Re: Re: Help with a difficult situation/THANKS

[Guest guest]

G'day April

I never really got a chance to really respond to this the other

day.

In a way I understand how your friend feels, although I have

never been jealous (sorry mate, but she is definatly jealous) of

my friends who I have watched lose weight and maintian it. I

have been envious, but never jealous. I know how hard it is to

lose weight and maintain it so would never want to undermine

someone's determination and will to be successful.

Be yourself and definatly BE PROUD of your achievements.

People are so willing to pull you back down to their level just so

they can feel better. Don't let your friend do this through guilt.

Deep down she is probably wishing that she had the willpower

and strength to be like you. Keep setting that example April

and who knows, maybe she will get her act together with her

health when the time is right for her.

If she is a true friend she will love you no matter what. Do you

love her any less because she is overweight????? I think not.

Take care of yourself and keep up the great work!

Bel

---- Original message ----

>Date: Tue, 20 Jul 2004 15:20:31 -0000

>

>Subject: Re: Help with a difficult

situation/THANKS

>To: Serious-Weight-Watchers

>

> WOW! I got some great responses here. Lots to think

> about. Someone

> made a comment about whether or not this is someone

> I see on a

> regular basis. It's not. She lives in California,

> and I probably see

> her about three times a year. We do talk a lot via

> email and phone,

> though. (Although, our phone/email conversations

> have always been

> wonderful.) We used to be extremely close, like

> sisters. There were

> several years through college that we were with each

> other ALL THE

> TIME. Even though we've been separated by miles and

> marriage for the

> past few years, it was this visit where I realized

> how far apart

> we've grown. That's indeed a difficult thing to

> swallow.

>

> You guys are right that last week's situation (them

> staying with us

> the entire week)could put a strain on any

> relationship, I think that

> was part of it. Also, she has so much going on in

> her life right now

> emotionally. Family relationships falling apart and

> uncertainity with

> her marriage and career. To her defense, I think she

> was

> slightly " jealous " of my success, but not just my

> weight loss, but

> also my marriage, my job, everything. It was

> probably overwelming to

> her. Since she left, she emailed me to let me know

> she got home

> safely. She was her sweet self, thanking me for my

> patience and

> kindness in letting them stay. I don't think I'm

> going to bring up

> the " tension, " but I'm going to focus on just being

> a good friend. I

> will continue to live my life how I need to, without

> apologies for

> chosing to be healthy and strong, but I'll just know

> that our

> relationship may be going through a redefinition

> period. I need to

> realize that that's okay. I've done a world of

> changing in the past

> few years, and it would be abnormal if all the

> relationships in my

> life were to stay the same through that.

>

> It is also hard for me because I care about her so

> much, but I have

> to watch as things in her life are extremely

> difficult and she makes

> them no easier by her unhealthy habits. I know,

> though, that until a

> person is ready to commit to being healthy, there is

> nothing anyone

> else can do except to love them and then be there to

> support them.

>

> One really positive note, I've definitely made some

> great online

> friends through this journey!

>

> Thanks again guys,

> April

>

>