what would be the outcome? Beware lengthy LOL

[Guest guest]

Hi guys

I have a question..but then again when dont I lately?? LOL. Anyway,

I've been given a copy of the IME and I pretty much know what the

outcome of all this is going to be...UR and my case manager are going

to probably insist that I return to my original job with all these

modifications and restrictions....this would be fine with me EXCEPT

first of all I know my co-workers and for lack of a better word..they

S%$K...so when they learn Im on permanent mod duty they are going to

start griping and moaning about it, second I work in a

retirement/nursing facility where as an aide you are required to do

alot of hands on to ALOT of residents (my charge load was usually 10-

15) depending on their abilities...third I would have to assist in

stuff like buttoning, putting on shoes etc that require fine motor

which I no longer have, fourth they are unpredictable and if you dont

meet their demands at that moment they will do for themselves setting

me up for falls and incident reports (getting assistance from another

aide is just not a happening thing cuz they all seem to hide) fifth I

cant imagine pulling a full day, lifting trays, making more than a

bed or two and doing all this on no meds because its against

policy....with this all said its going to be impossible for me to do

all this..even on my best days...

Anyway, heres my question....can I resign from my position at the

facility and have a personal insurance take this on forgoing anymore

treatment in replacement of a regular sitdown job that would require

less stress on my body? I'm doing ok these days but can never ever

return to my previous job and dont want to do mod duty forever! I did

that for the better part of 5 months after injury and was forever

getting the looks cuz I couldnt carry my share, I ended up in the end

doing far mor than my restrictions allowed and it will happen again

if I return. My case manager keeps telling me to just say no, but you

CANT..this isnt a computer terminal or a late job deadline..this is

human life and Im trained to do all I am able to keep them safe,

clean, fed and entertained.

Can you all tell this weighs heavy on my mind? I dont want to stay

home but I cant see the return being good.

I obviously know the response to my previous question but it doesnt

stop me from debating its options and taking the hit...

Sorry for the rambling and the long book, Im sorting out my thoughts

and chewing it over with you guys as I trust everyones opinions and

ideas here much more than my familys at the moment...after all this

time it still doesnt sink in that this is who I am for now and may be

for sometime to come and Im struggling just as hard as they are or

harder...*sigh* dont see this as a pity party lol..just needed to put

it all to words and find some place to voice my concerns where they

arent met with well you need to be out of the house doing something,

you need to be active and stay strong, face the finance issues that

Im aware of and deal with the intense desire to throw in the towel

and just say the hell with it all!

Thank you guys, I apologize for the lengthy ranting of a bundled mind

who is now going to seek solace in a class that shes been dying to

attend for months...thank you guys, HUGS and love ya all!

HUGS

Donna