Tracie

[Guest guest]

Tracie,

I had written down some notes to what you said and I left that in my old USAF field jacket. I don't have that with me now. However, I did went over in the messages area and took notes again.

Just like you said before, there are at times this sarcoid goes in remission or goes into a relapse. I don't know what happened now that brought me comming out and say that I have no value, maybe it was that I was upset about what R. had wrote or a combination of other things I just can't point to what exact thing though.

You said before to take advice about testing and such things. When I thought that what was going on with me was cancer back in about Feb. or March I didn't really care if it was or not. Why? Why, did I feel this way? It is because of this worthless feeling I had of myself just like recently of comes and goes away and comes back and goes away again, etc. All these years of getting this "flack", or crap from different family members such as ", you are a failure" and "You will never amount to anything" and "You don't ever want to work". Yeah, yeah, right anything you family member say, whatever. If I didn't want to work, why would I take a job working for a employment agency for $5.20 (about) an hour in Janurary with 20-25 below zero wind chill and have to walk 4 miles one way in this weather for only two weeks of 24 and 28 hours. Why did I accept working at manufacturing bakery with flour dust, a book bindery with paper dust, a wood door manufacturer with sawdust WHEN I KNEW

FROM ALERGY SKIN TESTING I WAS ALERGIC TO DUST. It was to get money to pay for bills. Why would I drive to Zeeland, Mich and Holland, Mich to look for jobs at about 35 miles away. One was Clock Company where they make Grandfather and Grandmother clocks with chimes and this here again was a place of working with sawdust cutting up wood. These family members trash talking or even verbal abuse cut all the way to my soul & spirit that remands to me to this day. Joan and S. had a different kind of abuse they had stated before and they said they have pretty much got over what happened to them. Everyone in the world should take their hat off and give them a bow for getting over this what happened to them. I feel like I've been brain-

wash what my family have said at times to me in the past. Having flashbacks and feel like I'am being tormented in my memory about these eposidoes comes back to me once in awhile just like recently. Yes indeed I feel like I'am just trash and worthless. When these thoughts creep in this is why I have had these negative thoughts. I had written times that I had care less if I had cancer, seizures, strokes, or whatever, see because having these "bad things" is no big damm deal. There's a part of me who doesn't want to feel this way or talk this way. I'am trying to fight these NEGATIVE THOUGHTS dispite of what everything that has happened these past two months. You and others have said they have and are my friend, WELL IF AND IF THIS IS THE CASE, PLEASE, PLEASE "CUT ME SOME SLACK".

Tracie, you and others have said before go and this testing done, this and that, this and that that get a determination if sarcoid is doing something or not. Remember this past summer that I said I was going down to Ann Arbor V.A. Hospital to see the Neurology dept? Well I did just that. I don't remember the date now, but this was in August. I TOLD THEM ABOUT THIS PAIN IN MY KNEES AND LEGS AT THIS TIME WAS BAD AT TIMES THAT IN MY HEAD I HAVE THOUGHT ONLY IF I HAD A GUN I COULD GET RID OF MY LEGS & KNEES BY SHOOTING THEM. I INSISTED THAT I HAVE THIS NERVE TESTING AGAIN (EMG). THEY AGREED TO THIS AND ALSO THIS NERVE CONDUCTION STUDY TEST AS WELL. BECAUSE OF ALL THE FISACO OF GETTING DOWN THERE OF TRANSPORTATION ISSUES THIS APPOINTMENT WAS CANCELED. I TRIED TO DO THIS AGAIN AT BATTLE CREEK V.A. HOSPITAL BUT I HAD TO TALK TO A LADY DOWN THERE TO ARRANGE THIS AND THIS COULDN'T BE DONE BECAUSE WE HAVE ONLY REBA'S CELL PHONE AND SHE WAS LOW ON MINUTES. I TRIED AND TRIED TO HAVE

THIS RESOLVE BUT HERE'S JUST TYPICAL STUPID NONSENSE IN MY LIFE TO HAVE SOMETHING LIKE THIS DONE. FINALLY A FOUR TIME OF HAVING THIS NERVE TESTING DONE BACK AT ANN ARBOR V.A. AND THEN THE SHUTTLE BUS TO TAKE PATIENTS FROM BATTLE CREEK TO ANN ARBOR AND BACK TO BATTLE CREEK HAD DEVELOPE MAINTENANCE PROBLEMS. NOW I HAVE TO HAVE THIS SCHEDULED AGAIN ONLY, ONLY, FOR THE 5th TIME. IN WHILE ALL THIS HAPPENED I "LOST" TRACK OF DATES FOR THIS MONTH TO SEE THE RHEMY DOC. I END UP NOT GOING TO THIS APPOINTMENT. SAME OL, SAME OL. I have a appt. with Dr.Vande Haar next Monday only for the sole purpose of setting up a appt to see the Rhemy doc. To see a Rhemy doc or anyother specialist doc I have to have a referral from my primary care doc which is Dr. Vande Haar.

