Re: School Environment and Coping

[Guest guest]

Hi Quix,

Your message tugged at my heartstrings. You're not alone and even 'normal' kids

can have a hard time.

i have a six yr old and like yours he's a really loving, friendly and happy

child. I think partly it's because he doesn't realise that he's different. But

he is also very lucky as he has an older brother in his school (which is a

school for the deaf, he's deaf and apraxic).

Is there anyone at the school looking out for him? Does he have what we call a

LSA - learning support assistant. My son has almost zilch expressive language so

would never cope in mainstream, but if he did have some and was in mainstream

they would supply a LSA.

He has his brother (19 months age difference) but i worry about him making

friends. All his 'friends' are the older kids in his school and really his

brother's friends. He's actually the youngest in his school.

Do they have a home, school book? Where they write in what has happened at

school that day and you can tell them what has happened over the weekend?

How much expressive language has he? Is there something he's really into that

perhaps the other children like too and he could use as a means of intregration?

Dr Who is huge here in the UK and my son loves it.

Rory is also really fine when no language is needed... ie tag, chase etc.

On the " not knowing he's different. " .. perhaps my son does know but doesn't

care. All his favourite characters are always the different ones... not the

hero's - Captain Hook not Pan, Diesel not .

UK mummy to (8) and Rory (6) - both deaf and apraxic - currently on the

OIL and I am waiting to see!

[ ] School Environment and Coping

Hi.

I'm new to this group, but not new to apraxia. My son was diagnosed

four years ago. He's six years old, and for three years he was in a

Developmental Delay program with kids a lot like himself. He just

started mainstream Kindergarten a few days ago, and I'm concerned.

The diagnosis, the therapy (with all its problems), the frustration.

all of that, I managed to handle. But today when I dropped my son off

at school, I heard one of his classmates say, " Hey, it's the weird

one. He can't sit here. " I was expecting stuff like that, as I know

kids aren't the most sensitive and discreet beings, but I was still

jolted. I didn't even know what to say. Thankfully, my child doesn't

quite recognize what that means (I don't think it even registered with

him that the other kid was referring to him). But when I got back out

to the car, I just broke down crying.

I'm worried for my son. I don't know if I should leave him in an

antagonistic setting. I know socialization is important, but I don't

want him to be shunned and not have any friends. He's a very friendly,

affectionate, loving child, and an openly hostile environment would be

difficult for him. He doesn't understand that he's " different " and he

doesn't understand why other kids don't play with him. For this first

week, he has seemed reluctant to communicate with me about his day

after school. I don't know if this is just because mainstream school

in general is new and a stress, and he needs a wall between that and

home, or if it's because he's not happy. He doesn't seem reluctant to

go to school, but neither is he terribly enthusiastic.

I don't know what to do, or who to talk to. His regular teacher is out

for the first few weeks, and there's a sub in her place-not the most

informed of people, and certainly not someone it would be beneficial

to talk with about all this. And no one else is in a position to

observe and know how he's doing.

Anyway, I guess there's really no point to this post. I just felt the

need to connect with people that have been through this, or are going

through it. I don't have anyone else to talk to. I can't concentrate

on anything, and I just keep wanting to go back to the school and

bring my kiddo home. I don't know how I'll get through the rest of the

week, let alone the year. Writing this has been cathartic, so I

suppose that's something. If anyone has advice on coping, I'm all

ears. But really, I feel supported just knowing that there are others

out there who have gone through, or are facing, similar things. I'm

glad I found this group. Not that I would wish this on anyone else's

kiddo, but I'm glad to know my son and I aren't alone in all this.

Anyway, thanks for reading.

~quix

[Guest guest]

Hi--

My apraxic (verbal) son was in public school through kindergarten and the

first half of first grade. I saw him gradually shut down. He reached a point

where he was almost catatonic. I tried and tried working with the school. My

son just wasn't learning. I was desperate. I was too intimidated to

homeschool--a pyschologist told me my son would have severe learning

disabilities and I just didn't think I could handle teaching him. The last

straw was when I got my son's school picture. A big tear was on his cheek and

his eyes--well his eyes told a story of their own. Anguish. Anxiety. I started

homeschooling my son Dec 16, 1998. It has been so hard but so, so rewarding.

My son is now testing way above grade level on standardized tests, he's an

accomplished athlete and now at only 15, an Eagle Scout. I hope this is

encouraging to you. I realize all children are not the same but these sons of

ours are precious gifts who deserve to grow up in the environments our

hearts tell us is best.--Debbie

quixotic_paradise <quixotic_paradise@...> wrote:

Hi.

I'm new to this group, but not new to apraxia. My son was diagnosed

four years ago. He's six years old, and for three years he was in a

Developmental Delay program with kids a lot like himself. He just

started mainstream Kindergarten a few days ago, and I'm concerned.

The diagnosis, the therapy (with all its problems), the frustration…

all of that, I managed to handle. But today when I dropped my son off

at school, I heard one of his classmates say, " Hey, it's the weird

one. He can't sit here. " I was expecting stuff like that, as I know

kids aren't the most sensitive and discreet beings, but I was still

jolted. I didn't even know what to say. Thankfully, my child doesn't

quite recognize what that means (I don't think it even registered with

him that the other kid was referring to him). But when I got back out

to the car, I just broke down crying.

I'm worried for my son. I don't know if I should leave him in an

antagonistic setting. I know socialization is important, but I don't

want him to be shunned and not have any friends. He's a very friendly,

affectionate, loving child, and an openly hostile environment would be

difficult for him. He doesn't understand that he's " different " and he

doesn't understand why other kids don't play with him. For this first

week, he has seemed reluctant to communicate with me about his day

after school. I don't know if this is just because mainstream school

in general is new and a stress, and he needs a wall between that and

home, or if it's because he's not happy. He doesn't seem reluctant to

go to school, but neither is he terribly enthusiastic.

I don't know what to do, or who to talk to. His regular teacher is out

for the first few weeks, and there's a sub in her place—not the most

informed of people, and certainly not someone it would be beneficial

to talk with about all this. And no one else is in a position to

observe and know how he's doing.

Anyway, I guess there's really no point to this post. I just felt the

need to connect with people that have been through this, or are going

through it. I don't have anyone else to talk to. I can't concentrate

on anything, and I just keep wanting to go back to the school and

bring my kiddo home. I don't know how I'll get through the rest of the

week, let alone the year. Writing this has been cathartic, so I

suppose that's something. If anyone has advice on coping, I'm all

ears. But really, I feel supported just knowing that there are others

out there who have gone through, or are facing, similar things. I'm

glad I found this group. Not that I would wish this on anyone else's

kiddo, but I'm glad to know my son and I aren't alone in all this.

Anyway, thanks for reading.

~quix

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I hear you. Kids can be so cruel. You just want to wrap your arms

around your kids and keep them safe from everything that can hurt them!!

Our elementary school has a character education program that seems to be

helping. It is presented as one of the strategies here.

http://www.dontlaugh.org/curricula/guide.pdf

<http://www.dontlaugh.org/curricula/guide.pdf> Maybe you could show

it to the principal and suggest it be added based upon your observances

of children's behaviors?

Overall this has seemed to helped. Especially teaching kids the 'I "

statement. (page 45) It gives the kids a common language when trying to

work out differences. In our diverse world we all need to be more

understanding of everyone's uniqueness.

Hope this helps!

>

> Hi.

>

> I'm new to this group, but not new to apraxia. My son was diagnosed

> four years ago. He's six years old, and for three years he was in a

> Developmental Delay program with kids a lot like himself. He just

> started mainstream Kindergarten a few days ago, and I'm concerned.

>

> The diagnosis, the therapy (with all its problems), the

frustration…

> all of that, I managed to handle. But today when I dropped my son off

> at school, I heard one of his classmates say, " Hey, it's the weird

> one. He can't sit here. " I was expecting stuff like that, as I know

> kids aren't the most sensitive and discreet beings, but I was still

> jolted. I didn't even know what to say. Thankfully, my child doesn't

> quite recognize what that means (I don't think it even registered with

> him that the other kid was referring to him). But when I got back out

> to the car, I just broke down crying.

>

> I'm worried for my son. I don't know if I should leave him in an

> antagonistic setting. I know socialization is important, but I don't

> want him to be shunned and not have any friends. He's a very friendly,

> affectionate, loving child, and an openly hostile environment would be

> difficult for him. He doesn't understand that he's " different " and he

> doesn't understand why other kids don't play with him. For this first

> week, he has seemed reluctant to communicate with me about his day

> after school. I don't know if this is just because mainstream school

> in general is new and a stress, and he needs a wall between that and

> home, or if it's because he's not happy. He doesn't seem reluctant to

> go to school, but neither is he terribly enthusiastic.

>

> I don't know what to do, or who to talk to. His regular teacher is out

> for the first few weeks, and there's a sub in her place—not the

most

> informed of people, and certainly not someone it would be beneficial

> to talk with about all this. And no one else is in a position to

> observe and know how he's doing.

>

> Anyway, I guess there's really no point to this post. I just felt the

> need to connect with people that have been through this, or are going

> through it. I don't have anyone else to talk to. I can't concentrate

> on anything, and I just keep wanting to go back to the school and

> bring my kiddo home. I don't know how I'll get through the rest of the

> week, let alone the year. Writing this has been cathartic, so I

> suppose that's something. If anyone has advice on coping, I'm all

> ears. But really, I feel supported just knowing that there are others

> out there who have gone through, or are facing, similar things. I'm

> glad I found this group. Not that I would wish this on anyone else's

> kiddo, but I'm glad to know my son and I aren't alone in all this.

> Anyway, thanks for reading.

>

> ~quix

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Quix

With or without a speech impairment some children are teased for any

or no reason...it's up to us adults to help when we can -and we can!

For example -Quix is an interesting/different name. Did kids say

anything mean about your name while you were growing up? If

yes...how did you/your parents deal with it if you recall.

I am so sorry to hear about what happened to your child and the

inexcusable rude comment of his classmate. Do you know the

child/classmate that said " Hey, it's the weird one. He can't sit

here. " ? If you don't know who it was -find out and report it to

both that child's mother as well as the school professionals

immediately -and schedule a circle of friends for his class (more

below on this). Children should not be allowed to mock others -and

the fact it happened in front of you (!)...the parent...that tells

me that both this school and/or at least this child, is out of

control. Of course you should be afraid for your child in this

school when you are not around...be VERY afraid! Children should

feel secure in school -they have that right. In addition to the

advice on the situation that passed -going ahead be on offense

instead of defense when you can.

I always assumed Tanner would be teased at some point and prepared

him for it -thing is just by preparing him I may have helped prevent

it! I can assure you that you can have a child that is " different "

and in the mainstream and still not teased...even popular. Just

like any other child. There are ways to prevent teasing -for

example here's some info in the following:

" A Unique Simple Solution to the Bullying Problem

http://www.bullies2buddies.com/

Sam wears glasses and gets called four-eyes all day long. He

believes he is being called four-eyes because he wears glasses. But

Sam is wrong. Maybe he wears glasses, but that's not the reason he

gets teased. Bullies2Buddies.com has a complete, free online manual,

How to Stop Being Teased and Bullied without Really Trying can be

downloaded at http://bullies2buddies.com/manual/kids/index.html.

