My family's problems, and there's many of them. HELP!

[Guest guest]

Well,

and I went in and talked with her counselor this morning. She was

crying this morning, saying she doesn't feel well (lung pain and sinus

infection), and that the stress of being behind in school and the anxiety that

goes with that are making it worse. I gave her her lorazepam, and it has calmed

her some. I also think she's getting depressed. I think she's been fighting it

for the last year. She just isn't her normal happy go lucky self. She has

dyslexia, and school is a challenge for her anyway. But, know that she's so

behind, she just doesn't see the light at the end of the tunnel-so to speak.

She is so overwhelmed with all that she's missed. Going to school now, she is

totally lost, cause she's so far behind.

So, her counselor is working on the home health tutor right now. He has been so

understanding with her since last Jan, when everything started to fall apart.

The principal is working on the exemption for the absences, which you have to do

a credit restoration for if they miss more than 7 days.

is still in bed, I couldn't get her up this morning. I think that valium

last night at the hospital totally zonked her out. So, she's going in to pt

this afternoon. I guess they'll put that heat pack thing on her. It helped

last week.

I went and talked with her counselor this morning too. She is now working on

her home health tutor packet too. She also is getting all her teachers to send

down all missed work. I am going to ask her psychiatrist to write a letter

explaining her anxiety.

She has a dr appt this afternoon, and I will ask him for something to give her

when her back spasms badly again. I just can't see taking her to the hospital

every time it happens. But, she definitely needs something strong.

Now . He's had this sinus infection. Over the last year or so, he has

been complaining of those stomach cramps. His allergies has also been very bad,

and he's missed a lot of school due to that. I wanted him to go to school this

morning. He was crying and just kept saying he doesn't feel well. I gave him

1/2 a lorazepam too. I think it's helped a bit, and it has made him tired.

But, I told him to stay home, so that may be why he's calmed down some. If I

made him go to school, I'm sure he would go straight to the nurses office, and

she would call me to pick him up.

I think he is having anxiety too. I think he's had it for years. It shows up

when we go to parties (gets stomach cramps and wants to go home - gets to crying

from it). He doesn't like to be in crowds.

I asked his counselor to ask his teachers if anything is going on at school that

they may notice. He has always been a top student - straight A's and in all

honors classes. His last report card was all B's. I know this isn't bad, but

he's never gotten a B before. He's missed a lot of school too.

I'm waiting for his dr to call to tell me when he can come in for a phyc eval.

I'm afraid he's getting depressed too. He hasn't wanted to do anything with

friends for months. He has had just one friend come over a couple times in the

last few months. More than one, and he just doesn't want to deal with it. He

hasn't even wanted to practice with his band lately. He even got a new bass for

xmas, but still doesn't want to practice with the guys. He just wants to stay

at home and play video games, watch tv and read. He won't even talk with his

friends on the phone.

I don't know what is going on.

I worry that I'm to blame for some of this. I haven't been well for years, and

the last 2 years have been really bad for me. Maybe it's rubbing off on them.

and have obvious reasons for their anxiety and depression (I

don't think is really depressed, but I see it can happen if something

isn't sorted out soon).

I'm not depressed, but because of my chronic pain, my slight anxiety, and all

the doctor appts, maybe the kids are being affected by it.

And, dad isn't any help at all. He just wants to kick them out the door to go

to school. I don't understand why he's like that. You'd think he would be more

supportive, cause he's got a sister who is schizophrenic. I just wish he could

open his eyes and see what is happening right in front of him. I was so upset

this morning, that I told him that I realize now that he's not gonna be of any

help to us whatsoever, and I'm just gonna have to take care of it myself. And

he better just let me do that, and stay out of it.

He's is such a great guy, I just don't understand why he's being like this. He

must think they are all faking it or something. But, that doesn't make sense

either, cause you can't fake a collapsed lung. He knows know that isn't

faking the muscle spasms. He took to the dr, so he must know that he's

not faking the sinus infection. And, like I said before, why would they fake

all this, when it has made it so they have had to give up things they love to

do?

Oh, I think he just wants it all to go away. I do too, but it just doesn't work

that way.

He'll get it one of these days. I hope.

Sorry for going on for so long. I just feel sorta overwhelmed today. I took a

xanax this morning too. Now, I think I'm gonna go lay down until 's pt

and dr appt.

Thanks for letting me ramble on..............

[Guest guest]

,

> He's is such a great guy, I just don't understand why he's being like

this.

> He must think they are all faking it or something. ...

> And, like I said before, why would they fake all this, when it has made

> it so they have had to give up things they love to do?

