Re: LET'S HAVE A GIGGLE- Lana - I'm Baaaack!

[Guest guest]

LET'S HAVE A GIGGLE.

Class 1: How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays.

This class is TOTALLY unnecessary if you women would just learn how

to compromise. WE would be more than happy to spend the money to

buy you one of those high dollar fridges with the ice maker and

water tap if you would just let us put a keg in the veggie hamper

and run the line to the cold water tap.

Class 2: The Toilet Paper Roll. Does it Change Itself?

It must since we have never had to do it. Does it take AA or 9 Volt

batteries? I've always wondered about that.

Class 3: Is It Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting

the Seat and Avoiding the Floor/Walls and Nearby Bathtub?

We wouldn't NEED to lift the seat if you would remember to put it

back up where it belongs when you are done. Besides, you are just

jealous because you never get a chance to knock flys off the rim.

Class 4: Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and

the Floor.

What's a laundry hamper?

Class 5: After Dinner Dishes. Can They Levitate and Fly Into the

Kitchen Sink?

Yes, they can. But every time we try to show you, you say the

plates aren't balls and the sink isn't a basketball hoop. Make up

your mind.

Class 6: Loss of Identity - Losing the Remote to Your Significant

Other.

We don't wear your underwear so why do you think you can take our

remote?

Class 7: Learning How to Find Things - Starting with looking in

the right places instead of turning the house upside down while

screaming.

We wouldn't have to tear the house upside down looking for things if

you would leave them where we put them, whereever it is that we put

them.

Class 8: Health Watch - Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your

health.

Yes, it is. It encourages addictive behaviour. Withdrawal symptoms

from the occasional lapsed memory can be very harmful, especially if

the lapse involves a birthday or other significant anniversary. It

is also progressive, like drugs - first pot, then coke, then crack.

First flowers, then Godiva chocolates, then jewelry.

Class 9: Real Men ask for Directions When Lost.

REAL men don't get lost. They always know exactly where they are,

even if where they are isn't where they want to be.

Class 10: Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly while she

parallel parks?

Yes. It is part of the most basic of human survival instincts. A

more appropriate question would be " Is it genetically possible for

her to parallel park? "

Class 11: Learning to Live - Basic Differences Between Mother and

Wife.

What's your point?

Class 12: How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion.

Never go to malls that don't have an on-site Pub. Again - learn how

to compromise.

Class 13: How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy - Remembering Birthdays,

Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're

Going to be Late.

One's capacity for numbers is limited and should be reserved for

those things that matter, such as batting averages.

Class 14: The Stove/Oven - What it is and How it is Used.

It is a reasonably flat, level surface, upon which one can place the

six packs before putting the individual bottles or cans in the

fridge. It is necessary because the spouse of the house refuses to

compromise and get the combination keg/fridge.

[Guest guest]

LOL!!!! Hey, Mike, I DID love your comments!! Isn't it funny how

male/female minds think so much differently? See, we all had a giggle!

Loved it - Glad I'm able to laugh at myself, I'd be a REAL mess if I

couldn't!!!

Love Lana

Re: LET'S HAVE A GIGGLE- Lana - I'm Baaaack!

LET'S HAVE A GIGGLE.

Class 1: How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays.

This class is TOTALLY unnecessary if you women would just learn how

to compromise. WE would be more than happy to spend the money to

buy you one of those high dollar fridges with the ice maker and

water tap if you would just let us put a keg in the veggie hamper

and run the line to the cold water tap.

Class 2: The Toilet Paper Roll. Does it Change Itself?

It must since we have never had to do it. Does it take AA or 9 Volt

batteries? I've always wondered about that.

Class 3: Is It Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting

the Seat and Avoiding the Floor/Walls and Nearby Bathtub?

We wouldn't NEED to lift the seat if you would remember to put it

back up where it belongs when you are done. Besides, you are just

jealous because you never get a chance to knock flys off the rim.

Class 4: Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and

the Floor.

What's a laundry hamper?

Class 5: After Dinner Dishes. Can They Levitate and Fly Into the

Kitchen Sink?

Yes, they can. But every time we try to show you, you say the

plates aren't balls and the sink isn't a basketball hoop. Make up

your mind.

Class 6: Loss of Identity - Losing the Remote to Your Significant

Other.

We don't wear your underwear so why do you think you can take our

remote?

Class 7: Learning How to Find Things - Starting with looking in

the right places instead of turning the house upside down while

screaming.

We wouldn't have to tear the house upside down looking for things if

you would leave them where we put them, whereever it is that we put

them.

Class 8: Health Watch - Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your

health.

Yes, it is. It encourages addictive behaviour. Withdrawal symptoms

from the occasional lapsed memory can be very harmful, especially if

the lapse involves a birthday or other significant anniversary. It

is also progressive, like drugs - first pot, then coke, then crack.

First flowers, then Godiva chocolates, then jewelry.

Class 9: Real Men ask for Directions When Lost.

REAL men don't get lost. They always know exactly where they are,

even if where they are isn't where they want to be.

Class 10: Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly while she

parallel parks?

Yes. It is part of the most basic of human survival instincts. A

more appropriate question would be " Is it genetically possible for

her to parallel park? "

Class 11: Learning to Live - Basic Differences Between Mother and

Wife.

What's your point?

Class 12: How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion.

Never go to malls that don't have an on-site Pub. Again - learn how

to compromise.

Class 13: How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy - Remembering Birthdays,

Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're

Going to be Late.

One's capacity for numbers is limited and should be reserved for

those things that matter, such as batting averages.

Class 14: The Stove/Oven - What it is and How it is Used.

It is a reasonably flat, level surface, upon which one can place the

six packs before putting the individual bottles or cans in the

fridge. It is necessary because the spouse of the house refuses to

compromise and get the combination keg/fridge.

To learn more about EDS, visit our website: http://members.rogers.com/ceda2/

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