Most kids can learn how to stop being victimized by simply reading

the manual. The website also has a free manual for parents and

teachers, A Revolutionary Guide to Reducing Aggression between

Children which can be downloaded at

http://bullies2buddies.com/manual/adult/index.html. This manual

teaches adults how to dramatically reduce bullying between kids with

almost no effort, while increasing students' emotional maturity and

independence. It enables teachers to go back to being teachers

instead of policemen and judges "

I know you are upset now -but take it where it's from -a child.

Children have to be taught -and even many adults don't " get " apraxia

or speech impairments. Most assume that if you have a speech

impairment you are slow...but if you wear glasses you are a

brilliant book worm -both beliefs are rarely proven true because

the average person has average IQ -with or without a speech

impairment or glasses.

The best way to stop teasing in a child is educate them about your

child in a way that's age appropriate. We've been fortunate in that

Tanner has no trouble in making or keeping friends -and the two or

three times he was teased we dealt with it in the ways outlined

below in the archives. Today if someone teases Tanner, he'd react

the way any other child would. Either say something back to them,

ignore them, tell on them to an adult, or tackle them...and he LOVES

football so he knows how to tackle really well.

Archives on this:

From: " kiddietalk " <kiddietalk@...>

Date: Sun Aug 14, 2005 3:19 pm

Subject: Re: Dealing with teasing kiddietalk

Hi ,

It does break your heart, but...

This is a subject that affects almost all humans at some point.

Some more and/or longer then others. It's how we deal with teasing,

and how we teach our children and those that tease them to respect

themselves & others that counts. Not all children with speech

impairments have to be teased, or teased more then the norm.

It can be a once in a while thing like it was for my son. Just stop

the

staring, which means curiosity, by the 'circle of friends' I explain

below before it affects your son's self esteem. Tanner's " Mr. Cool "

today -has tons of friends, and knock on wood is not teased at all

for not saying everything the right way or fast enough all the time

by other children.

Have you read The Late Talker -we cover this in there.

Here are some archives on this from this group:

From: " kiddietalk " <kiddietalk@...>

Date: Fri Jan 14, 2005 1:02 pm

Subject: Re: school incident

Hi Corina!

A perfect opportunity for a small " circle of friends! " I have more

on that in an archive below.

I make sure when I talk to kids who are questioning I also say " He

feels bad at times that he's still learning to talk, but he's very

smart and knows everything you say to him and he can't wait to talk

more to you! " And with kids always add in " You can help him

because kids have a way of understanding each other even better than

adults if the teacher doesn't understand him. " Kids like to feel

important!

Most teasing is due to not

understanding what the issue is/ignorance -the more children you

explain

things to in a child appropriate way -the less chance of teasing and

the greater chance of better acceptance. Speaking of which also say

to the kids:

" Now that you know, if you see anyone ever teasing him it will make

him feel so much better if you stick up for him and tell them to

stop. " And say things like " Everyone learns to walk and everyone

learns to talk "

