Re: SOCIAL PROBLEMS..

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I haven't posted in a while, but have been following along for some time now.

Anyway, we are having some serious social issues. I know it's common for

apraxic children to have these social problems..but i wanted to hear from some

other parents, as far as your own experiences and what you do to help your

child.

My daughter Hailey (almost 3) has so much trouble in large groups. She has this

one little best friend that she plays with everyday. But if there happens to be

another child at their house, she won't play. She just stands there..she wines

for me to pick her up and so on. But on the other hand, she never wants to

leave. We went to a birthday party today and she wouldn't go near the other

children. We stayed inside when they were out and vice versa. She wanted to be

at the party, she liked watching the children, but she just wouldn't participate

in anything! Does anyone else experience this..and what causes this problem?

Is it the lack of speech...because at 3 years old, i don't think Hailey knows

that is problem for her yet. I am so upset about this..I want her to be as

" normal " as possible, but when she won't go near other children it makes her

look different.

Thanks in advance for your advice..

Amy

We Made Changes

Your email is all new.

Learn More

Share Feedback

Recent Activity

29New Members

Visit Your Group

[Guest guest]

I'm not an expert in this area but my son has problems in groups as well.

although he loves to be around other children he prefers to do activities on his

own even when he is with other children. For him it's because he simply doesn't

have the spontaneous speech to engage other children in play activity. Some 3

years olds who don't have a speech and communication disorder if they are shy

tend not to engage in play when there are a lot of other children around. I have

observed this first hand when we take our son to an indoor playground to play.

My son is shy as well never mind the fact that he does not have the spontaneous

speech other children have. If your child has limited spontaneous speech it is

very difficult to engage other children to play. The advice I have been given is

that exposure to other children for modelling behaviour is the best way to help

social difficulties. Parallel play is still an opportunity for socialization

even if the child is not speaking

directly to that child. Your daughter may be incredibly shy as well. She way

feel insecure with lot of other children around especially if she is having

speech challenges. If you don't have a lot of spontaneous speech there are bound

to be social difficulties. My son is almost 4 and a half and he is very tall for

his age this makes it even harder to socialize with other children who have

normal speech development because they don't understand why a child his size is

unable to engage in spontaneous conversation. My son has other sensory issues

that impede his social development as well. Maybe on some level she knows her

speech is not the same as other children and becomes insecure when another child

is at her little friends house. She may be getting totally overwhelmed when

there is so much activity at large gatherings which is why she starts whining

and becoming clingy. When Braydon has a sensory input episode we usually get him

away from whatever set him off and get

him calmed down . He sometimes gets upset when he hears certain sounds that are

unfamiliar to him We don't know why this happens we are getting his hearing

tested again to find out what is going on. But I wouldn't worry too much about

your daughter's behaviour it sounds like a lot of our kids have the same social

issues that are part of the apraxia. Braydon loves to have people over to visit

our house and becomes absolutely devastated on some days when they leave yet he

has extreme difficulties engaging play activity with other children right now.

We are going to continue to expose him to as many social opportunities as we

possibly can and in time his social difficulties will be a lot less obvious. I

know it's hard but try not to worry too much at least your daughter has one

little friend she can play with. My son has absolutely no friends his age around

here that he can play with so he has only us on a regular basis to relate to

except when we take him to museums and

the indoor playgrounds but that is not the same as a friend he can play with on

a regular basis.

abellovin@... wrote:

Hi ,

I haven't posted in a while, but have been following along for some time now.

Anyway, we are having some serious social issues. I know it's common for apraxic

children to have these social problems..but i wanted to hear from some other

parents, as far as your own experiences and what you do to help your child.

My daughter Hailey (almost 3) has so much trouble in large groups. She has this

one little best friend that she plays with everyday. But if there happens to be

another child at their house, she won't play. She just stands there..she wines

for me to pick her up and so on. But on the other hand, she never wants to

leave. We went to a birthday party today and she wouldn't go near the other

children. We stayed inside when they were out and vice versa. She wanted to be

at the party, she liked watching the children, but she just wouldn't participate

in anything! Does anyone else experience this..and what causes this problem? Is

it the lack of speech...because at 3 years old, i don't think Hailey knows that

is problem for her yet. I am so upset about this..I want her to be as " normal "

as possible, but when she won't go near other children it makes her look

different.

Thanks in advance for your advice..

Amy

We Made Changes

Your email is all new.

Learn More

Share Feedback

Recent Activity

29New Members

Visit Your Group

[Guest guest]

Hi Amy-

IMO any young child who is language delayed and showing social issues

as well should be evaluated by a neuropsychologist or neurologist for

autism spectrum disorder. It is hard for less experienced

professionals to accurately evaluate a child who has little language

and may also have high functioning autism. I think it is important to

find out as soon as possible whether autism is a correct diagosis or

not, since early intervention is critical. People in the general

public as well as some pediatricians don't recognize the early signs

of mild autism, so I encourage you to get an eval from an experienced

neuro professional (not a speech therapist, occupational therapist,

pediatrician, etc).

good luck,

>

> Hi ,

> I haven't posted in a while, but have been following along for some

time now. Anyway, we are having some serious social issues. I know

it's common for apraxic children to have these social problems..but i

wanted to hear from some other parents, as far as your own experiences

and what you do to help your child.

> My daughter Hailey (almost 3) has so much trouble in large groups.

She has this one little best friend that she plays with everyday. But

if there happens to be another child at their house, she won't play.

She just stands there..she wines for me to pick her up and so on. But

on the other hand, she never wants to leave. We went to a birthday

party today and she wouldn't go near the other children. We stayed

inside when they were out and vice versa. She wanted to be at the

party, she liked watching the children, but she just wouldn't

participate in anything! Does anyone else experience this..and what

causes this problem? Is it the lack of speech...because at 3 years

old, i don't think Hailey knows that is problem for her yet. I am so

upset about this..I want her to be as " normal " as possible, but when

she won't go near other children it makes her look different.

