Re: New, scared, and in need of a pep talk

[Guest guest]

Hi !

My daughter is also 23 months old. She actually just started

saying 'mama' a couple of weeks ago, which is her first clear word.

She has been talking in vowels for a couple of months now. Before

that, the only noises she made were crying (a lot!) and 'ah'. She

still has no other consonants other than 'mmmm'. (She did have a 2-

week period around 7 months where she babbled dadada and nanana also.)

I am also a stay at home mom, and I know the feeling about pressuring

her. I feel like I work on therapy with her all the time. My 4 year

old is trying to be her therapist now too -- she will make her try to

say something before she will give her a toy, etc. It would be funny

if it weren't so sad!

I don't know that I have any advice for you, but I do know how you

feel. Some days it is really hard to deal with!

Feel free to email me -- sounds a lot like we are in the same boat!

Sherrie

> Our daughter is 23 months old, and as an infant, never babbled at

> all. She made no consonant noises at all until right around her

> first birthday, when she started with " mmmmmm " , which eventually

> turned into " MAMA " (music to my ears). She had a full hearing test

> at 13 months with an ENT doctor, and passed.

>

> After that, MAMA and DADA were used for everything. Occasionally,

> we would hear " KKKKKIII " for kitty and " PAH " for Papa.

>

> Two months ago, her use of these few words tapered off, then

> eventually stopped completely. Now, all she " says " is " eh. "

She'll

> see something familiar and point and say " eh. " When she is excited

> and happy, she'll scream " eh. " We read a book, and I'll ask her

who

> someone is, and she'll say " eh. "

>

> She has been in Early Intervention since April, and a speech

> therapist comes twice a week for one hour. The speech therapist

has

> been encouraging the use of signs, which are hit or miss around

> here - literally! Our daughter hits herself, me, her dad, the poor

> dogs and cats...The speech therapist is not going anywhere near a

> diagnosis after only working with our daughter for 2 months. But I

> fear that we are having a total and complete speech regression, and

> the feeling of helplessness is overwhelming.

>

> We started our daughter on Pro EFA August 6. While I have noticed

> her using her tongue and mouth in a more exaggerated manner, there

> have been no words. We are giving her 2 capsules per day (mixed in

> her yogurt).

>

> I am a Stay at Home Mom, and she is our first child. I feel like

my

> days are spent pressuring her to talk, which breaks my heart. She

> has picked up many new signs, but seems very self conscious about

> using them. She will reluctantly use the sign for more, but

> immediately wring her little hands like she is embarassed. That

> kills me. She will not mimic or repeat anything we say, but I have

> noticed she with mouth or whisper occasionally, like MAMA or DADA.

> That is such a mystery to me!

>

> I provide a constant commentary all day to her on what we're doing,

> who we see, etc...I thought that was a good plan - to keep words

> flowing and expose her to lots of communication, but is that really

> what's best? If I ask her what something is, and she says, " Eh " , I

> will say, " That is a _____ " . If I continue doing that, will she

> ever feel the need to actually answer me? Or does she think " eh "

is

> the right word? I realize these are all rhetorical

> questions...Sorry.

>

> Her first evaluation in the EI program showed a 73% speech delay,

> with no other significant delays. She is SO smart, totally

> understands us, is an ace at puzzles, shape sorting, has an

> incredible sense of humor, is very loving, and so delightful. I

feel

> so guilty for putting any type of pressure on her. I just have a

> really bad feeling about the loss of words and the " eh " .

>

> So, any words of wisdom for me? Chin up? Stick with the Pro EFA?

> Up the speech therapy? How can I ease up on the pressure I feel I'm

> putting on her and just deal with this?

>

> Thanks for listening.

[Guest guest]

Our son will be 3 in November. Reading your story sounds so like

ours. The day after his second b-day his pediatrician thought he

might have PDD Autism but now it looks like he has developmental

speech of apraxia. He had about 10 words but lost them around 18mths

to where he was only saying mama. It was heartbreaking. The temper

tantrums, the frustration was utterly exhausting. We didn't know what

to do, we felt completely helpless. Here's some things that worked

great for us. We saw a behavioural therapist bi-weekly for 4 mths.