No reason to feel bad about not being able to speak as well anyway -

it didn't stop Scooby Doo or Ozzy from mega success!

~~~~~~~~~start of archives (two)

From: " kiddietalk " <kiddietalk@...>

Date: Fri Oct 15, 2004 10:43 am

Subject: Re: What do I say?

I am so proud of you!!! I smiled reading what you said to your son -

what a great mommy you are!!! This is such an important topic so I'm

so glad you brought this up -self esteem is so precious -and

important to keep high for our children.

All kids can feel bad about themselves at times -all kids can be

teased at times -so all of that is normal. It's how we help them

deal and learn to overcome. It's how we have a " conversation " with

a child who is feeling bad about their inabilities to have full

conversations.

When a child suddenly notices they are different -I like to rule out

why. What's the sudden change? I mean think about it -if children

didn't start school until 7 and there were no children his age in

the neighborhood -how would a 6 year old know he's

different...unless someone tells him, or it becomes that obvious

because he's around a bunch of others his age who easily do what he

can't -talk well.

Your son is at the age where he would be aware of differences,

especially if he is schooled with 'normal' speech wise children.

And school must have just started for your son. So that should be

number one place to look for this sudden awareness, and think about

talking to the teacher to ask her if something is going on there. A

good thing you can do just in case even to prevent problems is

the " circle of friends " Please let me know if you need to know how

to do that.

Is your son in kindergarten or first grade now? What type of

placement? I would also find out from him if anyone has teased

him. There has been just two (thankfully) situations since Tanner

was in school where there was a child that teased him about the way

he talks. Both times -Tanner came home moody -not himself. He also

typically loves going to school and was resistant to go around those

two times. What is interesting is that both times at first when I

asked him " did someone tease you at school? " Tanner said " No " The

way I got it out of him was by relating (OK so it wasn't true -but

he doesn't know that) by saying " It's OK to let Daddy and me know if

someone teased you -sometimes people say bad things to you when they

are having a bad day, or they don't feel good about themselves.

Like maybe their dog just died and they are in a bad mood. Or maybe

they are jealous because you are so smart and they don't feel that

smart. " and then I would say something like " I remember one day I

had to go to the bathroom and I tried to say " I have to go to the

bathroom " and instead said " I have potty " and the other kids thought

I pooped in my pants " I figured that had to be worse than any

speech blooper he had! And you know stuff like that works for

Tanner -makes him laugh at me -and at himself. Then he tells me

what really happened.

Perhaps it's due to those two times early on that Tanner is never

teased now. He knows how to handle it -it's hard for a bully to

tease someone who doesn't get upset. And speaking of bully -as the

list owner please let me know off list who is invading your privacy -

and I'll report them to and the FBI. This is a family

grouplist with zero tolerance for bullies.

We chose to talk to Tanner about his speech impairment in a child

appropriate way prior to him entering kindergarten just in case he

was teased, or wondered why he had to work so hard on something that

came so easily to others -talking. And the good news is that in

addition to what you already did -it's not to late to add a bit more

if you feel appropriate. I found it to be most important for school

age children with speech impairments.

I told Tanner that I was an artist in New York for years -so the

word different for me is not a bad thing at all -normal was a bad

thing to me! Being different is not unusual anyway -we are all

different. You can ask your son how many people in his school/does

he know that wear glasses. Remind him that wearing glasses means

that person needs help seeing, just like he needs some help

talking. Their vision may not be as good as yours, you can say, but

that doesn't mean that those people can't do or be whatever they

want -just like you. I told Tanner about Helen Keller -and about

the diamond " A diamond is a lump of coal that was put under intense

pressure for a long period of time " It all seems to work.

Tanner's always had a high self esteem, and as he ages -we even make

him more aware of what his apraxia is and how he has overcome it -

as you will read in the following -it's all in a good way. Just

like in The Late Talker book we explained how to relieve

frustrations in a " late talker " child -the same strategies do work

for the older ones too.

This is what I said to Tanner at six prior to him starting

kindergarten:

" Tanner when you were a little baby you had very high fevers that

caused a boo boo in here. (I touched his head) But what you did

was amazing Tanner! You see, most of us only use a tiny bit of our

brain, and most of us learn to talk the same way -but you have

somehow developed another pathway to talk using more of your

brain...which

actually makes you smarter than the rest of us!

Now this is the thing, sometimes people who don't know just how

smart you are may judge you based on how you talk and even call you

names. This is because they don't feel good about themselves, or

they don't feel as smart as you. So don't get angry with people

like that who don't use as much of their brain as you do. And

always let us know if someone ever says anything bad to you.

Then I paused and said with a mock serious face/mocking voice. " Now

Tanner, just because you are smarter then most other people -don't

go thinking you are better than anybody else. You hear me Tanner?

Tanner don't smile, you have to be nice to everybody Tanner "

(that made Tanner smile too)

Since we've moved from New Jersey -I now tell Tanner (stretch the

truth) that if he wants to ever feel normal he can move back to New

Jersey where all the kids his age just about have apraxia. I tell

him that the people where we live in FL are not used to people with

speech

problems, so some could prejudge him, but he can prove to them just

how smart he is. And he does.

Like your son:

Tanner knows that due to his " late talking " he has an " amazing

memory " and that he is " Mr. Mathhead " Tanner was the first in his

class to get the 1-12 table addition award for math last week! He

is now reading some scary stories for Halloween, just completed a

book report which was amazing, and we are just so proud of how great

he is doing!

Point being that Tanner today at 8 knows he isn't like others in

regards to speech. Then again there are ways that Tanner excels

over the norm.

Tanner can talk -and he is typically understood. His speech

impairment today is that his speech is still immature for an 8 year

old. He tends to keep his sentences short. If he has a longer

thought he pauses and breaks the thought up. In general, Tanner is

expressive, let's you know what he wants or how he feels -but he

isn't very expressive verbally. Tanner's speech ability doesn't

affect Tanner's ability to have lots of friends -he's a cool kid,

and a sweetheart too. Tanner's also received awards at school for

helping others who are in pain, or being the only one to remember to

help the teacher or other students clean up.

We just saw Shark Tail a few weeks ago with two of Dakota and

Tanner's friends. When Tanner wanted to describe to everyone what

he loved about a movie he as usual kept his comments down to one

short sentence, used some gestures and words like " So Cool! " -and

ended with a question, " right? "

Tanner's knows how to get others to talk -now that's his own

strategy! Sounds like your son is on the same track -and he's got

you on his side to keep him on the right track!

=====

[Guest guest]

Hi Quix,

Your message tugged at my heartstrings. You're not alone and even 'normal' kids

can have a hard time.

i have a six yr old and like yours he's a really loving, friendly and happy

child. I think partly it's because he doesn't realise that he's different. But

he is also very lucky as he has an older brother in his school (which is a

school for the deaf, he's deaf and apraxic).

Is there anyone at the school looking out for him? Does he have what we call a

LSA - learning support assistant. My son has almost zilch expressive language so

would never cope in mainstream, but if he did have some and was in mainstream

they would supply a LSA.

He has his brother (19 months age difference) but i worry about him making

friends. All his 'friends' are the older kids in his school and really his

brother's friends. He's actually the youngest in his school.

Do they have a home, school book? Where they write in what has happened at

school that day and you can tell them what has happened over the weekend?

How much expressive language has he? Is there something he's really into that

perhaps the other children like too and he could use as a means of intregration?

Dr Who is huge here in the UK and my son loves it.

Rory is also really fine when no language is needed... ie tag, chase etc.

On the " not knowing he's different. " .. perhaps my son does know but doesn't

care. All his favourite characters are always the different ones... not the

hero's - Captain Hook not Pan, Diesel not .

UK mummy to (8) and Rory (6) - both deaf and apraxic - currently on the

OIL and I am waiting to see!

[ ] School Environment and Coping

Hi.

I'm new to this group, but not new to apraxia. My son was diagnosed

four years ago. He's six years old, and for three years he was in a

Developmental Delay program with kids a lot like himself. He just

started mainstream Kindergarten a few days ago, and I'm concerned.

The diagnosis, the therapy (with all its problems), the frustration.

all of that, I managed to handle. But today when I dropped my son off

at school, I heard one of his classmates say, " Hey, it's the weird

one. He can't sit here. " I was expecting stuff like that, as I know

kids aren't the most sensitive and discreet beings, but I was still

jolted. I didn't even know what to say. Thankfully, my child doesn't

quite recognize what that means (I don't think it even registered with

him that the other kid was referring to him). But when I got back out

to the car, I just broke down crying.

I'm worried for my son. I don't know if I should leave him in an

antagonistic setting. I know socialization is important, but I don't

want him to be shunned and not have any friends. He's a very friendly,

affectionate, loving child, and an openly hostile environment would be

difficult for him. He doesn't understand that he's " different " and he

doesn't understand why other kids don't play with him. For this first

week, he has seemed reluctant to communicate with me about his day

after school. I don't know if this is just because mainstream school

in general is new and a stress, and he needs a wall between that and

home, or if it's because he's not happy. He doesn't seem reluctant to

go to school, but neither is he terribly enthusiastic.

I don't know what to do, or who to talk to. His regular teacher is out

for the first few weeks, and there's a sub in her place-not the most

informed of people, and certainly not someone it would be beneficial

to talk with about all this. And no one else is in a position to

observe and know how he's doing.

Anyway, I guess there's really no point to this post. I just felt the

need to connect with people that have been through this, or are going

through it. I don't have anyone else to talk to. I can't concentrate

on anything, and I just keep wanting to go back to the school and

bring my kiddo home. I don't know how I'll get through the rest of the

week, let alone the year. Writing this has been cathartic, so I

suppose that's something. If anyone has advice on coping, I'm all

ears. But really, I feel supported just knowing that there are others

out there who have gone through, or are facing, similar things. I'm

glad I found this group. Not that I would wish this on anyone else's

kiddo, but I'm glad to know my son and I aren't alone in all this.

Anyway, thanks for reading.

~quix

[Guest guest]

Hi--

My apraxic (verbal) son was in public school through kindergarten and the

first half of first grade. I saw him gradually shut down. He reached a point

where he was almost catatonic. I tried and tried working with the school. My

son just wasn't learning. I was desperate. I was too intimidated to

homeschool--a pyschologist told me my son would have severe learning

disabilities and I just didn't think I could handle teaching him. The last

straw was when I got my son's school picture. A big tear was on his cheek and

his eyes--well his eyes told a story of their own. Anguish. Anxiety. I started

homeschooling my son Dec 16, 1998. It has been so hard but so, so rewarding.

My son is now testing way above grade level on standardized tests, he's an

accomplished athlete and now at only 15, an Eagle Scout. I hope this is

encouraging to you. I realize all children are not the same but these sons of

ours are precious gifts who deserve to grow up in the environments our

hearts tell us is best.--Debbie

quixotic_paradise <quixotic_paradise@...> wrote:

Hi.

I'm new to this group, but not new to apraxia. My son was diagnosed

four years ago. He's six years old, and for three years he was in a

Developmental Delay program with kids a lot like himself. He just

started mainstream Kindergarten a few days ago, and I'm concerned.

The diagnosis, the therapy (with all its problems), the frustration…

all of that, I managed to handle. But today when I dropped my son off

at school, I heard one of his classmates say, " Hey, it's the weird

one. He can't sit here. " I was expecting stuff like that, as I know

kids aren't the most sensitive and discreet beings, but I was still

jolted. I didn't even know what to say. Thankfully, my child doesn't

quite recognize what that means (I don't think it even registered with

him that the other kid was referring to him). But when I got back out

to the car, I just broke down crying.

I'm worried for my son. I don't know if I should leave him in an

antagonistic setting. I know socialization is important, but I don't

want him to be shunned and not have any friends. He's a very friendly,

affectionate, loving child, and an openly hostile environment would be

difficult for him. He doesn't understand that he's " different " and he

doesn't understand why other kids don't play with him. For this first

week, he has seemed reluctant to communicate with me about his day

after school. I don't know if this is just because mainstream school

in general is new and a stress, and he needs a wall between that and

home, or if it's because he's not happy. He doesn't seem reluctant to

go to school, but neither is he terribly enthusiastic.

I don't know what to do, or who to talk to. His regular teacher is out

for the first few weeks, and there's a sub in her place—not the most

informed of people, and certainly not someone it would be beneficial

to talk with about all this. And no one else is in a position to

observe and know how he's doing.

Anyway, I guess there's really no point to this post. I just felt the

need to connect with people that have been through this, or are going

through it. I don't have anyone else to talk to. I can't concentrate

on anything, and I just keep wanting to go back to the school and

bring my kiddo home. I don't know how I'll get through the rest of the

week, let alone the year. Writing this has been cathartic, so I

suppose that's something. If anyone has advice on coping, I'm all

ears. But really, I feel supported just knowing that there are others

out there who have gone through, or are facing, similar things. I'm

glad I found this group. Not that I would wish this on anyone else's

kiddo, but I'm glad to know my son and I aren't alone in all this.

Anyway, thanks for reading.

~quix

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I hear you. Kids can be so cruel. You just want to wrap your arms

around your kids and keep them safe from everything that can hurt them!!

Our elementary school has a character education program that seems to be

helping. It is presented as one of the strategies here.

http://www.dontlaugh.org/curricula/guide.pdf

<http://www.dontlaugh.org/curricula/guide.pdf> Maybe you could show

it to the principal and suggest it be added based upon your observances

of children's behaviors?

Overall this has seemed to helped. Especially teaching kids the 'I "

statement. (page 45) It gives the kids a common language when trying to

work out differences. In our diverse world we all need to be more

understanding of everyone's uniqueness.

Hope this helps!

>

> Hi.

>

> I'm new to this group, but not new to apraxia. My son was diagnosed

> four years ago. He's six years old, and for three years he was in a

> Developmental Delay program with kids a lot like himself. He just

> started mainstream Kindergarten a few days ago, and I'm concerned.

>

> The diagnosis, the therapy (with all its problems), the

frustration…

> all of that, I managed to handle. But today when I dropped my son off

> at school, I heard one of his classmates say, " Hey, it's the weird

> one. He can't sit here. " I was expecting stuff like that, as I know

