This day has hit me hard...

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone,

I have tried to stay strong as I know that is what

would want. Her death has hit me so hard. So many things have run through my

mind. I thought of deleting the group, but knew would not have that, I

discussed it with and shed many

of tears as well with her. I know I

said I would be back online tonight but this is just hitting me extremely hard

and just can not pull myself to be online this evening.

I have decided that I would like to dedicate the board in

’s honor. I know she would want us all to stick together, fight

this disease together, and try to not let “the wolf” win. She put

such a fight up against lupus and beat it so many times, that I know we too as

a group can do the same.

She would want us to stay together, and she is probably up

in heaven running around stark naked having a blast J That is the

kind of angel always was, she made everyone laugh, she touched us in so

many ways, and would not in any way want us to fall apart because she finally

went to peace.

Tomorrow is Mike’s birthday, one of which will be

saddened by ’s loss, as he too is devastated at her passing. She

had just had a dream about him over a week ago, and in fact she just had a

dream about me just the other day.

Even though Mike and I did not

meet , we felt very close to her, we both spoke to her over the phone,

and all we can say is “WOW! What an extraordinary lady she was” we

both have held each other many times today and shed many tears over her but I

just can not pull myself together. There is an emptiness

inside me I just can not explain but I am sure many of you can understand.

Well Mike would like for

me to try to relax in the tub as he is worried about me. Please know I will come through this,

and will be here for everyone as I know would want.

May you all have a peaceful evening.

God bless.

Hugs,

Deanna