> Thanks in advance for your advice..

> Amy

[Guest guest]

Amy,

The way you described your daughter sounds very much like some of

the scenarios in the Out-of-Synch Child, a book about Sensory

Processing Disorder. Kids who have SPD or even just sensory

processing " glitches " but not full-blown disorder are described in

the book as wanting to have fun but not knowing how, so they stand

on the sidelines and watch. Even without sensory problems, I'll bet

not having speech could have this effect too. How does one

socialize without speech? Think about it. What would you do if you

couldn't speak? Most likely you would stand back and watch

wistfully as others socialize and interact. Even at 3, she is

probably aware that she isn't able to relate to other children in

the same way they relate to each other. I'm not an expert by any

stretch, but personally I would take comfort in the fact that she

watches the other kids, taking interest in their activities. She

might just need help playing with them. I wonder if you could

schedule structured play dates with groups of kids with games that

don't require speaking. If you led the activities and made sure

each child had a role (or maybe get someone else to help with this

so you can be available for your daughter) she might feel more

comfortable getting involved. I recommend that book too (out of

synch child). I think it's worth reading even if your child doesn't

have sensory problems because it stresses the importance of teaching

children with a multi-sensory approach, which is great for all kids,

in my opinion.

> >

> > Hi ,

> > I haven't posted in a while, but have been following along for

some

> time now. Anyway, we are having some serious social issues. I

know

> it's common for apraxic children to have these social

problems..but i

> wanted to hear from some other parents, as far as your own

experiences

> and what you do to help your child.

> > My daughter Hailey (almost 3) has so much trouble in large

groups.

> She has this one little best friend that she plays with everyday.

But

> if there happens to be another child at their house, she won't

play.

> She just stands there..she wines for me to pick her up and so on.

But

> on the other hand, she never wants to leave. We went to a birthday

> party today and she wouldn't go near the other children. We stayed

> inside when they were out and vice versa. She wanted to be at the

> party, she liked watching the children, but she just wouldn't

> participate in anything! Does anyone else experience this..and

what

> causes this problem? Is it the lack of speech...because at 3 years

> old, i don't think Hailey knows that is problem for her yet. I am

so

> upset about this..I want her to be as " normal " as possible, but

when

> she won't go near other children it makes her look different.

> > Thanks in advance for your advice..

> > Amy

>

[Guest guest]

Amy-

I found your post to be very interesting. turned 3 in early

May, so our girls are about the same age.

" Is it the lack of speech...because at 3 years old, i don't think Hailey

knows that is problem for her yet "

First of all, I wouldn't assume that Hailey doesn't realize that her

lack of speech isn't a problem. I am very sure that has

realized that her speech has been a problem for quite some time.

Seriously. I believe that this has been a driver of her extreme shyness

and " sideline " participation in group activities. has been in a

preschool for 2 year olds this past year (not a special ed or EI

prechool, just a preschool in which I enrolled her way back when - 2

times per week, 2 hours each time). Although she enjoyed it, it has

been onlyover the past 2 months or so has she come out of her shell and

begun to participate more. During this time period, her speech has also

exploded. I don't think that this is a coincidence.

's social interactions are probably a a bit immature at the

moment, mostly because she has spent the last 10 months learning to

talk, whereas most other kids her age have spent that time expanding

their speech into conversational language. I think that is why kids

with speech delays and disorders tend to be a bit socially immature.

So, really, we are in a similar situation. I truly believe that, as

speech develops, so will social skill. So, my advice is just to be

patient and also to encourage social interactions. is like a

new kid compared to a few months ago. I bet the same will happen to

Hailey eventually.

I hope this helps!

Warm regards,

******************

(Rochester, NY)

Mom to , 3.1 years, Verbal Apraxia

& , 10 months

________________________________

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of

abellovin@...

Sent: Saturday, June 10, 2006 2:58 PM

Subject: Re: [ ] SOCIAL PROBLEMS..

Hi ,

I haven't posted in a while, but have been following along for some time

now. Anyway, we are having some serious social issues. I know it's

common for apraxic children to have these social problems..but i wanted

to hear from some other parents, as far as your own experiences and what

you do to help your child.

My daughter Hailey (almost 3) has so much trouble in large groups. She

has this one little best friend that she plays with everyday. But if

there happens to be another child at their house, she won't play. She

just stands there..she wines for me to pick her up and so on. But on the

other hand, she never wants to leave.

[Guest guest]

P.S. - My daughter has been evaluated for autism and she is NOT on the

spectrum whatsoever.

________________________________

From: Oakes,

Sent: Saturday, June 10, 2006 10:29 PM

' '

Subject: RE: [ ] SOCIAL PROBLEMS..

Amy-

I found your post to be very interesting. turned 3 in early

May, so our girls are about the same age.

" Is it the lack of speech...because at 3 years old, i don't think Hailey

knows that is problem for her yet "

First of all, I wouldn't assume that Hailey doesn't realize that her

lack of speech isn't a problem. I am very sure that has

realized that her speech has been a problem for quite some time.

Seriously. I believe that this has been a driver of her extreme shyness

and " sideline " participation in group activities. has been in a

preschool for 2 year olds this past year (not a special ed or EI

prechool, just a preschool in which I enrolled her way back when - 2

times per week, 2 hours each time). Although she enjoyed it, it has

been onlyover the past 2 months or so has she come out of her shell and

begun to participate more. During this time period, her speech has also

exploded. I don't think that this is a coincidence.

's social interactions are probably a a bit immature at the

moment, mostly because she has spent the last 10 months learning to

talk, whereas most other kids her age have spent that time expanding

their speech into conversational language. I think that is why kids

with speech delays and disorders tend to be a bit socially immature.