> kids aren't the most sensitive and discreet beings, but I was still

> jolted. I didn't even know what to say. Thankfully, my child doesn't

> quite recognize what that means (I don't think it even registered with

> him that the other kid was referring to him). But when I got back out

> to the car, I just broke down crying.

>

> I'm worried for my son. I don't know if I should leave him in an

> antagonistic setting. I know socialization is important, but I don't

> want him to be shunned and not have any friends. He's a very friendly,

> affectionate, loving child, and an openly hostile environment would be

> difficult for him. He doesn't understand that he's " different " and he

> doesn't understand why other kids don't play with him. For this first

> week, he has seemed reluctant to communicate with me about his day

> after school. I don't know if this is just because mainstream school

> in general is new and a stress, and he needs a wall between that and

> home, or if it's because he's not happy. He doesn't seem reluctant to

> go to school, but neither is he terribly enthusiastic.

>

> I don't know what to do, or who to talk to. His regular teacher is out

> for the first few weeks, and there's a sub in her place—not the

most

> informed of people, and certainly not someone it would be beneficial

> to talk with about all this. And no one else is in a position to

> observe and know how he's doing.

>

> Anyway, I guess there's really no point to this post. I just felt the

> need to connect with people that have been through this, or are going

> through it. I don't have anyone else to talk to. I can't concentrate

> on anything, and I just keep wanting to go back to the school and

> bring my kiddo home. I don't know how I'll get through the rest of the

> week, let alone the year. Writing this has been cathartic, so I

> suppose that's something. If anyone has advice on coping, I'm all

> ears. But really, I feel supported just knowing that there are others

> out there who have gone through, or are facing, similar things. I'm

> glad I found this group. Not that I would wish this on anyone else's

> kiddo, but I'm glad to know my son and I aren't alone in all this.

> Anyway, thanks for reading.

>

> ~quix

>

[Guest guest]

Hi quix,

I'm not sure if you've gotten a lot of response? Please don't feel excluded.

I think with the new discovery of Vit E we're all a little focused on that.

I don't have any good advice. That is my fear. To be in a situation like

this. That is why I chose to keep my son home another year from school.. He

will be 5 next month and would have started school tomorrow. I'm not at all

suggesting that for you. Just letting you know it's one of the reasons I feared

sending him..

I feel like I'll face this one day too. It truly breaks my heart. I don't

understand how kids can be so mean. I would tell my older daughter (typical

child) when someone was mean to her. " Isn't it sad? " They must have a rough

home life " " I bet they hear their mom and dad talk that way. " " Are you glad

your not like that? " I kind of turned it around with the attitude that the kids

must hear unkind words at home. I think it made her feel better about herself.

Although she was older than 5 and understood more.

Sorry I'm not much help but I wanted to let you know I feel for you.

Amy D.

quixotic_paradise <quixotic_paradise@...> wrote:

Hi.

I'm new to this group, but not new to apraxia. My son was diagnosed

four years ago. He's six years old, and for three years he was in a

Developmental Delay program with kids a lot like himself. He just

started mainstream Kindergarten a few days ago, and I'm concerned.

The diagnosis, the therapy (with all its problems), the frustration…

all of that, I managed to handle. But today when I dropped my son off

at school, I heard one of his classmates say, " Hey, it's the weird

one. He can't sit here. " I was expecting stuff like that, as I know

kids aren't the most sensitive and discreet beings, but I was still

jolted. I didn't even know what to say. Thankfully, my child doesn't

quite recognize what that means (I don't think it even registered with

him that the other kid was referring to him). But when I got back out

to the car, I just broke down crying.

I'm worried for my son. I don't know if I should leave him in an

antagonistic setting. I know socialization is important, but I don't

want him to be shunned and not have any friends. He's a very friendly,

affectionate, loving child, and an openly hostile environment would be

difficult for him. He doesn't understand that he's " different " and he

doesn't understand why other kids don't play with him. For this first

week, he has seemed reluctant to communicate with me about his day

after school. I don't know if this is just because mainstream school

in general is new and a stress, and he needs a wall between that and

home, or if it's because he's not happy. He doesn't seem reluctant to

go to school, but neither is he terribly enthusiastic.

I don't know what to do, or who to talk to. His regular teacher is out

for the first few weeks, and there's a sub in her place—not the most

informed of people, and certainly not someone it would be beneficial

to talk with about all this. And no one else is in a position to

observe and know how he's doing.

Anyway, I guess there's really no point to this post. I just felt the

need to connect with people that have been through this, or are going

through it. I don't have anyone else to talk to. I can't concentrate

on anything, and I just keep wanting to go back to the school and

bring my kiddo home. I don't know how I'll get through the rest of the

week, let alone the year. Writing this has been cathartic, so I

suppose that's something. If anyone has advice on coping, I'm all

ears. But really, I feel supported just knowing that there are others

out there who have gone through, or are facing, similar things. I'm

glad I found this group. Not that I would wish this on anyone else's

kiddo, but I'm glad to know my son and I aren't alone in all this.

Anyway, thanks for reading.

~quix

[Guest guest]

Hi Debbie,

I've considered home schooling as well. The only thing really holding

me back is the socialization issue. My son loves to be around other

kids (when they're accepting of and friendly toward him), and I don't

want to deny him the opportunity that mainstream schooling affords in

that regard. Also, I'm a single mom, so arranging a home schedule

would be difficult.

However, I certainly don't want my kiddo to go through the sort of

decline that your child did. I'll keep a close eye on him, and keep

your experience in mind. Better to err on the side of caution rather

than inflict unnecessary trauma on my child. He's got enough to deal

with as it is, so I'll do whatever is necessary to help get him

through all this. Thanks for the insight. I'll look for warning signs,

and will remember what you've said.

I'm glad your son is prospering now. I hope my kiddo has the same

level of success!

~quix

>

> Hi--

> My apraxic (verbal) son was in public school through kindergarten

and the first half of first grade. I saw him gradually shut down. He

reached a point where he was almost catatonic. I tried and tried

working with the school. My son just wasn't learning. I was

desperate. I was too intimidated to homeschool--a pyschologist told

me my son would have severe learning disabilities and I just didn't

think I could handle teaching him. The last straw was when I got my

son's school picture. A big tear was on his cheek and his eyes--well

his eyes told a story of their own. Anguish. Anxiety. I started

homeschooling my son Dec 16, 1998. It has been so hard but so, so

rewarding. My son is now testing way above grade level on

standardized tests, he's an accomplished athlete and now at only 15,

an Eagle Scout. I hope this is encouraging to you. I realize all

children are not the same but these sons of ours are precious gifts

who deserve to grow up in the environments our

> hearts tell us is best.--Debbie

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Thanks for the response. I did ask the school if my son would qualify

for an LSA and they informed me that he would not, that he would need

to be placed in special ed. for that. This makes no sense to me, as I

thought the whole purpose was to provide extra help to children who

don't need spec. ed. placement, but who need a little help adjusting

to and making it through mainstream education. Apparently I was wrong.

The school also does not send home daily reports. This is frustrating

as well, as my son isn't verbal enough to be able to tell me

everything about his day. Not only that, he doesn't really want to

talk about it when he gets home. He becomes frustrated when I push,

so…. I will ask his regular teacher if we can work something out in

the way of reports as soon as she returns, but I don't know how

receptive she'll be. I think kindergarten teachers pretty much have

their hands full all day, and I'm not sure she'll be willing to take

the time to write a note detailing the day's activities. But I'll try.

Thanks for the suggestion.

It's hard to measure my son's expressive language. His articulation is

well below that of a three-year-old, though he has a decent working

vocabulary (though nowhere near an age-appropriate level). There's

also a possibility that he has CAPD. He doesn't understand a lot of

what's said, so it's hard for him to learn how to express himself when

he has no solid basis for language. And he truly doesn't yet

understand that he's different from other children as far as his

linguistic development goes. He knows people don't understand him

sometimes, but he probably thinks that's normal, as he doesn't

understand other people most of the time. It's frustrating all the way

around.

Still, he manages to play just fine with other kids, as long as there

aren't many set rules for a game. My concern is that now that he's

mainstream, there will be few who will play with him because he can't

communicate too well, nor does he understand others very well.

Hopefully he'll find some friends that can look past that. But that

might be asking too much of young kids. I just don't know.

Anyway, thanks again for your response. It really helps to talk this

stuff out. I know my posts are long. I hope it's not too annoying.

Anyway, I'll remember to ask my son's teacher for daily reports. Cross

your fingers for us!

Also, when my son was in the DD program, they did a lot of sign

language. It helped tremendously because he was able to sign for words

he understood but couldn't articulate. Do you have any recommendations

for internet sites, or online programs for ASL? I know it wouldn't

help his communication with his friends, but it might help with me.

And thank you for sharing about your children. It really helps to read

other people's stories. I appreicate it, and wish you luck with your

sons. Thanks again.

~quix

>

> Hi Quix,

>

> Your message tugged at my heartstrings. You're not alone and even

'normal' kids can have a hard time. <snip>

> Is there anyone at the school looking out for him? Does he have what

we call a LSA - learning support assistant. My son has almost zilch

expressive language so would never cope in mainstream, but if he did

have some and was in mainstream they would supply a LSA. <snip>

>

> Do they have a home, school book? Where they write in what has

happened at school that day and you can tell them what has happened

over the weekend?

>

> How much expressive language has he? Is there something he's really

into that perhaps the other children like too and he could use as a

means of intregration? Dr Who is huge here in the UK and my son loves

it.<snip>

>

>

>

> UK mummy to (8) and Rory (6) - both deaf and apraxic -

currently on the OIL and I am waiting to see!

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Quix

With or without a speech impairment some children are teased for any

or no reason...it's up to us adults to help when we can -and we can!

For example -Quix is an interesting/different name. Did kids say

anything mean about your name while you were growing up? If

yes...how did you/your parents deal with it if you recall.

I am so sorry to hear about what happened to your child and the

inexcusable rude comment of his classmate. Do you know the

child/classmate that said " Hey, it's the weird one. He can't sit

here. " ? If you don't know who it was -find out and report it to

both that child's mother as well as the school professionals

immediately -and schedule a circle of friends for his class (more

below on this). Children should not be allowed to mock others -and

the fact it happened in front of you (!)...the parent...that tells

me that both this school and/or at least this child, is out of

control. Of course you should be afraid for your child in this

school when you are not around...be VERY afraid! Children should

feel secure in school -they have that right. In addition to the

advice on the situation that passed -going ahead be on offense

instead of defense when you can.

I always assumed Tanner would be teased at some point and prepared

him for it -thing is just by preparing him I may have helped prevent

it! I can assure you that you can have a child that is " different "

and in the mainstream and still not teased...even popular. Just

like any other child. There are ways to prevent teasing -for

example here's some info in the following:

" A Unique Simple Solution to the Bullying Problem

http://www.bullies2buddies.com/

Sam wears glasses and gets called four-eyes all day long. He

believes he is being called four-eyes because he wears glasses. But

Sam is wrong. Maybe he wears glasses, but that's not the reason he

gets teased. Bullies2Buddies.com has a complete, free online manual,

How to Stop Being Teased and Bullied without Really Trying can be

downloaded at http://bullies2buddies.com/manual/kids/index.html.

Most kids can learn how to stop being victimized by simply reading

the manual. The website also has a free manual for parents and

teachers, A Revolutionary Guide to Reducing Aggression between

Children which can be downloaded at

http://bullies2buddies.com/manual/adult/index.html. This manual

teaches adults how to dramatically reduce bullying between kids with

almost no effort, while increasing students' emotional maturity and

independence. It enables teachers to go back to being teachers

instead of policemen and judges "

I know you are upset now -but take it where it's from -a child.

Children have to be taught -and even many adults don't " get " apraxia

or speech impairments. Most assume that if you have a speech

impairment you are slow...but if you wear glasses you are a

brilliant book worm -both beliefs are rarely proven true because

the average person has average IQ -with or without a speech

impairment or glasses.

The best way to stop teasing in a child is educate them about your

child in a way that's age appropriate. We've been fortunate in that

Tanner has no trouble in making or keeping friends -and the two or

three times he was teased we dealt with it in the ways outlined

below in the archives. Today if someone teases Tanner, he'd react

the way any other child would. Either say something back to them,

ignore them, tell on them to an adult, or tackle them...and he LOVES

football so he knows how to tackle really well.

Archives on this:

From: " kiddietalk " <kiddietalk@...>

Date: Sun Aug 14, 2005 3:19 pm

Subject: Re: Dealing with teasing kiddietalk

Hi ,

It does break your heart, but...

This is a subject that affects almost all humans at some point.

Some more and/or longer then others. It's how we deal with teasing,

and how we teach our children and those that tease them to respect

themselves & others that counts. Not all children with speech

impairments have to be teased, or teased more then the norm.

It can be a once in a while thing like it was for my son. Just stop

the

staring, which means curiosity, by the 'circle of friends' I explain

below before it affects your son's self esteem. Tanner's " Mr. Cool "

today -has tons of friends, and knock on wood is not teased at all

for not saying everything the right way or fast enough all the time

by other children.

Have you read The Late Talker -we cover this in there.

Here are some archives on this from this group:

From: " kiddietalk " <kiddietalk@...>

Date: Fri Jan 14, 2005 1:02 pm

Subject: Re: school incident

Hi Corina!

A perfect opportunity for a small " circle of friends! " I have more

on that in an archive below.

I make sure when I talk to kids who are questioning I also say " He

feels bad at times that he's still learning to talk, but he's very

smart and knows everything you say to him and he can't wait to talk

more to you! " And with kids always add in " You can help him

because kids have a way of understanding each other even better than

adults if the teacher doesn't understand him. " Kids like to feel

important!

Most teasing is due to not

understanding what the issue is/ignorance -the more children you

explain

things to in a child appropriate way -the less chance of teasing and

the greater chance of better acceptance. Speaking of which also say

to the kids:

" Now that you know, if you see anyone ever teasing him it will make

him feel so much better if you stick up for him and tell them to

stop. " And say things like " Everyone learns to walk and everyone

learns to talk "

No reason to feel bad about not being able to speak as well anyway -

it didn't stop Scooby Doo or Ozzy from mega success!