Acceptance takes time and until he is emotionally prepared to accept what is

happening to his children, denial is a powerful tool for making the painful

emotions go away. Often parents deny their child's disability or illness in

the hopes that it will go away. It is more often true of fathers because

men are not taught how to cope with such things - it's not part of the male

perspective to deal with the unfixable. When the problem is genetic, it is

sometimes even more likely that a parent will deny it to avoid confronting

feelings of guilt and blame for having passed the problem to a child. It

isn't logical and it doesn't make matters easier for the child or the

spouse, but then nothing about emotions is logical.

Good luck. Hopefully, in time, he will learn to cope and become a help

instead of hindrance in this.

-Barb

[Guest guest]

,

> He's is such a great guy, I just don't understand why he's being like

this.

> He must think they are all faking it or something. ...

> And, like I said before, why would they fake all this, when it has made

> it so they have had to give up things they love to do?

Acceptance takes time and until he is emotionally prepared to accept what is

happening to his children, denial is a powerful tool for making the painful

emotions go away. Often parents deny their child's disability or illness in

the hopes that it will go away. It is more often true of fathers because

men are not taught how to cope with such things - it's not part of the male

perspective to deal with the unfixable. When the problem is genetic, it is

sometimes even more likely that a parent will deny it to avoid confronting

feelings of guilt and blame for having passed the problem to a child. It

isn't logical and it doesn't make matters easier for the child or the

spouse, but then nothing about emotions is logical.

Good luck. Hopefully, in time, he will learn to cope and become a help

instead of hindrance in this.

-Barb

[Guest guest]

,

> He's is such a great guy, I just don't understand why he's being like

this.

> He must think they are all faking it or something. ...

> And, like I said before, why would they fake all this, when it has made

> it so they have had to give up things they love to do?

Acceptance takes time and until he is emotionally prepared to accept what is

happening to his children, denial is a powerful tool for making the painful

emotions go away. Often parents deny their child's disability or illness in

the hopes that it will go away. It is more often true of fathers because

men are not taught how to cope with such things - it's not part of the male

perspective to deal with the unfixable. When the problem is genetic, it is

sometimes even more likely that a parent will deny it to avoid confronting

feelings of guilt and blame for having passed the problem to a child. It

isn't logical and it doesn't make matters easier for the child or the

spouse, but then nothing about emotions is logical.

Good luck. Hopefully, in time, he will learn to cope and become a help

instead of hindrance in this.

-Barb

[Guest guest]

Hope things setttle down for you soon. It sounds like your plate is full to

overflowing. My thoughts & prayers are with you.

Betty

My family's problems, and there's many of them. HELP!

>

>

> Well,

> and I went in and talked with her counselor this morning. She was

crying this morning, saying she doesn't feel well (lung pain and sinus

infection), and that the stress of being behind in school and the anxiety

that goes with that are making it worse. I gave her her lorazepam, and it

has calmed her some. I also think she's getting depressed. I think she's

been fighting it for the last year. She just isn't her normal happy go

lucky self. She has dyslexia, and school is a challenge for her anyway.

But, know that she's so behind, she just doesn't see the light at the end of

the tunnel-so to speak. She is so overwhelmed with all that she's missed.

Going to school now, she is totally lost, cause she's so far behind.

> So, her counselor is working on the home health tutor right now. He has

been so understanding with her since last Jan, when everything started to

fall apart. The principal is working on the exemption for the absences,

which you have to do a credit restoration for if they miss more than 7 days.

>

> is still in bed, I couldn't get her up this morning. I think that

valium last night at the hospital totally zonked her out. So, she's going

in to pt this afternoon. I guess they'll put that heat pack thing on her.

It helped last week.

> I went and talked with her counselor this morning too. She is now working

on her home health tutor packet too. She also is getting all her teachers

to send down all missed work. I am going to ask her psychiatrist to write a

letter explaining her anxiety.

> She has a dr appt this afternoon, and I will ask him for something to give

her when her back spasms badly again. I just can't see taking her to the

hospital every time it happens. But, she definitely needs something strong.

>

> Now . He's had this sinus infection. Over the last year or so, he

has been complaining of those stomach cramps. His allergies has also been

very bad, and he's missed a lot of school due to that. I wanted him to go

to school this morning. He was crying and just kept saying he doesn't feel

well. I gave him 1/2 a lorazepam too. I think it's helped a bit, and it

has made him tired. But, I told him to stay home, so that may be why he's

calmed down some. If I made him go to school, I'm sure he would go straight

to the nurses office, and she would call me to pick him up.

> I think he is having anxiety too. I think he's had it for years. It

shows up when we go to parties (gets stomach cramps and wants to go home -

gets to crying from it). He doesn't like to be in crowds.

