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Re: what what what?

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Hi - I thought the conversation could be confusing for a 5 y.o.,

particularly one with hearing loss. I find even at 12 and 10 years of

age, my boys are at times very literal. For example, our pediatrician

told Sam at his 9 year checkup that he needed to eat 5 vegetables

daily. somehow Sam got out of that conversation 5 vegetables over 5

days (okay - maybe he was hearing what he wanted to hear!) but I do find

that I'm at times surprised at words they don't know but I thought they

did. Sam has spelling words every week - and when he spells the words,

we first go over the definition of the word, then I have him use the

word in a sentence to be sure he knows it. Sam knew the word " prefer "

but had no idea the word " preference " (or that it was derived from

prefer). Sam's reading pretty far above grade level, he's in 4th grade

and fully mainstreamed - it was surprising and eye-opening for me.

Another time when he was in first grade, Sam and I were chatting and I

mentioned that his friend, Jamison, would be coming home on the

schoolbus with him on Wednesday. It was Monday - so Sam comes home on

the schoolbus on Monday to an empty house (the Mellert family's answer

to " Home Alone " - lost in Hanover!). It was very scary for Sam. I'm

now very direct and ask him " where are you going after school " so I know

he gets it.

I find I'm continually learning about communicating with my boys and the

best way to do it....

Barbara

Kearns wrote:

>I was reading the conversation you transcribed and thought it was confusing,

especially to a young child and one learning language. You wrote...

>

>This is a conversation I had with my 5 y.o. child (moderate hearing

>loss) as we were getting his backpack ready for kindergarten.

>

>me: What is due today?

>him: What?

>me: Anything that needs to go back to school today?

>him: What?

>me: WHAT IS DUE TODAY??? (getting impatient.)

>him: What?

>me: What do you think I said? (hmm, hearing aids are in, you're

>sitting next to me... you can't possibly not hear me!)

>him: What is due today?

>me: That's right. What's the problem?

>him: What is today?

>me: oh, today is Thursday.

>

>I forgot to tell him that he needs to ask SPECIFIC question. I'm

>pretty sure that I'll have another opportunity ;-)

>

>My son would be confused with the word " due " in the first place. Especially

because he would be thinking " do " and in the context you used he would most

definately be asking " What? " because he didn't understand. He'd probably be

thinking " what do we do or what are you going to do " ... something like that.

>

>And then when you responded with " Anything that needs to go back to school

today? " ... well unless he picked up on the tone to indicate it was a question he

might be confused again and maybe even thinking you have totally changed the

subject.

>

>Sounds like your son heard what you said but didn't understand it. Are you

sure he didn't understand the word " today " or was it " due " I know my son at

four understands " today " meaning now. Even if I told him the actual day of the

week it would not make the context of the conversation any more understandable.

>I'm so conscious about language now when communicating with my son that I think

about things I never would have before. It's actually very facinating as well

as confusing.

>

> K

>'s mom, 4.5 years, MEDEL CI at 20 months

>

>

>

--

****************

Barbara Mellert

Manager, Social Science Computing

Kiewit Computing Services

Dartmouth College

13A Silsby Hall, HB 6121

Hanover NH 03755

Telephone: 603/646-2877

URL: http://www.dartmouth.edu/~ssc

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