Re: Hi gang....it's been a while to MM

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your kind words. I think the toughest thing for me is "

acceptance without admitting defeat " . I can't help but miss my old

life. I finally made it..after my divorce and worked my ass off thru

illness to get my degree...only to run into this wall. My vision is

going and I am in constant pain. I know , one cannot keep applying

self pity...just sometimes a good cry is what I need. It just makes

me so damn mad. I'm only 38!!! Have lost vision in 1 eye and now have

to sometimes use a cain to get around! I think if I can just somehow

find my comfort zone, I can start helping people again. Voluntering

for the special olympics is something that would make me feel great.

This too shall pass. Thanks again, Love Pam

> Pam, Even though this family of diseases makes sometimes drastic

changes in

> our lives, there can

> be compensations if we look for them. Being an RN means you have

the skill,

> and now the closeness

> will be there also, to help your parents when they will need YOU.

My

> parents are both dead, now, but

> I am grateful I was able to help them both before they left us. I

am not an

> RN, but I was able to be

> their advocate in dealing with hospitals, doctors, insurance

companies, etc.,

> and it gave me invaluable experience for my own dealings with the

same

> things.

>

> Even though I am still hanging on to independence...for me and my

two

> youngest sons, I know there

> will come a time when I will need a smaller place with less

resonsibility and

> work involved in keeping

> things together. When that time comes, I will gripe and moan, but

I will

> adjust, as I have adjusted to

> the rest of it as time passed by. Lupus isn't a fast death

sentence like it

> used to be, but it is a long

> and sometimes painful and bumpy road. Lots of repairs to the

old " vehicle "

> are necessary in order

> to keep it moving along. Having family and friends for support

through this

> experience is the single

> most important factor in remaining as well as possible in our minds

and

> bodies. Acceptance without

> admitting defeat is also a key factor. We can be realistic

without giving

> in to self pity or letting the

> occasional " pity party " overwhelm and consume us. That's why we

have the

> group, and why it

> continues to grow.

>

> Members may have differences of opinion, may come and go in anger

or

> disappointment over some

> small things, but in the main, this group has saved many lives,

helped people

> find the care they so

> desperately needed, and provided a safe venue for expressing our

fears,

> frustrations, and hopes to

> others who understand. Keep in touch, honey. You know it helps,

and in

> turn, your experiences may

> be of help to other members. I'm so glad you have family

support...both

> from your parents, and

> from this group. We are also your family, you know. Loving

hugs, MM