Re: Help with a difficult situation/THANKS

July 20, 2004

WOW! I got some great responses here. Lots to think about. Someone

made a comment about whether or not this is someone I see on a

regular basis. It's not. She lives in California, and I probably see

her about three times a year. We do talk a lot via email and phone,

though. (Although, our phone/email conversations have always been

wonderful.) We used to be extremely close, like sisters. There were

several years through college that we were with each other ALL THE

TIME. Even though we've been separated by miles and marriage for the

past few years, it was this visit where I realized how far apart

we've grown. That's indeed a difficult thing to swallow.

You guys are right that last week's situation (them staying with us

the entire week)could put a strain on any relationship, I think that

was part of it. Also, she has so much going on in her life right now

emotionally. Family relationships falling apart and uncertainity with

her marriage and career. To her defense, I think she was

slightly " jealous " of my success, but not just my weight loss, but

also my marriage, my job, everything. It was probably overwelming to

her. Since she left, she emailed me to let me know she got home

safely. She was her sweet self, thanking me for my patience and

kindness in letting them stay. I don't think I'm going to bring up

the " tension, " but I'm going to focus on just being a good friend. I

will continue to live my life how I need to, without apologies for

chosing to be healthy and strong, but I'll just know that our

relationship may be going through a redefinition period. I need to

realize that that's okay. I've done a world of changing in the past

few years, and it would be abnormal if all the relationships in my

life were to stay the same through that.

It is also hard for me because I care about her so much, but I have

to watch as things in her life are extremely difficult and she makes

them no easier by her unhealthy habits. I know, though, that until a

person is ready to commit to being healthy, there is nothing anyone

else can do except to love them and then be there to support them.

One really positive note, I've definitely made some great online

friends through this journey!

Thanks again guys,

April

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