Betty-

[Guest guest]

Betty-

Please don't be so hard on yourself- I do know the exact feelings you are having

as I too have felt the same. I need to send you Kenny's story ASAP....... if

you feel you are able to read it........... I do not want to upset you

further......... Please e-mail me and let me know........ I remembered , we had

written a bit a while ago but I think due to my computer problems, we went no

further?

I am so sorry about that. I too though- lost a child, age 12....... Not sure

if you remember all that- because of the pause in letters- and also because

there are so many of us in the group- that sometimes------- it is difficult to

remember who went with what, etc.........

Betty- I felt the same exact way when Kenny died and I didn't even know at the

time that he had VEDS nor myself ............. Yet I knew that I had had blood

clots before and many problems that I remember stating, when I was told he was

gone " It should have been me !!!!!!!!! Not Him!!!!!!!!!! I've lived with

clots- bruises, etc, why him? It should be Me !!!!!!!!!! then the OMG, I gave

this to him--------- and may even be handing it down to yet another child or

worse - both of them ! ( After I found out I had VEDS )

Gosh I wanna reach through this computer and hug you...........

You have done nothing to tear your family apart.............

We are all handed our crosses to bear in life Betty- it just so happens your son

was one of the chosen few to be taken into the arms of Jesus for safe keeping ,

along with my son Kenny- where he will no longer suffer in pain............

I too wanted to die along with my boy......... sometimes I still do...........

You will get through this,,,,, even though it seems so difficult but the most

important thing you must do is not blame yourself that your son had

this............... because, he , I am sure is honored to have a mother such as

yourself- and he sure in heck wouldn't want you to feel at fault..............

he has been blessed.............. and so were you........... and even though in

seperate places right now......... one day you will be reunited.......... and

we will all understand why things went as they did.........

Diabeties runs rapid in my family but for some reason , somewhere along the

line, ( perhaps my bio dad - who I honestly never met )- I got pinned with

it........... but ,,,, u know the pain I feel right now, the horrible loss of

sleep- the many nights of severe pain............ knowing My Kenny had this

problem not until after he passed makes me greatful that I am the one going

through the tests/the pain and he did not have to live a life of

suffering............ every Mother wants to take her childs suffering

away............. perhaps this is the reason you and I are still here?

E-mail me anytime you need to talk.......... if You feel up to it, I'll send you

Kenny's story......... Perhaps together, we can lighten the path that we are

left behind to tread, but realizing our babies at least are not

suffering.........

Hugs and Love-

TJ

Hi all

Well yesterday was the second worst day of my life (the first being the death

of our son 10 months ago) The results have finally come back from Seattle and

definitely my son was positive for VEDS as I am, so of course that means that I

had passed this terrible gene to him and it was I who have torn this family

apart and it was I who ripped apart all our hope & dreams. When I heard this

news I wanted to die along with my boy How can I live with myself knowing this

came from me Whyu oh why did this happen??? I started to rebuild my faith after

Danny died and now it shot to hell again I pray to God fro help and all I get is

more grief and now something shows up on my CT of my brain which I then have to

have an MRI which I'll find the results oin Thursday rightnow I hope there is

something. How much more can I take??

Betty