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> Lyn, I am sorry that your RSD came back. I guess there is no escaping it. The

positive is you did have remission for a while. I guess we should take advantage

of every good day. I live in North Louisiana and it seeems that everyone in this

group lives so far away. JoAnn lives about 6 -7 hours away and I don't know if I

can make that drive alone. I wish I had someone here, just as you said to hug

and cry with me. Thank goodness for this group. They have helped me so much. I

am still having a flare-up and in a lot of pain. I would cry but it doesn't

help, does it? I am on new anti-depressant and have been on it for one week

maybe two, time flies. HAHA! Have you ever taken CYMBALTA? It is supposed to be

a rather new drug. I don't think it's doing as well as the Lexapro was but I

gotta give it time. Thank you so much for writing I needed to hear from someone

today. You are a blessing. Let's talk again soon. I am still embarrassed about

the cane and wearing flat shoes but did go to work like that THursday and

survived but now my daughter is in a wedding and I am about to go and everyone

will see me. I almost chickened out but decided this was one of those dragons I

must slay. I have to get over fear and learn to relax and accept myself. I could

write a book. I am going to get a map and start doing the pins or dots so I can

keep up with everyone also. Do you know of anyway of getting everyone's

birthdays, addresses, phone numbers,etc.? I feel like this group is my only

group of friends. All my others have moved on. I gotta go for now.

Love you and thanks again,

Debbie

>

> Date: 2004/11/13 Sat PM 06:42:34 EST

> To: RSD-CRPSofAmerica

> Subject: Debbie Ducote

>

>

Hello, my name is Lyn. We haven't met yet so I'd like to introduce

myself. I have RSD originally from a horse accident involving a

crush and compound fracture of my left foot/leg 10 years ago. After

6 six years of pain I went in to remission for 4 years. Just

recently it came back full force and more.

You wrote:

" I have a cane I started using this week and I feel scared. I have

to rest and I am going to listen to some ocean music and turn off

the lights and just be quiet. I am hoping that works. I went to the

psychologist today and he says that I have to acknowledge that I am

sick and sometimes must rest. Have you ever felt just defeated?

That's where I am now. "

I think everyone here has or is having their own version of this

scene and feels deeply for you. I know that I want to transport

myself to your front porch in LA and give you a tender hug. I just

came out of one whopper of a downer and just want to encourage you

to continue to take care of yourself.

Where in LA do you live? I live in Central Oregon (where it

snows). I'd like to put a pin in my map for you so I can really see

you when I read your posts. My love to you, Lyn

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Debbie, I see birthday reminders posted but I'm not sure how that

is handled. And there is a page for contacts however only a few

posted so I'm thinking it is something to develop privately and then

share when appropriate. I do know what you are saying about the

cane, the flat shoes, all the " things " that go along with

managing.....the change in the outer self image. It sounds like you

are moving through this with bravery. Even though I thought I knew

myself and my values I wasn't prepared for the feelings of being

no

longer worthy. Don't ask me worthy of what because I can't

tell you

anything that would make sense. I was ashamed and I didn't know

why.

Now what I see is that everyone in their own life time struggles

with the ageless question of Who AM I? and then they busily seek

outside of themselves to prove who they are maybe spending years

running around in the wrong field looking for the answers. For us

with the debilitating nature of RSD must cut to the chase.

Everything is taken from us and all we have left is our insides.

And there is where we do our battle. Until I went through it I

didn't realize that I had an image that was wrapped up in

the " doing " of life. It seems that my worth was hinged

entirely on

what I did. Apparently the answer to the question of " Who Am

I? "

was not in the best shape. RSD changed me big time and it is still

doing its work. I'd like to think it is changing me for the

good.

For me sometimes having a good cry is a release. Other times it is

not. I don't know what makes the difference but sometimes in my

body I feel it make a change for the better. Maybe it is just

letting go of bracing against the pain.

I haven't taken Cymbalta. I haven't started any meds except

pain

meds this time. I was on Trazadone and Zoloft for years. Did your

DR tell you how long it takes to work? I am glad you and I have

this group. I have a unique situation in that I know what it was

like to have RSD for years and never have anyone truly understand

what I was experiencing and then get better. Even sharing the

success of remission could not be understood. People said " Oh,

that's nice. " It was a very lonely place. What a blessing

this time

to have a place to come and really feel understood and heard. Hang

in there, my dear, we will help each other grow. I can give you the

names and towns I have if you want to locate them on your own map.

What is the name of your town in North Louisiana? Lots of love to

you, Lyn

<ducotedm@b...> wrote:

>

> > Lyn, I am sorry that your RSD came back. I guess there is no

escaping it. The positive is you did have remission for a while. I

guess we should take advantage of every good day. I live in North

Louisiana and it seeems that everyone in this group lives so far

away. JoAnn lives about 6 -7 hours away and I don't know if I can

make that drive alone. I wish I had someone here, just as you said

to hug and cry with me. Thank goodness for this group. They have

helped me so much. I am still having a flare-up and in a lot of

pain. I would cry but it doesn't help, does it? I am on new anti-

depressant and have been on it for one week maybe two, time flies.

