Another Tori?? :)

[Guest guest]

I've done WW way back after my 7y/o son was born and lost but only

got to 155-150lbs. Got discouraged....maintained that range for

almost three years but as I am hitting 35 this year (16 days away...)

I really do want to see what I can get out of and what I can do with

my body and how to challenge myself constantly! I am currently on

my way to 125-122ish. Fourth weeks started Mon - I'm at 145 - very

happy with myself!! BUT....

Here is my problem, and where I got discouraged before....I am one

that if I know I have an inch - I will use it to the fullest. So

having the additional points that I can use if I go over my

PT....it's a BAD thing.....last week I was TWO over my 35 flex!!!

But here I am today....and it's Wednesday....and I am only 4 points

of those flex points. WHEW!! Yesterday at 10:45 p.m. I realized I

still had two points for the day left!! Hadn't even HIT my points

target....You mean I could have FF ICE CREAM?? I instead, went to

bed....much better choice for me. But I did celebrate that little

thing!

My problems seem to be the weekends and the weeks my step daughters

are with us. When I am making meals - IT'S GOOD FOR YOU!! Low fat,

lots of veggies,flavored with home grown herbs,low cal, low

points....and FILLING!! But when the girls are home, dad likes to

cook and he's a butter man. Butter over the just steamed

veggies 'to add some flavor..., butter up those steaks, chicken,

burgers... or mushrooms saute'd over a 1/2 lb butter....(I'm

exageratting...sort of) So I make my own meals - salad, with a

portion of what they're having. But I feel that I'll be doomed when

the cold weather comes tho...he makes this broasted chicken with

mashed potatoes....omg is that good. It is a 4-mile walk just

thinking about it.

I love food - not because it fills me up emotionally - I've not been

an emotional eater - very aware of that, but because I love variety,

veggies, fruits, pastas, meats, and LOVE FISH. Love different

ethnic foods - LaBambas is a HUGE weakness - Burritos as big as my

head!! Love to try different foods from different places. If I had

a do over in the career world - I'd be a chef - but I'd also weigh

400lbs at my heaviest.

A little bit about me...One of my mom's favorite stories - When I

was young (7-8 y/o) my mom had a party at our house with the whole

family - food galore....and guess who phoo phoo'd the fat filled

chips, greasy, cheese, sausage kinda food? Me. I sat eating

carrots, brocholi, cauliflower with the dill dip my mom made from

scratch. I'd ask for salads at resturants by the time I was 8. I'd

walk thru our garden and eat things right off the vine.

Even as I got older, junk food wasn't a big deal - unless I had my

period - I always knew when it was coming - " Ooh, I want SALT!!

GREASE!! " and would devoure a bag of chips, or order a serving of

greasy french fries. But other than that...not big on junk. Just

ate a ton of GOOD food and didn't move my butt from 1990-1994

(highest weight 198 in Sept 94). 1990 was the year I married and

1995 was the year I filed for divorce. Not a good five years.

So in Sept 94, I actually began to walk the two border collies we

had about two miles per day, am walk, pm walk. Started talking

about why I ate....was I hungry, thirsty, bored....not really

emotional....just bored...so let's make food. I also got into

feeding people, if you feed them they love you...right?? (Now

that's emotional - but more them eating, not me) - developing my

cooking skills and became skilled at good, fat filled home cooking.

Fry it and serve it. That WAS my moto.

So I changed things as the weight started to drop off - broil it,

steam it, bake it...don't eat it...veggies...fruits....etc,...etc...

and moved it a lot more! 190...188...175...166(stayed there

forever it seemed)....152....140...139....131.....129.....

120...118... Then started the comments....are you sick...do you

have cancer...you're anorexic...bulemic(ME!?!? yeah, right...Not

even close to the truth - a failing marriage can destroy your

appetite) ....114....So I began to eat more....but choosing healthy

over fried. Let's broil....what a concept! Gained some weight...did

strength training...built some awesome arms...(I was 25...)and had

the ABS I always wanted...and then BOOM - left the ex I was

divorcing and jumped into something worse....and a depression

followed. In Sept 1996 I weighed 126 and looked good, was happy

with that, but my life wasn't in the best place, nor was I. Then I

found out I was pregnant. WHAT?!!? NO WAY!! SHOCK!!

June 1997, when I entered the hospital to deliver...199.9. When I

left; 158. Two weeks later 178. A month after 189. Now THEN I was

eating out of emotional need. Got a great counselor, she hooked me

up with WW, and some serious and painful emotional sorting, packed

up my son and I and left his father in the dust. Not a bad thing

for either of us.

I went for walks every day - 1.5 miles morning 1.5 miles evening.

Dog got skinny (other dog had to find new home when I found out I

was pregnant) ....I started to slim up....kept up with the

counseling. Don't want my child to repeat family cycles. Ate well,

worked out with weights....and slowly...things started to

disappear...by 1999 I was down to 150. I was VERY happy with ME as

a person. I knew I still had a lot to do with myself emotionally,

but I had to look at where I'd been and where I was to appreciate

it. Then I met Mark. :>(BIG BIG GRIN) and he's so very supportive

of me and my weight loss - didn't beleive me until he saw the

pictures. WHOA....wow. Way to go, Tori! But please don't lose

your curves. ;>

I dropped a few years go, because I was working a horrible job and

commuting 156 miles daily and had no time to eat, sleep or live...to

130 lbs in less than 6 weeks. Mark was worried. Gained it

back...no biggie there, but maintained 150-155.

But over the last year, watching the girls develop and change as

they go thru those hormonal cycles we all went thru, I've noticed I

really am a role model to my two step daughters -14 & 16. The

oldest is tall and lean and is bright enough to know what I have

learned, but the youngest needs to learn from someone that eating is

FUEL not an emotional fix and that you need to keep your body in

shape as a life long commitment to yourself - but I best lead by

example since it's unfortunate that their mom is not. (She's lost

87lbs since Jan and it's not her first time that she's lost for an

upcoming event)

My moto now - everything in moderation...and I best move my butt...

Slowly but surely I am changing what we eat...last night - stir fry

sauce, some lean beef, four heads of brocholi and brown rice...The

16 y/o reaction " OOH THIS IS SO GOOD, TORI!! Please make this

AGAIN!! " Thanks!! And it's GOOD for her and ME! - 6pts total!

Now if I could get the 14 y/o to eat something other than garbage

pasta, chips, Mcs and Culvers I'd be happy.

Alright...I'm done....for now!