> I asked his counselor to ask his teachers if anything is going on at

school that they may notice. He has always been a top student - straight

A's and in all honors classes. His last report card was all B's. I know

this isn't bad, but he's never gotten a B before. He's missed a lot of

school too.

>

> I'm waiting for his dr to call to tell me when he can come in for a phyc

eval.

> I'm afraid he's getting depressed too. He hasn't wanted to do anything

with friends for months. He has had just one friend come over a couple

times in the last few months. More than one, and he just doesn't want to

deal with it. He hasn't even wanted to practice with his band lately. He

even got a new bass for xmas, but still doesn't want to practice with the

guys. He just wants to stay at home and play video games, watch tv and

read. He won't even talk with his friends on the phone.

> I don't know what is going on.

>

> I worry that I'm to blame for some of this. I haven't been well for

years, and the last 2 years have been really bad for me. Maybe it's rubbing

off on them. and have obvious reasons for their anxiety and

depression (I don't think is really depressed, but I see it can

happen if something isn't sorted out soon).

> I'm not depressed, but because of my chronic pain, my slight anxiety, and

all the doctor appts, maybe the kids are being affected by it.

>

> And, dad isn't any help at all. He just wants to kick them out the door

to go to school. I don't understand why he's like that. You'd think he

would be more supportive, cause he's got a sister who is schizophrenic. I

just wish he could open his eyes and see what is happening right in front of

him. I was so upset this morning, that I told him that I realize now that

he's not gonna be of any help to us whatsoever, and I'm just gonna have to

take care of it myself. And he better just let me do that, and stay out of

it.

> He's is such a great guy, I just don't understand why he's being like

this. He must think they are all faking it or something. But, that doesn't

make sense either, cause you can't fake a collapsed lung. He knows know

that isn't faking the muscle spasms. He took to the dr, so he

must know that he's not faking the sinus infection. And, like I said

before, why would they fake all this, when it has made it so they have had

to give up things they love to do?

>

> Oh, I think he just wants it all to go away. I do too, but it just

doesn't work that way.

> He'll get it one of these days. I hope.

>

> Sorry for going on for so long. I just feel sorta overwhelmed today. I

took a xanax this morning too. Now, I think I'm gonna go lay down until

's pt and dr appt.

> Thanks for letting me ramble on..............

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hope things setttle down for you soon. It sounds like your plate is full to

overflowing. My thoughts & prayers are with you.

Betty

My family's problems, and there's many of them. HELP!

>

>

> Well,

> and I went in and talked with her counselor this morning. She was

crying this morning, saying she doesn't feel well (lung pain and sinus

infection), and that the stress of being behind in school and the anxiety

that goes with that are making it worse. I gave her her lorazepam, and it

has calmed her some. I also think she's getting depressed. I think she's

been fighting it for the last year. She just isn't her normal happy go

lucky self. She has dyslexia, and school is a challenge for her anyway.

But, know that she's so behind, she just doesn't see the light at the end of

the tunnel-so to speak. She is so overwhelmed with all that she's missed.

Going to school now, she is totally lost, cause she's so far behind.

> So, her counselor is working on the home health tutor right now. He has

been so understanding with her since last Jan, when everything started to

fall apart. The principal is working on the exemption for the absences,

which you have to do a credit restoration for if they miss more than 7 days.

>

> is still in bed, I couldn't get her up this morning. I think that

valium last night at the hospital totally zonked her out. So, she's going

in to pt this afternoon. I guess they'll put that heat pack thing on her.

It helped last week.

> I went and talked with her counselor this morning too. She is now working

on her home health tutor packet too. She also is getting all her teachers

to send down all missed work. I am going to ask her psychiatrist to write a

letter explaining her anxiety.

> She has a dr appt this afternoon, and I will ask him for something to give

her when her back spasms badly again. I just can't see taking her to the

hospital every time it happens. But, she definitely needs something strong.

>

> Now . He's had this sinus infection. Over the last year or so, he

has been complaining of those stomach cramps. His allergies has also been

very bad, and he's missed a lot of school due to that. I wanted him to go

to school this morning. He was crying and just kept saying he doesn't feel

well. I gave him 1/2 a lorazepam too. I think it's helped a bit, and it

has made him tired. But, I told him to stay home, so that may be why he's

calmed down some. If I made him go to school, I'm sure he would go straight

to the nurses office, and she would call me to pick him up.

> I think he is having anxiety too. I think he's had it for years. It

shows up when we go to parties (gets stomach cramps and wants to go home -

gets to crying from it). He doesn't like to be in crowds.

> I asked his counselor to ask his teachers if anything is going on at

school that they may notice. He has always been a top student - straight

A's and in all honors classes. His last report card was all B's. I know

this isn't bad, but he's never gotten a B before. He's missed a lot of

school too.

