Guest guest Posted July 3, 2003 Report Share Posted July 3, 2003 Hi Aimee!! Yes, I am back my co worker would not shut his trap!!! I was in the middle of the email when he came into my office.. ...paperwork... Has gotten back with her paperwork?? Has anyone heard anything yet?? Hope things are good! ~Aimee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2004 Report Share Posted July 9, 2004 Hi , reading this, tells me you already know what YOU need to do. Personally, this kind of friendship would drive me nuts. I know people just exactly like this. I always call them downers, and I cannot be around them, I am an up person. Downers drain you, and themselves..I am a kind of speak-up person, not brassy or anything, but I hate it when someone trys to drag me down to their unhappy level.. I can do that all by myself if I want to.. You Wrote: She would have a scowl on her face, cross her arms > and have this attitude that just grated on me so badly that I had a hard time concentrating on anything that was happening at the meeting. it seems like I can't say or do anything right. She > misinterprets everything I do according to her insecurities of the > moment. I am with the understanding that this is a long time friend. And I am reading between the lines here, but, you *need* to distance yourself from her. I can understand that you also would not want to deliberately hurt her with words or deeds. So in your personal life you need to start by just not being available all the time. Have other plans that you cannot break. Let go, and your life will will be so much better for it.. what you have described is just not a healthy friendship, when one person is dragging the other one down all the time. I doubt she even realizes how much this hurts you or cares,for that matter. And I doubt that you are the only one she does it to.. When at work, keep a distance.. keep it work related as best you can. Since this is your job and her job, and you say you cannot avoid her here. Keep your personal life out of the office talk with her. Yes you can do it. Just be short with her...heck she can be short with you can't she. ?? So if you can't bring yourself to speak up to her and tell her how you feel, then be unavailabe, don't hang out with her..and this so called friendship will fade into a hopefully polite 'how are you' when you meet away from work.. Please dont take offence, I am just passing some of my feeling here..like I said in the beginnig, this person would drive me nuts... I wish you all the best with this and hope you have the courage to do the right thing for you.... ~~Kallie~ ================================================================= > Hi, > > If you remember when I first joined, I wrote about my friend that had > joined WW with me in February. > > I was really struggling with some issues with her - main one, feeling > like every time we weighed in, it was some kind of competition. But we > never talked about it. The other thing that really got to me is that she > is the most negative person I've ever met. If she weighed in and it > wasn't a good week, I literally felt like I was sitting next to a black > cloud at the meeting. She would have a scowl on her face, cross her arms > and have this attitude that just grated on me so badly that I had a hard > time concentrating on anything that was happening at the meeting. > > Anyhoo, our friendship is a little strained right now (well, a LOT > strained), and we've been going to separate WW meetings. Ever since I > started doing that, I started losing weight again. (after not losing for > 6 weeks!) I really think I was in an unhealthy (toxic) relationship with > her, but didn't know how to get out of it. > > I had some confirmation of that " competitive " thing I was feeling with > her. We were at the Fourth of July picnic together and while we were > watching the volleyball game I said, " Are you going to go play? " and she > said, " No, I'm way too competitive. I don't play team sports anymore > because it just gets ugly, I'm so competitive I can't have fun. " > > Then it hit me....AHA! So I WAS feeling a competitive thing there. It > helped me to know I wasn't crazy. > > Now, I don't know if I should talk to her about it. I don't know if she > cares that we're going to separate WW meetings. She may not even care. > It's hard to say with her. One day she's up, the next she's down...most > of the time, it seems like I can't say or do anything right. She > misinterprets everything I do according to her insecurities of the > moment. > > It's a difficult relationship, not healthy....but I don't know how to > get out of it. Do I just distance myself? Let it kind of die a slow > painful death? I'm more of a " cut to the chase " kind of person normally, > but for whatever reason, I can't be myself with her. > > So how does a person get out of an unhealthy relationship? Especially if > I have to see her and work with her on a regular basis? > > Thanks, > in CO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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