New to PLS

[Guest guest]

There have been several " new " folks that have joined this group. I don't

usually say stuff like " welcome, " mainly because I'm just too lazy most of

the time. Besides, others say it much better than I could, anyway. I'll

just add that this is a terrific bunch of people. Sure, we get in snits

every now and then, but each of us shares in the knowledge of what it is

like to not be a gimp, and then come down with this stuff. Granted, each

of us is a tad different, and our particular symptoms differ, but now and

then and often from the people you'd least expect, comes both wisdom and

similarity.

Anyway, those of you new folks who haven't already received your handbook

from the government detailing the vast array of government programs now

available to you, probably have a few questions. I'll try to address some

of the inherent benefits.

1. You may qualify for a special parking space. Your new status as a gimp

may indeed win you a permit for those coveted " handicapped " spaces. No

longer must you circle the parking lot in vain, now you can zip into one

those spaces with the blue signs. If you can find a vacant one...

2. You can have two disabilities for the price of one. If you have

trouble walking, people often assume you have trouble hearing too, and will

yell at you. Even after you tell them you are not deaf, some of them will

continue shouting.

3. You may get a chair with wheels. Imagine, no more of that tedious

walking. People will watch you with envy as you roll through crowds. Or

you may get a cane or a walker. People always watch out for those.

Restaurants, theaters, stores and the like are well-equiped to deal with

those who are, uh, " bipedaly challenged, " and require " assistive

equipment. " Always.

4. Each and every day is a new experience. You aren't sure exactly what

is still going to function. There is some good news and some bad news

about that. The good news is that there is a definite direction. The bad

news is that it is downhill.

5. There is no handbook or vast array of government programs, a lot of

times you have to fight for stuff. You are pretty much on your own, except

for groups like this, and they can be few and far between. People here

deal with stuff I have to deal with, that's just one of the things that

makes it invaluable to me. Then again, if you get really mad at an opinion

expressed here, you can print it out and do perverted things to it. Where

else can you find such a group?

Galen Hekhuis NpD, JFR, GWA ghekhuis@...

We are the CroMagnon of the future