[Guest guest]

Hi there,

I think social " issues " can be normal in any young child, even without

speech issues. Maybe your daughter is an introvert or shy? I know it's

hard, but maybe this is " normal " for your daughter. Not all kids are

joiners. Perhaps apraxia compounds the issue, but I don't think all

such behavior is caused solely by speech issues. My daughter (almost 5

years old) also has difficulty interacting with large groups of

children. She's not apraxic and was an early talker. I help her in

various ways. I tell her what to expect in a coming situation if it's

not a routine thing (i.e., " We're going to a party, there's going to be

lots of kids. They'll probably be excited and noisy. It's okay if you

want to watch for a while and hang with me. " ), tell her what people

expect socially (i.e., " When the nice ladies say how cute your dress is

or how sweet you are, just smile and nod, that's all they want. " ), that

sort of thing. My daughter is unique in that she has social anxiety

disorder (I'm not suggesting that your daughter has this), and has come

a really long way - from having hysterical screaming fits if somebody

said " hi " to her at age 2, to dropping to the floor at the same thing at

age 3, to standing quietly at age 4, to many times being able to respond

at almost age 5. If somebody tries to extend a conversation with her,

she still tends to drop to the floor. Try that for " normal " <g>. She

actually spent most of last year as a " horse " (pretend playing) as a

coping mechanism.

Anyways, this is getting long. Just wanted to let you know that I can

relate. I'd also be happy to chat off-list (knells @ sti . net).

abellovin@... wrote:

>

> Hi ,

> I haven't posted in a while, but have been following along for some

> time now. Anyway, we are having some serious social issues. I know

> it's common for apraxic children to have these social problems..but i

> wanted to hear from some other parents, as far as your own experiences

> and what you do to help your child.

> My daughter Hailey (almost 3) has so much trouble in large groups. She

> has this one little best friend that she plays with everyday. But if

> there happens to be another child at their house, she won't play. She

> just stands there..she wines for me to pick her up and so on. But on

> the other hand, she never wants to leave. We went to a birthday party

> today and she wouldn't go near the other children. We stayed inside

> when they were out and vice versa. She wanted to be at the party, she

> liked watching the children, but she just wouldn't participate in

> anything! Does anyone else experience this..and what causes this

> problem? Is it the lack of speech...because at 3 years old, i don't

> think Hailey knows that is problem for her yet. I am so upset about

> this..I want her to be as " normal " as possible, but when she won't go

> near other children it makes her look different.

> Thanks in advance for your advice..

> Amy

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I agree with Kritin,

This has come up so many times before that I don't even know which

archives to post on it! Know your child's temperament and best

learning style (regardless of speech impairment or delay or not -

there's info on this for " normal " children) and observe them in one

on one or group situations to know which type of preschool placement

may be best. Does the child thrive or withdraw in groups of

children that are strangers? Does the child need time to get to

know someone before he warms up to him? Those are just two of the

things to think about.

My son Dakota who had more of a delay in speech (his expressive and

receptive ability were always about the same) thrived in a " normal "

preschool with group play and learning, while my son Tanner who is

apraxic (expressive was always and still is far below his receptive

ability) thrived in special needs preschool placement and one on one

learning, therapy, and social situations.

A 3 year old who has a communication impairment but has normal

receptive ability (is aware he or she is unable to communicate well)

may withdraw or lash out due to frustration. In addition as one

person just pointed out -some children are just shy at certain

points of their life. Doesn't mean they will always be shy (and

even if they remained shy doesn't mean they aren't " normal " )

I was shy as a child at one point and so was Tanner. For both of us

that was a stage for some reason. Today shy would never be a word

to describe either of us! Either of us today would be the first one

to say hello to a stranger, or the first one on the dance floor. In

fact yesterday we were in Germany (OK -in Epcot Center) and Tanner

was pulling his friend and brother onto the empty dance floor while

the band played their fun music - and then all of them started

turning and dancing with some other children. Next thing you know

the entire floor was filled with people (the shy ones too I'm

guessing). Today both my boys who were very different as preschool

children play well either one on one, in groups, OR alone. They

both are as normal as I'd want him to be. Being shy to strangers

could be a good thing at times, it doesn't mean autism, and doesn't

mean a lifetime of shyness either!

I don't have time to try to figure out 's " new " (and so far

horrible) search engine so can't find the archives on this that I

wanted -so hope the following will do for now.

Apraxia/late talkers and shyness

Thu Apr 25, 2002 11:13 pm

To jump in with the shy part. Tanner too was not the type of child

to lash out when he was frustrated from not being able to speak -he

was definitely the type that would go into a corner or into a shell

if he was not comfortable.

That was then before therapy and EFAs. Today -after what I posted

this morning about the 'how to make it rain' story, something else

happened to show a real change from the past. Tanner's regular bus

driver was out sick today so he had two different sub drivers -one

who picked him up this morning and a different one that brought him

home this afternoon. When I got him off the bus the driver who I

never met before (he told me he was new) said " Your son is so

entertaining -he talked to me the whole way home and directed me and

told me which way to turn to get to his house " And then even better -

(he said quietly) " I hope you don't mind me asking -but why does

your son go to that school " (Tanner goes to a preschool that is for

hearing impaired children that is heavy speech based)

Yeah!!!!!

So yes, the shyness does go away as the speech comes in, or at least

it did for Tanner.

Which inspired me to my suggested future Surgeon General's Warning

about EFAs:

*****Surgeon General's Warning*****

Giving your late talker child EFAs may give all of those people who

said " Don't worry he's just a late talker " the ability to be able to

say " See I told you so " a few weeks or months later.

=====

[Guest guest]

any child with a communication/speech delay is going to have it

affect their interactions and does not mean that they are autistic.

They just don't have the benefit of years of speech and interaction

and learning how to do it. This does not mean it cannot be

facilitated, but it's one more building block that goes on top of

speech that has to wait a bit.

Good luck -

Marina

>

> P.S. - My daughter has been evaluated for autism and she is NOT on

the

> spectrum whatsoever.

>

> ________________________________

>

> From: Oakes,

> Sent: Saturday, June 10, 2006 10:29 PM

> ' '

> Subject: RE: [ ] SOCIAL PROBLEMS..

>

>

> Amy-

>

> I found your post to be very interesting. turned 3 in

early

> May, so our girls are about the same age.

