Vera/ Right to privacy and younger children

[Guest guest]

Hi Vera,

You mentioned making arrangements for your children during your

surgery. How did you present this topic to them? I have 2 daughters

(ages 6 & 7) whom I have not told yet. I am waiting until I have a

surgery date before I bring up the discussion.

I want to be completely up front with them about what is going to

happen to Mommy and why. However, they still do not quite grasp the

concepts of discretion and privacy. We live in a very small, rural

town and I can easily see how rumors and misinformation might spread

via school children. I know I am being overly paranoid, but how do I

emphasize the privacy aspect with my children without turning this

into some kind of " big, dark secret " ? The last thing I want to do is

alarm them...

Can anyone share how they approached this subject with their young

children?

Thank you for the input, Vera. BTW - I am having a consultation appt

with Dr. Pomp on 2/27 - any insight on what to expect?

Terri Hassiak

BMI 60

http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=H980366398

email: bunsofluff@...

> Terri,

> I think it all depends on your own situation. For me I needed help

in

> child care and getting kids to and from activities while having my

sister

> here at home base so I decided to tell everyone that I was asking

for

> help from and the teachers at schools so that on the day of my

surgery

> they could keep an extra eye and ear on my children. I also think

the

> more people I was sharing this with the more support I got. So I

just

> kept telling people.

> Most people are supportive, the ones that are not ask allot of

questions

> and I answer to best of my knowledge. Most understand that if I

continued

> on the tract I was going I would have been dead in 10 yrs or so. I

> originally felt the same way that I wanted to not tell anyone but

then I

> decided I wanted as much support for me and my DH and kids as I

could

> get. You have to make this decision for you. Only you can decide

what is

> right for you and your family. Good luck!!

>

>

> Vera- Lansdale,Pa

> Bmi-61

> Dr. Herron / Dr. Pomp assisting @ Mt. Sinai, New York

> Open BPD/DS done 01/26/01

> 3 week check -25lbs gone forever

[Guest guest]

With both my children (12 & 7), and co-workers to whom I was not

close, I explained that I needed to have some stomach surgery, that

the problem was not life-threatening, but it was necessary. With the

kids, I also let them know that the surgery would leave me a little

weak and tired for a while, that it might change what I could and

couldn't eat for some time, and that the changes might mean I would

lose some weight. We talked about whether life would be easier for

me without the weight. Once the kids were convinced that I did not

have cancer, and was not going to die, they were quite happy about

the proposed changes.

At work, when people express a sincere interest in how I've lost the

weight, I do not hesitate to tell them. For the casual " Boy you look

great, how'd you do it " , I tend to respond " it was a long, painful

process, and if you really want to know come by my office sometime

and I'll tell you. "

Kate

[Guest guest]

I have a young son, who is a bigmouth to put it bluntly (hmmm, wonder

where he gets it from).. .. we just explained to him right from the

very beginning little by little.. first it was mommy is going to see

the doctor.. and then we just added more and more, like my trip to

atlanta, and that he is going to stay with aunt chrissy while we're

away, but that we'll be back .. and we just include him with plans so

that the day it happens he'll not be shocked.. there is no reason to

be too detailed.. being honest does not mean you have to show them

diagrams.. i think the key is to make it out to be a normal occurence

but that its mommys personal business not to be discussed outside the

home.. too much rukus over it just makes it out to be something to

talk about..

> > Terri,

> > I think it all depends on your own situation. For me I needed

help

> in

> > child care and getting kids to and from activities while having

my

> sister

> > here at home base so I decided to tell everyone that I was asking

> for

> > help from and the teachers at schools so that on the day of my

> surgery

> > they could keep an extra eye and ear on my children. I also think

> the

> > more people I was sharing this with the more support I got. So I

> just

> > kept telling people.

> > Most people are supportive, the ones that are not ask allot of

> questions

> > and I answer to best of my knowledge. Most understand that if I

> continued

> > on the tract I was going I would have been dead in 10 yrs or so. I

> > originally felt the same way that I wanted to not tell anyone but

> then I

> > decided I wanted as much support for me and my DH and kids as I

> could

> > get. You have to make this decision for you. Only you can decide

> what is

> > right for you and your family. Good luck!!

> >

> >

> > Vera- Lansdale,Pa

> > Bmi-61

> > Dr. Herron / Dr. Pomp assisting @ Mt. Sinai, New York

> > Open BPD/DS done 01/26/01

> > 3 week check -25lbs gone forever

[Guest guest]

Kate

Sounds like a great way to do it!

I love your response to the casual hey how did you do it.

If they are interested in you they'll want to hear. If not they

shouldn't

know anyway!!Great job.

Vera- Lansdale,Pa

Bmi-61

Dr. Herron / Dr. Pomp assisting @ Mt. Sinai, New York

Open BPD/DS done 01/26/01

3 week check -25lbs gone forever

________________________________________________________________

GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO!

Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less!

Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit:

http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagj.