Kind of long .. another day

[Guest guest]

Hiya ..

Today I went to my pulmonary doctor who wants me to try a whole new

regimen of nebulized drugs .. and wants me to start on injections every

two weeks of something called Xolair.

I am so sick to death of all this crap. You

know .. if I only had a couple of diseases ..

I think I could handle this a lot easier ..

its trying to juggle all the meds and crap for everything I have that

is driving me insane!

I had to fill out a questionnaire today so I could begin treatment with

Xolair for my asthma. I was supposed to list all "ailments, syndromes,

and diseases". I started writing and ran out of room .. so I asked the

nurse

about it .. and she says .. just write down the main ones ..

pfffffttttt ... how in the frick am I supposed to know how to classify

which ones are more important than others??

Asthma

Diabetes (insulin-dependent, insulin-resistant)

Congestive Heart Failure

Cardiac Hypertension

Pulmonary Hypertension

Lupus

Fibromyalgia

Raynaud's syndrome

Hyperlipidemia

Diverticulitis

Degenerative disk disease

Clinical Depression

Osteoarthritis

Migraines

The questionnaire gave me room to list four items. Now you tell me ..

which four would you pick to list .. and which ones would you pick to

ignore as "not a problem"?

So .. sometime in the next couple of weeks .. after blood tests and

stuff .. I should start a course of injections of Xolair. I don't know

that much about it and haven't done a whole lot of research .. yet .

Just figured I would write to let you know what I am up to .. or down

to?

Oh .. get this .. yesterday (Thursday) I got up and weighed in at 207

pounds ( I know .. that is a lot .. but it is better than the 227 I

weighed last month).

In the afternoon I went to the gastroenterologist and weighed in at 208

... no biggie .. figured that pound was the shoes. This morning I get up

and MY scale says 214 .. I get to the pulmonologist's this afternoon ..

and weighed in at 216!!!

I mean . .what the frick!! 8 pounds in 24 hours????? and the doctors

wonder why I get so frustrated and so depressed about losing the weight

that I know is bad for me .. and yet .. really don't have any control

over!!

Last Tuesday afternoon I get a phone call .. my aunt died. She too had

lupus and died at home .. heart attack and renal

failure. Get this .. she gained 78 pounds in 3 weeks from water weight

because her heart and kidneys just couldn't function. She had been in

the hospital but wanted to go home, so they let her.. she died at home,

12 hours later. She literally drowned in her own fluids.

This is what I have in store for me .. and I fricking hate it!!!

I don't want to do this anymore .. I am tired .. really tired..

I think if I had just lupus .. it would be not a big deal ..

but I think my brain is as overloaded as my body and I am fixing to

blow a fuse.

sighs .. sorry .. just feeling a bit

depressed .. and needed to whine I guess..

guess I should be grateful I am still walking around ..

ok .. off to do research on Xolair ..

huggles .. and hope you all are doing ok ..

love you ..