~~~~~~~~~start of archives (two)

From: " kiddietalk " <kiddietalk@...>

Date: Fri Oct 15, 2004 10:43 am

Subject: Re: What do I say?

I am so proud of you!!! I smiled reading what you said to your son -

what a great mommy you are!!! This is such an important topic so I'm

so glad you brought this up -self esteem is so precious -and

important to keep high for our children.

All kids can feel bad about themselves at times -all kids can be

teased at times -so all of that is normal. It's how we help them

deal and learn to overcome. It's how we have a " conversation " with

a child who is feeling bad about their inabilities to have full

conversations.

When a child suddenly notices they are different -I like to rule out

why. What's the sudden change? I mean think about it -if children

didn't start school until 7 and there were no children his age in

the neighborhood -how would a 6 year old know he's

different...unless someone tells him, or it becomes that obvious

because he's around a bunch of others his age who easily do what he

can't -talk well.

Your son is at the age where he would be aware of differences,

especially if he is schooled with 'normal' speech wise children.

And school must have just started for your son. So that should be

number one place to look for this sudden awareness, and think about

talking to the teacher to ask her if something is going on there. A

good thing you can do just in case even to prevent problems is

the " circle of friends " Please let me know if you need to know how

to do that.

Is your son in kindergarten or first grade now? What type of

placement? I would also find out from him if anyone has teased

him. There has been just two (thankfully) situations since Tanner

was in school where there was a child that teased him about the way

he talks. Both times -Tanner came home moody -not himself. He also

typically loves going to school and was resistant to go around those

two times. What is interesting is that both times at first when I

asked him " did someone tease you at school? " Tanner said " No " The

way I got it out of him was by relating (OK so it wasn't true -but

he doesn't know that) by saying " It's OK to let Daddy and me know if

someone teased you -sometimes people say bad things to you when they

are having a bad day, or they don't feel good about themselves.

Like maybe their dog just died and they are in a bad mood. Or maybe

they are jealous because you are so smart and they don't feel that

smart. " and then I would say something like " I remember one day I

had to go to the bathroom and I tried to say " I have to go to the

bathroom " and instead said " I have potty " and the other kids thought

I pooped in my pants " I figured that had to be worse than any

speech blooper he had! And you know stuff like that works for

Tanner -makes him laugh at me -and at himself. Then he tells me

what really happened.

Perhaps it's due to those two times early on that Tanner is never

teased now. He knows how to handle it -it's hard for a bully to

tease someone who doesn't get upset. And speaking of bully -as the

list owner please let me know off list who is invading your privacy -

and I'll report them to and the FBI. This is a family

grouplist with zero tolerance for bullies.

We chose to talk to Tanner about his speech impairment in a child

appropriate way prior to him entering kindergarten just in case he

was teased, or wondered why he had to work so hard on something that

came so easily to others -talking. And the good news is that in

addition to what you already did -it's not to late to add a bit more

if you feel appropriate. I found it to be most important for school

age children with speech impairments.

I told Tanner that I was an artist in New York for years -so the

word different for me is not a bad thing at all -normal was a bad

thing to me! Being different is not unusual anyway -we are all

different. You can ask your son how many people in his school/does

he know that wear glasses. Remind him that wearing glasses means

that person needs help seeing, just like he needs some help

talking. Their vision may not be as good as yours, you can say, but

that doesn't mean that those people can't do or be whatever they

want -just like you. I told Tanner about Helen Keller -and about

the diamond " A diamond is a lump of coal that was put under intense

pressure for a long period of time " It all seems to work.

Tanner's always had a high self esteem, and as he ages -we even make

him more aware of what his apraxia is and how he has overcome it -

as you will read in the following -it's all in a good way. Just

like in The Late Talker book we explained how to relieve

frustrations in a " late talker " child -the same strategies do work

for the older ones too.

This is what I said to Tanner at six prior to him starting

kindergarten:

" Tanner when you were a little baby you had very high fevers that

caused a boo boo in here. (I touched his head) But what you did

was amazing Tanner! You see, most of us only use a tiny bit of our

brain, and most of us learn to talk the same way -but you have

somehow developed another pathway to talk using more of your

brain...which

actually makes you smarter than the rest of us!

Now this is the thing, sometimes people who don't know just how

smart you are may judge you based on how you talk and even call you

names. This is because they don't feel good about themselves, or

they don't feel as smart as you. So don't get angry with people

like that who don't use as much of their brain as you do. And

always let us know if someone ever says anything bad to you.

Then I paused and said with a mock serious face/mocking voice. " Now

Tanner, just because you are smarter then most other people -don't

go thinking you are better than anybody else. You hear me Tanner?

Tanner don't smile, you have to be nice to everybody Tanner "

(that made Tanner smile too)

Since we've moved from New Jersey -I now tell Tanner (stretch the

truth) that if he wants to ever feel normal he can move back to New

Jersey where all the kids his age just about have apraxia. I tell

him that the people where we live in FL are not used to people with

speech

problems, so some could prejudge him, but he can prove to them just

how smart he is. And he does.

Like your son:

Tanner knows that due to his " late talking " he has an " amazing

memory " and that he is " Mr. Mathhead " Tanner was the first in his

class to get the 1-12 table addition award for math last week! He

is now reading some scary stories for Halloween, just completed a

book report which was amazing, and we are just so proud of how great

he is doing!

Point being that Tanner today at 8 knows he isn't like others in

regards to speech. Then again there are ways that Tanner excels

over the norm.

Tanner can talk -and he is typically understood. His speech

impairment today is that his speech is still immature for an 8 year

old. He tends to keep his sentences short. If he has a longer

thought he pauses and breaks the thought up. In general, Tanner is

expressive, let's you know what he wants or how he feels -but he

isn't very expressive verbally. Tanner's speech ability doesn't

affect Tanner's ability to have lots of friends -he's a cool kid,

and a sweetheart too. Tanner's also received awards at school for

helping others who are in pain, or being the only one to remember to

help the teacher or other students clean up.

We just saw Shark Tail a few weeks ago with two of Dakota and

Tanner's friends. When Tanner wanted to describe to everyone what

he loved about a movie he as usual kept his comments down to one

short sentence, used some gestures and words like " So Cool! " -and

ended with a question, " right? "

Tanner's knows how to get others to talk -now that's his own

strategy! Sounds like your son is on the same track -and he's got

you on his side to keep him on the right track!

=====

[Guest guest]

Hi mommtlc,

Thank you for the link. I'll check it out and see if it might be

helpful to the school. I really don't expect young kids (4-5) to be

terribly accepting of differences, but they can be honest about how

they feel without being cruel. I think a lot of children just aren't

sure how to deal with someone who falls outside the realm of their

experiences to date. So, I don't expect any radical shifts in the

other children's behavior toward my son, but neither do I want to keep

him in an environment where he's not only subjected to teasing, but

also ostracized and without friends. That would be the worst thing for

him, I think.

Still, you're right, kids need to learn to be accepting of others.

Youth doesn't excuse cruelty. So I will definitely read over the

program, and will check to see if his school has anything like it in

place. Thank you.

>

>

> I hear you. Kids can be so cruel. You just want to wrap your arms

> around your kids and keep them safe from everything that can hurt them!!

> Our elementary school has a character education program that seems to be

> helping. It is presented as one of the strategies here.

> http://www.dontlaugh.org/curricula/guide.pdf

> <http://www.dontlaugh.org/curricula/guide.pdf> Maybe you could show

> it to the principal and suggest it be added based upon your observances

> of children's behaviors?

>

> Overall this has seemed to helped. Especially teaching kids the 'I "

> statement. (page 45) It gives the kids a common language when trying to

> work out differences. In our diverse world we all need to be more

> understanding of everyone's uniqueness.

>

> Hope this helps!

>

[Guest guest]

Hi.

I snipped the majority of your post to save bandwidth, but I want you

to know that all of it was helpful. You're right. Anyone can be

teased. It just seems so much more difficult when your child presents

an easy target. When I went to pick my son up from school today, I

watched two different kids push him to the ground while I walked

toward them. My kiddo just laughed, and apparently it was a game to

him, but it seemed to me the other kids were being unneccesarily

rough. I pointed it out to the sub (she somehow missed it, though she

was standing just three feet from them), and she said she'd keep an

eye on him. But now, not only am I worried about teasing and my son

not having friends, I'm worried about him being pushed around and

possibly hurt. If the kids think they can get away with being rough on

him, then who knows?

The problem with educating my son on how to deal with teasing is that

he doesn't know he's being teased. He just doesn't understand

(linguistically) what's going on. He does understand (and it makes him

sad) when people don't like him, but he doesn't understand why they

don't. I try to explain that it's not that they don't like him, it's

just that sometimes people have a hard time understanding him, but the

" why " doesn't seem to matter to him much. He just knows that people

don't respond to him sometimes, and that's upsetting. He simply

doesn't realize he's a target. I did talk to him today about going to

the teacher if anyone hurt him, and to tell me as well, but I don't

know how much that sank in. <sigh>

Anyway, I liked the idea about a Circle of Friends. I may give that a

try. Thanks for all the links. I'll check them all out. I appreciate

the help. Again, thank you for all the insight and information.

~quix

>

> Hi Quix

>

> With or without a speech impairment some children are teased for any

> or no reason... <snip>

>

> I am so sorry to hear about what happened to your child and the

> inexcusable rude comment of his classmate. Do you know the

> child/classmate that said " Hey, it's the weird one. He can't sit

> here. " ? If you don't know who it was -find out and report it to

> both that child's mother as well as the school professionals

> immediately -and schedule a circle of friends for his class (more

> below on this). Children should not be allowed to mock others -and

> the fact it happened in front of you (!)...the parent...that tells

> me that both this school and/or at least this child, is out of

> control. Of course you should be afraid for your child in this

> school when you are not around...be VERY afraid! Children should

> feel secure in school -they have that right. In addition to the

> advice on the situation that passed -going ahead be on offense

> instead of defense when you can.

>

> <snip>

>

> " A Unique Simple Solution to the Bullying Problem

> http://www.bullies2buddies.com/

>

> <snip>

[Guest guest]

Hi quix,

I'm not sure if you've gotten a lot of response? Please don't feel excluded.

I think with the new discovery of Vit E we're all a little focused on that.

I don't have any good advice. That is my fear. To be in a situation like

this. That is why I chose to keep my son home another year from school.. He

will be 5 next month and would have started school tomorrow. I'm not at all

suggesting that for you. Just letting you know it's one of the reasons I feared

sending him..

I feel like I'll face this one day too. It truly breaks my heart. I don't

understand how kids can be so mean. I would tell my older daughter (typical

child) when someone was mean to her. " Isn't it sad? " They must have a rough

home life " " I bet they hear their mom and dad talk that way. " " Are you glad

your not like that? " I kind of turned it around with the attitude that the kids

must hear unkind words at home. I think it made her feel better about herself.

Although she was older than 5 and understood more.

Sorry I'm not much help but I wanted to let you know I feel for you.

Amy D.

quixotic_paradise <quixotic_paradise@...> wrote:

Hi.

I'm new to this group, but not new to apraxia. My son was diagnosed

four years ago. He's six years old, and for three years he was in a

Developmental Delay program with kids a lot like himself. He just

started mainstream Kindergarten a few days ago, and I'm concerned.

The diagnosis, the therapy (with all its problems), the frustration…

all of that, I managed to handle. But today when I dropped my son off

at school, I heard one of his classmates say, " Hey, it's the weird

one. He can't sit here. " I was expecting stuff like that, as I know

kids aren't the most sensitive and discreet beings, but I was still

jolted. I didn't even know what to say. Thankfully, my child doesn't

quite recognize what that means (I don't think it even registered with

him that the other kid was referring to him). But when I got back out

to the car, I just broke down crying.

