Guest guest Posted January 10, 2004 Report Share Posted January 10, 2004 About sleep: as I got my sleep dysfunctions under a little control, I noticed that I have to sleep 10 to 12 hours a night, or I cannot function well. At first I had a problem with this -- I mean, I used to build scenery for three days straight...then I remembered that, actually, almost everyone is sleep deprived these days, and what I was having a problem with was -- almost what should be normal for a temporarily-abled, to begin with, and not at all out of line for someone who has to constantly keep himself together physically, working harder than most just to stay standing...so I've come to forgive myself for spending so much time trying to repair what I do to myself when awake. And second, a bit more on healing. There's a contradiction problem with being classified disabled and with healing yourself. It's really schizophrenic for me. There's no way I could ever support myself again, I know -- it would require too much of the time I can be active in a day. It's all I can do to keep up the appearances of a normal household. So I'm stuck with repeatedly having to prove to bureaucrats that I'm disabled and can't work, which is a sort of self-flagellation that has to coexist with the need to heal myself. I accept that I can't be cured (to the relief of my current doctors), and I'm quite happy living with 3 or 4 out of 10 on the scale instead of 6 to 8, but I'd like to be able to give up this repetitive stress disorder of the soul. I really need the pittance, though...it would be nice to keep my disability income without jeopardizing my feeling well despite the problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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