>

> I'm waiting for his dr to call to tell me when he can come in for a phyc

eval.

> I'm afraid he's getting depressed too. He hasn't wanted to do anything

with friends for months. He has had just one friend come over a couple

times in the last few months. More than one, and he just doesn't want to

deal with it. He hasn't even wanted to practice with his band lately. He

even got a new bass for xmas, but still doesn't want to practice with the

guys. He just wants to stay at home and play video games, watch tv and

read. He won't even talk with his friends on the phone.

> I don't know what is going on.

>

> I worry that I'm to blame for some of this. I haven't been well for

years, and the last 2 years have been really bad for me. Maybe it's rubbing

off on them. and have obvious reasons for their anxiety and

depression (I don't think is really depressed, but I see it can

happen if something isn't sorted out soon).

> I'm not depressed, but because of my chronic pain, my slight anxiety, and

all the doctor appts, maybe the kids are being affected by it.

>

> And, dad isn't any help at all. He just wants to kick them out the door

to go to school. I don't understand why he's like that. You'd think he

would be more supportive, cause he's got a sister who is schizophrenic. I

just wish he could open his eyes and see what is happening right in front of

him. I was so upset this morning, that I told him that I realize now that

he's not gonna be of any help to us whatsoever, and I'm just gonna have to

take care of it myself. And he better just let me do that, and stay out of

it.

> He's is such a great guy, I just don't understand why he's being like

this. He must think they are all faking it or something. But, that doesn't

make sense either, cause you can't fake a collapsed lung. He knows know

that isn't faking the muscle spasms. He took to the dr, so he

must know that he's not faking the sinus infection. And, like I said

before, why would they fake all this, when it has made it so they have had

to give up things they love to do?

>

> Oh, I think he just wants it all to go away. I do too, but it just

doesn't work that way.

> He'll get it one of these days. I hope.

>

> Sorry for going on for so long. I just feel sorta overwhelmed today. I

took a xanax this morning too. Now, I think I'm gonna go lay down until

's pt and dr appt.

> Thanks for letting me ramble on..............

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hope things setttle down for you soon. It sounds like your plate is full to

overflowing. My thoughts & prayers are with you.

Betty

My family's problems, and there's many of them. HELP!

>

>

> Well,

> and I went in and talked with her counselor this morning. She was

crying this morning, saying she doesn't feel well (lung pain and sinus

infection), and that the stress of being behind in school and the anxiety

that goes with that are making it worse. I gave her her lorazepam, and it

has calmed her some. I also think she's getting depressed. I think she's

been fighting it for the last year. She just isn't her normal happy go

lucky self. She has dyslexia, and school is a challenge for her anyway.

But, know that she's so behind, she just doesn't see the light at the end of

the tunnel-so to speak. She is so overwhelmed with all that she's missed.

Going to school now, she is totally lost, cause she's so far behind.

> So, her counselor is working on the home health tutor right now. He has

been so understanding with her since last Jan, when everything started to

fall apart. The principal is working on the exemption for the absences,

which you have to do a credit restoration for if they miss more than 7 days.

>

> is still in bed, I couldn't get her up this morning. I think that

valium last night at the hospital totally zonked her out. So, she's going

in to pt this afternoon. I guess they'll put that heat pack thing on her.

It helped last week.

> I went and talked with her counselor this morning too. She is now working

on her home health tutor packet too. She also is getting all her teachers

to send down all missed work. I am going to ask her psychiatrist to write a

letter explaining her anxiety.

> She has a dr appt this afternoon, and I will ask him for something to give

her when her back spasms badly again. I just can't see taking her to the

hospital every time it happens. But, she definitely needs something strong.

>

> Now . He's had this sinus infection. Over the last year or so, he

has been complaining of those stomach cramps. His allergies has also been

very bad, and he's missed a lot of school due to that. I wanted him to go

to school this morning. He was crying and just kept saying he doesn't feel

well. I gave him 1/2 a lorazepam too. I think it's helped a bit, and it

has made him tired. But, I told him to stay home, so that may be why he's

calmed down some. If I made him go to school, I'm sure he would go straight

to the nurses office, and she would call me to pick him up.

> I think he is having anxiety too. I think he's had it for years. It

shows up when we go to parties (gets stomach cramps and wants to go home -

gets to crying from it). He doesn't like to be in crowds.

> I asked his counselor to ask his teachers if anything is going on at

school that they may notice. He has always been a top student - straight

A's and in all honors classes. His last report card was all B's. I know

this isn't bad, but he's never gotten a B before. He's missed a lot of

school too.

>

> I'm waiting for his dr to call to tell me when he can come in for a phyc

eval.

