Fwd: A Letter From an Emotional Eater to Herself

[Guest guest]

This is from my other group. I thought it was good!

Gena

> A Letter From an Emotional Eater to Herself

>

> http://www.calorieking.com

> 16 January 2003

>

> Dear Self,

> I am sick and tired of this constant battle with weight. I don't know

> why I eat so much. Most of the time, I am really not hungry, but that

> doesn't stop me from pigging out. I think I need to figure this out

> or I'll never lose weight.

>

> I have been writing in my daily journal and am really seeing things

> in a new light. I seem to eat more junk food when I have had a really

> bad day. A bad day can be anything from feeling angry and not being

> able to express the anger, to feeling lonely, or stressed or just

> plain bored. I think I can start figuring out which emotions are

> likely to trigger overeating, but what really bothers me is there are

> times when I really don't know what I am feeling. I guess I'll have

> to pay closer attention. I feel worse about myself about eating, but

> while I am eating I don't feel anything. I think that's one of the

> reasons I overeat; I don't want to feel.

>

> I am wondering if food is akin to a drug for me? I want to stop, but

> I can't. I tell myself I will, but then I don't. I'm feeling kind of

> hopeless, but I'm still writing in my journal, so maybe I'll figure

> it out.

> I think I am an Emotional Eater, but I'm not sure yet.

>

>

> TWO WEEKS LATER

> Dear Self,

> Some bad news and some good news.

> Let's get the bad stuff out of the way first. When I have this empty

> feeling inside, I still reach for food. Do I really think food is

> going to take the place of whatever is missing in my life? Last week

> was very bad. Everyone at work seemed so happy and I felt left out.

> That night, I attacked the Haagen Daz. I didn't think about it. I

> just did it.

>

> This is the good news: you know how I keep saying food feels good?

> Well, after polishing off the quart of ice cream, I realized the good

> feeling doesn't last long. I figured out that I should see what the

> health and weight consequences are when I eat that much ice cream.

> So, right after I ate, I added up all the calories and fat I consumed

> during my Haagen Daz episode. I wrote it in my diary, but didn't look

> at it until the next day, when I was more open to rational thinking.

> I couldn't believe it. I consumed 950 calories and 75 grams of fat –

> enough fat for two days and enough saturated fat for five days.

> It's pretty obvious to me now: I will never lose weight if I keep

> this up. And at this rate, I think I might be jeopardizing my health.

> Most important, food is not solving any of my problems. It just makes

> everything worse.

>

> So, this is what I decided to do.

> First, I got the junk food out of the house – out of sight out of

> mind. If the junk is not in the house, I can't eat it. If I feel like

> eating ice cream, I can always eat a reasonable serving size when I'm

> out of the house. I figured it would be a good idea to get out of the

> house at night, so I took a watercolor class. I felt so good about

> myself after the class that I really didn't feel like eating.

> This is the really good news: I discovered that I don't feel like

> overeating when I feel good about myself. I feel good about myself

> when I am involved in something I enjoy.

>

>

> TWO WEEKS LATER

> Dear Self,

> I wish I could say everything is rosy and I have stopped using food

> to manage my feelings. I haven't stopped, but I am doing it less and

> less. I realize the more aware I am of when and why I eat, the easier

> it gets. I've been doing a lot of thinking about this and realized

> that I don't eat because I am hungry, I eat because I feel crummy. In

> fact, I don't even know when I am hungry. I thought, " If I eat this

> much when I am not hungry, how much do I eat when I am hungry? "

> I really paid attention to uncomfortable sensations. I was able to

> figure out that some of these signals were uncomfortable feelings and

> some were real hunger – I get them when I don't eat for hours and

> hours. I thought I should eat when I am hungry and stop eating just

> before I feel full. It works. I am eating less and enjoying it more

> and I lost weight last week AND I wasn't even dieting.

> But there are still those emotional benders. I decided to try

> something different this week. I started to walk. Thought it would

> help. It didn't. I had an argument with my sister and I felt just

> like I did when I was a child. She won the argument and I felt

> helpless. I knew I could count on food and boy did I go at it.

