Social avoidance

[Guest guest]

I read all the posts today about this issue today, and I just can't

help myself. I too want to add my few cents.

Letting your illnesses control your life, is the worst thing you

could do to your self. I am 35 years old, and my 20's were the worst

years of my life.

Not only do I have cea, but as some of you have read yesterdays

post I also have other " stuff " AND I stutter since the age of 3.

Just imagine going through life not beeing able to express yourself

as you would like. Simple things like ordering in a restaurant.

You order not what you want to eat, but what you can say.

Asking your family members or co-workers to make a phone call for

you. Or just the sheer panick you feel when the phone rings.

Avoiding any speaking situation you can. I could go on and on....

Every time I had to speak to someone, I would tense up. My face would

turn bright red, and it would contort as I try to squeeze out the

words. Just imagine how " funny " that looks.

Going for a job interview is like " the icing on the cake " and then

some.

A comment made to me 6 years ago has changed my life.

I was working for a Bank at that time. My Manager called me to her

office and insisted that I answer the phones a certain way. She

overheard me answer the phone without saying " Bank of Montreal " .

I tried to explain to her, that I can not say the word Montreal, no

matter how much I practice. I had worked for the Bank for 11 years,

had an excellent record and my other Managers understood. Well, she

then gave me the advise of a lifetime!

She suggested I quit the Bank, and find a job with deaf children.

This way, they can't hear me stutter.

It took me months to get out of the low I was in. I promised myself I

will never again let anybody humiliate me this way.

I learned to laugh at myself. I don't worry about what people think

anymore.

If they judge me based on my face or speech, it's not someone I would

want to be friends with anyways.

I intend to live my life to the fullest, and no matter how annoying

cea or stuttering is, it won't control my life.

Don't let it control yours.

Isabella

[Guest guest]

hi all,

my two cents on the topic is that i have felt the

worst with this illness not when my skin was

necessarily at its worst, but when i felt

psychologically trapped by rosacea, betrayed by my

body, and hopeless about effecting any kind of change.

what i found most helpful when i start to feel

helpless is to simply acknowledge that i feel

(helpless, angry, hopeless) right now, and i won't

always feel that way. what i have found unhelpful is

telling myself (or when others tell me) i shouldn't

feel a particular way because " it could be worse. "

like with any chronic condition, we're going to have

good days and we're going to have bad days. i am not

quite thirty and i think i better pace myself so i can

have the energy and the desire to manage this illness

creatively, and healthfully as long as i have it. yes,

i do long for the days when i could wash my face with

dial soap and not think twice about it, but these are

different days.

i have gotten a lot of help from this group, *so* much

more information and tips than i have ever gotten from

any doctor and that in and of itself makes me feel

hopeful.

thanks to all of you,

melissa

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[Guest guest]

--- isabellav1@... wrote:

> I don't worry about

> what people think

> anymore.

> If they judge me based on my face or speech, it's

> not someone I would

> want to be friends with anyways.

> I intend to live my life to the fullest, and no

> matter how annoying

> cea or stuttering is, it won't control my life.

>

> Don't let it control yours.

>

> Isabella

Beautiful and well said, Isabella

=====

" You're a masterpiece that all creation quietly applauds,

and you're covered with the fingerprints of God "

W.

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