OT: New Definitions

[Guest guest]

This is for my discerning literary friends.........

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again

asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it

by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and then

supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which

lasts

until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people

that

stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer,

unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in

the near

future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the

purpose of getting laid.

5. Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders

the

subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit

and

the person who doesn't get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are

running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got

extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off

all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth

explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through

the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem

smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed

just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that

gets ! into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot

be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn after finding

half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.