All this JUNK that was going in my life, I'd been putting up with unbearable pain at times and I'am out of the Meijer brand of Extra Strength Acemanphen (Tynol like product).

Tracie, I DID AND WISHED TO FOLLOW YOUR ADVICE, THAT'S WHY I WAS TRYING TO RESOLVE THIS NERVE TESTING. BUT I FELT HURT AGAIN FROM YOU, YOU WERE JUMPING TO COLCUSIONS AGAIN AND SAYING ALL THIS CRAP AGAIN THAT I WAS GIVING EXCUSES AND SUCH. IF I SAID THAT "NO ONE CARES", I WAS NOT REFERING TO ANYONE IN THIS GROUP. I WAS REFERING TO THE ATTITUDE OF MY FAMILY MEMBERS AT DIFFERENT TIMES GOING BACK THE LAST 20 YEARS. IF I'AM STAYING HERE WITH THIS GROUP, PLEASE TAKE IN ACCOUNT FOR MYSELF THAT MAYBE AND JUST MAYBE THERE ARE THINGS GOING ON YOU OR ANYONE ELSE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT.

Yahoo! Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free.

[Guest guest]

, I say "Amen" to this!

Love ya,

Marla

, I believe I can feel the pain &

frustration you are going through right now. It comes so clearly

through your letter. You are right in that none of us know everything

about your life & your situation, just as no one knows mine, or

Kim's. But I hope you got the main point of our messages, that you are

loved & valued by many people in this group. No, we are not blood

relatives. But your blood relatives were/are cruel, abusive,

ignorant. What they did to you was criminal. And it's a horrible

betrayal when you don't get love, protection, validation from your own

parents, your own family. Those of us who say we've gotten over it

mean that we have made a decision to move on with our lives & stop

trying to drag the weight of our unhealthy families with us. Does that

mean that we never feel pangs of hurt, disappointment? Hell, no. I

still resent having a father who used me rather than protecting me. I

still ask sometimes, "Why me? Why did I get this father, while other

girls got the good fathers?" When these feelings come, I let myself

feel that pain, that rage, whatever. I cry, curse, whatever I need to

do to release that emotion, then I go on with my life. I call or email

one of my friends who has proven to be trustworthy. Not perfect,

because every one of my friends has let me down at times, just as I

have let them down. The difference between that & my family is

that they regret letting me down, they try to make it up to me; by

their actions they prove to me that I deserve better.

So what do I believe, the negative &

destructive messages from my family, or the loving, encouraging words

from my friends? To me, it's a no-brainer. I'll believe Tracie or Kim

or Joan or Ron any day over my mother, or the memories of my father and

grandparents.

For me, it's not an "all done and it's over" kind

of thing. Almost every day I have to stop an old tape playing in my

head & play something else. When I catch myself saying (to

myself), "You stupid idiot! Can't you do anything right?" I know

that's my dad talking, and I shut off the tape. You can do this.

Sometimes I have to actually picture a tape player or vcr in my head,

and I visualize myself popping out the old tape & putting in

something else. I know it sounds silly, but for me it works.

Whatever you find that works for you, , use it,

every day, every 5 minutes if necessary, until you break the power of

those voices saying all those awful things to you. When you were a

child, they did have power over you, but not any more. Take that power

back. I have never laid eyes on you, but I probably know more about

the real than a lot of people who've known you all your life. You

are bright, you have a gift for writing, you have a sense of

humor. Elvis Presley had an album early in his career called "Ten

Million Elvis Fans Can't be Wrong," or something like that. Well heck,

300 sarcoidians can't be wrong!

Ramblin' Rose

Moderator

Find

just what you're after with the new, more precise MSN Search - try it

now!

-- May the Lord bless us and keep us! May the Lord let his face shine upon us, and be gracious to us! May the Lord look upon us kindly and give us peace! Amen

[Guest guest]

, I say "Amen" to this!