She was a tremendous support and helped us work through the temper

tantrums and exaggerated behaviours our son would go through

(hitting, kicking, 20mins to 90mins tantrums etc). Sign Language was

a gift!! We bought 3 of the Signing Time videos, the website is

www.signingtime.com. This opened up a whole new world, decreased the

frustration level and tantrums. It took the pressure off our son to

talk. It took about 3 weeks before he started using the signs, now 3

months later, we have sign conversations. Picture boards also

helpful. We have felt boards with velcro and keep his favorite foods,

bedtime routine etc on them. Food was always a tantrum starter. He

couldn't tell us when he was hungry or thirsty and when we did figure

it out, he couldn't tell us what he wanted. Now he can sign thirsty

and eat and he points to the picture boards for the foods he wants.

At the beginning we tried to push his speech by asking him to say

words - he would get soooo mad. From what I've read and been told by

our SLP, don't push the speech. Voluntary speech is very difficult

for them. What you are doing is great!!! Continue talking through

your activities etc. The time will come when your child will want to

try and you will be able to push a little then. Any attempt at a word

our son makes - we cheer and clap hands eventhough he may not even

sound like the word. He even claps for himself. It's a long slow road

but you will get there. It's nearly been a year for us now and I've

felt like you are feeling on many occassions. If will get better.

[Guest guest]

Chin up! Keep up with the ProEFA!

Developing speech is a process. For some unknown reasons, some

children either take longer in the process or have trouble

completing certain steps in the process (ie; diaphragm control, oral

awareness, etc). It is the RARE child that suddenly 'speaks'!

My now 3 year old son was in speech therapy for a year before he

started making progress noticeable to me. Our situation differs

from yours (Autism is part of our diagnosis), but many parents of

non-Autistic late talkers will tell you about their slow progress,

too.

Your daughter sounds like a pistol. I'd bet most of the pressure to

speak is felt by YOU at this point and not by her. Odds are, speech

will happen. KEEP GIVING POINT BY POINT BLOWS OF YOUR DAY! The way

you are speaking to her now sounds wonderful. Some parents struggle

to do what you are already doing naturally.

Take care,

Pam

> Our daughter is 23 months old, and as an infant, never babbled at

> all. She made no consonant noises at all until right around her

> first birthday, when she started with " mmmmmm " , which eventually

> turned into " MAMA " (music to my ears). She had a full hearing

test

> at 13 months with an ENT doctor, and passed.

>

> After that, MAMA and DADA were used for everything. Occasionally,

> we would hear " KKKKKIII " for kitty and " PAH " for Papa.

>

> Two months ago, her use of these few words tapered off, then

> eventually stopped completely. Now, all she " says " is " eh. "

She'll

> see something familiar and point and say " eh. " When she is

excited

> and happy, she'll scream " eh. " We read a book, and I'll ask her

who

> someone is, and she'll say " eh. "

>

> She has been in Early Intervention since April, and a speech

> therapist comes twice a week for one hour. The speech therapist

has

> been encouraging the use of signs, which are hit or miss around

> here - literally! Our daughter hits herself, me, her dad, the

poor

> dogs and cats...The speech therapist is not going anywhere near a

> diagnosis after only working with our daughter for 2 months. But

I

> fear that we are having a total and complete speech regression,

and

> the feeling of helplessness is overwhelming.

>

> We started our daughter on Pro EFA August 6. While I have noticed

> her using her tongue and mouth in a more exaggerated manner, there

> have been no words. We are giving her 2 capsules per day (mixed

in

> her yogurt).

>

> I am a Stay at Home Mom, and she is our first child. I feel like

my

> days are spent pressuring her to talk, which breaks my heart. She

> has picked up many new signs, but seems very self conscious about

> using them. She will reluctantly use the sign for more, but

> immediately wring her little hands like she is embarassed. That

> kills me. She will not mimic or repeat anything we say, but I

have

> noticed she with mouth or whisper occasionally, like MAMA or

DADA.

> That is such a mystery to me!

>

> I provide a constant commentary all day to her on what we're

doing,

> who we see, etc...I thought that was a good plan - to keep words

> flowing and expose her to lots of communication, but is that

really

> what's best? If I ask her what something is, and she says, " Eh " ,

I

> will say, " That is a _____ " . If I continue doing that, will she

> ever feel the need to actually answer me? Or does she think " eh "

is

> the right word? I realize these are all rhetorical

> questions...Sorry.

>

> Her first evaluation in the EI program showed a 73% speech delay,

> with no other significant delays. She is SO smart, totally

> understands us, is an ace at puzzles, shape sorting, has an

> incredible sense of humor, is very loving, and so delightful. I

feel

> so guilty for putting any type of pressure on her. I just have a

> really bad feeling about the loss of words and the " eh " .

