Re: More venting..watch out!

[Guest guest]

hmm.. well, I can't say hey don't feel bad or don't say this or that because I agree with everything you said LOL. there will come a time, I promise you where you will be able to right your body. the problem is, our bodies often heal slower than we want them to especially when there is this nasty thing called thyroid disease. i remember feeling the same exact way you did. the only thing that fueled me from giving up completely was that i knew i couldn't let them win. those people, those 'doctors' who said nothing was wrong with me and i just needed to lose weight or eat better (which i did all the time) and a billion other 'suggestions'. 'I'm not paying you for a suggestion doc, I'm paying you for a cure!!' The only way I was able to start getting better was by playing cat & mouse with my docs. i couldn't figure out completely what they were doing, they couldn't figure that out with me. i knew that had to change. i started researching and looking at everything that they could possibly do for me. i started looking at everything i could possibly do for me. you're telling me to exercise when i can't even walk to the bathroom? yes. I can't. but you know what... i hate saying it but they were right. not on many things but they were right about keeping moving.

i started researching even on days i was foggy, which was EVERY day. if i could only do 5 minutes a day, i did the best 5 i could do, if it was 20 minutes, i did the best 20 i could do. i became determined to make them heal me. i let all of my anger focus on pushing me to be healthy and beating them at their same tired game. honestly, i f*cking hate doctors... i used to think they were great.. NOT after being as sick as I was. yes, there are some great ones out there.. and finding them of course is like a needle in a hay stack. but the crappy doctors... good lord, they're a dime a dozen. remember this... over 1/2 of the doctors in medical school graduate at the bottom half of their class... do you really want to see a doc that makes a c or lower in anatomy? biology? etc?

every day look at what makes you angry and make a list of them. every day look on that list and see what things you can put on THE LIST to work through. if it's laundry, bathroom breaks, exercise, eating better, running a marathon, being healthy, what ever you need to put on there... put them on. then make a list of the things that anger you. too often in life we hold our anger inside of us and that creates anxiety, cancer, pollyps, blackheads, infection, etc. because our body doesn't know what to physically do with the psychological anger. so you have to take this mammoth size rage you have and focus it. i know, i've been there... i swear i have.

once you come up with THE LIST focus that anger every day into crossing off 1 thing from your list. the trick to that is, you have to rewire how you psychologically look at everything. you realize (if you're a complainer) that you stop doing that, if you're a person who doesn't take charge, that will go away to... all of those little things will change you, unless you change yourself first.

another thing that is hard for a lot of people, especially women is that they are lead to believe that they are not worth being healthy or feeling healthy, like they have not earned it. it took me six solid years of being so sick i was a swollen marshmallow before i got that one.. 26 years total!! in that situation,... you'd be surprised what happens when you tell someone 'if you take this little blue gel pill, it will cure all of your problems' or 'if you mush bananas and mix them with doggie poo it will fix all your ailments'.... you'd be surprised HOW many people pass up that opportunity because it's too easy. humans by far are conditioned to believe that the only time they are worth anything is when suffering goes with it. because of that, we short ourselves. what you'll have to ask yourself, if that's you is....

who was the first person to make me feel like i should be afraid?

who was the first person to make me feel like i wasn't worth it?

what types of people are they now?? (i bet they're not happy)

do i want to be like them?? (because you WILL see parallels)

what trigger in my life happened, what event was it that made me believe i wasn't good enough?

what turning points in my life did I decide to be a victim?

who first made me feel like i needed to play the victim roll?

these are many questions that i ask my clients every day. and you know what?? regardless of how successful they are, from business owners to single moms on welfare, they ALL GIVE THE SAME ANSWERS. those questions, if you have the courage to ask yourself (like i said, it took me 26 loooooong years) can help you to refocus and gain your bearings, because god knows... having thyroid disease can really help to take those away.

Good luck love,

and I'll say this again.. if any of you ever need to speak with me about coaching, you are more than welcome to... i don't charge. i'm still obtaining my certifications, but i am insured and as credited as I can be. just email me at life_and_spirit@....

We can take the world by storm!!! The Flying Spaghetti Monster says so!!

More venting..watch out!

I am in need of someone...I don't feel too happy right now. I am busy trying to pull it together. Tommorow I have to go to they thyroid hormone lady with my Mom...who never shuts up. She tells everyone such personal and odd things that have no relevance to anything...and she rambles on and on.She is the woman in "Throw MAMMA from the TRAIN"...I have to call and check to see if the report from the hospital came in and I have to get an out-fit for the potluck dinner... I don't want to go. I want to curl up and sleep for a hundred years.. I'll even grow the beard if I have to. I just need some rest.The garbage men woke me today. I always sleep with the windows open cuz I can't breath through the forced heat which dries out my head and gives me a nasty killer headbanger. THEN....Wed is the trip to mom's GP..who has no clue about thyroid. IT makes me soooo angry...I could spit bullets faster than a gatlin gun at him. NO...I don't forgive the docs.ITS their job to know what they are doing. THEY get the yaughts...THEY should have to provide a service for that....especially since all my money went to them and thier stupidity. Out of my pocket alone...what is it 300 thousand??? And what about compensation for the baby years and the loss of relationship. THAT is surely worth a few hundred thousand..right? I was exceedingly brilliant too. My kids could have been the next Eistein's,cured cancer...did something REALLY worth something....unlike those worthless docs standing around with their thumbs in their pockets.For my apartment I have a blow-up-bed...and I may have a blow-up-chair and a 32-inch flat HDTV screen TV. My mother picked me up the ugliest shower curtain in the world...for 5 bucks at Ocean state Job Lots. I guess the place will feel packed in no time. If I play my cards right...I can stay home all day on Thursday..which is what I'm shooting for. I won't get to rest again till Monday after that. I'm just not up to all this yet. ~E:)