body image

[Guest guest]

I have three beautiful teens who have nice bodies.

Not petite, but medium. Their bodies are very

different, but they can wear the same sizes (7-11)

depending on the style and make of the clothes. They

are tall 5'6 " - 5'10 " . I often tell them that what

they have on " looks nice on them " but I will become

more active in promoting a positive body image. My

youngest worries me for she has my appetite and is

large boned. At birth and during her first couple of

years of life, the doctor always said, " What a big

baby. " She was never chubby, but off the charts in

terms of height. She is twelve and 5'9 " . I worry but

am ever so careful of what I say so that she does not

become a compulsive eater or anorexic based on a poor

body image. She hates things about her body. She is

so much taller and larger boned (but not overweight)

than her friends but I try to normalize it for her by

reminding her that the others will catch up in a few

years.

Thanks for the reminder about being a good mom. I

never want my kids to have to go through morbid

obesity and gastric bypass if I can help it. Although

it has been literally a life saver for me, I would

rather they not have to go that route.

Joanne

--- lacorona@... wrote:

> (sometimes my computer sends mail before I am done

> writing it....goblins, you

> know....grin)

>

>

> When the body keeps growing past the point of many

> other persons' bodies, it

> seems that the psyche, defensively or otherwise,

> tunes out what the body

> realy looks like, what space it actually takes up.

>

> But remember this, amongst non-GB people, most

> people are not aware of how

> large or small they are, even when they are within

> the normal range. If I had

> a salmon for every woman and man in my consulting

> room who, being " normal "

> weight, thought they were too big (women) or too

> small (men) why I could open

> a fresh fish market.

>

> I tend to see this so called distortion of body

> image as the result of not

> enough mirroring by those who love this person, not

> enough reflection, not

> enough kindness, not enough validation. Fortunately,

> this can be fixed.

> However,

>

> it is true, that the " body compliments " for heavy

> children stop, thereby the

> mirroring stops too as the parent usually tries not

> to comment at all, or

> else says incredibly hurtful things that the child

> cannot bear to hear about

> their size (and how life will turn out for them, and

> what their horrible fate

> will be and all those other evil haggy things that

> despairing parents who

> have turned into demons say to their own offspring.)

>

> Someone here had it right when their husband put

> them before a full lenth

> mirror (what a guy!) and told them they were

> " small " -bodied now. He was

> mirroring the body of his wife to herself,

> literally. He did it with love.

> These together, are two of the interventions needed

> to overcoming the

> distortion re body image.

>

> Though women sometimes bond with each other by

> complaining about " how big I

> am, " when in fact they are NOT, (perhaps as a way of

> decreasing

> competitiveness between women) the fact is that each

> soul has the right to

> see themselves as whole, regardless of size, and to

> see themselves accurately

> and without self-loathing, regardless of size or age

> or condition. This is

> God-given to all of us. We all try to creep closer

> to this God-given gift

> regarding th body, as we repair and mend our poor or

> distorted images of

> ourselves. Standing before mirrors with a trusted

> other and hearing words of

> caring and truth is something we can do for each

> other.

> This is a wholly worthy eandeavor. And it is not

> vain. It is blessed.

> love,

> ceep G-MOM

>

>

> Homepage:

> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>

> Unsubscribe:

> mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

>

>

>

>

>