Update and a little vent *vent is a little political

[Guest guest]

Hey everyone.

today was a so so day. We didn't take Cat off the vent today, the dr said

her lungs were just not strong enough yet. I am glad in one way, i don't

want to take her off the vent too early and then have to shove that tube

down her throat again. I just can't do that to her if i can prevent it by

leaving her on until we are sure that she is strong enough to be off of it.

In another way it upset me a bit because I miss talking with her so much.

i have been writing everything i want to say to her down. i know she will

want to know everything and i don't want to lose it to brain fog. so we are

in a 24 hour wait and see about the vent.

now for my little vent...(vent is a little political at the end, don't read

if you are offended by the idea of gay marriage)

we had a problem today with Cat's mom. she is a drama junkie and it's about

to drive me crazy. after working herself into throwing up all weekend on

friday she stayed home for sat and sun. well on sunday she asked if there

were any medical decisions to be made. i told her no that Cat's son and i

were working together to make the decisions since i had talked with Cat

about all of this stuff I know by heart her wishes and our son has legal

right to order things. we have been making a great team and everything has

gone smoothly. Well she decided this morning that she was going to get out

of bed and come over here. when she got here she walked past my dogs in

their crate sleeping peacefully (well okay one growled at her when she

looked at them) and swore at them. then they went back into our son's room

and proceeded to fight in front of him over stupid crap upsetting him and

his aide that is like family. once they had everyone here suffiently upset

they announced they were going to the hospital. greaaaaaaat

so we get to the hospital and i sent our son in first. big mistake. Cat's

mom hadn't done the things that i normally do before our son sees her, like

smoothing her hair and making sure there is no blood showing from her

insulin checks. he was so upset and i felt so guilty for putting him

through that. Then i looked on the door and saw that Cat's mom had put up a

contact list (i know she did it because it was her writing) with only her

number and Cat's sister's number (the woman that hates Cat for being gay and

i want her making medical decisions for Cat?? i don't think so)

It was a total slap in the face to me and to our son. Thankfully he didn't

notice it. our son has cerebral palsy and unfortunately his grandmother

believes he is too slow to understand and make these decisions. He's not,

yes someone (me) has to explain things slower and in different language to

him but he is not stupid or slow. so grandma basically showed up to cause

problems. the only thing i kept thinking all day was, if one of us was a

man instead of two lesbians we wouldn't be going through this at all. it was

the first time in my life i wished i wasn't a lesbian and that i was a

straight male so the medical staff would know that i have the most legal

right to make decisions and i wouldn't have to constantly assert the fact

our son has the legal rights and i know her wishes. it was driving me crazy

until i saw her primary dr and her respitory dr. i sat down with both of

them and explained what was going on and that i was worried about someone

that doesn't know Cat's wishes taking over her medical care. they both

assured me that they believe our son and I have the most right and if it

came down to conflicting orders from the family they would go with our

requests. that helped me so much, one of the dr's said that she had never

thought of how hard it would be to know what to do but not be able to do it

for a loved one just because of her sex.

i told her if we were straight and married none of this would be in

question. then i joked that this is why the gay community will never quit

fighting for gay marriage. She just said that i had changed her mind about

it in our 10 minute talk maybe i should become more publicly active. i just

laughed and said that i didn't want to paint a target on my chest for

giggles.

so i learned some things today. Don't ever let our son in first. The dr's

she has are wonderful and i can trust them even more now. and when this is

over i am going to scrape together all the pennies we have and get the

medical power of attorney written up for her (i don't have this concern with

my family because they know my wishes and would defer to Cat anyways because

of her medical experience). and that if i say I am following Cat's wishes

enough it sounds like a song. and i learned sometimes all someone needs to

change thier opinion is to see what it is really like on the other side of

the coin.

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[Guest guest]

Dear BlueMoonWolf,

I'm glad to hear that your medical team is understanding of your

situation. I hope Cat's strength comes back soon. Even though I'm

not religious, I believe in sending prayers. So know that I'm

praying for both of you and your son.

Sounds like your mother in-law has such a boring life that she needs

to cause a scene just to get some attention. May she trip over her

own bad attitude and get some sense knocked back into her!

Love,

" J Goodwin " <BlueMoonwolf_@h...> wrote:

Hey everyone. today was a so so day. We didn't take Cat off the

vent today...

[Guest guest]

Thank you for the update. I hope she gets well and your

family has a change of mind.

Update and a little vent *vent is a little political

Hey everyone.

today was a so so day. We didn't take Cat off the vent today, the dr

said

her lungs were just not strong enough yet. I am glad in one way, i

don't

want to take her off the vent too early and then have to shove that

tube

down her throat again. I just can't do that to her if i can prevent it

by

leaving her on until we are sure that she is strong enough to be off of

it.

In another way it upset me a bit because I miss talking with her so

much.

i have been writing everything i want to say to her down. i know she

will

want to know everything and i don't want to lose it to brain fog. so we

are

in a 24 hour wait and see about the vent.

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