Jo

[Guest guest]

Jo,

Never apologize for sharing your feelings. It is difficult to lose someone

we care about and while time does heal the wounds, they leave life-long

scars that hurt more on special anniversaries.

I lost my dear friend, April, 4 years ago in March and I still miss her

terribly. She died just 20 days shy of her 26th birthday due to

complications of VEDS. Your loss was more profound because Greg was the

love of your life, so it is only natural that you will always miss him and

feel the loss a little more at certain times of the year.

What has helped me cope with losing my friend has been to remember and

reflect on the good times we shared and to honor her memory by carrying on

with my life and helping others with EDS as she had always done. I am sure

there are special things you shared with Greg that you carry on in his

memory. Concentrate on the positive influence he had on your life and

appreciate the time you had with him. And when you need to, cry as much and

as often as you need. There is no time limit on grief and loss. You may

cry less over time, but it doesn't mean there is a day where you have to not

allow yourself to feel the occasional pang of grief.

My family and I planted an iris plant in the front yard when April died 4

years ago. Last week would have been her 30th birthday. On her birthday, I

noticed the very first bud on the iris plant. I expect it to bloom soon for

the first time. I can't wait to see it. Iris were April's favorite flower

and several EDSers who knew her planted iris in her memory. Mine has never

bloomed before. I think it is pretty special that the first bud appeared

around her birthday.

Each year, my mom and I celebrate her birthday with a glass of a favorite

wine. We sip the wine and share memories of her. It's a reminder of the

good times on a day when it is so easy to think of the sadness and loss we

all feel. I tend to think of her more during the 20 days between the

anniversary of her death and her birthday each year. The end of March and

early April is a time of reflection, memory, and sadness for me and I am

sure it always will be. I try not to dwell on the loss, but it is always

there deep down in my heart. Sometimes a special song or a memory will

trigger tears, but that's okay.

To someone who has never experienced the loss of a loved one, it is easy

think that four years is a long time. It is not. It gets easier every

year, but it doesn't just magically go away. Cherish your memories of Greg

and let yourself have time to feel the emotions that are surfacing. Don't

apologize to anyone for feeling blue. Remember, we are your friends and are

here to support you through this.

-Barb

[Guest guest]

Thank you . Yeah, scars don't mean much to me anymore. You should see the

nasty thing they left after my cervical fusion. You can still see exactly where

the staples were! Not pretty, but who cares.

I am very relieved. I am on antiobiotics, with an RX for a stronger one if it

doesn't start clearing up.. In the scheme of things... this is a little bit of

soreness that I'll deal with.

Thanks for the caring..

Hugs,

Jo

[Guest guest]

Barbara,

Tee Hee Hee! How'd you get yourself in triplicate???

Thanks for cheering me on (and up)

Hugs,

Jo

[Guest guest]

Jo - It was tough but where there's a will, there's a way. Notice that I kept pivate things private? I was raised well. Barbarajomal1@... wrote:

Barbara,Tee Hee Hee! How'd you get yourself in triplicate??? Thanks for cheering me on (and up)Hugs,Jo

[Guest guest]

Barbara,

What a wonderful idea! I will certainly " comfort " my hubby tonight, til he

forgets all about the darn test.

He's actually OK with it.. a little annoyed he has to do it again, but confident

he'll get it right the second time! Sounds like men in general... huh?

Hugs,

Jo