Re: I am sad

[Guest guest]

--- Terri wrote:

> I have seen people come and go on this board during

> my year and a

> half, and it always saddens me. First of all, I

> KNOW I will

> probably get blasted for saying what I feel, but I

> think we all have

> a right (or SHOULD have a right) to our own opinion

> without being

> lectured on what someone else believes. I AM a VERY

> SERIOUS WW.

> However, I do hope that I can be understanding and

> empathetic of and

> to anothers needs and confusion and ramblings

> without making them

> feel worse and lecturing them and ultimately making

> them " leave " . I

> have seem this happen about 4 times since I have

> been a member and

> each time (other than the SPAM people) I have felt

> bad.

I actually learned about group dynamics in Psychology

class yesterday. There tends to be a (or several)

Gatekeeper(s) who try to keep others from joining the

group or to discourage people from staying with the

group.. other Gatekeepers try to get new members to

join the group. The Gatekeepers also have no clue that

they are doing this (well, the recruiting..and they

may realise they are discouraging jerks on purpose).

Just some insights.

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I agree. I am a list moderator of other lists and have been on various lists

for over six years now. It seems to me that there are just certain

personality types that tend to take things the wrong way then post a public

tantrum letter to the group and then immediately unsub. They don't want to

hear that they misconstrued what someone else posted, they don't want an

apology, they just want to throw their fit and go off in a huff. I'm not

saying that everyone that has ever unsubed from this list that was the case,

but it does happen pretty frequently on these groups. As list general list

members we aren't privy to seeing when a person unsubs unless they come out

and say they are going to. As a moderator you get to see them post their

letter and then without waiting for replies they unsub. On one list I'm on a

lady does this about every three or four months so as moderators we decided

not to let her sub back onto our list. All she does is hang around long

enough to get offended by someone's post, throws a big public tantrum that

gets the whole list upset, and then she unsubs. I have very little respect

for people that stir up controversy and then leave without working out their

disagreements. Most of us on this list are adults (as far as I know) and we

should be able to disagree or debate issues without acting like

kindergartners. Yes, occasionally people can be down right mean and hurtful

(just like in real life) but it's usually just a misunderstanding because

someone read the wrong tone into a post.

Kris

_____

From: Cathy on

Terri,

It is sad when people choose to unsub BUT they chose

to leave the list. I haven't seen a single post

recently telling someone to unsub. Email doesn't

convey all the nonverbal aspects and some individuals

leave in the " heat " of the moment. I see it all the

time on lists. People don't agree and if one chooses

to post something to a list, surely they have to

expect some disagreemment of opinions. That's the

beauty of the delete button.