> I'm afraid he's getting depressed too. He hasn't wanted to do anything

with friends for months. He has had just one friend come over a couple

times in the last few months. More than one, and he just doesn't want to

deal with it. He hasn't even wanted to practice with his band lately. He

even got a new bass for xmas, but still doesn't want to practice with the

guys. He just wants to stay at home and play video games, watch tv and

read. He won't even talk with his friends on the phone.

> I don't know what is going on.

>

> I worry that I'm to blame for some of this. I haven't been well for

years, and the last 2 years have been really bad for me. Maybe it's rubbing

off on them. and have obvious reasons for their anxiety and

depression (I don't think is really depressed, but I see it can

happen if something isn't sorted out soon).

> I'm not depressed, but because of my chronic pain, my slight anxiety, and

all the doctor appts, maybe the kids are being affected by it.

>

> And, dad isn't any help at all. He just wants to kick them out the door

to go to school. I don't understand why he's like that. You'd think he

would be more supportive, cause he's got a sister who is schizophrenic. I

just wish he could open his eyes and see what is happening right in front of

him. I was so upset this morning, that I told him that I realize now that

he's not gonna be of any help to us whatsoever, and I'm just gonna have to

take care of it myself. And he better just let me do that, and stay out of

it.

> He's is such a great guy, I just don't understand why he's being like

this. He must think they are all faking it or something. But, that doesn't

make sense either, cause you can't fake a collapsed lung. He knows know

that isn't faking the muscle spasms. He took to the dr, so he

must know that he's not faking the sinus infection. And, like I said

before, why would they fake all this, when it has made it so they have had

to give up things they love to do?

>

> Oh, I think he just wants it all to go away. I do too, but it just

doesn't work that way.

> He'll get it one of these days. I hope.

>

> Sorry for going on for so long. I just feel sorta overwhelmed today. I

took a xanax this morning too. Now, I think I'm gonna go lay down until

's pt and dr appt.

> Thanks for letting me ramble on..............

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

I'm so sorry for all the issues going on in your family. You must have

tremendous strength to do what you have to do on a daily basis. Would an entire

family consult with the Dr. be of any help, including your hubby? My thought's

are with ya.

Hugs, S.

My family's problems, and there's many of them. HELP!

Well,

and I went in and talked with her counselor this morning. She was

crying this morning, saying she doesn't feel well (lung pain and sinus

infection), and that the stress of being behind in school and the anxiety that

goes with that are making it worse. I gave her her lorazepam, and it has calmed

her some. I also think she's getting depressed. I think she's been fighting it

for the last year. She just isn't her normal happy go lucky self. She has

dyslexia, and school is a challenge for her anyway. But, know that she's so

behind, she just doesn't see the light at the end of the tunnel-so to speak.

She is so overwhelmed with all that she's missed. Going to school now, she is

totally lost, cause she's so far behind.

So, her counselor is working on the home health tutor right now. He has been

so understanding with her since last Jan, when everything started to fall apart.

The principal is working on the exemption for the absences, which you have to do

a credit restoration for if they miss more than 7 days.

is still in bed, I couldn't get her up this morning. I think that

valium last night at the hospital totally zonked her out. So, she's going in to

pt this afternoon. I guess they'll put that heat pack thing on her. It helped

last week.

I went and talked with her counselor this morning too. She is now working on

her home health tutor packet too. She also is getting all her teachers to send

down all missed work. I am going to ask her psychiatrist to write a letter

explaining her anxiety.

She has a dr appt this afternoon, and I will ask him for something to give her

when her back spasms badly again. I just can't see taking her to the hospital

every time it happens. But, she definitely needs something strong.

Now . He's had this sinus infection. Over the last year or so, he has

been complaining of those stomach cramps. His allergies has also been very bad,

and he's missed a lot of school due to that. I wanted him to go to school this

morning. He was crying and just kept saying he doesn't feel well. I gave him

1/2 a lorazepam too. I think it's helped a bit, and it has made him tired.

But, I told him to stay home, so that may be why he's calmed down some. If I

made him go to school, I'm sure he would go straight to the nurses office, and

she would call me to pick him up.

I think he is having anxiety too. I think he's had it for years. It shows up

when we go to parties (gets stomach cramps and wants to go home - gets to crying

from it). He doesn't like to be in crowds.

I asked his counselor to ask his teachers if anything is going on at school

that they may notice. He has always been a top student - straight A's and in

all honors classes. His last report card was all B's. I know this isn't bad,

but he's never gotten a B before. He's missed a lot of school too.

I'm waiting for his dr to call to tell me when he can come in for a phyc eval.