>

> " Is it the lack of speech...because at 3 years old, i don't think

Hailey

> knows that is problem for her yet "

> First of all, I wouldn't assume that Hailey doesn't realize that

her

> lack of speech isn't a problem. I am very sure that has

> realized that her speech has been a problem for quite some time.

> Seriously. I believe that this has been a driver of her extreme

shyness

> and " sideline " participation in group activities. has

been in a

> preschool for 2 year olds this past year (not a special ed or EI

> prechool, just a preschool in which I enrolled her way back when -

2

> times per week, 2 hours each time). Although she enjoyed it, it

has

> been onlyover the past 2 months or so has she come out of her

shell and

> begun to participate more. During this time period, her speech

has also

> exploded. I don't think that this is a coincidence.

>

> 's social interactions are probably a a bit immature at the

> moment, mostly because she has spent the last 10 months learning to

> talk, whereas most other kids her age have spent that time

expanding

> their speech into conversational language. I think that is why

kids

> with speech delays and disorders tend to be a bit socially

immature.

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you all..to those who responded back with valuable suggestions for my

daughter's social problems. It was interesting to see how so many people can

have so many opinions on one topic. But i do agree, Hailey DOES have sensory

issues and that very well could play a role in the socializung piece. I am

pretty positive she is not autistic..she attempts to make conversation, has

excellent eye-contact, socializes (just not in groups) and has excellent

receptive ability. I will continue to encourage her to be a part of the group,

even if it's not exactly interacting, but more just watching. It's just so sad

at times, because you can see it in her face how much she wants to play with the

group..it just seems almost painful for her to join in. Oh and yes..she

definitely has a shy personality (same as myself) but this is much bigger than

just being shy. We are on a 5 month waiting list to actually see a doctor, I am

very anxious to get a doctor's opinion on all of this.

thanks again to everyone..as usual I find comfort in this site!

Amy

[ ] Re: SOCIAL PROBLEMS..

Amy,

The way you described your daughter sounds very much like some of

the scenarios in the Out-of-Synch Child, a book about Sensory

Processing Disorder. Kids who have SPD or even just sensory

processing " glitches " but not full-blown disorder are described in

the book as wanting to have fun but not knowing how, so they stand

on the sidelines and watch. Even without sensory problems, I'll bet

not having speech could have this effect too. How does one

socialize without speech? Think about it. What would you do if you

couldn't speak? Most likely you would stand back and watch

wistfully as others socialize and interact. Even at 3, she is

probably aware that she isn't able to relate to other children in

the same way they relate to each other. I'm not an expert by any

stretch, but personally I would take comfort in the fact that she

watches the other kids, taking interest in their activities. She

might just need help playing with them. I wonder if you could

schedule structured play dates with groups of kids with games that

don't require speaking. If you led the activities and made sure

each child had a role (or maybe get someone else to help with this

so you can be available for your daughter) she might feel more

comfortable getting involved. I recommend that book too (out of

synch child). I think it's worth reading even if your child doesn't

have sensory problems because it stresses the importance of teaching

children with a multi-sensory approach, which is great for all kids,

in my opinion.

> >

> > Hi ,

> > I haven't posted in a while, but have been following along for

some

> time now. Anyway, we are having some serious social issues. I

know

> it's common for apraxic children to have these social

problems..but i

> wanted to hear from some other parents, as far as your own

experiences

> and what you do to help your child.

> > My daughter Hailey (almost 3) has so much trouble in large

groups.

> She has this one little best friend that she plays with everyday.

But

> if there happens to be another child at their house, she won't

play.

> She just stands there..she wines for me to pick her up and so on.

But

> on the other hand, she never wants to leave. We went to a birthday

> party today and she wouldn't go near the other children. We stayed

> inside when they were out and vice versa. She wanted to be at the

> party, she liked watching the children, but she just wouldn't

> participate in anything! Does anyone else experience this..and

what

> causes this problem? Is it the lack of speech...because at 3 years

> old, i don't think Hailey knows that is problem for her yet. I am

so

> upset about this..I want her to be as " normal " as possible, but

when

> she won't go near other children it makes her look different.

> > Thanks in advance for your advice..

> > Amy

>

________________________________________________________________________

Check out AOL.com today. Breaking news, video search, pictures, email and IM.

All on demand. Always Free.

[Guest guest]

I have an almost 6 year old daughter with Apraxia. She was exactly

the same way. Extremely shy, afraid of strangers, would not play

with new kids, etc. In fact when she was evaluated at age 4, I was

told by the speech pathologist to take her to a developmental

pediatrician because she thought she could have an autism spectrum

disorder. She was never like that with people she knew. Anyways I

did not take her to the dev. pediatrician because I was pretty much

like her when I was little (I did not have apraxia) and I did just

fine! So to not make the story long, we joined two home school

groups a year and a half ago to provide for social interaction. I

did not pressure her to act " normal " I was just supportive of her

own personality. As of today, she rarely acts shy if front of other

people, in fact just the other day we went to the library to listen

to some man sing. There were over 100 people (whom she did not know)

and the performer asked the kids if and where they were going on

vacation. My daughter immediately answered " I'm going on a big

ship " . I know there is no way she would have done this a year ago.

So my suggestion is just to provide for social interaction and be

supportive.

Margo

> >

> > P.S. - My daughter has been evaluated for autism and she is NOT

on

> the

> > spectrum whatsoever.

> >

> > ________________________________

> >

> > From: Oakes,

> > Sent: Saturday, June 10, 2006 10:29 PM

> > ' '

> > Subject: RE: [ ] SOCIAL PROBLEMS..

> >

> >

> > Amy-

> >

> > I found your post to be very interesting. turned 3 in

> early

> > May, so our girls are about the same age.

> >

> > " Is it the lack of speech...because at 3 years old, i don't

think

> Hailey

> > knows that is problem for her yet "

> > First of all, I wouldn't assume that Hailey doesn't realize that

> her

> > lack of speech isn't a problem. I am very sure that has

> > realized that her speech has been a problem for quite some time.

