Jeff Foxworthy on Upstate N Y

[Guest guest]

Subject: Jeff Foxworthy on Upstate New York >

>

> > If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36

> > inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim

> > by, you might live in Upstate New York.

> >

> > If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights

> > each year because Saranac Lake is the coldest spot in the nation,you

> > might live in Upstate New York.

> >

> > If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you

> > might live in Upstate New York

> >

> > If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the

> > year,! you might live in Upstate New York.

> >

> > If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work

> > there, you might live in Upstate New York.

> >

> > If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his

> > forehead, you might live in Upstate New York.

> >

> > If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live

> > in Upstate New York.

> >

> > If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live

> > in Upstate New York.

> >

> > If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who

> > dialed a wrong number, you might live in Upstate New York.

> >

> > YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE UPSTATE NEW YORKER WHEN:

> >

> > 1. "Vacation" means going South past Albany for the weekend.

> > 2. You measure distance in hours.

> > 3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

> > 4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back

> > again.

> > 5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging

> > blizzard, without flinching.

> > 6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including

> > weddings).

> > 7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both

> > unlocked.

> > 8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend/wife knows

> > how to use them.

> > 9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

> > 10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled

> > with snow.

> > 11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and

> > road construction.

> > 12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.

> > 13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to

> > your blue spruce.

> > 14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.

> > 15. Down South to you means Albany.

> > 16. A brat is something you eat.

> > 17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.

> > 18. You go out to fish fry every Friday.

> > 19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

> > 20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

> > 21. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."

> > 22. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all

> > your Upstate New York

> > friends.

> >

> > Sad....but true!!!

[Guest guest]

hehehehehe

> Subject: Jeff Foxworthy on Upstate New York

> >

> >

> > > If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling

through 36

> > > inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food

will swim

> > > by, you might live in Upstate New York.

> > >

> > > If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96

nights

> > > each year because Saranac Lake is the coldest spot in the

nation,you

> > > might live in Upstate New York.

> > >

> > > If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,

you

> > > might live in Upstate New York

> > >

> > > If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of

the

> > > year,! you might live in Upstate New York.

> > >

> > > If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't

work

> > > there, you might live in Upstate New York.

> > >

> > > If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle

of his

> > > forehead, you might live in Upstate New York.

> > >

> > > If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might

live

> > > in Upstate New York.

> > >

> > > If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you

might live

> > > in Upstate New York.

> > >

> > > If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone

who

> > > dialed a wrong number, you might live in Upstate New York.

> > >

> > > YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE UPSTATE NEW YORKER WHEN:

> > >

> > > 1. " Vacation " means going South past Albany for the weekend.

> > > 2. You measure distance in hours.

> > > 3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

> > > 4. You often switch from " heat " to " A/C " in the same day and

back

> > > again.

> > > 5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging

> > > blizzard, without flinching.

> > > 6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events

(including

> > > weddings).

> > > 7. You install security lights on your house and garage and

leave both

> > > unlocked.

> > > 8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend/wife

knows

> > > how to use them.

> > > 9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a

snowsuit.

> > > 10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are

filled

> > > with snow.

> > > 11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter

and

> > > road construction.

> > > 12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.

> > > 13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer

next to

> > > your blue spruce.

> > > 14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.

> > > 15. Down South to you means Albany.

> > > 16. A brat is something you eat.

> > > 17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole

shed.

> > > 18. You go out to fish fry every Friday.

> > > 19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

> > > 20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

> > > 21. You find 0 degrees " a little chilly. "

> > > 22. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them

to all

> > > your Upstate New York

> > > friends.

> > >

> > > Sad....but true!!!