Love ya,

Marla

, I believe I can feel the pain &

frustration you are going through right now. It comes so clearly

through your letter. You are right in that none of us know everything

about your life & your situation, just as no one knows mine, or

Kim's. But I hope you got the main point of our messages, that you are

loved & valued by many people in this group. No, we are not blood

relatives. But your blood relatives were/are cruel, abusive,

ignorant. What they did to you was criminal. And it's a horrible

betrayal when you don't get love, protection, validation from your own

parents, your own family. Those of us who say we've gotten over it

mean that we have made a decision to move on with our lives & stop

trying to drag the weight of our unhealthy families with us. Does that

mean that we never feel pangs of hurt, disappointment? Hell, no. I

still resent having a father who used me rather than protecting me. I

still ask sometimes, "Why me? Why did I get this father, while other

girls got the good fathers?" When these feelings come, I let myself

feel that pain, that rage, whatever. I cry, curse, whatever I need to

do to release that emotion, then I go on with my life. I call or email

one of my friends who has proven to be trustworthy. Not perfect,

because every one of my friends has let me down at times, just as I

have let them down. The difference between that & my family is

that they regret letting me down, they try to make it up to me; by

their actions they prove to me that I deserve better.

So what do I believe, the negative &

destructive messages from my family, or the loving, encouraging words

from my friends? To me, it's a no-brainer. I'll believe Tracie or Kim

or Joan or Ron any day over my mother, or the memories of my father and

grandparents.

For me, it's not an "all done and it's over" kind

of thing. Almost every day I have to stop an old tape playing in my

head & play something else. When I catch myself saying (to

myself), "You stupid idiot! Can't you do anything right?" I know

that's my dad talking, and I shut off the tape. You can do this.

Sometimes I have to actually picture a tape player or vcr in my head,

and I visualize myself popping out the old tape & putting in

something else. I know it sounds silly, but for me it works.

Whatever you find that works for you, , use it,

every day, every 5 minutes if necessary, until you break the power of

those voices saying all those awful things to you. When you were a

child, they did have power over you, but not any more. Take that power

back. I have never laid eyes on you, but I probably know more about

the real than a lot of people who've known you all your life. You

are bright, you have a gift for writing, you have a sense of

humor. Elvis Presley had an album early in his career called "Ten

Million Elvis Fans Can't be Wrong," or something like that. Well heck,

300 sarcoidians can't be wrong!

Ramblin' Rose

Moderator

Find

just what you're after with the new, more precise MSN Search - try it

now!

-- May the Lord bless us and keep us! May the Lord let his face shine upon us, and be gracious to us! May the Lord look upon us kindly and give us peace! Amen

[Guest guest]

,

I also have PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) as Joan has. Mine stems from a verbal and physical abusive first marriage. I too go to those dark places often and get very depressed. Thank God for counseling, I have been seeing the same counselor for 6 years now and I know I couldn't have made it without her. SHe has made me realize what triggers these "attacks of doom" and how to deal with them - the warning signs and how not to fall into the dark, deep hole. As Joan says, sometimes something may set me off - remembering something from the past -and it hurls me back into the claws of depression. Nobody's perfect. I end up sliding back into that deep black hole. But I can climb back out again with my therapist's help and sometimes on my own when I dwell on her methods that I have learned from her. s@... wrote:

These family members trash talking or even verbal abuse cut all the way to my soul & spirit that remands to me to this day. Joan and S. had a different kind of abuse they had stated before and they said they have pretty much got over what happened to them. Everyone in the world should take their hat off and give them a bow for getting over this what happened to them. I feel like I've been brain-

wash what my family have said at times to me in the past. Having flashbacks and feel like I'am being tormented in my memory about these eposidoes comes back to me once in awhile just like recently. Yes indeed I feel like I'am just trash and worthless. When these thoughts creep in this is why I have had these negative thoughts.

, you don't hear from me often. I guess I am just shy and don't speak up that much. But when Joan posted this message, it hit me close to home and I had to agree with her and let you know how much counseling helped me after the abuse. (Mine was mostly verbal abuse, too .) Thinking of you, Debbie

Hi ,

I just wanted to comment on the above after reading your note that is braking my heart even more for you ...