I'm worried for my son. I don't know if I should leave him in an

antagonistic setting. I know socialization is important, but I don't

want him to be shunned and not have any friends. He's a very friendly,

affectionate, loving child, and an openly hostile environment would be

difficult for him. He doesn't understand that he's " different " and he

doesn't understand why other kids don't play with him. For this first

week, he has seemed reluctant to communicate with me about his day

after school. I don't know if this is just because mainstream school

in general is new and a stress, and he needs a wall between that and

home, or if it's because he's not happy. He doesn't seem reluctant to

go to school, but neither is he terribly enthusiastic.

I don't know what to do, or who to talk to. His regular teacher is out

for the first few weeks, and there's a sub in her place—not the most

informed of people, and certainly not someone it would be beneficial

to talk with about all this. And no one else is in a position to

observe and know how he's doing.

Anyway, I guess there's really no point to this post. I just felt the

need to connect with people that have been through this, or are going

through it. I don't have anyone else to talk to. I can't concentrate

on anything, and I just keep wanting to go back to the school and

bring my kiddo home. I don't know how I'll get through the rest of the

week, let alone the year. Writing this has been cathartic, so I

suppose that's something. If anyone has advice on coping, I'm all

ears. But really, I feel supported just knowing that there are others

out there who have gone through, or are facing, similar things. I'm

glad I found this group. Not that I would wish this on anyone else's

kiddo, but I'm glad to know my son and I aren't alone in all this.

Anyway, thanks for reading.

~quix

[Guest guest]

Hi Debbie,

I've considered home schooling as well. The only thing really holding

me back is the socialization issue. My son loves to be around other

kids (when they're accepting of and friendly toward him), and I don't

want to deny him the opportunity that mainstream schooling affords in

that regard. Also, I'm a single mom, so arranging a home schedule

would be difficult.

However, I certainly don't want my kiddo to go through the sort of

decline that your child did. I'll keep a close eye on him, and keep

your experience in mind. Better to err on the side of caution rather

than inflict unnecessary trauma on my child. He's got enough to deal

with as it is, so I'll do whatever is necessary to help get him

through all this. Thanks for the insight. I'll look for warning signs,

and will remember what you've said.

I'm glad your son is prospering now. I hope my kiddo has the same

level of success!

~quix

>

> Hi--

> My apraxic (verbal) son was in public school through kindergarten

and the first half of first grade. I saw him gradually shut down. He

reached a point where he was almost catatonic. I tried and tried

working with the school. My son just wasn't learning. I was

desperate. I was too intimidated to homeschool--a pyschologist told

me my son would have severe learning disabilities and I just didn't

think I could handle teaching him. The last straw was when I got my

son's school picture. A big tear was on his cheek and his eyes--well

his eyes told a story of their own. Anguish. Anxiety. I started

homeschooling my son Dec 16, 1998. It has been so hard but so, so

rewarding. My son is now testing way above grade level on

standardized tests, he's an accomplished athlete and now at only 15,

an Eagle Scout. I hope this is encouraging to you. I realize all

children are not the same but these sons of ours are precious gifts

who deserve to grow up in the environments our

> hearts tell us is best.--Debbie

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Thanks for the response. I did ask the school if my son would qualify

for an LSA and they informed me that he would not, that he would need

to be placed in special ed. for that. This makes no sense to me, as I

thought the whole purpose was to provide extra help to children who

don't need spec. ed. placement, but who need a little help adjusting

to and making it through mainstream education. Apparently I was wrong.

The school also does not send home daily reports. This is frustrating

as well, as my son isn't verbal enough to be able to tell me

everything about his day. Not only that, he doesn't really want to

talk about it when he gets home. He becomes frustrated when I push,

so…. I will ask his regular teacher if we can work something out in

the way of reports as soon as she returns, but I don't know how

receptive she'll be. I think kindergarten teachers pretty much have

their hands full all day, and I'm not sure she'll be willing to take

the time to write a note detailing the day's activities. But I'll try.

Thanks for the suggestion.

It's hard to measure my son's expressive language. His articulation is

well below that of a three-year-old, though he has a decent working

vocabulary (though nowhere near an age-appropriate level). There's

also a possibility that he has CAPD. He doesn't understand a lot of

what's said, so it's hard for him to learn how to express himself when

he has no solid basis for language. And he truly doesn't yet

understand that he's different from other children as far as his

linguistic development goes. He knows people don't understand him

sometimes, but he probably thinks that's normal, as he doesn't

understand other people most of the time. It's frustrating all the way

around.

Still, he manages to play just fine with other kids, as long as there

aren't many set rules for a game. My concern is that now that he's

mainstream, there will be few who will play with him because he can't

communicate too well, nor does he understand others very well.

Hopefully he'll find some friends that can look past that. But that

might be asking too much of young kids. I just don't know.

Anyway, thanks again for your response. It really helps to talk this

stuff out. I know my posts are long. I hope it's not too annoying.

Anyway, I'll remember to ask my son's teacher for daily reports. Cross

your fingers for us!

Also, when my son was in the DD program, they did a lot of sign

language. It helped tremendously because he was able to sign for words

he understood but couldn't articulate. Do you have any recommendations

for internet sites, or online programs for ASL? I know it wouldn't

help his communication with his friends, but it might help with me.

And thank you for sharing about your children. It really helps to read

other people's stories. I appreicate it, and wish you luck with your

sons. Thanks again.

~quix

>

> Hi Quix,

>

> Your message tugged at my heartstrings. You're not alone and even

'normal' kids can have a hard time. <snip>

> Is there anyone at the school looking out for him? Does he have what

we call a LSA - learning support assistant. My son has almost zilch

expressive language so would never cope in mainstream, but if he did

have some and was in mainstream they would supply a LSA. <snip>

>

> Do they have a home, school book? Where they write in what has

happened at school that day and you can tell them what has happened

over the weekend?

>

> How much expressive language has he? Is there something he's really

into that perhaps the other children like too and he could use as a

means of intregration? Dr Who is huge here in the UK and my son loves

it.<snip>

>

>

>

> UK mummy to (8) and Rory (6) - both deaf and apraxic -

currently on the OIL and I am waiting to see!

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi mommtlc,

Thank you for the link. I'll check it out and see if it might be

helpful to the school. I really don't expect young kids (4-5) to be

terribly accepting of differences, but they can be honest about how

they feel without being cruel. I think a lot of children just aren't

sure how to deal with someone who falls outside the realm of their

experiences to date. So, I don't expect any radical shifts in the

other children's behavior toward my son, but neither do I want to keep

him in an environment where he's not only subjected to teasing, but

also ostracized and without friends. That would be the worst thing for

him, I think.

Still, you're right, kids need to learn to be accepting of others.

Youth doesn't excuse cruelty. So I will definitely read over the

program, and will check to see if his school has anything like it in

place. Thank you.

>

>

> I hear you. Kids can be so cruel. You just want to wrap your arms

> around your kids and keep them safe from everything that can hurt them!!

> Our elementary school has a character education program that seems to be

> helping. It is presented as one of the strategies here.

> http://www.dontlaugh.org/curricula/guide.pdf

> <http://www.dontlaugh.org/curricula/guide.pdf> Maybe you could show

> it to the principal and suggest it be added based upon your observances

> of children's behaviors?

>

> Overall this has seemed to helped. Especially teaching kids the 'I "

> statement. (page 45) It gives the kids a common language when trying to

> work out differences. In our diverse world we all need to be more

> understanding of everyone's uniqueness.

>

> Hope this helps!

>

[Guest guest]

Hi.

I snipped the majority of your post to save bandwidth, but I want you

to know that all of it was helpful. You're right. Anyone can be

teased. It just seems so much more difficult when your child presents

an easy target. When I went to pick my son up from school today, I

watched two different kids push him to the ground while I walked

toward them. My kiddo just laughed, and apparently it was a game to

him, but it seemed to me the other kids were being unneccesarily

rough. I pointed it out to the sub (she somehow missed it, though she

was standing just three feet from them), and she said she'd keep an

eye on him. But now, not only am I worried about teasing and my son

not having friends, I'm worried about him being pushed around and

possibly hurt. If the kids think they can get away with being rough on

him, then who knows?

The problem with educating my son on how to deal with teasing is that

he doesn't know he's being teased. He just doesn't understand

(linguistically) what's going on. He does understand (and it makes him

sad) when people don't like him, but he doesn't understand why they

don't. I try to explain that it's not that they don't like him, it's

just that sometimes people have a hard time understanding him, but the

" why " doesn't seem to matter to him much. He just knows that people

don't respond to him sometimes, and that's upsetting. He simply

doesn't realize he's a target. I did talk to him today about going to

the teacher if anyone hurt him, and to tell me as well, but I don't

know how much that sank in. <sigh>

Anyway, I liked the idea about a Circle of Friends. I may give that a

try. Thanks for all the links. I'll check them all out. I appreciate

the help. Again, thank you for all the insight and information.

~quix

>

> Hi Quix

>

> With or without a speech impairment some children are teased for any

> or no reason... <snip>

>

> I am so sorry to hear about what happened to your child and the

> inexcusable rude comment of his classmate. Do you know the

> child/classmate that said " Hey, it's the weird one. He can't sit

> here. " ? If you don't know who it was -find out and report it to

> both that child's mother as well as the school professionals

> immediately -and schedule a circle of friends for his class (more

> below on this). Children should not be allowed to mock others -and

> the fact it happened in front of you (!)...the parent...that tells

> me that both this school and/or at least this child, is out of

> control. Of course you should be afraid for your child in this

> school when you are not around...be VERY afraid! Children should

> feel secure in school -they have that right. In addition to the

> advice on the situation that passed -going ahead be on offense

> instead of defense when you can.

>

> <snip>

>

> " A Unique Simple Solution to the Bullying Problem

> http://www.bullies2buddies.com/

>

> <snip>

[Guest guest]

Hello Quix,

This is 's Mom Leah. I am sorry to hear that this has happened to you and

no matter what you do, where you go, or how well you try to protect your kiddo,

this is a reality that HURTS!!! my just started 3-year old pre-k at our

local elementary school. the good thing is that this school only holds pre-k &

kindergarten. all of our elementary schools here are broke down to 2 years,

pre-k & k, 1 & 2, 3 & 4, 5 & 6, 7 & 8, then high school. i really like it b/c

they only go to school with ones that are at the same age. but as i walked jacob

to his class yesterday, a little girl said hey to him and when jacob only waved

at her she stopped and asked why he wouldn't speak to her. i don't think she was

trying to be ugly but i do think it kindof hurt her feelings so i told her that

he did speak to her in the best way that he knows how. she asked what was wrong

with him and i told her that he does not speak as well she & i do. she was ok

with that. she went on her way and

i noticed jacob kindof seemed to be sad. it broke my heart. but to answer your

question on what to do or who to talk to, i want to send you something that i

got off the apraxia kids website. i have given it to his therapist, his

teachers, the principal, the guidance counselor, and some of the teacher aides,

for all of them to be more familiar with my little jacob. it gives them a small

insight on his problem and helps them to know how to handle him a little better

because he does have so much frustration with this apraxia....by the way my

jacob only has a vocab of about 5-10 real words and about 15 word approximations

or sounds. he mostly uses gestures. well i will try to email this letter to you

so that maybe it can help you. also, in the mornings when you drop off your

little one, if you notice that there is one paticular teacher on duty all the

time you may want to consider stopping and talking to her/him one morning, even

if it is not his teacher, and just share some

of what you have gone through, and are going through with them, of course i

would not do it in front of the little one but just share with them that way

they can help watch out for " bullies " that may be being ugly to him and maybe

they can intervine to stop the verbal abuse. yes kids will be kids and no they

mostly at this age do not realize that they are being ugly or mean to someone,

but there is ALWAYS something you can do about it. i make my presence known at

jacob's school and i know most of the teachers there, not personally but i have

talked with them, and they have been wonderful with jacob in protecting him from

those harsh moments. i hope i have been of some help even if it was only to

reassure you that you are not alone in this terrible fright. good luck to you

both and i will send you the page i told you about.

quixotic_paradise <quixotic_paradise@...> wrote:

Hi.