> I don't think this is working. 

>

>

> ONE WEEK LATER

> Dear Self,

> You know what I said about walking? Well, I was wrong. It does work,

> but it takes time. I also realized that using food to manage my

> feelings has been going on for years and years. There are different

> feelings, situations, people that set off my emotional overeating.

> I'm going to pay attention to these triggers and do something else,

> instead of eating. The feelings are still there after I eat and so is

> some extra weight.

>

> I also figured out that it's not enough to just stop using food to

> soothe myself – I need to understand and manage my emotions. The more

> I write, the clearer it becomes. I know if I want a permanent

> solution, I need to find ways to fulfill myself. Food won't do that

> for me. I need to do it for myself. I'll really think about this one.

> My best friend, also an EE, told me that I could think better, if my

> mind is relaxed. How the heck do you relax your mind? She said, you

> can relax or calm your mind, just by relaxing your body – deep

> breathing, mediation and yoga are tried and true methods to unwind

> your body. I'll try it this week.

> Feeling much better about myself.

>

>

> TWO WEEKS LATER

> Dear Self,

> This week had some highs and some lows. I did some deep breathing and

> relaxation. It really did help. I am still taking my watercolor

> classes and doing a lot of walking. It all really helps. I figured

> out with all the walking, deep breathing and painting, I don't have

> enough time to eat too much. Just kidding. But, I really do feel

> better when I figure out ways to help myself.

>

> P.S. I know you are reading and paying attention, and I do intend to

> keep writing in my diary, but I want to send my next letter to other

> emotional eaters.

>

>

> TWO WEEKS LATER

> Dear EE's,

> I want to tell you that part of being human is having feelings and so

> is eating. It's when we connect the two that we get in trouble. I

> know that food has always comforted us and soothed us. Heck, when we

> were infants, weren't we fed and rocked simultaneously? Didn't we

> celebrate holidays and birthdays and good times with food? I even

> remember being offered cookies every time I was cranky. Its no wonder

> we've come to the conclusion, albeit an unconscious one, that food

> makes us feel better.

>

> But, take it from me it really doesn't help in the long run. This is

> what has been working for me. Maybe it can help you too.

> - I stay " in-touch " with my feelings by maintaining a journal.

> - I express my feelings, instead of stuffing them.

> - I reach out to other people for advice and support.

> - I focus on what is good and positive in my life.

> - I talk to myself as if I was my own best friend.

> - Everyday, I do an attitude check. If I don't like what I see, I

> change it.

> - I treat myself with respect.

> - I am more friendly and social.

> - I take classes to express my creativity.

> - I deep breathe to relax.

> - I do volunteer work once a week.

> - I eat right most of the time and I make sure I don't deprive myself.

> - I walk a lot.

> - I realize that eating too much doesn't make me a bad person.

> - I view the urge to eat too much when I am not hungry, as a flag to

> pay attention to my feelings and a wake up call, to find ways to get

> more satisfaction out of life.

> - I stop feeling like a victim because I know I have choices in life.

>

> In a nutshell: I had to adjust my attitude, realizing that my

> thinking can help or hurt me; I got more involved with life; I found

> activities that added meaning to my life; I take better care of my

> body; I build in time to have some fun, to exercise, and to take a

> few minutes each day to relax and just smell the roses. My big

> attitude change: I have what it takes to make the changes to turn

> around my emotional overeating. Its not easy, but what's the

> alternative?

>

> I pay attention to that defining moment when I decide to eat. I know

> that the associations I have made between food and comfort are

> largely unconscious, but the actual decision to eat is a conscious

> choice. There is always an all-important deciding moment. At that

> moment of decision, I can stop, think and choose, instead of eating

> impulsively.

>

> Right now, and this thought may change in the coming months, I think

> I will always have the tendency to reach for food, when the going

> gets rough. After all, I have been doing it for years and years. I

> just have to pay attention to make sure I don't use food as my drug

> to deaden feelings.

>

> Yours truly,

> EE.

>

>

> http://www.calorieking.com/library/article.php?art_id=215

>

>

>

>