Guest guest Posted December 9, 2001 Report Share Posted December 9, 2001 hey all. i am getting more okay with the non-aa lifestyle. although, i feel like i've been so dependent on people telling me what to do and having this ready made group of people to gripe to that i feel a bit out of sorts. like am i enough? don't i need some parameters in my life? of course i do, but this is so weird stepping out into the world free like this. last nite i had 3 beers. that's it. just three. i didn't wake up in a drunken haze, but some how it seems that morality of being " clean " has rubbed off on me. It's something easy you can do to purify yourself of evil. I'm not religious so it's weird how i got all this stuff in my head. i used to party to excess, but what i really needed was someone to help me with self esteem issues and give me some life coaching and ability to trust myself. i dunno. i'm rambling a bit. i'm around my family and have no way to escape and go to a meeting anymore, so i just have to deal. i went jogging yesterday, so i felt okay having some beers. normal people take care of their bodies and they are okay to enjoy a relazing beer. it's wholesome. that's what i have to get that in my head. it's wholesome. i'm wholesome. there's nothing fucking wrong with me! This is gonna take some work. :-) I feel like I've been a recovering catholic or something. no offense to the catholics here. :-) ki Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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