> > Seriously. I believe that this has been a driver of her extreme

> shyness

> > and " sideline " participation in group activities. has

> been in a

> > preschool for 2 year olds this past year (not a special ed or EI

> > prechool, just a preschool in which I enrolled her way back

when -

> 2

> > times per week, 2 hours each time). Although she enjoyed it, it

> has

> > been onlyover the past 2 months or so has she come out of her

> shell and

> > begun to participate more. During this time period, her speech

> has also

> > exploded. I don't think that this is a coincidence.

> >

> > 's social interactions are probably a a bit immature at

the

> > moment, mostly because she has spent the last 10 months learning

to

> > talk, whereas most other kids her age have spent that time

> expanding

> > their speech into conversational language. I think that is why

> kids

> > with speech delays and disorders tend to be a bit socially

> immature.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

A lot of children with high functioning autism also *want* to interact

and socialize, and just don't know how to go about it. Having a severe

language disorder makes it more difficult to diagnose autism. That's

why I'm saying it's important to have a well-qualified professional

evaluate a child that has language delay, sensory and social issues.

> > >

> > > Hi ,

> > > I haven't posted in a while, but have been following along for

> some

> > time now. Anyway, we are having some serious social issues. I

> know

> > it's common for apraxic children to have these social

> problems..but i

> > wanted to hear from some other parents, as far as your own

> experiences

> > and what you do to help your child.

> > > My daughter Hailey (almost 3) has so much trouble in large

> groups.

> > She has this one little best friend that she plays with everyday.

> But

> > if there happens to be another child at their house, she won't

> play.

> > She just stands there..she wines for me to pick her up and so on.

> But

> > on the other hand, she never wants to leave. We went to a birthday

> > party today and she wouldn't go near the other children. We stayed

> > inside when they were out and vice versa. She wanted to be at the

> > party, she liked watching the children, but she just wouldn't

> > participate in anything! Does anyone else experience this..and

> what

> > causes this problem? Is it the lack of speech...because at 3 years

> > old, i don't think Hailey knows that is problem for her yet. I am

> so

> > upset about this..I want her to be as " normal " as possible, but

> when

> > she won't go near other children it makes her look different.

> > > Thanks in advance for your advice..

> > > Amy

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Amy, I find that our children (speech delay to verbal apraxia etc )

are constantly under a microscrope for their social skills... I would

find it difficult to start conversing with everyone or even anyone in

the room if everyone in the room was speaking another langauge that

I did not understand and could not speak .. I would probably observe

more than particpate if at all. Sometimes difficulties with langauge

will do that - observing on the sidelines .

Your little girl is soooo young. She sounds adorable and wonderful to

me

Tina

> abellovin@ wrote:

> > > >

> > > > > > My daughter Hailey (almost 3) has so much trouble in large

> > groups.

> > > She has this one little best friend that she plays with everyday.

> > But

> > > if there happens to be another child at their house, she won't

> > play.

> > > She just stands there..she wines for me to pick her up and so on.

> > But

> > > on the other hand, she never wants to leave. > > > > Amy

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone,

I just want to say that I find this fascinating. My ds who is

almost 17YO want through something similar when he was younger. The

difference is that as a 3YO boy, he didn't have to talk to the other

boys. They were all so physical anyway. I mean, boys can build with

legos or other blocks or play with toy cars without talking so much.

What was really funny was that in his last year of preschool, his

best friend was German and spoke very little English. They still

managed to understand each other without talking.

But he would get frustrated with his sisters who talked (and still

talk)nonstop. He also refused to interact wiht adults that he didn't

know very well. He just got tired of trying to get adults to

understand him. One therapist wanted to have him tested for

emotional behavioral disorder because of his refusal to deal with

unknown adults. He is still shy around people that he doesn't know

very well, especially girls.

One of the things that my dh and I did to help to interact

more with others was to enroll him in team sports. We started with

baseball and soccer. Later, he decided that he wanted to participate

in football and basketball. We also allowed him to join Boy Scouts

where he developed a large sense of accomplishment. Through these

programs, he has developed some strong friendships. I have tried

very hard to help him develop a sense of balance in his life. He is

working hard to maintain that sense of balance.

>

> Amy-

>

> I found your post to be very interesting. turned 3 in

early

> May, so our girls are about the same age.

>

> " Is it the lack of speech...because at 3 years old, i don't think

Hailey

> knows that is problem for her yet "

> First of all, I wouldn't assume that Hailey doesn't realize that

her

> lack of speech isn't a problem. I am very sure that has

> realized that her speech has been a problem for quite some time.

> Seriously. I believe that this has been a driver of her extreme

shyness

> and " sideline " participation in group activities. has

been in a

> preschool for 2 year olds this past year (not a special ed or EI

> prechool, just a preschool in which I enrolled her way back when -

2

> times per week, 2 hours each time). Although she enjoyed it, it

has

> been onlyover the past 2 months or so has she come out of her

shell and

> begun to participate more. During this time period, her speech

has also

> exploded. I don't think that this is a coincidence.

>

> 's social interactions are probably a a bit immature at the

> moment, mostly because she has spent the last 10 months learning to

> talk, whereas most other kids her age have spent that time

expanding

> their speech into conversational language. I think that is why

kids

> with speech delays and disorders tend to be a bit socially

immature.

>

> So, really, we are in a similar situation. I truly believe that,

as

> speech develops, so will social skill. So, my advice is just to be

> patient and also to encourage social interactions. is

like a

> new kid compared to a few months ago. I bet the same will happen

to

> Hailey eventually.

>

> I hope this helps!

>

> Warm regards,

>

> ******************

> (Rochester, NY)

> Mom to , 3.1 years, Verbal Apraxia

> & , 10 months

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> From:

> [mailto: ] On Behalf Of

> abellovin@...

> Sent: Saturday, June 10, 2006 2:58 PM

>

> Subject: Re: [ ] SOCIAL PROBLEMS..

