Jokes

[Guest guest]

Thanks

Cheryl in CA

From: Gulledge,

Sent: Friday, April 16, 2004 11:49

AM

To: LUPIES

Subject: Dr. Jokes

- A man comes into the ER and yells, " My wife's going to have her

baby

in the cab! " I grabbed my stuff, rushed out

to the cab, lifted the

lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear.

Suddenly I noticed

that there were several cabs, and I was in the

wrong one. " --Dr. Mark

Mac, San

, TX

- At the beginning of my shift I placed a

stethoscope on an elderly and

slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest

wall. Big breaths, " I

instructed. Yes, they used to be, "

remorsefully replied the patient.

--Dr. Byrnes, Seattle, WA

- One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when

I told a wife that her

husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.

Not more than five

minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest

of the family that he

had died of a " massive internal fart. "

--Dr. Steinberg, Manitoba,

Canada

- I was performing a complete physical, including

the visual acuity

test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the

chart and began, " Cover

your right eye with your hand. " He read the

20/20 line perfectly. Now

your left. " Again, a flawless read. Now

both, " I requested. There was

silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the

top line. I turned and

discovered that he had done exactly what I had

asked; he was standing

there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing

too hard to finish the

exam. --Dr. Theodropolous, Worcester, MA

- During a patient's two week follow-up

appointment with his

cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he

was having trouble

with one of his medications. Which one? " I

asked. The patch. The nurse

told me to put on a new one every six hours and

now I'm running out of

places to put it! " I had him quickly undress

and discovered what I hoped

I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty

patches on his body! Now the

instructions include removal of the old patch

before applying a new one.

--Dr. St. Clair, Norfolk, VA

- I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, So, how's your

breakfast this morning? " It's very good,

except for the Kentucky Jelly.

I can't seem to get used to the taste, " the

patient replied. I then

asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a

foil packet labeled " KY

Jelly. " --Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI

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