, I don't think I'll ever be over what happened to me for years as a child -- things that changed me which did not allow me to fully grow up normally, and things that changed me in a way that I carried into adulthood and will always carry. What I did say or meant to say is that through counseling, I am able to recognize signs and symptoms of the abuse that still come up in my almost every day life. Being abused has made me ... well, made me so many things ... it has made me way too tolerant of people. As the saying goes, "once abused, always at risk" ... this is the most true statement I have ever heard. I am at risk every day ... but, the difference between now and pre-counseling is that I understand my actions and feelings, and know the signs of being that little girl again, and recognize the signs (sometimes too much!) as I try and deal with things like a healthy adult instead of an abused adult ... living that way when you didn't grow up that way

is difficult ... I have a constant reminder daily and always have to be on guard. So, unfortunately, like I said, I'll never be over what was done to me, just as you will never be over what was done to you ... the difference between us is that I understand my feelings and reactions and only through a lot of counseling do I know how to recognize and what to do with those feelings and reactions. When I become severely depressed very rapidly, I have to think back to the last week and review what happened to send me there ... and I eventually figure it out ... this is really difficult given my short term memory is shot ... trying to remember this morning is difficult, much less that past week.

I hope that made sense ... this is why we all tried to encourage you to get counseling ... it really does help and teach you how to "deal" with previous issues that we are carrying around with us ... , if you are having flashbacks, you are suffering PTSD ... and in desparate need of counseling. That is the stage I went to before those close to me knew something was severely wrong with me...I was in the middle of an emotional breakdown. Counseling is not easy, but so well worth it ... the flashbacks got really bad after I started counseling, but I was warned that would happen. But, they too have subsided with time.

Oh, , I know you have a lot to deal with ... health, financial, marriage, abuse ... I know it is all overwhelming ... but my mental health is much more scary to me than my physical health ... being in those endless, dark places is the worst thing I ever have or ever will experience in life ... I still go there, as you may know if you read any recent posts ... but with time, again, I'm told I will go there less and less ... I'm looking forward to that part!

I do hope you get some counseling now, while you have the time ...

Joan

Yahoo! Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free.

[Guest guest]

,

I also have PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) as Joan has. Mine stems from a verbal and physical abusive first marriage. I too go to those dark places often and get very depressed. Thank God for counseling, I have been seeing the same counselor for 6 years now and I know I couldn't have made it without her. SHe has made me realize what triggers these "attacks of doom" and how to deal with them - the warning signs and how not to fall into the dark, deep hole. As Joan says, sometimes something may set me off - remembering something from the past -and it hurls me back into the claws of depression. Nobody's perfect. I end up sliding back into that deep black hole. But I can climb back out again with my therapist's help and sometimes on my own when I dwell on her methods that I have learned from her. s@... wrote:

These family members trash talking or even verbal abuse cut all the way to my soul & spirit that remands to me to this day. Joan and S. had a different kind of abuse they had stated before and they said they have pretty much got over what happened to them. Everyone in the world should take their hat off and give them a bow for getting over this what happened to them. I feel like I've been brain-

wash what my family have said at times to me in the past. Having flashbacks and feel like I'am being tormented in my memory about these eposidoes comes back to me once in awhile just like recently. Yes indeed I feel like I'am just trash and worthless. When these thoughts creep in this is why I have had these negative thoughts.

, you don't hear from me often. I guess I am just shy and don't speak up that much. But when Joan posted this message, it hit me close to home and I had to agree with her and let you know how much counseling helped me after the abuse. (Mine was mostly verbal abuse, too .) Thinking of you, Debbie

Hi ,

I just wanted to comment on the above after reading your note that is braking my heart even more for you ...

, I don't think I'll ever be over what happened to me for years as a child -- things that changed me which did not allow me to fully grow up normally, and things that changed me in a way that I carried into adulthood and will always carry. What I did say or meant to say is that through counseling, I am able to recognize signs and symptoms of the abuse that still come up in my almost every day life. Being abused has made me ... well, made me so many things ... it has made me way too tolerant of people. As the saying goes, "once abused, always at risk" ... this is the most true statement I have ever heard. I am at risk every day ... but, the difference between now and pre-counseling is that I understand my actions and feelings, and know the signs of being that little girl again, and recognize the signs (sometimes too much!) as I try and deal with things like a healthy adult instead of an abused adult ... living that way when you didn't grow up that way

is difficult ... I have a constant reminder daily and always have to be on guard. So, unfortunately, like I said, I'll never be over what was done to me, just as you will never be over what was done to you ... the difference between us is that I understand my feelings and reactions and only through a lot of counseling do I know how to recognize and what to do with those feelings and reactions. When I become severely depressed very rapidly, I have to think back to the last week and review what happened to send me there ... and I eventually figure it out ... this is really difficult given my short term memory is shot ... trying to remember this morning is difficult, much less that past week.