>

>

>

> Hi ,

> I haven't posted in a while, but have been following along for

some time

> now. Anyway, we are having some serious social issues. I know it's

> common for apraxic children to have these social problems..but i

wanted

> to hear from some other parents, as far as your own experiences

and what

> you do to help your child.

> My daughter Hailey (almost 3) has so much trouble in large groups.

She

> has this one little best friend that she plays with everyday. But

if

> there happens to be another child at their house, she won't play.

She

> just stands there..she wines for me to pick her up and so on. But

on the

> other hand, she never wants to leave.

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for that post..it's really interesting to hear from someone with a much

older child, to see what has worked for them. I agree that involving Hailey in

some team sports and organized groups (brownies) will be excellent exposure for

her. She's a little young for that right now..but she does attend gymnastics

with a group. She loves it there, but again, doesn't socialize too much.

However, i know it's important for her to be there and just observe the other

children and learn from them.

Thanks again..

Amy

Re: [ ] SOCIAL PROBLEMS..

>

>

>

> Hi ,

> I haven't posted in a while, but have been following along for

some time

> now. Anyway, we are having some serious social issues. I know it's

> common for apraxic children to have these social problems..but i

wanted

> to hear from some other parents, as far as your own experiences

and what

> you do to help your child.

> My daughter Hailey (almost 3) has so much trouble in large groups.

She

> has this one little best friend that she plays with everyday. But

if

> there happens to be another child at their house, she won't play.

She

> just stands there..she wines for me to pick her up and so on. But

on the

> other hand, she never wants to leave.

>

________________________________________________________________________

Check out AOL.com today. Breaking news, video search, pictures, email and IM.

All on demand. Always Free.

[Guest guest]

It seems that some are offended at my suggestion that a child with

significant language delay, sensory problems and social issues should

be evaluated for autism by a knowledgeable professional. It's just a

fact that apraxia is common among children with autism. From my own

experience, three is not young as far as starting intervention for

autism, so it is crucial to eliminate any doubt about whether a child

has autism at least at age 3.

And by the way, having autism does not make a child any less adorable

or wonderful.

[Guest guest]

Hi mary,

I valued your opinion, but I can sort of understand why some were offended by

your suggestion. Nobody wants the label " autism " thrown at them..escpesically

when they are already dealing with many other issues. And it is true that many

autistic children have apraxia, but not all children with apraxia have autism.

My daughter for example, is the farthest thing from autistic...not that i would

love her any less if she were. But as both a special ed. teacher (with autistic

experience) and the parent of Hailey, i attribute all of her many issues;

speech, sensory and social to apraxia. She does not have any of the

characteristics of being autistic, just a severe articulation problem and some

typical " soft signs " of apraxia.

Amy

[ ] Re: SOCIAL PROBLEMS..

It seems that some are offended at my suggestion that a child with

significant language delay, sensory problems and social issues should

be evaluated for autism by a knowledgeable professional. It's just a

fact that apraxia is common among children with autism. From my own

experience, three is not young as far as starting intervention for

autism, so it is crucial to eliminate any doubt about whether a child

has autism at least at age 3.

And by the way, having autism does not make a child any less adorable

or wonderful.

________________________________________________________________________

Check out AOL.com today. Breaking news, video search, pictures, email and IM.

All on demand. Always Free.

[Guest guest]

I don't think it's that folks are offended, but that there are so few

good folks out there to do the evaluating that children can be labeled

with something that isn't appropriate because they fit 1/3 of the

bill. I know that even with all the fabulous resources here in

Cincinnati, finding a great person who will look at the child as a

WHOLE is hard. I have 2 boys - one dev delayed and one purely

apraxic. My apraxic son, now nearly 8, is doing fabulously well and

only ever received ST. Because of his lack of language, however,

many " professionals " (and I use the term VERY LOOSELY) thought I

should have him labeled as PDD, ASD, etc.. It seems to be the hot

button right now - and, as I have a son who is delayed, but has not

received an ASD label - I can tell you that adorable only works with

family. Schools pigeon hole them whenever possible and forget that

just because you have a diagnosis doesn't mean that you're an

individual. Even " professionals " - like the psych who evaluated him

and said that he was " clearly severely MR, totally autistic and that I

would be lucky if he figured out cause and effect " . Then, with little

better than a pat on the head said " good luck " and left. Did I

mention that he's the best reader in his K class - reading at a 2nd

grade level? Doing addition, subtraction, etc.?? So CLEARLY not MR

that it's foolish. We are lucky that we have a great dev ped who read

the results and laughed - saying that she could see from 10 minutes

with him that he was a complex little guy, unwilling to share his

depths easily, but very obviously not MR and having LOTS of pretend

play. It's a slippery slope. All too many professionals (loosely

again) would like to label each and every child with SOMETHING...I am

very grateful that I went with my gut and ignored everyone (except my

pediatrician who knew my apraxic son from the age of 2 mos and his ST,

who had been with him for over a year at the time) and kept plodding

ahead.

Don't take offense - I don't think that's what was felt - just that an

evaluation is only as good as the person performing it. And the good

ones are few and far between. If only there were a comprehensive,

accepted blood test...

Marina

>

> It seems that some are offended at my suggestion that a child with

> significant language delay, sensory problems and social issues should

> be evaluated for autism by a knowledgeable professional. It's just a

> fact that apraxia is common among children with autism. From my own

> experience, three is not young as far as starting intervention for

> autism, so it is crucial to eliminate any doubt about whether a child

> has autism at least at age 3.

>

> And by the way, having autism does not make a child any less adorable

> or wonderful.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Many kids with autism have apraxia, but most apraxic kids are not

autistic.

It seems as if apraxic/speech delayed children are routinely suspected

of autism nowadays. We went through the scare of our lives almost a

year ago with an inaccurate suspicion of autism. Although I am glad

that we had the evaluation experience now, it put our family through a

several month period of unwarranted anger, sadness and worry. It is not

that I disagree with kids being evaluated; it is just that it seems like

almost the majority of kids with speech delays are now " suspected " (and

some, sadly, misdiagnosed with) autism.