I'm afraid he's getting depressed too. He hasn't wanted to do anything with

friends for months. He has had just one friend come over a couple times in the

last few months. More than one, and he just doesn't want to deal with it. He

hasn't even wanted to practice with his band lately. He even got a new bass for

xmas, but still doesn't want to practice with the guys. He just wants to stay

at home and play video games, watch tv and read. He won't even talk with his

friends on the phone.

I don't know what is going on.

I worry that I'm to blame for some of this. I haven't been well for years,

and the last 2 years have been really bad for me. Maybe it's rubbing off on

them. and have obvious reasons for their anxiety and depression

(I don't think is really depressed, but I see it can happen if something

isn't sorted out soon).

I'm not depressed, but because of my chronic pain, my slight anxiety, and all

the doctor appts, maybe the kids are being affected by it.

And, dad isn't any help at all. He just wants to kick them out the door to go

to school. I don't understand why he's like that. You'd think he would be more

supportive, cause he's got a sister who is schizophrenic. I just wish he could

open his eyes and see what is happening right in front of him. I was so upset

this morning, that I told him that I realize now that he's not gonna be of any

help to us whatsoever, and I'm just gonna have to take care of it myself. And

he better just let me do that, and stay out of it.

He's is such a great guy, I just don't understand why he's being like this.

He must think they are all faking it or something. But, that doesn't make sense

either, cause you can't fake a collapsed lung. He knows know that isn't

faking the muscle spasms. He took to the dr, so he must know that he's

not faking the sinus infection. And, like I said before, why would they fake

all this, when it has made it so they have had to give up things they love to

do?

Oh, I think he just wants it all to go away. I do too, but it just doesn't

work that way.

He'll get it one of these days. I hope.

Sorry for going on for so long. I just feel sorta overwhelmed today. I took

a xanax this morning too. Now, I think I'm gonna go lay down until 's pt

and dr appt.

Thanks for letting me ramble on..............

[Guest guest]

,maybe your hubby is just so overwealmed he is shutting down to try

to protect himself or to prevent himself from saying or doing

something that he will regret for the rest of his life.

he is likely just going through the 7 stages of grief (over what was,

what could have been and over the pain and disability his kids have

and may have in the future).

i am pretty sure my partner gets like this as he gets to stages where

he just doesn't want to hear about anything else.

so i try not to tell him unless he asks or i am especially worried

etc.

it is very hard for him to deal with the fact that i am disabled and

always will be.

Sharon :->

>

>

> Well,

> and I went in and talked with her counselor this morning.

She was crying this morning, saying she doesn't feel well (lung pain

and sinus infection), and that the stress of being behind in school

and the anxiety that goes with that are making it worse. I gave her

her lorazepam, and it has calmed her some. I also think she's

getting depressed. I think she's been fighting it for the last

year. She just isn't her normal happy go lucky self. She has

dyslexia, and school is a challenge for her anyway. But, know that

she's so behind, she just doesn't see the light at the end of the

tunnel-so to speak. She is so overwhelmed with all that she's

missed. Going to school now, she is totally lost, cause she's so far

behind.

> So, her counselor is working on the home health tutor right now.

He has been so understanding with her since last Jan, when everything

started to fall apart. The principal is working on the exemption for

the absences, which you have to do a credit restoration for if they

miss more than 7 days.

>

> is still in bed, I couldn't get her up this morning. I

think that valium last night at the hospital totally zonked her out.

So, she's going in to pt this afternoon. I guess they'll put that

heat pack thing on her. It helped last week.

> I went and talked with her counselor this morning too. She is now

working on her home health tutor packet too. She also is getting all

her teachers to send down all missed work. I am going to ask her

psychiatrist to write a letter explaining her anxiety.

> She has a dr appt this afternoon, and I will ask him for something

to give her when her back spasms badly again. I just can't see

taking her to the hospital every time it happens. But, she

definitely needs something strong.

>

> Now . He's had this sinus infection. Over the last year or

so, he has been complaining of those stomach cramps. His allergies

has also been very bad, and he's missed a lot of school due to that.

I wanted him to go to school this morning. He was crying and just

kept saying he doesn't feel well. I gave him 1/2 a lorazepam too. I

think it's helped a bit, and it has made him tired. But, I told him

to stay home, so that may be why he's calmed down some. If I made

him go to school, I'm sure he would go straight to the nurses office,

and she would call me to pick him up.

> I think he is having anxiety too. I think he's had it for years.

It shows up when we go to parties (gets stomach cramps and wants to

go home - gets to crying from it). He doesn't like to be in crowds.

> I asked his counselor to ask his teachers if anything is going on

at school that they may notice. He has always been a top student -

straight A's and in all honors classes. His last report card was all

B's. I know this isn't bad, but he's never gotten a B before. He's

missed a lot of school too.

