Guest guest Posted June 14, 2006 Report Share Posted June 14, 2006 revmartha, Hello and Welcome! You have found a great site here and a great group of people with lots of support and advice. Your story and life are exactly like mine. My daughter started at age 13 and the chaos lasted for five years. She is now 19 1/2 and well! So don't give up hope, we are a success story. My daughter spent time in 7 different facilities, each following a trip to the ER. Meds, therapy, you name it. No amount of meds or therapy would help her. All of the work had to be done at home, changing me to help get her recovered. She now has her own apartment as of June 1st, works full time, she graduated last June and has been doing very well since. Took a lot of effort on our part but it worked. My daughter too, has a step dad in my husband, her father (my ex) was not helpful at all in her recovery, quite the opposite, as he inflicted the trauma that triggered her disorders. My advice to you, change yourself, change your reactions to her actions, think with your head, not your heart. Do not concentrate so much on doting on your daughter, and you must stop enabling her. This is a good thing that she is getting treatment. It all works on her brain and her thinking process. She is chemically imbalanced and needs repair. She will be fine and it can go away. My true feelings on this is they are lacking in serotonin, the naturally produced chemical that is essential for our pyschological and emotional well being. I bought my daughter 5-HTP, a natural supplement containing serotonin. I believe her brain stopped producing what she needed as a result of emotional and psychological trauma. And changing life at home as she knew it. I became a demanding mother, giving her structure, things written down in black and white, as they soon forget what you tell them. I had wished in those five years that I could have found residential treatment for her, but there was none. I ran into brick walls every where I turned. In the end, it is what we did at home that helped her recover. At 18, I kicked her out twice. The 2d time home is when I drew up the contract and sat her down, one on one. It worked. From that day on she didn't miss a single day of school and graduated. I have my little, beautiful, smart, talented, artistic, funny girl back! Know that you are not alone in this. I can truly feel your fear, guilt, anguish, frustrations, anger. They will go away, trust me. Your daughter hopefully is in good hands, as long as they are familiar with personality disorders and can help her. Don't lose faith and don't give up hope. We have some mantras here, Get out of her way, get off her back, give her to God, Get on with your life. Also, the three c's: You did not Cause this, you cannot Control it, you cannot Cure this. I had some mantras of my own: The more I pushed, the more I pushed her away. Don't expect anything and you won't be disappointed. You both need to be supportive of each other and stay healthy. This can totally devastate you, emotionally, psychologically and financially. It can take you to the limits and beyond. Remember, God doesn't dish out to us what we can't handle. You will be fine. Praying for you and your daughter, Hugs, DebbieL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 14, 2006 Report Share Posted June 14, 2006 Amen! We need to hear it often. Milena funnygirl1154@... wrote: revmartha, Hello and Welcome! You have found a great site here and a great group of people with lots of support and advice. Your story and life are exactly like mine. My daughter started at age 13 and the chaos lasted for five years. She is now 19 1/2 and well! So don't give up hope, we are a success story. My daughter spent time in 7 different facilities, each following a trip to the ER. Meds, therapy, you name it. No amount of meds or therapy would help her. All of the work had to be done at home, changing me to help get her recovered. She now has her own apartment as of June 1st, works full time, she graduated last June and has been doing very well since. Took a lot of effort on our part but it worked. My daughter too, has a step dad in my husband, her father (my ex) was not helpful at all in her recovery, quite the opposite, as he inflicted the trauma that triggered her disorders. My advice to you, change yourself, change your reactions to her actions, think with your head, not your heart. Do not concentrate so much on doting on your daughter, and you must stop enabling her. This is a good thing that she is getting treatment. It all works on her brain and her thinking process. She is chemically imbalanced and needs repair. She will be fine and it can go away. My true feelings on this is they are lacking in serotonin, the naturally produced chemical that is essential for our pyschological and emotional well being. I bought my daughter 5-HTP, a natural supplement containing serotonin. I believe her brain stopped producing what she needed as a result of emotional and psychological trauma. And changing life at home as she knew it. I became a demanding mother, giving her structure, things written down in black and white, as they soon forget what you tell them. I had wished in those five years that I could have found residential treatment for her, but there was none. I ran into brick walls every where I turned. In the end, it is what we did at home that helped her recover. At 18, I kicked her out twice. The 2d time home is when I drew up the contract and sat her down, one on one. It worked. From that day on she didn't miss a single day of school and graduated. I have my little, beautiful, smart, talented, artistic, funny girl back! Know that you are not alone in this. I can truly feel your fear, guilt, anguish, frustrations, anger. They will go away, trust me. Your daughter hopefully is in good hands, as long as they are familiar with personality disorders and can help her. Don't lose faith and don't give up hope. We have some mantras here, Get out of her way, get off her back, give her to God, Get on with your life. Also, the three c's: You did not Cause this, you cannot Control it, you cannot Cure this. I had some mantras of my own: The more I pushed, the more I pushed her away. Don't expect anything and you won't be disappointed. You both need to be supportive of each other and stay healthy. This can totally devastate you, emotionally, psychologically and financially. It can take you to the limits and beyond. Remember, God doesn't dish out to us what we can't handle. You will be fine. Praying for you and your daughter, Hugs, DebbieL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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