU IN MY PRAYERS....TAKE CARE...AND I'M WISHING YOULESS PAINFUL DAYS....TANYATonia wrote:

I would like to thank everyone for everything. I have found that its usually best for me to not post when I do get like this, because I usually end up sticking my foot in my mouth and make someone very mad at me because of stuff that I say without realizing that I actually say it. I don't mean to.....but, it just happens.

That is why I kind of just disappeared this past 3-4 weeks, so that I didn't offend anyone.

I'm not the type that asks for help usually. I try to take care of everything myself, keeping everything bottled up inside. Thats probably why my pain levels are skyrocketing, because of all of the stress from keeping it bottled up. I just hate the idea of bothering everyone else with my problems, because I know that everyone else has their own problems that they need to take care of themselves, and they don't need mine on top of it.

Guess I've been around my husband too long....he's the same way, he refuses to open up and talk about whats bothering him either, even to me.

Many times I've started an email to the group, to talk about whats bothering me.....and every time, i've just deleted it instead of sending it. Maybe one of these days, I'll actually send it instead.

Thanks again for the help....I do appreciate it more than you know.

Tonia

-------Original Message-------

Tonia...I know some about SSI because my son is on it. As long as you qualify income wise to get even 1 dollar a month all medical is covered...but if you go over the income level then you do lose your medical. You can buy into the medicaid program if that happens for a small fee and get your health coverage like that if you have been approved for ssi but were kicked off because your income level went up or you have more then 2000 in the bank. They do check your bank accounts very 6 months and if for any reason you had more then 2000 in the bank at one time you will owe back the money they sent for that month but the medical coverage from that month will still be in effect..hope this helps some. I know things seem desolate right now...and it's hard to see any positive in your life right now..and I am sure you can't see any positive coming your way in the future..but believe me...it's there..and will always be there..you have wonderful friends in

this group..and you have 3 wonderful children that love you with all their hearts even if they don't always show it...and your husband is sticking in there with you which is more then most men would do...and he cares for the kids when you are unable too...it's because even if he doesn't always show it the way you want him to...he does love you. I am here if you need anything...so is everyone else on here...so don't be afraid to ask...everyone needs help sometimes..and no matter what you think about the world not needing you in it..you are needed more then you can imagine....Hugs..Ginny

[Guest guest]

Tonia,

Ditto, Ditto, Ditto! Every single thing that Ginny just wrote I agree with 100%. We have all been to the point where thinking of Suicide was our only option, because our pain and depression was so bad. In the beginning when I first joined this group, I thought that know one here liked me or even wanted to talk to me and thought about suicide then and put myself in the deepest, blackest whole!!! I also took out my pain and anger out on everyone because I would not let what was really bothering me out in the open until I met Joann from this group. She became very motherly and helped me through a lot of what I was going through. She even made it so that I tried talking to people again and finally started to make new friends, like you and so many others here! You should either talk privately or tell all of us exactly what is on your mind and what is bothering you. I have learned to let my shoulders get bigger and can handle myself

a lot better than I used to. Do not get me wrong, I still get hurt, but will not let anyone walk over me.

I hurt for you Tonia and just do not want to see you in this kind of pain. You have helped so many of us with your advice and information that I do not want to see anything happen to you. You are a good Mom and Wife and can only do so much with this illness like the rest of us. If your husband did not want to be there, he would have left on his own, but he obviously loves you and is there with you, so do not worry, things have a way of working themselves out and I know that they will for you. Your children would be devistated without you, so do not even think like that. You are going through a bad time and you really need to talk. Just know that we are all here for you and you can write to all or to someone privately, but all will listen and try to help!!! Please Tonia be well and know that we are here!!! LOL and Best Wishes Always!!! Take Care my Friend!

Dawn

Ginny Barrientos wrote:

Tonia....Post and vent and get it out...holding it in will just make you explode one day at the most insignificant thing that would never bother you if you weren't holding everything inside. Don't worry about sticking your foot in your mouth..everyone has done that at some point and no one will hold a grudge or take it personally if you vent. When you feel like writing do...even if you don't send it..write in a journal every time you feel like getting it off your chest..give your journal a name so you feel like you are talking to someone other then a book...it does help. Write a letter to the person who you are angry at..your husband...your children...me...lol...and then burn it...but get whatever is bothering you out. I have vented on here..I think everyone has at least once if not more...vent to me in a private letter..will not be offended...swear..scream...whatever..I won't be offended I promise. I know when I try to keep things bottled

inside it just makes me flare up and then i get upset with every little thing...someone could say boo to me and I yell at them...then feel sorry cause it wasn't even them that I was mad at..and it starts to become a cycle. I know when you are so down you can't see the light at the end of it all...but believe me things will get better. Promise me that if you really feel unsafe that you will go to the hospital..tell someone..get help...call one of us...but don't hurt yourself. I think everyone has had thoughts about killing themselves at least once in their lives...but if you really start to think of a plan..and you really can't stop thinking about it..get the help you need and deserve...your kids and husband need you...and love you. I know everyone has stressed all of this before and it might be becoming reduntant...but it's because we all care about you and worry about you..and want you to happy once again. So please vent and I hope you start seeing the

positive in your life..Hugs..GinnyTonia wrote:

I would like to thank everyone for everything. I have found that its usually best for me to not post when I do get like this, because I usually end up sticking my foot in my mouth and make someone very mad at me because of stuff that I say without realizing that I actually say it. I don't mean to.....but, it just happens.

That is why I kind of just disappeared this past 3-4 weeks, so that I didn't offend anyone.

I'm not the type that asks for help usually. I try to take care of everything myself, keeping everything bottled up inside. Thats probably why my pain levels are skyrocketing, because of all of the stress from keeping it bottled up. I just hate the idea of bothering everyone else with my problems, because I know that everyone else has their own problems that they need to take care of themselves, and they don't need mine on top of it.

Guess I've been around my husband too long....he's the same way, he refuses to open up and talk about whats bothering him either, even to me.

Many times I've started an email to the group, to talk about whats bothering me.....and every time, i've just deleted it instead of sending it. Maybe one of these days, I'll actually send it instead.

Thanks again for the help....I do appreciate it more than you know.

Tonia

-------Original Message-------

Tonia...I know some about SSI because my son is on it. As long as you qualify income wise to get even 1 dollar a month all medical is covered...but if you go over the income level then you do lose your medical. You can buy into the medicaid program if that happens for a small fee and get your health coverage like that if you have been approved for ssi but were kicked off because your income level went up or you have more then 2000 in the bank. They do check your bank accounts very 6 months and if for any reason you had more then 2000 in the bank at one time you will owe back the money they sent for that month but the medical coverage from that month will still be in effect..hope this helps some. I know things seem desolate right now...and it's hard to see any positive in your life right now..and I am sure you can't see any positive coming your way in the future..but believe me...it's there..and will always be there..you have wonderful friends in

this group..and you have 3 wonderful children that love you with all their hearts even if they don't always show it...and your husband is sticking in there with you which is more then most men would do...and he cares for the kids when you are unable too...it's because even if he doesn't always show it the way you want him to...he does love you. I am here if you need anything...so is everyone else on here...so don't be afraid to ask...everyone needs help sometimes..and no matter what you think about the world not needing you in it..you are needed more then you can imagine....Hugs..Ginny