I hope that made sense ... this is why we all tried to encourage you to get counseling ... it really does help and teach you how to "deal" with previous issues that we are carrying around with us ... , if you are having flashbacks, you are suffering PTSD ... and in desparate need of counseling. That is the stage I went to before those close to me knew something was severely wrong with me...I was in the middle of an emotional breakdown. Counseling is not easy, but so well worth it ... the flashbacks got really bad after I started counseling, but I was warned that would happen. But, they too have subsided with time.

Oh, , I know you have a lot to deal with ... health, financial, marriage, abuse ... I know it is all overwhelming ... but my mental health is much more scary to me than my physical health ... being in those endless, dark places is the worst thing I ever have or ever will experience in life ... I still go there, as you may know if you read any recent posts ... but with time, again, I'm told I will go there less and less ... I'm looking forward to that part!

I do hope you get some counseling now, while you have the time ...

Joan

Yahoo! Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free.

[Guest guest]

Thanks for letting me know, I'll try to get current addresses.

[Guest guest]

It is just I have this inside of me that I take Prednisone or it's "cousins" of like simliar drugs that I'll go down that road that I don't like pertaining to my stomach that is. , check out this site: www.arthritis.org and go to the Drug Issue for Jan/Feb of this year. It gives you the names of the different meds, and it will explain the Prednisone steroids and the "Steroid sparing" meds-- MTX being one of them. Even if you never get on any of them, this is a good place to look at to explain how they work.

My not so involve type of breathing test showed no bad situation going on with my lungs today. When I had that nerve testing a few weeks back, the tests showed not much changed in this area as well. At least the disease isn't progressing in your lungs or legs-- but we both know that you're having a harder time than you were. And it still doesn't make it so you could hold down a full-time job. Follow-up on that SSDI.

Yet I very well be taking Prednisone for this inflammatary pain in both of legs and

both of my knees. No one can change my opinion about this that in my situation it always has been, now, and will be nothing but a "lose,lose" situation scenario taking Prednisone or not taking Prenisone. Ok. I won't try to change your mind.

And this matter of helping Kathy & Reba doing these paperoutes. If and if I take Prednisone, the shuting down of the immune system of the side affect it does will make me so acceptable to colds, etc. especially now that winter weather is here. I have to be healthy as much as possible. WE HAVE ENOUGH STRESS IN OUR LIVES AS IT IS, SO WE DON'T NEED MORE BY ONE OF US NAMELY MYSELF BE SICK THAT CAN'T HELP OUT ON THESE PAPEROUTES. WERE USING THE MONEY FROM THESE PAPEROUTES TO PAY ON OUR RENT, UTILITIES, ETC. I understand. It is scary to think that the only way you're getting by now, could end if you got sicker-- then where would you be. That's why it's so important to get an attorney to help you with the SSDI. Remember, you don't have to pay these kinds of attorneys until they win for you. Then they get a portion (12% I believe- it's regulated).

I didn't go to that appt. with Claryse at the mental health portion of the V.A. clinic like I stated in my e-mail you responded to. I was suppose to be there at 9:00 a.m. I just screwed up. I should had this time written down on one of my appt. cards for various V.A. appts'. I'am just getting to mix up at times in keeping things straight and writing them down on a calender by our mircowave. , this is what neurosarcoidosis can do to our brains. We get mixed up so much easier than most people-- and that makes it so that working is out of the question-- You can't make mistakes like this on the job.

Okay, I deserve the rath of a barn yard dog or the Tassmenian Devil (cartoon

character one or the real thing from Australia).LOL! This could be arranged! I had only about 4 hours sleep the night before. This was because I got involve in tackling those dishes piled up high around the kitchen sink. I write something about this and you and others would understand about this and other sorted fiscals.