>

> I'm waiting for his dr to call to tell me when he can come in for a

phyc eval.

> I'm afraid he's getting depressed too. He hasn't wanted to do

anything with friends for months. He has had just one friend come

over a couple times in the last few months. More than one, and he

just doesn't want to deal with it. He hasn't even wanted to practice

with his band lately. He even got a new bass for xmas, but still

doesn't want to practice with the guys. He just wants to stay at

home and play video games, watch tv and read. He won't even talk

with his friends on the phone.

> I don't know what is going on.

>

> I worry that I'm to blame for some of this. I haven't been well

for years, and the last 2 years have been really bad for me. Maybe

it's rubbing off on them. and have obvious reasons

for their anxiety and depression (I don't think is really

depressed, but I see it can happen if something isn't sorted out

soon).

> I'm not depressed, but because of my chronic pain, my slight

anxiety, and all the doctor appts, maybe the kids are being affected

by it.

>

> And, dad isn't any help at all. He just wants to kick them out the

door to go to school. I don't understand why he's like that. You'd

think he would be more supportive, cause he's got a sister who is

schizophrenic. I just wish he could open his eyes and see what is

happening right in front of him. I was so upset this morning, that I

told him that I realize now that he's not gonna be of any help to us

whatsoever, and I'm just gonna have to take care of it myself. And

he better just let me do that, and stay out of it.

> He's is such a great guy, I just don't understand why he's being

like this. He must think they are all faking it or something. But,

that doesn't make sense either, cause you can't fake a collapsed

lung. He knows know that isn't faking the muscle spasms. He

took to the dr, so he must know that he's not faking the sinus

infection. And, like I said before, why would they fake all this,

when it has made it so they have had to give up things they love to

do?

>

> Oh, I think he just wants it all to go away. I do too, but it just

doesn't work that way.

> He'll get it one of these days. I hope.

>

> Sorry for going on for so long. I just feel sorta overwhelmed

today. I took a xanax this morning too. Now, I think I'm gonna go

lay down until 's pt and dr appt.

> Thanks for letting me ramble on..............

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

Barbs response was right on. but more..... You can stop all the kids from

failing grades right now, by the IEP/504. With that in place, if it takes a

child 2 years to finish one semester, than so be it. No pressure. With out it

in place, the end of a semester, is the end, grades permanent. If it is inplace,

all grades up till now can be I's/ Incompletes.

Some days/weeks feel so out of control. I know. When will it ever end, what

future is in store? How will I find the strength? But Hun, mom to mom, we just

do. We are here for you. Call me anytime. You can do it, just like I have to do

it. I know you have 3, I have 1, but the battle is the same. What is best for

each. I know the big advantage I have over you is that I don't have the pain

too. I know that is a big difference. Your pain multiplies the problem to handle

the stress. But your kids are looking to you for help. Show them by example.

Rest, very important. You need a nap, take it. Don't push your limit. Hard for

kids, but they will learn. Meds, a way of life, perhaps, But if they are not

right for you, speak-up and get something different. The emergencies, they are

going to happen. For you unfortunately times 4. Right now you are finding your

self in one of those times that are just plane overwhelming. To much to handle,

but you will. Your a mom. It will settle down. It might take a month or a year,

or maybe two, but it will settle down. You have been thrown into something you

were not prepared for. Believe me, I have cried more nights than I can count,

from the frustration, unfairness of it all. Some how, someday, you just wake up

with a different frame of mind. The challenge is no longer an enemy. You just

handle it different. You wake up one day knowing the challenge is just another

day. You have won and lost before, and you go on to win again. And if you lose,

you don't take it as hard, you now have experience and determination in your

favor. Patience is a big problem in trying to get the answers. A lesson very

hard for me while I watch my child hurting. EVERYTHING takes to long while the

child is suffering. That is my biggest task of learning and understanding. Each

child is different. As you are too.

I am so sorry your family has been hit with this all at once, three kids all at

the same time. I can't even imagine, but you can do this. Dad will follow and

understand hopefully soon. People that have control issues just take longer. But

these are his kids too. He will come to understand. You have to do what is best

for your kids now. In your heart, you know what that is, as each day comes. One

day at a time right now. It will smooth out. Getting you typing will help. Right

now you don't know if a bad headache or stomach ache is a life threating

emergency or just a belly ache, or simple head ache. I know that has to be just

an awful burden.

You are to no blame for genetics. EDS or emotional things. They are beyond our

control. You know that. The genes are in control here. Do not blame yourself.

You did not know EDS was in your genes. You did not know the families emotional

problems would possibly affect your children.