Warm regards,

******************

(Rochester, NY)

Mom to , 3.0 years, Verbal Apraxia

& , 9.5 months

________________________________

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of maryebe

Sent: Monday, June 12, 2006 6:30 PM

Subject: [ ] Re: SOCIAL PROBLEMS..

It seems that some are offended at my suggestion that a child with

significant language delay, sensory problems and social issues should

be evaluated for autism by a knowledgeable professional. It's just a

fact that apraxia is common among children with autism. From my own

experience, three is not young as far as starting intervention for

autism, so it is crucial to eliminate any doubt about whether a child

has autism at least at age 3.

And by the way, having autism does not make a child any less adorable

or wonderful.

[Guest guest]

Oh, I was just relating what we did long term. Hailey sounds like a

sweetheart. I bet that she is absorbing everything that the other

children are doing. Ed was a lot like that. Now he is the one that all

of the out going boys and girls come to when they need help. Tutoring

in Math, learning how to change the oil in their cars, fixing the

computers, and dealing with salesmen who can't believe that a teenager

knows more than them. To think that I used to despair for him.

>

> Thanks for that post..it's really interesting to hear from someone

with a much older child, to see what has worked for them. I agree

that involving Hailey in some team sports and organized groups

(brownies) will be excellent exposure for her. She's a little young

for that right now..but she does attend gymnastics with a group. She

loves it there, but again, doesn't socialize too much. However, i

know it's important for her to be there and just observe the other

children and learn from them.

> Thanks again..

> Amy

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks so much, you have given me such encouraging hope for Hailey. Hearing

positive outcome stories like yours makes it that much easier to be strong now.

Good luck to both you and your son, but it already sounds like good luck has

found you!

Amy

[ ] Re: SOCIAL PROBLEMS..

Oh, I was just relating what we did long term. Hailey sounds like a

sweetheart. I bet that she is absorbing everything that the other

children are doing. Ed was a lot like that. Now he is the one that all

of the out going boys and girls come to when they need help. Tutoring

in Math, learning how to change the oil in their cars, fixing the

computers, and dealing with salesmen who can't believe that a teenager

knows more than them. To think that I used to despair for him.

>

> Thanks for that post..it's really interesting to hear from someone

with a much older child, to see what has worked for them. I agree

that involving Hailey in some team sports and organized groups

(brownies) will be excellent exposure for her. She's a little young

for that right now..but she does attend gymnastics with a group. She

loves it there, but again, doesn't socialize too much. However, i

know it's important for her to be there and just observe the other

children and learn from them.

> Thanks again..

> Amy

>

>

________________________________________________________________________

Check out AOL.com today. Breaking news, video search, pictures, email and IM.

All on demand. Always Free.

[Guest guest]

>It seems as if apraxic/speech delayed children are routinely suspected

>of autism nowadays. We went through the scare of our lives almost a

>year ago with an inaccurate suspicion of autism. Although I am glad

>that we had the evaluation experience now, it put our family through a

>several month period of unwarranted anger, sadness and worry. It is not

>that I disagree with kids being evaluated; it is just that it seems like

>almost the majority of kids with speech delays are now " suspected " (and

>some, sadly, misdiagnosed with) autism.

Like my son. They went looking for autism and found it. Some of the

therapies they did hurt him and the label definitely kept him from getting

appropriate help. I'm angered again after reading his initial eval at 23

mo. yesterday when I was doing filing. Proof on paper that he made no

progress in 2 years of EI. With the autism label no one wanted to search

for another reason that speech therapy wasn't working - it was obviously

the regression issue because of the autism and wow, we were so lucky that

we caught it at 2 because we were able to hold off further

regression. Gee, thanks! Then explain why when we dropped all autism

therapies and cut down to only 2 hours of speech a week with Prompt he's

suddenly making progress! Now we're not letting the same thing happen

with MR. The schools are going to test him with a verbal IQ test over my

dead body!!! We are not even pursuing help from the public schools next

year because (at this time) I refuse to allow him to be tested until he

gains more speech and language and they are willing to test him non-verbally.

Those that have good and professional professionals be very thankful for them!

Miche

[Guest guest]

Hi Mich , wow, you sound like me ;-) Do you have a good evaluator?

Are you close to Nashville ? Dr. Camarata has the cognitive non

verbal leiter r test and you get accurate results . I went from

Canada to Nashville to see him and I don't regret it at all. And yes

the schools tried their autism/mr thing on my son.... and over my

dead body to ! My son has normal iq with above average memory and

above avergage memory skills.. And apraxia ;-( but at least i got

an accurate diagnosis .

Anyways, if you need further info... you can contact me at

tvs@... and I will give you the information you need .

take care, Tina

>

>

> >It seems as if apraxic/speech delayed children are routinely

suspected

> >of autism nowadays. We went through the scare of our lives almost

a

> >year ago with an inaccurate suspicion of autism. Although I am

glad

> >that we had the evaluation experience now, it put our family

through a

> >several month period of unwarranted anger, sadness and worry. It

is not

> >that I disagree with kids being evaluated; it is just that it

seems like

> >almost the majority of kids with speech delays are

now " suspected " (and

> >some, sadly, misdiagnosed with) autism.

>

> Like my son. They went looking for autism and found it. Some of

the

> therapies they did hurt him and the label definitely kept him from

getting

> appropriate help. I'm angered again after reading his initial

eval at 23

> mo. yesterday when I was doing filing. Proof on paper that he

made no

> progress in 2 years of EI. With the autism label no one wanted to

search

> for another reason that speech therapy wasn't working - it was

obviously

> the regression issue because of the autism and wow, we were so

lucky that

> we caught it at 2 because we were able to hold off further

> regression. Gee, thanks! Then explain why when we dropped all

autism

> therapies and cut down to only 2 hours of speech a week with

Prompt he's

> suddenly making progress! Now we're not letting the same thing

happen

> with MR. The schools are going to test him with a verbal IQ test

over my

> dead body!!! We are not even pursuing help from the public

schools next

> year because (at this time) I refuse to allow him to be tested

until he

> gains more speech and language and they are willing to test him

non-verbally.