I heard this term, "Sierra Concrete", years and years ago refering to the heavy wet snow that falls alot of times in the winter months in those mountains. Beautiful, amazing, cold, and deadly. We've spent whole days sitting on the roadside waiting for the plows to come thru so we could go skiing up at Alpine Meadows. Good Times for sure! It just I didn't mentioned this term in that e-mail. The winter that this area got 800 inches of snow, I seen pictures of this in Ski Magazine or maybe it was Skiing Magazine. One picture of Alpine Meadows had the chairlift going up in a "canyon" because the snow was so deep. Twenty feet higher than the top of the chairlift tower was the level that a person could walk on the slopes!!!!!!!!!

"Snow as gold", is just what people who live & work out there in the mountains where these resorts are think this snow is. People in the service or hospitalilly businesses just as hotels, restaurants, bars, etc. See it is their source of income or livelyhood when tourists come to these various places for recretational activities winter or summer or yearound.

Bye,

[Guest guest]

It is just I have this inside of me that I take Prednisone or it's "cousins" of like simliar drugs that I'll go down that road that I don't like pertaining to my stomach that is. , check out this site: www.arthritis.org and go to the Drug Issue for Jan/Feb of this year. It gives you the names of the different meds, and it will explain the Prednisone steroids and the "Steroid sparing" meds-- MTX being one of them. Even if you never get on any of them, this is a good place to look at to explain how they work.

My not so involve type of breathing test showed no bad situation going on with my lungs today. When I had that nerve testing a few weeks back, the tests showed not much changed in this area as well. At least the disease isn't progressing in your lungs or legs-- but we both know that you're having a harder time than you were. And it still doesn't make it so you could hold down a full-time job. Follow-up on that SSDI.

Yet I very well be taking Prednisone for this inflammatary pain in both of legs and

both of my knees. No one can change my opinion about this that in my situation it always has been, now, and will be nothing but a "lose,lose" situation scenario taking Prednisone or not taking Prenisone. Ok. I won't try to change your mind.

And this matter of helping Kathy & Reba doing these paperoutes. If and if I take Prednisone, the shuting down of the immune system of the side affect it does will make me so acceptable to colds, etc. especially now that winter weather is here. I have to be healthy as much as possible. WE HAVE ENOUGH STRESS IN OUR LIVES AS IT IS, SO WE DON'T NEED MORE BY ONE OF US NAMELY MYSELF BE SICK THAT CAN'T HELP OUT ON THESE PAPEROUTES. WERE USING THE MONEY FROM THESE PAPEROUTES TO PAY ON OUR RENT, UTILITIES, ETC. I understand. It is scary to think that the only way you're getting by now, could end if you got sicker-- then where would you be. That's why it's so important to get an attorney to help you with the SSDI. Remember, you don't have to pay these kinds of attorneys until they win for you. Then they get a portion (12% I believe- it's regulated).

I didn't go to that appt. with Claryse at the mental health portion of the V.A. clinic like I stated in my e-mail you responded to. I was suppose to be there at 9:00 a.m. I just screwed up. I should had this time written down on one of my appt. cards for various V.A. appts'. I'am just getting to mix up at times in keeping things straight and writing them down on a calender by our mircowave. , this is what neurosarcoidosis can do to our brains. We get mixed up so much easier than most people-- and that makes it so that working is out of the question-- You can't make mistakes like this on the job.

Okay, I deserve the rath of a barn yard dog or the Tassmenian Devil (cartoon

character one or the real thing from Australia).LOL! This could be arranged! I had only about 4 hours sleep the night before. This was because I got involve in tackling those dishes piled up high around the kitchen sink. I write something about this and you and others would understand about this and other sorted fiscals.

I heard this term, "Sierra Concrete", years and years ago refering to the heavy wet snow that falls alot of times in the winter months in those mountains. Beautiful, amazing, cold, and deadly. We've spent whole days sitting on the roadside waiting for the plows to come thru so we could go skiing up at Alpine Meadows. Good Times for sure! It just I didn't mentioned this term in that e-mail. The winter that this area got 800 inches of snow, I seen pictures of this in Ski Magazine or maybe it was Skiing Magazine. One picture of Alpine Meadows had the chairlift going up in a "canyon" because the snow was so deep. Twenty feet higher than the top of the chairlift tower was the level that a person could walk on the slopes!!!!!!!!!

"Snow as gold", is just what people who live & work out there in the mountains where these resorts are think this snow is. People in the service or hospitalilly businesses just as hotels, restaurants, bars, etc. See it is their source of income or livelyhood when tourists come to these various places for recretational activities winter or summer or yearound.

Bye,