>

> So, any words of wisdom for me? Chin up? Stick with the Pro

EFA?

> Up the speech therapy? How can I ease up on the pressure I feel

I'm

> putting on her and just deal with this?

>

> Thanks for listening.

[Guest guest]

,

My advise is up the speech therapy, I cant believe the SLP isn't suggesting

this. Your dd is still fairly young and has the capability to talk because she

DOES communicate as it sounds through gestures. What do family members say,

your Mother, etc?...

My dd didn't have a regression so severe but she had only a 25 single word

vocabulary when we started speech at 3 1/2 and I started her at 3 days a week, I

dont know if you can but is it possible to do 4 days a week? My dd also has

a sensory processing disorder and by what you said it sounds like your does

not and that is very GOOD! Again, my advise is at least 3 to 4 days a week.

Please let me know if this helps, again this is just my advise. It sounds like

your daughter otherwise is doing wonderful and that will definatley aid her

with progressing. Good Luck!

[Guest guest]

,

Just know you are not alone. I (we all) feel your pain and frustration.

I just wanted to tell you not to give up on the ProEFA. I saw an increase in

concentration initially but it was three months into using the ProEFA when my

son had unbelievable gains (at that point he was 27 months old). He went from

having only " ma " " go " and " ga " (for dad) to full sentences (we understand a fair

bit of it too!). We also started out with the sign language too, which for my

son, soon became a cue (e.g. he signed for " more " and eventually would say " m "

then " mo " (he can't do an " r " yet).

Good Luck,

Anita

> Our daughter is 23 months old, and as an infant, never babbled at

> all. She made no consonant noises at all until right around her

> first birthday, when she started with " mmmmmm " , which eventually

> turned into " MAMA " (music to my ears). She had a full hearing test

> at 13 months with an ENT doctor, and passed.

>

> After that, MAMA and DADA were used for everything. Occasionally,

> we would hear " KKKKKIII " for kitty and " PAH " for Papa.

>

> Two months ago, her use of these few words tapered off, then

> eventually stopped completely. Now, all she " says " is " eh. "

She'll

> see something familiar and point and say " eh. " When she is excited

> and happy, she'll scream " eh. " We read a book, and I'll ask her

who

> someone is, and she'll say " eh. "

>

> She has been in Early Intervention since April, and a speech

> therapist comes twice a week for one hour. The speech therapist

has

> been encouraging the use of signs, which are hit or miss around

> here - literally! Our daughter hits herself, me, her dad, the poor

> dogs and cats...The speech therapist is not going anywhere near a

> diagnosis after only working with our daughter for 2 months. But I

> fear that we are having a total and complete speech regression, and

> the feeling of helplessness is overwhelming.

>

> We started our daughter on Pro EFA August 6. While I have noticed

> her using her tongue and mouth in a more exaggerated manner, there

> have been no words. We are giving her 2 capsules per day (mixed in

> her yogurt).

>

> I am a Stay at Home Mom, and she is our first child. I feel like

my

> days are spent pressuring her to talk, which breaks my heart. She

> has picked up many new signs, but seems very self conscious about

> using them. She will reluctantly use the sign for more, but

> immediately wring her little hands like she is embarassed. That

> kills me. She will not mimic or repeat anything we say, but I have

> noticed she with mouth or whisper occasionally, like MAMA or DADA.

> That is such a mystery to me!

>

> I provide a constant commentary all day to her on what we're doing,

> who we see, etc...I thought that was a good plan - to keep words

> flowing and expose her to lots of communication, but is that really

> what's best? If I ask her what something is, and she says, " Eh " , I

> will say, " That is a _____ " . If I continue doing that, will she

> ever feel the need to actually answer me? Or does she think " eh "

is

> the right word? I realize these are all rhetorical

> questions...Sorry.

>

> Her first evaluation in the EI program showed a 73% speech delay,

> with no other significant delays. She is SO smart, totally

> understands us, is an ace at puzzles, shape sorting, has an

> incredible sense of humor, is very loving, and so delightful. I

feel

> so guilty for putting any type of pressure on her. I just have a

> really bad feeling about the loss of words and the " eh " .

>

> So, any words of wisdom for me? Chin up? Stick with the Pro EFA?

> Up the speech therapy? How can I ease up on the pressure I feel I'm

> putting on her and just deal with this?

>

> Thanks for listening.