I am here for you any time, you know that. You will find the strength. I know

you. We are allot the same. You will find the answers. And Tom will come around.

Cindy C.

My family's problems, and there's many of them. HELP!

Well,

and I went in and talked with her counselor this morning. She was

crying this morning, saying she doesn't feel well (lung pain and sinus

infection), and that the stress of being behind in school and the anxiety that

goes with that are making it worse. I gave her her lorazepam, and it has calmed

her some. I also think she's getting depressed. I think she's been fighting it

for the last year. She just isn't her normal happy go lucky self. She has

dyslexia, and school is a challenge for her anyway. But, know that she's so

behind, she just doesn't see the light at the end of the tunnel-so to speak.

She is so overwhelmed with all that she's missed. Going to school now, she is

totally lost, cause she's so far behind.

So, her counselor is working on the home health tutor right now. He has been

so understanding with her since last Jan, when everything started to fall apart.

The principal is working on the exemption for the absences, which you have to do

a credit restoration for if they miss more than 7 days.

is still in bed, I couldn't get her up this morning. I think that

valium last night at the hospital totally zonked her out. So, she's going in to

pt this afternoon. I guess they'll put that heat pack thing on her. It helped

last week.

I went and talked with her counselor this morning too. She is now working on

her home health tutor packet too. She also is getting all her teachers to send

down all missed work. I am going to ask her psychiatrist to write a letter

explaining her anxiety.

She has a dr appt this afternoon, and I will ask him for something to give her

when her back spasms badly again. I just can't see taking her to the hospital

every time it happens. But, she definitely needs something strong.

Now . He's had this sinus infection. Over the last year or so, he has

been complaining of those stomach cramps. His allergies has also been very bad,

and he's missed a lot of school due to that. I wanted him to go to school this

morning. He was crying and just kept saying he doesn't feel well. I gave him

1/2 a lorazepam too. I think it's helped a bit, and it has made him tired.

But, I told him to stay home, so that may be why he's calmed down some. If I

made him go to school, I'm sure he would go straight to the nurses office, and

she would call me to pick him up.

I think he is having anxiety too. I think he's had it for years. It shows up

when we go to parties (gets stomach cramps and wants to go home - gets to crying

from it). He doesn't like to be in crowds.

I asked his counselor to ask his teachers if anything is going on at school

that they may notice. He has always been a top student - straight A's and in

all honors classes. His last report card was all B's. I know this isn't bad,

but he's never gotten a B before. He's missed a lot of school too.

I'm waiting for his dr to call to tell me when he can come in for a phyc eval.

I'm afraid he's getting depressed too. He hasn't wanted to do anything with

friends for months. He has had just one friend come over a couple times in the

last few months. More than one, and he just doesn't want to deal with it. He

hasn't even wanted to practice with his band lately. He even got a new bass for

xmas, but still doesn't want to practice with the guys. He just wants to stay

at home and play video games, watch tv and read. He won't even talk with his

friends on the phone.

I don't know what is going on.

I worry that I'm to blame for some of this. I haven't been well for years,

and the last 2 years have been really bad for me. Maybe it's rubbing off on

them. and have obvious reasons for their anxiety and depression

(I don't think is really depressed, but I see it can happen if something

isn't sorted out soon).

I'm not depressed, but because of my chronic pain, my slight anxiety, and all

the doctor appts, maybe the kids are being affected by it.

And, dad isn't any help at all. He just wants to kick them out the door to go

to school. I don't understand why he's like that. You'd think he would be more

supportive, cause he's got a sister who is schizophrenic. I just wish he could

open his eyes and see what is happening right in front of him. I was so upset

this morning, that I told him that I realize now that he's not gonna be of any

help to us whatsoever, and I'm just gonna have to take care of it myself. And

he better just let me do that, and stay out of it.

He's is such a great guy, I just don't understand why he's being like this.

He must think they are all faking it or something. But, that doesn't make sense

either, cause you can't fake a collapsed lung. He knows know that isn't

faking the muscle spasms. He took to the dr, so he must know that he's

not faking the sinus infection. And, like I said before, why would they fake

all this, when it has made it so they have had to give up things they love to

do?

Oh, I think he just wants it all to go away. I do too, but it just doesn't

work that way.

He'll get it one of these days. I hope.

Sorry for going on for so long. I just feel sorta overwhelmed today. I took

a xanax this morning too. Now, I think I'm gonna go lay down until 's pt

and dr appt.

Thanks for letting me ramble on..............

[Guest guest]

Hi Cindy,

Thanks so much. You are such a good friend.

I am so tired now that I have to go to bed, so I'll write to you tomorrow.

But I wanted to make sure I said thanks.

Hugs,