Re: TORY & OTHERS

[Guest guest]

I have lost and kept off 100 pounds, but it wasn't until I stopped hating

myself and aiming my barbs and arrows at myself that I was able to do it and

do it right. See there was no value in Tory. She was a loser. She was fat.

She was disgusting. She wasn't worth the effort it took to take off weight,

much less keep it off. My aunt gave me some pictures of me from high school

this weekend and I looked at that beautiful, thin girl and remembered that

in my mind's eye I was FAT FAT FAT and ugly and worthless. You know Tory, you

sound just like me.

In high school I dieted all the way through, always thought I was so fat &

therefore, I was a shy little

wallflower. I was recently going through some pictures & I saw one of me in my

graduation dress - - - and

I wasn't even overweight!!!! & yet I had wasted all my H.S. years thinking I was

FAT & not worth much. Wow,

how one's eye can deceive us sometimes, huh?

It almost kills me to admit that because I've always wanted to exude self

confidence, but I didn't. I didn't feel worthy of so many things. I was the

" loser " of the family and I put myself in that spot, because I was fat. I

practically BEGGED for friendship and attention from inappropriate people,

because I was fat. I didn't think I should even try to accomplish certain

things I yearned for, because I was fat. You are writing my STORY, especially

about wanting to exude the self confidence, be so at peace with myself, everyone

around love & like me, yada, yada

I hear that same thing in your post. You are angry with yourself and you

just want to scream. You know the MECHANICS of weight loss. We all do. Eat

less, move more, lose weight...easy. But the psychology of weight loss goes

SO much deeper. SCREAM is exactly what I wanted to do when I wrote that post.

I didn't even bother to reread what I had posted, but wondered about it later &

thought oh no, did I say something that will make someone mad? That is why when

I went to bed, I talked to my husband only a minute, then abruptly turned & said

good night. I was afraid if I said anything else I would start screaming, plus

I had nothing else to say, which is unusual for me. lol

First you have to believe you're worth it.

You have to believe you can do it.

You have to love yourself so fiercely that you can't NOT do it because

taking care of your body is an act of self love.

Then you come here and you say " Help! I need support and SOMEONE will be

there for you. I promise. "

As for posts about running and weight loss...hey, that's what I need. I need

to be able to say to people who UNDERSTAND what it's like to go from 222

pounds to making goal " I ran three miles today! " because you know what?

People who have always been thin and athletic don't understand one bit what

a miracle it is to me Tory, when I posted, I will admit I didn't realize the

value of you being

able to post about your successes. Just from reading what you have said tonight

though, I can see

exactly why you are so excited. I would be excited about walking even a mile

right now!

And you know what? Someone who is

new and struggling will read that and

think, " Wow, I so admire Sharon. OR, else saying 'I sure wish she would shut up'

because Tory, as I said, I

never gave any thought to how one feels about doing something for the first time

in their life. I know now I

would be full of exhiliration & want to share too.

Tory, I really want to offer you my heartfelt 'THANKS' for your posts

tonight. They have meant something to me,

they have touched me, I appreciate you taking your time to encourage me & I

really relate with a lot of what you

said.

Bless you,

Sharon

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