>

> Those that have good and professional professionals be very

thankful for them!

>

> Miche

>

[Guest guest]

That's Interesting, because my son was diagnosed with GDD and suspected PDD NOS

because when he was evaluated his speech and language skills were much lower

than now and he was practically nonverbal at the time. He was also unsure what

she wanted from him so he tested very low. Our whole family knows otherwise. He

is a bright happy child who understands everything we say to him has an

excellent memory and learns new skills very quickly. He also has a funny sense

of humour and loves to laugh.This so called professional saw him for one one to

two hour session and surmised that he has GDD. My sister was with me when she

gave us her diagnosis and we were both livid. We are both experienced in the

spec Ed field and my sister's partner is a retired clinical psychologist who

worked for a local school board here as a special ED consultant who also felt at

that time that Braydon was having motor planning and oral motor difficulties.

GDD was not even a possibility for them or me even a year ago when he was

assessed. Luckily the other therapists found the truth at the assessment they

did so he is now getting the appropriate speech and OT to address his

difficulties. As far as the lining up things? I have heard from many other

mothers with children particularly boys who don't have speech or other

difficulties who liked to line up thier toys. That is not necessarily a sign of

autism . It is so frustrating that so many of our children are so misunderstood

just because they are not following the quote " normal stages " of development.

[ ] Re: SOCIAL PROBLEMS..

Hi Mich , wow, you sound like me ;-) Do you have a good evaluator?

Are you close to Nashville ? Dr. Camarata has the cognitive non

verbal leiter r test and you get accurate results . I went from

Canada to Nashville to see him and I don't regret it at all. And yes

the schools tried their autism/mr thing on my son.... and over my

dead body to ! My son has normal iq with above average memory and

above avergage memory skills.. And apraxia ;-( but at least i got

an accurate diagnosis .

Anyways, if you need further info... you can contact me at

tvs@... and I will give you the information you need .

take care, Tina

>

>

> >It seems as if apraxic/speech delayed children are routinely

suspected

> >of autism nowadays. We went through the scare of our lives almost

a

> >year ago with an inaccurate suspicion of autism. Although I am

glad

> >that we had the evaluation experience now, it put our family

through a

> >several month period of unwarranted anger, sadness and worry. It

is not

> >that I disagree with kids being evaluated; it is just that it

seems like

> >almost the majority of kids with speech delays are

now " suspected " (and

> >some, sadly, misdiagnosed with) autism.

>

> Like my son. They went looking for autism and found it. Some of

the

> therapies they did hurt him and the label definitely kept him from

getting

> appropriate help. I'm angered again after reading his initial

eval at 23

> mo. yesterday when I was doing filing. Proof on paper that he

made no

> progress in 2 years of EI. With the autism label no one wanted to

search

> for another reason that speech therapy wasn't working - it was

obviously

> the regression issue because of the autism and wow, we were so

lucky that

> we caught it at 2 because we were able to hold off further

> regression. Gee, thanks! Then explain why when we dropped all

autism

> therapies and cut down to only 2 hours of speech a week with

Prompt he's

> suddenly making progress! Now we're not letting the same thing

happen

> with MR. The schools are going to test him with a verbal IQ test

over my

> dead body!!! We are not even pursuing help from the public

schools next

> year because (at this time) I refuse to allow him to be tested

until he

> gains more speech and language and they are willing to test him

non-verbally.

>

> Those that have good and professional professionals be very

thankful for them!

>

> Miche

>

[Guest guest]

>Hi Mich , wow, you sound like me ;-) Do you have a good evaluator?

I've been given the name of someone who Prompt recommended. I'm not

evaluating him anytime soon, and I feel that what the schools have to offer

isn't worth the fight anyway. Their SLP didn't help him at all this year

when he finally did start getting services so we're sticking to private for

next year. We'll look into cognitive testing when he's at a place where he

needs to do more academics and then not just IQ testing, but testing to

discover his strengths, weaknesses and learning styles to reach him better.

>Are you close to Nashville ?

Nowhere close! I'm in NM.

>Dr. Camarata has the cognitive non

>verbal leiter r test and you get accurate results . I went from

>Canada to Nashville to see him and I don't regret it at all.

I actually spoke to him on the phone shortly after the autism diagnosis and

we considered going there for an eval. My husband had first read Dr.

Sowell's book and then I did. Our family fits the profile perfectly and we

had one " just " late talker. I still feel some of my younger son's issues

are possibly this Einstein type thing, but obviously he has more issues

(apraxia) as well and I never just waited for it to resolve on it's

own. Now I feel that we're in good hands with Prompt.

I have heard though that the Leiter can only be used after age 5. My son

won't be 5 until this fall. I have no desire to test him yet because I

don't feel there is a need to do so! When I do it will be privately, when

we can pull together the money for it too.

>And yes

>the schools tried their autism/mr thing on my son.... and over my

>dead body to ! My son has normal iq with above average memory and

>above avergage memory skills.. And apraxia ;-( but at least i got

>an accurate diagnosis .

We know there is no way yet to confirm my son's cognitive levels, but his

preschool teacher, public school SLP and us as parents and grandparents all

feel he is at LEAST average if not gifted. He functions SO well

considering his severe speech production disorder and moderate to severe

language disorder. Even after a year of preschool some parents at his

co-op didn't realize he had a speech disorder. They thought he was just

" the quiet type! " He's clearly bright in things that unfortunately call

out autism (puzzles, and pre-math skills.) Well, almost all of us in the

family are scientists and engineers with genius level IQs so go figure!

>Anyways, if you need further info... you can contact me at

><mailto:tvs%40videotron.ca>tvs@... and I will give you the

>information you need .

Thanks!

Miche