HAHA! Have you ever taken CYMBALTA? It is supposed to be a rather

new drug. I don't think it's doing as well as the Lexapro was but I

gotta give it time. Thank you so much for writing I needed to hear

from someone today. You are a blessing. Let's talk again soon. I am

still embarrassed about the cane and wearing flat shoes but did go

to work like that THursday and survived but now my daughter is in a

wedding and I am about to go and everyone will see me. I almost

chickened out but decided this was one of those dragons I must slay.

I have to get over fear and learn to relax and accept myself. I

could write a book. I am going to get a map and start doing the pins

or dots so I can keep up with everyone also. Do you know of anyway

of getting everyone's birthdays, addresses, phone numbers,etc.? I

feel like this group is my only group of friends. All my others have

moved on. I gotta go for now.

> Love you and thanks again,

> Debbie

> > From: " lynlorraine " <lynlorraine@y...>

> > Date: 2004/11/13 Sat PM 06:42:34 EST

> > To: RSD-CRPSofAmerica

> > Subject: Debbie Ducote

> >

> >

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Debbie, I see birthday reminders posted but I'm not sure how that

is handled. And there is a page for contacts however only a few

posted so I'm thinking it is something to develop privately and then

share when appropriate. I do know what you are saying about the

cane, the flat shoes, all the " things " that go along with

managing.....the change in the outer self image. It sounds like you

are moving through this with bravery. Even though I thought I knew

myself and my values I wasn't prepared for the feelings of being

no

longer worthy. Don't ask me worthy of what because I can't

tell you

anything that would make sense. I was ashamed and I didn't know

why.

Now what I see is that everyone in their own life time struggles

with the ageless question of Who AM I? and then they busily seek

outside of themselves to prove who they are maybe spending years

running around in the wrong field looking for the answers. For us

with the debilitating nature of RSD must cut to the chase.

Everything is taken from us and all we have left is our insides.

And there is where we do our battle. Until I went through it I

didn't realize that I had an image that was wrapped up in

the " doing " of life. It seems that my worth was hinged

entirely on

what I did. Apparently the answer to the question of " Who Am

I? "

was not in the best shape. RSD changed me big time and it is still

doing its work. I'd like to think it is changing me for the

good.

For me sometimes having a good cry is a release. Other times it is

not. I don't know what makes the difference but sometimes in my

body I feel it make a change for the better. Maybe it is just

letting go of bracing against the pain.

I haven't taken Cymbalta. I haven't started any meds except

pain

meds this time. I was on Trazadone and Zoloft for years. Did your

DR tell you how long it takes to work? I am glad you and I have

this group. I have a unique situation in that I know what it was

like to have RSD for years and never have anyone truly understand

what I was experiencing and then get better. Even sharing the

success of remission could not be understood. People said " Oh,

that's nice. " It was a very lonely place. What a blessing

this time

to have a place to come and really feel understood and heard. Hang

in there, my dear, we will help each other grow. I can give you the

names and towns I have if you want to locate them on your own map.

What is the name of your town in North Louisiana? Lots of love to

you, Lyn

<ducotedm@b...> wrote:

>

> > Lyn, I am sorry that your RSD came back. I guess there is no

escaping it. The positive is you did have remission for a while. I

guess we should take advantage of every good day. I live in North

Louisiana and it seeems that everyone in this group lives so far

away. JoAnn lives about 6 -7 hours away and I don't know if I can

make that drive alone. I wish I had someone here, just as you said

to hug and cry with me. Thank goodness for this group. They have

helped me so much. I am still having a flare-up and in a lot of

pain. I would cry but it doesn't help, does it? I am on new anti-

depressant and have been on it for one week maybe two, time flies.

HAHA! Have you ever taken CYMBALTA? It is supposed to be a rather

new drug. I don't think it's doing as well as the Lexapro was but I

gotta give it time. Thank you so much for writing I needed to hear

from someone today. You are a blessing. Let's talk again soon. I am

still embarrassed about the cane and wearing flat shoes but did go

to work like that THursday and survived but now my daughter is in a

wedding and I am about to go and everyone will see me. I almost

chickened out but decided this was one of those dragons I must slay.

I have to get over fear and learn to relax and accept myself. I

could write a book. I am going to get a map and start doing the pins

or dots so I can keep up with everyone also. Do you know of anyway

of getting everyone's birthdays, addresses, phone numbers,etc.? I

feel like this group is my only group of friends. All my others have

moved on. I gotta go for now.

> Love you and thanks again,

> Debbie

> > From: " lynlorraine " <lynlorraine@y...>

> > Date: 2004/11/13 Sat PM 06:42:34 EST

> > To: RSD-CRPSofAmerica

> > Subject: Debbie Ducote

> >

> >

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