I'm new to this group, but not new to apraxia. My son was diagnosed

four years ago. He's six years old, and for three years he was in a

Developmental Delay program with kids a lot like himself. He just

started mainstream Kindergarten a few days ago, and I'm concerned.

The diagnosis, the therapy (with all its problems), the frustration…

all of that, I managed to handle. But today when I dropped my son off

at school, I heard one of his classmates say, " Hey, it's the weird

one. He can't sit here. " I was expecting stuff like that, as I know

kids aren't the most sensitive and discreet beings, but I was still

jolted. I didn't even know what to say. Thankfully, my child doesn't

quite recognize what that means (I don't think it even registered with

him that the other kid was referring to him). But when I got back out

to the car, I just broke down crying.

I'm worried for my son. I don't know if I should leave him in an

antagonistic setting. I know socialization is important, but I don't

want him to be shunned and not have any friends. He's a very friendly,

affectionate, loving child, and an openly hostile environment would be

difficult for him. He doesn't understand that he's " different " and he

doesn't understand why other kids don't play with him. For this first

week, he has seemed reluctant to communicate with me about his day

after school. I don't know if this is just because mainstream school

in general is new and a stress, and he needs a wall between that and

home, or if it's because he's not happy. He doesn't seem reluctant to

go to school, but neither is he terribly enthusiastic.

I don't know what to do, or who to talk to. His regular teacher is out

for the first few weeks, and there's a sub in her place—not the most

informed of people, and certainly not someone it would be beneficial

to talk with about all this. And no one else is in a position to

observe and know how he's doing.

Anyway, I guess there's really no point to this post. I just felt the

need to connect with people that have been through this, or are going

through it. I don't have anyone else to talk to. I can't concentrate

on anything, and I just keep wanting to go back to the school and

bring my kiddo home. I don't know how I'll get through the rest of the

week, let alone the year. Writing this has been cathartic, so I

suppose that's something. If anyone has advice on coping, I'm all

ears. But really, I feel supported just knowing that there are others

out there who have gone through, or are facing, similar things. I'm

glad I found this group. Not that I would wish this on anyone else's

kiddo, but I'm glad to know my son and I aren't alone in all this.

Anyway, thanks for reading.

~quix

[Guest guest]

I'm in the same boat with you! My little guy will be 5 in a couple of weeks.

THankfully! He missed the kindergarten cut off date. He is in a developmental

semi-private preschool. I have NO idea what to do next year. There just aren't

a lot of options. There is a speech school that has evaluated him, but he isn't

doing a good job mimicking sounds even. I suspect apraxia, but since he has no

actual words......

HE has a place at the school IF he starts to mimick sounds. Until then, well,

I just don't know what to do. Our local public schools does NOT have a good

track record with special needs kiddos. I am a qualified teacher so I am

considering homeschooling. Just not quite sure how to afford it, but I may have

to figure that out as well.

Good luck on your decision.

Sherry

quixotic_paradise <quixotic_paradise@...> wrote:

Hi Debbie,

I've considered home schooling as well. The only thing really holding

me back is the socialization issue. My son loves to be around other

kids (when they're accepting of and friendly toward him), and I don't

want to deny him the opportunity that mainstream schooling affords in

that regard. Also, I'm a single mom, so arranging a home schedule

would be difficult.

However, I certainly don't want my kiddo to go through the sort of

decline that your child did. I'll keep a close eye on him, and keep

your experience in mind. Better to err on the side of caution rather

than inflict unnecessary trauma on my child. He's got enough to deal

with as it is, so I'll do whatever is necessary to help get him

through all this. Thanks for the insight. I'll look for warning signs,

and will remember what you've said.

I'm glad your son is prospering now. I hope my kiddo has the same

level of success!

~quix

>

> Hi--

> My apraxic (verbal) son was in public school through kindergarten

and the first half of first grade. I saw him gradually shut down. He

reached a point where he was almost catatonic. I tried and tried

working with the school. My son just wasn't learning. I was

desperate. I was too intimidated to homeschool--a pyschologist told

me my son would have severe learning disabilities and I just didn't

think I could handle teaching him. The last straw was when I got my

son's school picture. A big tear was on his cheek and his eyes--well

his eyes told a story of their own. Anguish. Anxiety. I started

homeschooling my son Dec 16, 1998. It has been so hard but so, so

rewarding. My son is now testing way above grade level on

standardized tests, he's an accomplished athlete and now at only 15,

an Eagle Scout. I hope this is encouraging to you. I realize all

children are not the same but these sons of ours are precious gifts

who deserve to grow up in the environments our

> hearts tell us is best.--Debbie

>

Sherry Milner

Don't forget to checkout Will's progress!!!

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/willmilner

29:11:

For I know the plans I have for you, " declares the LORD, " plans to prosper you

and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

---------------------------------

All-new - Fire up a more powerful email and get things done faster.

[Guest guest]

Sherry and Quix,

Homeschooling does not need to be expensive (I spend less than $300 per year

for curriculum). Single parents do homeschool and as for the socialization

issue, study after study shows homeschooled children are more sociable than

their non-homeschooled peers. The internet has tons of info--I encourage you to

check it out.--Debbie

Sherry <sherrymilner@...> wrote:

I'm in the same boat with you! My little guy will be 5 in a couple of

weeks. THankfully! He missed the kindergarten cut off date. He is in a

developmental semi-private preschool. I have NO idea what to do next year. There

just aren't a lot of options. There is a speech school that has evaluated him,

but he isn't doing a good job mimicking sounds even. I suspect apraxia, but

since he has no actual words......

HE has a place at the school IF he starts to mimick sounds. Until then, well, I

just don't know what to do. Our local public schools does NOT have a good track

record with special needs kiddos. I am a qualified teacher so I am considering

homeschooling. Just not quite sure how to afford it, but I may have to figure

that out as well.

Good luck on your decision.

Sherry

quixotic_paradise <quixotic_paradise@...> wrote:

Hi Debbie,

I've considered home schooling as well. The only thing really holding

me back is the socialization issue. My son loves to be around other

kids (when they're accepting of and friendly toward him), and I don't

want to deny him the opportunity that mainstream schooling affords in

that regard. Also, I'm a single mom, so arranging a home schedule

would be difficult.

However, I certainly don't want my kiddo to go through the sort of

decline that your child did. I'll keep a close eye on him, and keep

your experience in mind. Better to err on the side of caution rather

than inflict unnecessary trauma on my child. He's got enough to deal

with as it is, so I'll do whatever is necessary to help get him

through all this. Thanks for the insight. I'll look for warning signs,

and will remember what you've said.

I'm glad your son is prospering now. I hope my kiddo has the same

level of success!

~quix

>

> Hi--

> My apraxic (verbal) son was in public school through kindergarten

and the first half of first grade. I saw him gradually shut down. He

reached a point where he was almost catatonic. I tried and tried

working with the school. My son just wasn't learning. I was

desperate. I was too intimidated to homeschool--a pyschologist told

me my son would have severe learning disabilities and I just didn't

think I could handle teaching him. The last straw was when I got my

son's school picture. A big tear was on his cheek and his eyes--well

his eyes told a story of their own. Anguish. Anxiety. I started

homeschooling my son Dec 16, 1998. It has been so hard but so, so

rewarding. My son is now testing way above grade level on

standardized tests, he's an accomplished athlete and now at only 15,

an Eagle Scout. I hope this is encouraging to you. I realize all

children are not the same but these sons of ours are precious gifts

who deserve to grow up in the environments our

> hearts tell us is best.--Debbie

>

Sherry Milner

Don't forget to checkout Will's progress!!!

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/willmilner

29:11:

For I know the plans I have for you, " declares the LORD, " plans to prosper you

and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

---------------------------------

All-new - Fire up a more powerful email and get things done faster.

[Guest guest]

Hello Quix,

This is 's Mom Leah. I am sorry to hear that this has happened to you and

no matter what you do, where you go, or how well you try to protect your kiddo,

this is a reality that HURTS!!! my just started 3-year old pre-k at our

local elementary school. the good thing is that this school only holds pre-k &

kindergarten. all of our elementary schools here are broke down to 2 years,

pre-k & k, 1 & 2, 3 & 4, 5 & 6, 7 & 8, then high school. i really like it b/c

they only go to school with ones that are at the same age. but as i walked jacob

to his class yesterday, a little girl said hey to him and when jacob only waved

at her she stopped and asked why he wouldn't speak to her. i don't think she was

trying to be ugly but i do think it kindof hurt her feelings so i told her that

he did speak to her in the best way that he knows how. she asked what was wrong

with him and i told her that he does not speak as well she & i do. she was ok

with that. she went on her way and

i noticed jacob kindof seemed to be sad. it broke my heart. but to answer your

question on what to do or who to talk to, i want to send you something that i

got off the apraxia kids website. i have given it to his therapist, his

teachers, the principal, the guidance counselor, and some of the teacher aides,

for all of them to be more familiar with my little jacob. it gives them a small

insight on his problem and helps them to know how to handle him a little better

because he does have so much frustration with this apraxia....by the way my

jacob only has a vocab of about 5-10 real words and about 15 word approximations

or sounds. he mostly uses gestures. well i will try to email this letter to you

so that maybe it can help you. also, in the mornings when you drop off your

little one, if you notice that there is one paticular teacher on duty all the

time you may want to consider stopping and talking to her/him one morning, even

if it is not his teacher, and just share some

of what you have gone through, and are going through with them, of course i

would not do it in front of the little one but just share with them that way

they can help watch out for " bullies " that may be being ugly to him and maybe

they can intervine to stop the verbal abuse. yes kids will be kids and no they

mostly at this age do not realize that they are being ugly or mean to someone,

but there is ALWAYS something you can do about it. i make my presence known at

jacob's school and i know most of the teachers there, not personally but i have

talked with them, and they have been wonderful with jacob in protecting him from

those harsh moments. i hope i have been of some help even if it was only to

reassure you that you are not alone in this terrible fright. good luck to you

both and i will send you the page i told you about.

quixotic_paradise <quixotic_paradise@...> wrote:

Hi.

I'm new to this group, but not new to apraxia. My son was diagnosed

four years ago. He's six years old, and for three years he was in a

Developmental Delay program with kids a lot like himself. He just

started mainstream Kindergarten a few days ago, and I'm concerned.

The diagnosis, the therapy (with all its problems), the frustration…

all of that, I managed to handle. But today when I dropped my son off

at school, I heard one of his classmates say, " Hey, it's the weird

one. He can't sit here. " I was expecting stuff like that, as I know

kids aren't the most sensitive and discreet beings, but I was still

jolted. I didn't even know what to say. Thankfully, my child doesn't

quite recognize what that means (I don't think it even registered with

him that the other kid was referring to him). But when I got back out

to the car, I just broke down crying.

I'm worried for my son. I don't know if I should leave him in an

antagonistic setting. I know socialization is important, but I don't

want him to be shunned and not have any friends. He's a very friendly,

affectionate, loving child, and an openly hostile environment would be

difficult for him. He doesn't understand that he's " different " and he

doesn't understand why other kids don't play with him. For this first

week, he has seemed reluctant to communicate with me about his day

after school. I don't know if this is just because mainstream school

in general is new and a stress, and he needs a wall between that and

home, or if it's because he's not happy. He doesn't seem reluctant to

go to school, but neither is he terribly enthusiastic.

I don't know what to do, or who to talk to. His regular teacher is out

for the first few weeks, and there's a sub in her place—not the most

informed of people, and certainly not someone it would be beneficial

to talk with about all this. And no one else is in a position to

observe and know how he's doing.

Anyway, I guess there's really no point to this post. I just felt the

need to connect with people that have been through this, or are going

through it. I don't have anyone else to talk to. I can't concentrate

on anything, and I just keep wanting to go back to the school and

bring my kiddo home. I don't know how I'll get through the rest of the

week, let alone the year. Writing this has been cathartic, so I

suppose that's something. If anyone has advice on coping, I'm all

ears. But really, I feel supported just knowing that there are others

out there who have gone through, or are facing, similar things. I'm

glad I found this group. Not that I would wish this on anyone else's

kiddo, but I'm glad to know my son and I aren't alone in all this.

Anyway, thanks for reading.

~quix

[Guest guest]

I'm in the same boat with you! My little guy will be 5 in a couple of weeks.

THankfully! He missed the kindergarten cut off date. He is in a developmental

semi-private preschool. I have NO idea what to do next year. There just aren't

a lot of options. There is a speech school that has evaluated him, but he isn't

doing a good job mimicking sounds even. I suspect apraxia, but since he has no

actual words......

HE has a place at the school IF he starts to mimick sounds. Until then, well,

I just don't know what to do. Our local public schools does NOT have a good

track record with special needs kiddos. I am a qualified teacher so I am

considering homeschooling. Just not quite sure how to afford it, but I may have

to figure that out as well.

Good luck on your decision.

Sherry

quixotic_paradise <quixotic_paradise@...> wrote:

Hi Debbie,

I've considered home schooling as well. The only thing really holding

me back is the socialization issue. My son loves to be around other

kids (when they're accepting of and friendly toward him), and I don't

want to deny him the opportunity that mainstream schooling affords in

that regard. Also, I'm a single mom, so arranging a home schedule

would be difficult.

However, I certainly don't want my kiddo to go through the sort of

decline that your child did. I'll keep a close eye on him, and keep

your experience in mind. Better to err on the side of caution rather

than inflict unnecessary trauma on my child. He's got enough to deal

with as it is, so I'll do whatever is necessary to help get him

through all this. Thanks for the insight. I'll look for warning signs,

and will remember what you've said.

I'm glad your son is prospering now. I hope my kiddo has the same

level of success!

~quix

>

> Hi--

> My apraxic (verbal) son was in public school through kindergarten

and the first half of first grade. I saw him gradually shut down. He

reached a point where he was almost catatonic. I tried and tried

working with the school. My son just wasn't learning. I was

desperate. I was too intimidated to homeschool--a pyschologist told

me my son would have severe learning disabilities and I just didn't

think I could handle teaching him. The last straw was when I got my

son's school picture. A big tear was on his cheek and his eyes--well

his eyes told a story of their own. Anguish. Anxiety. I started

homeschooling my son Dec 16, 1998. It has been so hard but so, so

rewarding. My son is now testing way above grade level on

standardized tests, he's an accomplished athlete and now at only 15,

an Eagle Scout. I hope this is encouraging to you. I realize all

children are not the same but these sons of ours are precious gifts

who deserve to grow up in the environments our

> hearts tell us is best.--Debbie

>

Sherry Milner

Don't forget to checkout Will's progress!!!

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/willmilner

29:11:

For I know the plans I have for you, " declares the LORD, " plans to prosper you

and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

---------------------------------

All-new - Fire up a more powerful email and get things done faster.

[Guest guest]

Sherry and Quix,

Homeschooling does not need to be expensive (I spend less than $300 per year

for curriculum). Single parents do homeschool and as for the socialization

issue, study after study shows homeschooled children are more sociable than

their non-homeschooled peers. The internet has tons of info--I encourage you to

check it out.--Debbie

Sherry <sherrymilner@...> wrote:

I'm in the same boat with you! My little guy will be 5 in a couple of

weeks. THankfully! He missed the kindergarten cut off date. He is in a

developmental semi-private preschool. I have NO idea what to do next year. There

just aren't a lot of options. There is a speech school that has evaluated him,

but he isn't doing a good job mimicking sounds even. I suspect apraxia, but

since he has no actual words......

HE has a place at the school IF he starts to mimick sounds. Until then, well, I

just don't know what to do. Our local public schools does NOT have a good track

record with special needs kiddos. I am a qualified teacher so I am considering

homeschooling. Just not quite sure how to afford it, but I may have to figure

that out as well.

Good luck on your decision.

Sherry

quixotic_paradise <quixotic_paradise@...> wrote:

Hi Debbie,

I've considered home schooling as well. The only thing really holding

me back is the socialization issue. My son loves to be around other

kids (when they're accepting of and friendly toward him), and I don't

want to deny him the opportunity that mainstream schooling affords in

that regard. Also, I'm a single mom, so arranging a home schedule

would be difficult.

However, I certainly don't want my kiddo to go through the sort of

decline that your child did. I'll keep a close eye on him, and keep

your experience in mind. Better to err on the side of caution rather

than inflict unnecessary trauma on my child. He's got enough to deal

with as it is, so I'll do whatever is necessary to help get him

through all this. Thanks for the insight. I'll look for warning signs,

and will remember what you've said.

I'm glad your son is prospering now. I hope my kiddo has the same

level of success!

~quix

>

> Hi--

> My apraxic (verbal) son was in public school through kindergarten

and the first half of first grade. I saw him gradually shut down. He

reached a point where he was almost catatonic. I tried and tried

working with the school. My son just wasn't learning. I was

desperate. I was too intimidated to homeschool--a pyschologist told

me my son would have severe learning disabilities and I just didn't

think I could handle teaching him. The last straw was when I got my

son's school picture. A big tear was on his cheek and his eyes--well

his eyes told a story of their own. Anguish. Anxiety. I started

homeschooling my son Dec 16, 1998. It has been so hard but so, so

rewarding. My son is now testing way above grade level on

standardized tests, he's an accomplished athlete and now at only 15,

an Eagle Scout. I hope this is encouraging to you. I realize all

children are not the same but these sons of ours are precious gifts

who deserve to grow up in the environments our

> hearts tell us is best.--Debbie

>

Sherry Milner

Don't forget to checkout Will's progress!!!

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/willmilner

29:11:

For I know the plans I have for you, " declares the LORD, " plans to prosper you

and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

---------------------------------

All-new - Fire up a more powerful email and get things done faster.

[Guest guest]

OUr biggest problem is that DH and I are both public school teachers so money

will be VERY tight. I am really thinking and praying about it though! Thanks

for the info.

Sherry

Debbie Wonser <debbiewonser@...> wrote:

Sherry and Quix,

Homeschooling does not need to be expensive (I spend less than $300 per year for

curriculum). Single parents do homeschool and as for the socialization issue,

study after study shows homeschooled children are more sociable than their

non-homeschooled peers. The internet has tons of info--I encourage you to check

it out.--Debbie

Sherry <sherrymilner@...> wrote:

I'm in the same boat with you! My little guy will be 5 in a couple of weeks.

THankfully! He missed the kindergarten cut off date. He is in a developmental

semi-private preschool. I have NO idea what to do next year. There just aren't a

lot of options. There is a speech school that has evaluated him, but he isn't

doing a good job mimicking sounds even. I suspect apraxia, but since he has no

actual words......

HE has a place at the school IF he starts to mimick sounds. Until then, well, I

just don't know what to do. Our local public schools does NOT have a good track

record with special needs kiddos. I am a qualified teacher so I am considering

homeschooling. Just not quite sure how to afford it, but I may have to figure

that out as well.

Good luck on your decision.

Sherry

quixotic_paradise <quixotic_paradise@...> wrote:

Hi Debbie,

I've considered home schooling as well. The only thing really holding

me back is the socialization issue. My son loves to be around other

kids (when they're accepting of and friendly toward him), and I don't

want to deny him the opportunity that mainstream schooling affords in

that regard. Also, I'm a single mom, so arranging a home schedule

would be difficult.

However, I certainly don't want my kiddo to go through the sort of

decline that your child did. I'll keep a close eye on him, and keep

your experience in mind. Better to err on the side of caution rather

than inflict unnecessary trauma on my child. He's got enough to deal

with as it is, so I'll do whatever is necessary to help get him

through all this. Thanks for the insight. I'll look for warning signs,

and will remember what you've said.

I'm glad your son is prospering now. I hope my kiddo has the same

level of success!

~quix

>

> Hi--

> My apraxic (verbal) son was in public school through kindergarten

and the first half of first grade. I saw him gradually shut down. He

reached a point where he was almost catatonic. I tried and tried

working with the school. My son just wasn't learning. I was

desperate. I was too intimidated to homeschool--a pyschologist told

me my son would have severe learning disabilities and I just didn't

think I could handle teaching him. The last straw was when I got my

son's school picture. A big tear was on his cheek and his eyes--well

his eyes told a story of their own. Anguish. Anxiety. I started

homeschooling my son Dec 16, 1998. It has been so hard but so, so

rewarding. My son is now testing way above grade level on

standardized tests, he's an accomplished athlete and now at only 15,

an Eagle Scout. I hope this is encouraging to you. I realize all

children are not the same but these sons of ours are precious gifts

who deserve to grow up in the environments our

> hearts tell us is best.--Debbie

>

Sherry Milner

Don't forget to checkout Will's progress!!!

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/willmilner

29:11:

For I know the plans I have for you, " declares the LORD, " plans to prosper you

and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.